How do you handle grandparents who don't like each other?

Just looking for tips!! How to handle grandparents disliking the other set of grandparents. Especially around the holidays? They dislike each other so much they can’t be in the same room together. My family lives 10 minutes away from me and my husbands family is in a different state. We have run into extreme issues with jealousy with his. Any tips to handle it when your husband is a mommas boy?

4 Likes

Why dont they like each other? Its it just jealously of not being able to see you guys as much?

You don’t
They’re grown adults, can’t change adults unless they want to change.

5 Likes

They are grown adults. If they can’t act like it, then neither of them need to be around. Cut them both off until they can learn to be civil with each other. Your husband needs to back your decision or they will never learn to get along.

This year it will be easy nobody is allowed to hang out together. Hugs. Good
Luck

2 Likes

Sit them all down and have a chat. You can’t find a solution without knowing the problem. They may be grown, but that doesn’t mean y’all can’t help find a solution and your hubby HAS to be on the same page. You can’t make them like each other but they can be respectful! Maybe if they actually got to know each other, they might realize they have a lot in common.

1 Like

I tell the grandparents to get the hell over it and stop acting like children. Tell the husband to be a grown adult and stop acting like a child as well.

It is hell!!!
However in my house if you don’t set it aside for one day like for someone’s birthday then you get told to leave.
It is as simple as that grow up bite your tongue and be civil so it is a nice time for all adults and especially kids.
Drives me insane that people can’t put issue’s aside for a day.
It truly isn’t hard unless someone is miss treating you badly then just smile and leave each other alone :woman_shrugging:

2 Likes

I had to put both sides in their places

Alternate Christmas and New Years with them both. So which ever you spend Christmas with spend New Years with the other, then the next year go to Christmas with the ones you went to New Years and New Years with the ones who you spent Christmas with

Set some rules for both set of grandparents to go by while at ur house, where they have to get along with each other, if either or none likes the rules u set up for them during the holidays especially Christmas give them a warning such as if u can’t follow my rules when during ur stay at my house u r free to go at this moment n same goes for the rest, this is not ur moment of attention, it’s the kid/kids moment of attention rn, if u can’t be civil or understand that then plz leave rn bc u will not ruin this for my babies :speaking_head: make sure both sets of grandparents understand that u have rules n boundaries when they stay at ur house or visit this holiday :two_hearts:

Don’t have to like each other but will show respect. Especially in another’s home and for their children and grandchildren
Period. That’s what I always say and do! Smile, Grin and bear it, politely. Won’t kill a person

2 Likes

They’re grown and will behave how they want. I don’t see what you could do except deal with issues as they come if they’re at your door- BUT if they’re not then ignore it all.

Know that feeling we used to spend half the day with one set and the other half of the day with the others we did it for years now it’s up to them to come to ours if they want if not then oh well we just realised we were making all the effort so if they wanna be babies about bullshit on Christmas then that’s their problem

Plan holidays for one day with one and another for the other.

1 Like

OMG. I am so glad we,all are,so close. Everyone likes each other. It must be hard when they don’t. I wouldn’t know how to handle it. I would make sure,when theycare,around the kids they don’t show this hatred.

Visit one set Christmas eve, other set Christmas day

1 Like

I’d tell them you’re not dealing with drama. If they want to be around you guys, they can handle it somewhere else. Like adults or at least be civil while they’re around you and your household.

Just invite them both, enjoy the holidays and move on.

2 Likes

I cant stand my daughters MIL but when shes around i dont go
To their house.Thank God she lives in another state!!!