How do you find the time to make friends?

How does a parent make friends when all you’ve done mostly your whole life was be with your children and do things with your children and when you’re not with them, you feel guilty, but when you with a group of people, you feel uncomfortable. How do I overcome the feeling I have when I go out without my children. I’m so lame. This is getting old. I want friends and friends I can also take my children over as well.

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How do you find the time to make friends?

First never feel guilty for needing a lil time from your kids. Second to make friends I find you need to be comfortable until you become secure with realizing you need that time your always gonna have trouble cause your mind won’t let you relax and interact with adults. I have 2 kids and work full time and being I became a mom at 18 and then again at 28 I’ve always had kids since I’ve been an adult and until I realize I deserve my own time I had the same prob.

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I say just make a post on your personal Facebook page and ask “Any mommas wanna hang out?” I see other moms commenting all the time on them. A lot of them can’t leave their kids at home so they want to have play dates with the kids. Or they just need a break and are looking to go out too.

If you work, try to make friends with workmates. They already know most of your life. Or if your kids are in activities, make friends with the other parents there. You both have kids that have a common age and interest plus you see them at least once a week already.

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How do you find the time to make friends?

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I only make friends because of work. I think maybe look for local online moms groups to join

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Million dollar question. I let my kids have their own friends and I make my own. Very rarely can I tolerate the parents of my kids friends 🤷

Better do it or you will be a lonely old person …I gave my life to my family now they to busy for me.

It’s not lame . It’s who we become and making friends as an adult certainly isn’t easy .

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I’ve become good friends, with parents of my sons friends!

Make friends with other parents? Do your kids have friends? Make an effort to reach out to their parents.

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How do you find the time to make friends?

Look into mom groups in your area. Sometimes mothers like to get together with their children for play dates. This could be an excellent way to make more “mom” friends.

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I found making friends with my children’s friends mother’s easy. Then we all go out sometimes.

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It’s different for everyone. I’m rather outgoing but when it comes to making friends, I’m awkward as hell. I have a small group of friends, and the likelihood of making new friends seems rather slim, as I work from home.
Making friends as an adult is strangly difficult. Our friends in school were our friends because we spent so much time together. Now as adults it takes real effort and we’re all a bit clumsy about it.

I make friends with my kids friends parents. Also my kids play hockey so we often make friends with parents from the team. It’s a lot of fun.

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I’ve found it difficult to make really strong friendships once I became a Mom. I read an article recently about a study on making friends and it clicked for me why it’s so hard for adults. It comes down to how much time we have, of course! Here’s what the study said

  1. It takes students 43 hours and adults 94 hours to turn acquaintances into casual friends.
  2. Students need 57 hours to transition from casual friends to friends. Adults need, on average, 164 hours.
  3. For students, friends became good or best friends after about 119 hours. Adults need an additional 100 hours to make that happen.

So how do you find that amount of time as an adult??? I think common interests besides kids. What are you into? Sports or fitness? Join a sports team like rec softball or kickball, or a gym with regular classes you could attend? Art or crafts? Knitting circles. Even just walking or hiking regularly with the same group. There are Mom groups for everything now so you can connect about being a Mom, but then your common interest can keep you coming back and connecting more. And yes, the guilt about leaving our kids is definitely there, but a happier Mama is a better Mama. You need to invest in the time to make you happy and to build the relationships that will be there after the kids grow up, and them seeing you do that, will help them too.

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Getting 1 or 2 really good friends, if your not comfortable there’s a reason! You need few good ones not a lot ok.

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If you’re an introvert it might be easier to make friends in online affinity groups and then reach out to local people to meet in person. Maybe a neighborhood group like Nextdoor, or a local political campaign, or animal rights or local environmental folks. You can always take kids along for stream and park clean ups, or water testing.

Meet parents at parks and kid-friendly places, like museums, pools, and rec centers. If you can afford to enroll them in classes you can meet other parents—I teach dance to kids 18 months to 7 years and swim classes begin with babies and go to adults. There may be sliding fee schedules or discounts for multiple children. If they’re past toddler age you can drop the kids at class & swim, workout, or take a concurrent class. Check out play places, even Chuck E. Cheese if you can converse over the din.

If you have a religious institution, they are starting to open back up. Even if you don’t want to go to the church services they usually have lots of activities and kid-friendly programs and playgrounds. My Unitarian Church has three different book clubs, a summer Peace Camp fir kids, holiday fun stuff for kids, gardening group, lots of social justice programs, parent programs as well as two sessions of Sunday school and a preschool. There are also ESL classes & conversation groups—little kids have great small vocabularies that are perfect for people learning English, and you might all wind up learning another language too. I think non-Jews can join the Jewish Community Centers in the area also, and they have recreation and other programming.

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How do you find the time to make friends?

Start a mom’s club. I did this many years ago when my kids were toddlers and driving me nuts. I posted a notice in a local health food store and several moms called me back. We met once a week and the mom’s visited while the children played. We met at our homes, local parks, beaches, libraries etc. it was very successful.

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Volunteer for a charity you are interested in. You will meet a Lot of people. Maybe one that is child or family orientated.

Find people with common hobbies. Kids in sports? 4h? Band/choir? Etc. I still have friends from my 4h days that I spend time with. One of which is a 4h advisor in the club my children are in. We show dairy goats and have friends we visit with at shows

Remember this: you don’t need to mix your kids with your friends even if they have kids. Never feel guilty about taking time for yourself as long as you have a dependable good sitter for them enjoy yourself. One day you’re going to find yourself alone at home while your kids are out enjoying themselves without a care in the world about oh has momma eaten, hope she’s OK, I shouldn’t keep her up too late waiting on me, maybe I should call her & let her know I’m ok. Been there. My best friends & I agreed that just because we like each other, don’t mean our kids will like their kids so we’ve never gotten together with them around
My besties & I have 60, 50,40,30,20, yrs of friendship.
Each one is a stage in my life with them.

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