How do you discipline a toddler?

Time in works really well. It’s like time out, but instead of sitting them in a corner an adult holds the child on their lap until they settle down. Be consistent and tbh, your child is spoiled so unless that stops the behaviour isn’t going to change and will get worse in the long run.

It’s funny he’s telling you to find a solution. He’s the problem. Discipline isn’t punishing a child for bad behavior. It’s much more than that. It’s modeling good behavior & giving the child responsibility for his own actions. When he’s going out buying him every toy in existence he’s giving him a sense of entitlement. He doesn’t have to earn anything, he can take what he wants, he can do what he wants. He needs to stop! Pick 1 behavior to fix. Make a chart. Each day he either gets a smiley face/sticker/star or a sad face. I’ve he’s mastered by the skill. Go through his toys & take some away. That will help with the entitlement issue as well. Then you can use those toys as prizes.

Being consistent is key. I like time out as I used it with my son to good effect.

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You need to get him a timeout chair and put it in the corner away from where his toys are and where you all hang out like the family room. You need to sit him in it every time he acts out, or deliberately does something he’s not supposed to do. Be consistent. That’s the key. And Dad has to do the same thing when he disciplines him or it won’t work. He gets 3 minutes and if he gets up before that’s up, he sits again for another 3 minutes. Keep doing that and he’ll get it. And quick. Don’t talk to him or look at him when he’s in his time out chair. Walk away and let him be.

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Yeah it’s normal girl that’s not him being a boy, it’s him being a regular toddler. They will test your limits until they’re like 5-6. They will get into and touch everything. They will try to go outside, and do anything and everything. They are more aware of they’re surroundings and are obsessed with figuring everything out. Yes it’s frustrating, and it might make you upset and want to pull out your hair. But you’ll have to learn to deal with it, it’s not going to stop for while, but it will pass. Right now your in the get into, touching everything phase. Next is the 7 million questions in one minute phase. Cherish it anyway because time goes by fast, and I wish I had cherished it more than I got caught up into my feelings over the kids messing up my makeup or breaking a TV.

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So you spoil your child for 3 years , now it’s a problem :roll_eyes: Like really call the military :rage::rage:

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I understand your frustration and maybe he feels that too. Kids are very perceptive and can pick up on things. My rule with my 3 year old is if she isn’t hurting herself or others or putting others in danger I let her have her moments. We all need to decompress and let it out. I also think the best advice I was ever given (especially considering she would bounce off the walls) sensory play was either not enough or too much. She was either underwhelmed or overwhelmed. Also with the toy thing I explained that instead of putting money in to toys that we put it aside and go on a little lunch date or a little adventure because I found that time together was better then toys and they could wait for birthdays and Christmas to get toys to make those times more special.

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spare the rod spoil the child in the Bible

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He is just like your husband. A spoiled little boy.

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So here’s the thing- if he is running toward a busy street- STOP needs to be a directive that he follows. If he won’t follow the simple ones, he won’t follow the big (and often lifesaving ones). I’m all for positive parenting- but there’s a line that cannot be crossed. When I say NO, it’s no. I raised one child- so I do not have as much experience as others, but I’m also a high school teacher. No means no, or there ARE consequences.

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He’s testing his limits, but there is no one right way, every child is different and not everything is going to work for yours that works for ours but whatever you do, be consistent and hang in there, best of luck to you

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I agree. Yo young to spank. But also to young to be in trouble all the time. Let him play with some other kids outside in a play ground he can Learn from other children. He is just 3 still a young child. Don’t keep after him all the time it will only make him worse. It’s an attention getter for him. Let him have other children in to play with they also can learn from some of them. Things like sharing and being kind but he is basically still a baby three is young so take it easy on him. Best wishes always love Betty

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you had better show some tough ove, before it is to late, you might thing he is cute, but that won’tlast.

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I find the timeout for how ever old they are very useful. And taking “fun time away”

I also believe in spanking.

My husband was spanked.
I was not.
He also spoils our children and it causes entitlement issues. So I understand your struggle. He grew up well off and I grew up poor so I think it’s ridiculous but also a blessing.

So We use both.

One child I can spank. And it works.

The other, doesn’t matter how much I spank her it doesn’t work. She is also very high strung doesn’t sit still and loves to touch everything :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: So I take away things she enjoys. As she has gotten older it’s not just taking things away. It’s extra chores, or no spending the night somewhere special we had planned.

Also, the “this is a no, but this is a yes.”Distraction and redirecting.

We have a special chair for time outs. My daughter is also 3. She knows she has two chances and the 3rd time she has to go sit in time out for 3 minutes then we discuss what’s happened if she does it again after then it’s 6 minutes in time out. If that doesn’t work then she gets a bath (regardless of time it’s what calms her) then she has to rest. Sometimes we react before discipline so it doesn’t work. Try to discipline then speak with them. Don’t give in (it’s hard to hear them cry). Also make sure when you are disciplining you use a stern voice compared to your normal voice. You don’t have to yell it just has to be stern. My daughter’s both know by just a look when I’m serious.

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Spanking isnt hitting. Jesus. Gentle parenting doesn’t work…especially on toddlers. You are supposed to start with popping their hands at an early age when they get into things. Giving your kid a quick pop…on the hand or butt…is better than seeing him burn his hand on a hot stove or get hit by a car bc you dont want to discipline. Pop him on either,then send him to his room for a time out. Your kid needs to know you mean business or he will never listen to either of you. I had a niece that was spoiled and never spanked. Everywhere we went,she would run off and get lost…almost drowned every time qe went swimming bc took her life jacket off…almost got hit by cars thinking it was funny to run out into parking lots,etc. You want your kid yo stay safe…get him to know you mean business so he will listen and learn!

Also…Stop buying him stuff all the time! Bdays and holidays only!!! If does good in school and gets good grades. About only time kids should get toys. Created a monster…now gotta correct it and just time outs wont work as he has been let run wild for 3 years. Toddlers run on pure emotion anyway. Best way to do it is popping and time outs where have to lay in bed and calm down for 15 minutes after. Acts up in a store…take to bathroom or car. Pop that butt. He does it again…take him to the car and just leave. Dont reward bad behavior. Stay firm and you both get on board with the same punishment. That way he sees can’t manipulate one parent to get his way. Kids are ruthless.

Ask his dad to spend more time with him as to children love spells time. Take him to a park.

stop the spoiling of him , cause like others have said it will get worse !let him go out-side with others his onw age , and play , take him to parks / have a picnic at a park and after lunch let him run free ., until it’s time to go home and go have a nap - start treating him like an older child of around 4 or 5 years old ! he will than understand that he can’t get whatever he wants . dad and u have to understand that spoiling a child doesn’t help the child very much it just kinda confuses him a bit !

Dad’s gonna have to stop that behavior. Setting a very very bad precedence.

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If you don’t get Dad sorted out first…your son will not improve.
Yes my kids were very spoiled but there were limits and they knew not to push them.
Children need consistency. Both parents must be working together or the child will play one against the other.
So talk to Dad. Decide whats acceptable and the consequences of unacceptable behaviour .
Children are all different and respond to different forms of discipline.
Dont be constantly correcting or punishing because he will stop listening. Praise more than you punish and use distraction to stop him touching.
He must learn that stop /no are important and are for his safety rather than just because he’s being a bit naughty and if that means he gets an occasional tapped bottom then so be it…id rather that than a dead child because he headed out into the street and got knocked down .

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This!! My son is also 3 and it literally sounds like you’ve described him. I’d never spank him and wouldn’t agree with my husband doing it. He is very spoilt and we both buy him new toys each time we go out or a magazine or something. He is mostly good but on his bad days he really does test both of us. The one thing I’ve found that works for him is to take away his favourite toy at the time. He instantly reacts and gets upset and apologises and I get on his level and explain what was wrong and that he can’t do it. He understands. Kids are very smart and we underestimate them. Each child is different but you find a way to deal with yours and what works best. Sometimes the time out method works but not always as we have a puppy and she thinks it’s a game and sits with him to play! Hang on in there, I’ve been told it gets easier so there is hope yet!!

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You would benefit from reading “the explosive child” by Ross Greene I think.
Also look into getting him to see a psychologist or paediatrician as there could be something more going on with some of his behaviours you’ve mentioned.Yes children can be terrors and it can be normal behavior but some children can’t help this if there’s anything else going on inside there heads

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Don’t spoil the child. If he “wants” something in the store as you leave, don’t give him anything but stern warning. The child may throw a fit, so be it. Don’t get them anything at all. Tell your child that they have to earn whatever it is they want. PARENT: DO NOT GIVE IN!

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Positive parenting… reward for good behaviour only. Figure out a way to turn the behaviour you don’t like into a positive situation and reward him for it every time… doesn’t have to be expensive can be a stamped chart then once he’s displayed the good behaviour multiple times then he gets a better reward. You set the goal for him to achieve - could be going out to play at a ball park.

3yo are tricky but you will find something that works for you and his Daddy - both parents need to be on the same page so it’s consistent.

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Every time he does something wrong tale one of his favorite things away. DO NOT give it back. He’ll quit soon enough

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First of all, put Dad in time out!!! He doesn’t have to buy the child every toy he wants. Go outside & play ball with him. Go find some frogs or lighting bugs. You can’t buy love & respect. Yes he is technically still a wee one, but if you don’t make him,ind now, he never will and when he gets older & doesn’t get everything he wants it’s going to be a rude awakening. We went though something close to this when my husband was in the Army. It’s hard but your husband has to make a living & the child has to learn to understand it. Good luck my dear. Most of all, you and your husband has to be on the same page or your child will play you two .

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Boy howdy! You are on a course that will not end well. Your son is going to love you regardless of the toys and things. Best make a plan NOW. He has you by the short hairs already. You might be able to handle his attitude but believe me when I say you are setting him up for failure in his adult life. Nobody is gonna want to be around him. You can do this. You and hubby sound very loving. Please follow through. Your child when he is a man will thank you.

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I dont believe in yelling at kids but a light butt spanking never hurt anybody

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You and your husband got to find a way to make your child listen. At 3 it’s hard because of the terrible 3’s. But nip it in the butt or you will have major problems when he gets older. He will always be in trouble. Probably expelled from school and maybe in prison. This is no joke. Straighten him out while he is young so you have the upper hand when he goes into teenage years. Much luck to you.

Little ass whooping ain’t going to hurt him,if you don’t do it now you will regret it later

You have to stay consistent with the method of your choice (spanking shouldn’t be an option). Although he may know what’s right and wrong, they don’t have impulse control at that age. Keep explaining to him what not to do and why.

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Honey, you can’t reason with a three year old. Don’t replace broken toys ( he has so many that they have no value), stop whatever fun things you’re doing and separate him from other kids, tv show, toys, etc.

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I babysit my niece’s children…ages 7 and 2 1/2. I also spoil them rotten. However when they misbehave I have a fly swatter that all I have to do is either show it to them or ask them if they want a swat on their bottom with it and they straighten up. I don’t ‘beat’ them with it and usually never even touch them so that tactic usually works. It worked with my older sister’s children when they were younger and they turned into great parents themselves. Time outs have proven to not be very effective with my niece’s littles.

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I could have written this! :heart: Everyone around him (dad, grandma) let him boss them around and get his way but ya sure, it’s cute when they are little but not so much when they are grown.

I always say, you can let a kitten climb your leg when little but just wait until they are 10 to 15lbs and are still doing it… its the same with kids.

I’m now feeling like twice the bad cop trying to compete with these people and trying to raise my child to succeed.

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Your son sounds like a normal 3 yr old boy

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Tis better to spank hem when he is young. Than HAVE hem spend time in jail latter. Spear the rod. And spoill the child

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Why am I not seeing anything about setting boundaries, having consequences and having time out? I’m not sure u really understand today’s way of raising children , but I know I can’t stand the way most kids act nowadays. They are rude and disrespectful, demanding and entitled. Mine aren’t entirely grown I do have a 28 yr old (4 grandsons there) , a 22 yr old,21 yr old and a 14 year old. My oldest will tell you she only got like 3 spankings but no was no and none of them ever wanted to test that word too far. I was a single mom the majority of my child rearing until my youngest and I’m still the discipline supervisor, what I say goes. Usually a look corrects my kids. But I choose not to have internet, my teens phone isn’t active till it needs to be for a trip or something or she pays for it. … at 3 , my little princess knew where her time out tree was at the playground… idk I just did things differently. I instilled the power of choice in my kids but also the wisdom to choose correctly or know there actions would be dealt with. And they knew they weren’t born entitled anything if I had to work to earn it, so didn’t they.

Well I should have listened to my sister in law 28 years ago…… she said it doesn’t matter if you buy something for a pound it’s the fact she always gets something and knows it!!!

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Sounds like he has ADHD have him checked by a doctor.

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If this is to continue ---------well expect the worse as he gets older! The more bigger and more expensive things will be demanded. That will result in a very unhappy family. Children need to be taught at a young age that not all can be theirs.

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girl Dad has it right, you are not beating a child when you swat his hand or his butt you are reaching him to mind. Get on top of it now before it is too late!

Hate to say it love
But you and your hubby has brought all this on your selves

You have allowed him to expect what he wants and when he wants it

There is a big difference in spanking and hitting a child

I’ve spanked my kids When they were that age ,they have turned out fine

If he dose something wrong , that he knows is wrong then spank him for it
No use getting down to his level and talking to him about it
As he is only 3 and it will go in one ear and out the other

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I am not saying spank him for everything but if you don’t spank him now to teach him he will grow into a teenager that doesn’t know consequences and eventually you will be getting him out of jail.

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You need to reevaluate your plans.

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Your husband is his FATHER. Allow him to discipline his child. Your son is not made of blown glass. Your husband is not abusing your son with these mild consequences. NO means NO. It doesn’t mean MAYBE. Your son [who’s almost old enough to start Pre-K] has got to learn boundaries and consequences. That needs to be a fundamental part of your parenting. He will press you because he’s young. It’s your job to stand your ground. Whispering in his ear and speaking softly when he’s really misbehaving WILL NOT WORK. You have to draw a hard line in the sand and he is not to cross it. If he does - there’s appropriate consequences. When he does good things - praise him emphatically. We he doesn’t - put an immediate stop to it. He’s not the boss and he needs to understand that. Dad spoiling him with “things” isn’t helping. They can also bond over shared experiences. They can plant a small tree, a tomato plant or strawberries together. It’s something simple they can initiate and maintain TOGETHER over time. They can kick a soccer ball in the yard together for 20 mins on the weekend. That will also help burn off some energy. Allow your husband to parent his son when he’s present. He’s not abusing him. He’s demonstrating boundaries & consequences which is important for little boys at this stage in development.:+1:

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Basically your husband had no rules for him whatsoever,spoiled him to the max and now he is punishing his child for that???
You need to be a team with what are you doing, he can’t have different treatment from mummy or daddy…
My 2 years old is cheeky with a dog recently and when I tell him off he goes and hug his dad being all cute :rofl: and then the dad will say the same thing to him and we have a carry on but I believe that at the end of the day he understands that he was wrong

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No means no! I’d spank his but and put him in timeout!

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Spoil a kid and this happens. There’s nothing wrong with ass whoopings, but letting them do what they want only leads to more problems.

Stop giving him what he wants. He knows he can manipulate you guys that’s why he acts that way. He knows he gets new toys weather he’s good or bad. Your rewarding his bad behavior weather you see it or not by continuing to buy him toys. Stand your ground take everything away even if he throws a fit let him he’s gotta learn. Try time out if he won’t sit put him in like a play pen or crib if you have one so he ain’t gotta choice but to sit and calm down. Yes he’s gonna throw a fit for a little bit but LET HIM. If you’re overwhelmed with the situation walk away for a minute take a breather bc they can feel how you feel and the problem will just escalate even worse than walking away for a minute.

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If you dont nip this in the bud now, your going to have a problem later on. Not for beating a kid but some kind of dicipline is needed. He needs to learn boundries now

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He does something bad spank him

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Y’all brought this on yourselves! Y’all are already teaching him to manipulate you both to get what he wants. You can’t give him every dang thing and expect him to listen to what you say too. No means NO! He’s a spoiled brat it sounds like and it’s gonna get worse and welp y’all taught him this was ok by handing him over and now expects to make his own decisions cause there are no consequences in the home.

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Stop all the buying and giving him everything he wants if you don’t deal with it now just wait til he’s a teenager.Pack up all his toys but maybe 10 then instead of buying new ones switch out with the ones he already has.Give him a chores like picking his toys up or helping with laundry stuff like that.Set rules and consequences and stick to it.You both need to be on the same page about discipline your son sees he can get what he wants and do what he wants from one or both of you.NEVER TALK ABOUT HIM WHEN HE CAN HEAR YOU KIDS GET UPSET AND HE WILL USE AGAINST YOU BOTH.Spanking has been around for centuries there’s a difference between spanking and abuse.Make sure after you spank or give him his consequence that you explain to him why he’s in trouble and what you want him to do instead.If he doesn’t understand then act it out so he can see what he should have done.Hes at the age where they test you with everything to see how far he can get.STOP

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Seems to me, your son is running the house, not the parents. He needs boundaries that are enforced consistently. And he definitely doesn’t need 3-5 toys every weekend. Nothing will be special if he gets for the sake of getting. My opinion.

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A slap on the hand wouldn’t go amiss in some circumstances. If you are out somewhere you can’t do time out or the naughty chair/step so what do you do if he’s running off and likely to run into the road?

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I’m in a similar boat. I have a girl that I think is feral but really she is ridiculously well behaved in the grand scheme of things. I think when you have such a good kid it gets more frustrating when they are naughty as it’s not the norm and we aren’t used to it.
I let her have her tantrums, children’s brains switch off when they start a tantrum so can’t be reasoned with so best thing to do is let the tantrum happen but hug them etc until they are older and learn to self regulate. At the end of the tantrum explain what happened and why you removed them from the situation. My girl now knows to not go into the kitchen when I’m cooking etc unless invited (I let her help prep on occasion). Do not however give in to the tantrums otherwise they learn it helps them to get what they want.
Also redirection helps, instead of saying ‘no you can’t climb on the windowsill’ (my girls habit) I say ‘let’s go somewhere you can climb like your slide, you know you’re not allowed in the windowsill’ and it has helped her know that behaviours are for a time and place. If she starts yelling I whisper and turn down any background noise instead of asking her to be quiet, she soon mimics her surroundings.
Remember a lot of ‘naughtiness’ comes from over stimulation as well (likely with being spoiled unfortunately), not always boredom, tiredness or just misbehaving. I put two third of my girls toys away and then cycled them every couple of days or so. Keeps her interested in the stuff she already owns for longer. I’m a bit of a mean parents and she only gets presents for her birthday/Easter/Christmas unless something special has happened like an award at nursery.
Also both of you need to be on board with the disciplining not fair for just one of you.
Hope you find something that helps soon!

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Start immediately. Do not think he’s too young to discipline. Try different things to see what works. Time outs, spanking, taking away toys. Try them all to see what works.

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I went through a similar thing when my son (9 now) was younger, he was eventually diagnosed with ADHD. I would recommend going to see a paediatrician. And no more buying toys, save toy buying for birthdays, Christmas’s ext.

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He needs to learn that no means no or stop means stop. You don’t say if you’ve tried a naughty corner. You may want to try that next. You may want to take all of his toys away if he misbehaves. You certainly want to limit the toys he has access to at any given time. Sensory overload can lead to poor behavior. You may want to have him play outdoors, if indoors is too overwhelming for you both. You may want to put him in his bed, if he seems tired, or in his room, if he is simply being belligerent with a special toy but not dozens and dozens of toys at once. If you put him in his room or in a corner as a time out, you may have to let him scream and cry it out a few times.

If you do not get on the same page with his discipline with his father, you are going to have a child who hits you, who talks back, and who throws tantrums every place he goes.

Save the toy buying as a treat for a road trip or for when he cleans his room, picks up his clothes, etc. You and your husband have created a hellion who now needs rules and structure. If you to cannot be firm (no yelling , for heaven’s sake), it is time for you all to enlist the help of a professional.

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Give the kid options give them a choice …have house rules that are never broken no matter what. They need to learn cause and effect.

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You guys need to give him a dose of discipline - like a crash course so he gets the message. My son was and has times where he will go back to this stage - he is almost 5.

Daniel Tiger helps us regulate emotions - but also I don’t like spanking either so I make due with what I see work for him. I place him on time out. Standing up - facing wall - hands on hips so he does not fiddle with stuff. He whines or tries to sit and I add on a bit more time. I don’t exaggerate on time either - something small like a minute per year he is - 4 minutes for my little.

With the spoiled Ness I hate to say this nut I threw away his toys . About 2 weeks ago he actually shoved me for the 1st time I was shook. The reason? I asked him to pick up his toys. I wanted to spank him but instead I picked up every toy off the ground while he kicked and screamed and threw a fit. I threw them away outside. Hid them for a full week and let him get a good long look at what it’s like without his fave toys.

He picked up EVERY toy after that - I just gave him back toys yesterday after a long week of yes ma’am no ma’am- it really shook him.

His dad AND my mom told me I was too harsh but I drew the line at shoving me. Sometimes you have to be “mean”

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If you want to spoil your child that is no one else’s decision but your own. There is absolutely nothing wrong with spoiling your child if you can and want to! However you just need to make sure you are enforcing boundaries at an early age. Discipline is very important. Boundaries show love :heart: consequences like time out, removing toys from their possession, no toy shop ect. Kids do not know how to regulate their emotions and we are here to help, guide, teach and show them! My kids are spoilt, but they also know their limits. No means no! They are certainly not perfect but I like to spoil them :heart: they can be very challenging but they are kids at the end of the day!

I agree with the Timeouts in the corner. USE a timer. Stefany Chavez is EXACTLY right. I would take away toys and make him earn them back. No new toys unless they are earned with good behavior. You can’t be nice all the time. Sometimes you have to be stern to get them to take you seriously. Get your husband on the same page with the game plan so he realizes that neither of you will cave in and give in to him.

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Toddlers especially push the limits and tbh without siblings hes probably bored. My son acted out alot too until my bonus children arrived and he wasnt so bored . not saying thats exactly it but he needs limits. He doesnt deserve 4 or 5 toys a week thats absolutely redic. He will never understand rewards or what about Christmas? He wont even care… he gets shit all the time. He needs timeouts and a swat now and then. What works on one child might not the next but you need to go through each different punishments until you find one that works.Spanking isnt abuse. Use it as a last resort if you want but laughing when your telling him no? I would spank him for that especially.

Spankings works wonders. I own a daycare you can definitely tell the unspanked kids from the spanked ones.

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the first mistake is u doing all the discipline because" dad works alot" and then spoils him when he’s with him your child is going to favor the dad …yall need to be on the same page or it ain’t gonna work

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Dont worry if he gets upset when you take things away or put in time out , stick to your guns and he will learn and it will get easier. Only give punishment that you can stick to. Consistency is key .

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Rewarding good behavior is a BIG for me, my son is the same way…spoiled out the wazoo (it’s my fault so I can’t be mad at him) he is also 3 and I KNOW the spoiling has caused him to feel entitled to things or going places he wants to go the second he wants to go to them. He’s starting to try out new methods of tantrums to get what he wants because I’m slowly cutting back on the spoiling to end it. First when he gets physical or extreme I stop engaging I simply say “it makes me really sad when you do ____ I’m going to walk away/stop talking and you can let me know when your ready to be a big boy.” I make sure I can see/hear him to insure he is safe but I let him go until he realizes he won’t get what he wants that way. Then we have a talk (very simple “when you do ___ it is not okay and makes me really sad and hurts) I then give him the option of apologizing or having more time to himself to calm down. And once he had calmed down and apologizes I offer a alternative (why don’t we play with the monster car you got last week or we can build a fort) and let him choose. None of the alternatives are ever the thing he freaked over and never an actual “reward.” On days where he starts with “I want this and that” and I tell him “we can’t right now” or no, and he says okay and let’s it go…I make sure to point out the good behavior and tell him how happy and proud I am of him and maybe offer a sticker or treat if we are at home. When a 3 year old is doing something bad and knows it, and you engage and try to get them to stop and the behavior gets worse/they laugh etc. they are looking for and want the reaction from you. Removing yourself from the situation and disengaging shows them they won’t get that reaction and after time/practice the behavior will get better.

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I sit my 3yo down… I keep sitting h down till he sits. Then literally a minute later I talk to him and let him go.

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First off spoiling him with new toys every week is going to be rough as he gets older and expects it. End that to not have more issues down the road. My in laws learned that the hard way with my son.
Second, every kid is different and certain disciplinary actions work on some not on others. We started off with redirection and form voice. Being consistent everytime no matter where we were. That didn’t work well with either of my kids. Timeouts work great most times but needed to be consistent no matter where we were. My son who is older got his hand smacked for certain behavior and butt smacked for more dangerous or worse behavior and he learned fast after only a few times of those. At 8 he hasn’t needed any of that since he was 5. My daughter has more spirit. Time outs work but she really doesn’t like taps on the butt. So she will always go to timeout now if needed. Both of my kids are well loved and I am told by everyone who meets them how well behaved and respectful they are to everyone. We raise our voices in our house as well but if it has come to that it means we all need a 5 minute cool down in our rooms. A small tap on the butt or hand isn’t bad but you know your kid and testing what works for him is best. O and we have just 1 main time out spot in our house in a corner with minimal distractions. It seems to work knowing it’s just for timeouts.

Say to him,”you will never get another toy or shop with Daddy if act that way. Make him earn points for good behavior to go out with daddy.

Start with quick trips in 7-11 with him to get one thing for YOU, the adult and get him nothing. Then back out to the car quick. Get him used to going in the store and not getting him a toy. Do this over and over for longer periods of time in the store without getting him something until he gets used to not getting something.

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Even God tells us if u spare the rod u spoil the child n u’re not going to kill him if u do spank him. He’s going to get worse the older he gets if u don’t start disciplining him now!

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Wellllppppp I just whooped my 4 yos lil asss for the first time because he was literally laughing at me and making rude and snotty comments and completely defying everything I said. 4 days later and he’s still being nice. Nothing else worked. Good luck. Don’t feel bad. Some kids need a spanking once in a while.

Take toys off him
Do a behavour chart so if he earns stickers he gets a treat and if he doesn’t well he doesn’t
As I had to start all that with my boy from when he was 2 till now he will be 5 in Feb
But is doing great most of the time
It only gets better the earliest you start tbh
As av seen kids with no structure or disapline and now like 10-11 and now run raggid
We’re as other kids who have had dissipline and structure from a young age calm down and you can see a big difference

Also take his fav toys off him or stop giving into him stop the sweets ect too he will soon learn x
Gd luck

Listen to podcast “unruffled by Janet Lansbury. Loooove it and such helpful
Advice!

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3 is the worst age. Terrible 2s is a breeze. But the trying 3s. Man. Good luck momma

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We use time outs. Corner or a time out chair. 1 minute for each year of life. Or we take toys, or TV away, and treats (candy/ice cream etc). Stick to it. It is very frustrating but it get easier. Also never speak/acknowledge him while he is having a tantrum. If you ignore the tantrum he will realize that it is not hurting or making a difference to you and eventually he will calm and them you may approach him and ask him things like do you know what you did to get in trouble, he will answer. You restate what the behavior was that was wrong and ask him what he should have done differently. If he doesn’t know use it as a teaching moment. Then ask him what is he going to do after his punishment. Also never give 2 punishments for one misbehavior, so don’t make him stand in the corner AND take away a toy. One misbehavior = one punishment. He probably is also testing his limits to see how much he can get away with and is learning new emotions. Stick to the punishment and he will learn that his behaviors have consequences and he will keep receiving them until he fixes the behavior

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I’m a full time dad with a 3 y/o and a 1 y/o. My daughter is very cheeky and loves to push my buttons until I am on the verge of being angry. But I just try to remember she’s 3. It’s what 3 year olds do. She gets a time out in her room when she does anything dangerous like push her brother. She gets rewarded when she is kind to him etc. Hitting her would not accomplish anything and she would only behave because she’s afraid, not because she’s learned a lesson.

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Kids go from the terrible twos to the trying threes to the aometimes fearsome fours, but they eventually settle down. Your job is to pretend that you are the adult here, even if you too would like to lay on the floor and kick and scream right along with them. Maintain your cool, stand they little one in the corner if necessary, even if you have to stand behind them, as calmly as you can, to keep them there. Pay attention when they do something good and reward that behavior, a time out or take away treats not both at the same time. It will get better. Also, no matter what they do or say that is naughty, try not laugh!

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Look a pat on the rump it’s ok .it gets their attention

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Listen, swatting a child’s butt isn’t to hurt them. It’s to get their attention. If you’re doing it to hurt them, you’re doing it wrong and with the wrong intentions in the first place. You can’t be mad at your husband punishing your son in the only way he knows how, when you admitted yourself you don’t know how to punish your son at all. And you said yourself it works. It gets your sons attention and he stops. To me it sounds like you care more about what others think and the stigma of swatting your child’s butt than you actually care about effectively parenting your child. I decided a long time ago, I don’t care what others think of my parenting. Every child is different. Some kids swatting works for, some kids it only causes more problems with. The thing with parenting is there is no one way to do it. You find the way that works for your child and you do it. Also, y’all need to become consistent. You and your husband together need to become consistent, with punishments, with gifts, with everything. So there are very clear boundaries and expectations across the board with your son and he knows 100% what to expect all the time. Consistency goes a long way with small children. And you guys aren’t on the same page let alone being consistent across the board. You and your husband need to sit down together and have a long talk and come up with a chart, not for your son, but for yourselves on clear expectations and boundaries to have raising your son.

My 3 year old boy is the same but he gets his butt spanked and he’ll straighten himself up maybe it doesn’t work for you but you’ll have to find what works for y’all since you don’t wanna spank

Dad needs to pull back on buying things. Use that as a reward instead… monster truck for helping out, being good, listening etc. Time outs are perfectly acceptable at this age, but need to be really consistent.
Pretty normal for a kid his age to be a little naughty, they’re pushing boundaries and exploring the world but they don’t stay 3 forever :slight_smile: good luck

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Yes I agree with some and stop buying him so many toys but don’t let people tell you not to spoil your kids. Also this is a 3 years old that is still learning and testing limits. As someone that works with kids, I would say consistency is key. Try getting him play dates, keep him occupied with music time, reading time, quiet time, and instead of No try in the most basic ways to explain why. Don’t make parenting and discipline about you but make it a teacheable moment.

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A slap on the butt every now and then,worked for my mom🤷if you don’t discipline him now the Dept of corrections will later

The dad is not wrong. At 3 years old it is ok to pop their hand or bottom as a shock when they do something wrong or dangerous. I did this to my child until about 4. Since being in school she is now 13 she has never gotten any type of physical discipline because talking to her works. When they are small they don’t always understand what you are telling them or why something is dangerous.

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Every kid is different, and to each his own. Taking things away,or hiding them works for some.

Don’t hit your kids. Redirect them at that age.

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I also believe in spanking. In a controlled disciplined manor. When you know your child understands the word no, there has to be consequences starting then.
It doesn’t have to be spanking but a definite consequence and consistency. Tone of voice is a huge factor. You can’t use the sweet high toned mommy voice when correcting then the second time. Your voice had to be more stern and drop it a little lower. There doesn’t have to be yelling necessarily so long as you’re consistent with your tone changing regarding the correction and consequences to follow.
My kids were corrected by spanking as early as 1 year old, but just one swift pat on the bottom. Usually by the 3rd correction. The routine was something like. Don’t do this or that, in a regular nice tone asking respectfully. The second correction would be in a more stern voice… mommy said don’t (xyz) if I have to tell you again I’m going to have to spank you. Or you’ll be in time out, etc., or whatever consequence you prefer. For the third time I would state the behavior or reason for the spank, let my child process then discuss it in my normal tone again and usually hug. I honestly rarely had to spank them with that process because stating the consequence they usually chose not to go that far.

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Just saying if u do not stop this behavior now it will escalate and get worse as he get a older…

Also have him checked out by his pcp, maybe something else is going on, like adhd or add.

But a small pat on the butt at this age to affirm no is No is perfectly fine imo. And I am totally against whooping or beating ur kids. Never once had to or wanted to beat my kids butt. But as a toddler yes I had to tap her butt or hand a few times to let her know NO means No. Like when she tried to touch the hot stove repeatedly.

Stop getting him everything he wants and tell him why. That only good behavior gets rewarded. Take away toys and stick with it ! You have created this behavior now you need to break it. You have to stop it now or you will really have problems later. It will be hard but stick to it. Also time outs and no TV or electronics if he is into those. Good luck.

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Strict chore list, behavior expectations, homework comes first after school (no exceptions), respect for elders, lots of support and love. Read “Battle Hymn of a Tiger Mother.” It works.

Start practicing time outs!
Since they do not know how time outs work i would start by giving him 3 verbal warnings that if he doesnt listen to mommy or daddy then he will receive a time out on the steps or where ever you like.
Then if he continues, go and sit with him at his time out spot (until he fully understands what his time outs require) and say he needs to sit here for 1 minute.
Every 10 seconds inform him of the time count down from 60. Then at 10 seconds count with him to 10 and make sure he takes a deep breath at the very end and apologizes for whatever wrong he did. Then give him a big hug and tell him you love him at the end of it all(:
Thats what i do with my little girl and its been working out great for us(: we end on a happier note than we started it

If you you don’t want to spank there are gentle parenting groups you can join and find helpful information there that is aligned with your parenting beliefs

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