Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How do you handle not being able to have more kids? - Mamas Uncut
I had my tubes tied 13 yrs ago, there are time I miss having small ones but now I just like nah I will be a grandma in a couple more years. I donāt miss the crying, poopy diapers, feedings every two hours lol I just miss the baby snuggles
I had a hysterectomy at 25ā¦ Still wish I could have more kids every day of my life. But I love everyoneās kids extra hard, mine extra hard and plan on trying for foster care.
You can always adopt
Enjoy your time. Spend time with friends children or family members. Volunteer with children who may not have a parent in their lives.
Try to see the good in everything. There is adoption. But dont be afraid to reach out for counseling too.
I did child care my whole adult life. Iām retired now, but I was only able to have one child because of being born with only one kidney and that having a birth defect on it that had to be removed when I was 8. I ended up with 1/3 of one kidney. I have āraisedā so many babies though, with doing child care, and I love every single one. Thatās how I got my baby fix and I was able to sleep at night.
Be grateful that you have already have children and not upset that you canāt have MORE. Some people will never have that blessing.
I had a hysterectomy at age 22 I had 2 children that were 14 months apart I was content with 2 healthy children. Just be thankful for the ones you have or maybe think about adopting or fostering a child.
I am perfectly ok with it. I know that i cannot have anymore and i that i was blessed enough to have the 2 i have.
I had my tubes out in October and that didnāt bother me because I knew I could still get medically pregnant. A week ago I had to get a hysterectomy done and I canāt help but to feel sad knowing there will be no more babies. But I know I will now be pain free and it just means I can focus more on the two that I have. Iām blessed to have both a boy and a girl. I think that feeling will never go away. But you could always adopt or foster children to help with that void. 
You accept Gods Will. Whatever He sends is what He wants. He always has His reasons. I had three. Lost one. I am happy with whatever plan He has for me.
Waiting on grandbabies to spoil 
Iām feeling you here mama. I had my only child at 32, Iām now 43, after battling with Endo all my life. My sons father already had 4 older children to a woman previously and didnāt want any more than just 1 with me. As he knew it was important for me to be a mum. We then separated and Iāve spent the last 9yrs being a single mum. I still havenāt come to terms Iāll never be a mum again. Iāve now met a new partner who is 41 and doesnāt have, nor does he want his own kids due to a medical condition in the family. I just always thought Iād give my son a sibling. But unfortunately that wasnāt what the world had planned for me.
Like I have 
just keep being blessed with my nieces and nephews cus I have none of my own and Iām 43 but my siblings kids are mine frfr but yeah itās rough but Iām blessed to be here but hey be blessed with what you have
Be happy u had kids at allā¦some people donāt have that blessing
I hate it. It gets me depressed all the time. The big familyās and family time. I have 1 son he is my heart but he is 26 now and I wish i could of had 2 more. But i almost lost him hung upside down for 32 long days to give birth to him. At 6 mths. 3 lb 3oz. He turned out amazing. So i was in fear of that happening again and losing a baby so i got a partial hysterectomy cuz of misinformation. It sucks nothing can make it better. People can stick that be glad you had 1 stuff up their ___. Cuz that donāt help or change how much it hurts inside. Than you see these horrible mothers with too many kids they donāt take care of makes me sick. I feel for ya cuz i know.
I was 24 when I had my partial. I cried for weeks b/c I always wanted a big family. Afterwhile I realized that itās what God wanted for me and I had to adjust. There are plenty of children who need a good home. Try adoption, foster parenting or foster to adopt.
Stay busy with your kids now and you will be happy that you are able to. I also see how this world is going and wonder why Iād even wanna bring more children in this world. I am also just waiting for my kids to have kids and be that grandma! Just be happy with what ya got now! I go back and forth also and then think of all that comes with babies and thenā¦ I think naaaa Iām good!
Iām sure you already know your options adopt , surrogacy etc .
I say if you able to .
Try traveling. Go see the world , bring your kids . Itās an amazing opportunity not all parents can give there own . As for your friends. Love their babies as your own . you can always share the experience with them . Give advice and be their when there partner canāt . They willing l also need a babysitter 
I just love the babies I have. My oldest girls are 18, my son is 13 and my youngest daughter is 8. We got to meet our 3 month old nephew for the first time yesterday and it made my ovaries cry. Iād love to have another baby, but then I think about how I enjoy sleeping all night, not changing diapers and about how weāre 10 years from our youngest graduating high school, heading off to college and allowing my husband and I to focus on us. As much as i would love another baby, itās not in our plans. I do happily love on family and friends babies though. And I know our home will be filled with baby giggles at some point in the future. Out of 4 kids, weāre bound to have at least a couple grand babies.
My sweetie has never had a chance to be a Dad, wish I could for his sake.
The day I found out I had to have a hyster 10 months after my only son was born I went to my parents house devastated. My younger brother happened to be there and he cannot have kids. Right there I realized just how lucky I was to have been blessed with one beautiful child when other people donāt have that option.
I was very grateful to have my 2 cause I wasnāt supposed to be able to get pregnant but I could have but my hubby got fixed. Be grateful for what you have cause there are some people that canāt have any
I have two boys. One from a previous and one from my now hubby. Our youngest is and will be the ONLY baby my hubby gets thats his biologically. Unless he leaves me lol. But even then itās a super long shot. He was deemed by a doctor that it would be improbable for him to have his own babies ever. I hated my first pregnancy and never wanted to be pregnant again. But there I was. My second pregnancy. Again hating every minute of it. So I promised myself that I would never get pregnant again. Got my tubes done at 25. Iām 32. I have zero regrets. Iāll love my friends kids like my own. Iāll wait for grandbabies. But im definitely happy with never being able to be pregnant again.
I had my hysterectomy after having a miscarriage that the hospital didnāt stop and I almost hemorrhaged to death I think about this all the time I am 43 with an almost 23 year old we just got married and we are old and exhausted we would have loved all of our babies but I donāt have the energy I had at 20
I just love them more!!
All the sweetness without being a zombie
Lots of moms need babysitters
This world is shit anyways.
I work in childcare, in infantsā¦ I get new babies about every 8-9 months and I love each one like theyāre mine and cry when they move up
We live in a tiny 3 bedroom houseā¦ 2 girls and a boyā¦ thatās how I know Iām OK being able to not have anymoreā¦ that and if I wereā¦ I could die
I knew i was done for many reasons but big one is since i was 18 by choice i been rising kids , i knew i didnt want any more after 30 bc 30+ 18 =48 + when i be kid free , i told my husband it now or never i ok w both , he want try for one more we had miscarriage , we agree try one more time , we had our son last yr i got fix i got ask by dr like 5 time i said hell yeah last time , i love my kids , but when they gone on there own i dont have no depending on me ,i want just relax travel maybe , i dont feel lost i feel sign relief , i think if u r feeling lose maybe u truly wasnt done at heart idk how ppl handle when there body stop or medical reasons have to ā¦
I always thought of it as taking the baby bed out and putting the playpin in.
I struggle with this so much. And itās hard because Iām 29 and wish I could have a kid with my boyfriend. It really effects me. Iām so grateful for my two kids but still hard.
You foster adopt work or volunteer in nursery or neo at childrenās or donāt work with children but find you a new hobby or career to really get involved in . It hurts but if thatās how it is accept it and move on maybe even counseling other women in your shoes . As harsh as it seems itās not going away move in help yourself and others or let it destroy your . Get help praying for you . Thereās lot if people and organizations available to help you
I had one kid in 2005. I havent been on birth control since then or gotten pregnant. I just accepted that I was one and done.
As youāre saying " any MORE" kids, it sounds like you have a child/children already. . I was only able go have my Son. Disappointed I canāt have more, but blessed to have my boy. MANY donāt even get to have 1 child.
I had a hysterectomy after my second child. My doctor made sure that I was 100% sure I didnāt want anymore children before preforming it though. Maybe it will help for you to talk to someone.
I wish I could have even 1
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I have two Iām good and old
I just focus on how much easier life gets every day. And with only having my 2, i cherish every step along the way. My alone time with each, the milestones, the amount of money i can spend on spoiling them since theres only the 2. I still get sad knowing i will never have another newborn baby to love on but thats just a decision we made to make sure we were able to give them the world.
Freedom no worries just Waite for grandkids their more fun
I just have my daughter that was emergency c section. I have a split and heart shaped uterus that canāt support any other babies.
What I do is just imagine what it may be like if my daughter some day wants kids. Plenty of time for babies again.
Adoption so many foster kids go through abuse throughout their lifeā¦ you can give love and take care of someone who will need youā:heart:
Hospitals used to allow people to come in to the nursery and hold or feed the babies. Especially those that are orphaned or to be adopted out.
Foster parenting is needed. Lots of kids who need a loving home.
But, I think holding babies helped more than anything.
God bless.
I know that very feeling I got my tubes tied in 2019 during my first c-section with my 7th child who we knew we was gonna lose once he was born due to a chromosome disorder and he was 1/15,000 but our chances of having a second bub with the same condition was 1/100 so we didnāt want to risk it. Everyday I look at my youngest (living) child who is 3 and wish I could have just one more especially lately now sheās toilet trained and stuff
Regular or grief counseling/therapy. Itās a tough thing to deal with. If you lost your legs no one would expect you to just accept it without psychological help.
Then figure out how to get more kids in your life. In addition to the options above, be a Big Sister, soccer coach, hold and rock addicted babies at the hospital, surrogacy, teach Sunday school, babysit, etc.
Befriend single moms who would be grateful for the help. Almost none of my āaunts,ā āunclesā and none of my āgrandchildrenā are blood related (so far), and my kids have a ton of people who, as we say, are ārelated by love.ā My daughter at one point thought she had 3 moms, and one of those women told me her son thought my daughter was his sister. He was the officiant at her wedding and theyāre all still friends.
Or just enjoy the fact that you have more money and time to spend getting to know and share experiences with your little person on a deeper level. Iām an only child and it was great. My two kids on the other hand fought all the time until they got older, so itās not all sunshine and roses.
Also, what if you had a handicapped child requiring intense lifetime care? You would love them but itās exhausting and relentless. Enjoy being semi carefree.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How do you handle not being able to have more kids? - Mamas Uncut
I actually just had my hysterectomy done this year in May. However I had my tubal ligation done in 2012 after my 4th baby. I have a bf of almost 4yrs that has never had a baby ( He claims he doesnāt want to ever have children). I am perfectly ok with not having another baby. 4 is more than enough. Sometimes I do wish I wouldnāt have had my tubal ligation so young. I was only 24. But things happen for a reason and all 4 of my babies are happy and healthy.
Itās hard having that feeling. I also had one in 2018. Talk to someone. Find groups of people who went through the same. Itās ok to let yourself grieve. Sure there is adoption and yes you can love them like your own but it doesnāt replace the actual experience of being pregnant with your own baby. Just remember it doesnāt make you less and it doesnāt stop you from becoming a mom if that is your goal.
I kept having miscarriages. I canāt carry to term anymore. I see women on my page and on my husbandās who are pregnant. It hurts me mentally. After my last miscarriage, I was having thoughts of hurting myself. Itās not easy to be told that you canāt have any more children.
After my third child me and my husband decided that he would get a vasectomy and about 4 months later I was crying uncontrollably that we could not have more children we got over it but I understand how you feel God bless you hope you find the answers that you need for your pain and loss of not having another child
I understand how ya feel. I was with a man for 18 years and after our 2nd baby he wanted me get my tubes tied. Iām now engaged to another man and I wanna nother baby 
I have two children, one thru IVF and one adopted. Where there is a will there is a way. Just because you canāt get pregnant doesnāt mean you canāt have more kids. Adoption, foster and surrogacy are all options.
You can foster and/or adopt!
Iām in a similar boat. HG and pregnancy is just not worth it. Iāve gone through HG 4 times and I only have 2 living children. Itās hell to be throwing 20+ times a day, not eating or drinking for days/weeks and being hospitalized. So, weāre removing the possibility of more kids real soon. But I wanted a 3rd living child. And it really really really sucks. No lie. But one day, the pain of it will ease.
I went through the pain of delivering a stillborn baby, I can handle the pain of no more babies. Thatās how I get through it.
I got my tubes tied in 2005. I know itās not the same but sometimes I get baby fever, really, really bad and then I remember the cholic, the sleepless nights, not being able to eat every day, not being able to walk for 2 weeks after giving birth. The painful bowel movements for 3 weeks after giving birth. Thatās when I snap out of it. lol. Sometimes Iām like ya I want another and other times Iām like hell no!
It was very difficult emotionally; however after 8 years, the opportunity presented itself to adopt via family placement w/ DCS. My younger son will be 9 in Nov. We were each otherās blessing. 
It sucks, I had a miscarriage about 2.5 years agoā¦ we were going to try again but then my husband did not want to anymoreā¦ so he got fixedā¦ I have two boys but always wanted a girlā¦ so seeing little 2 year olds hurt
Any MORE kids, means you already have some. Count the blessing you have, love and cherish them. Be glad you have the one(s) you do. Thats how you get over it.
I feel this, I got my tubal ligation done at 21. I had 3 children and 3 step children. I foster so now I have 7 all the time. You would think I wouldnāt want anymore but my oldest is 7 and I want another baby
Itās a loss. I think you need to deal with grieving of about might have been. I agree with all of the suggestions about fostering children. As an empty nester, when my three adult kids left home I āreplacedā them with three German Shepherds 
I had a hysterectomy at age 25. I had two daughters from two men. Butā¦it was the Biggest mistake ever. I Had it reversed at 28 and had one more child at 30. Thinking back, I was way too young to have that procedure done. 16 years later, my reason for tying my tubes still seems completely valid. But untying them gave me my son. Itās not an easy situation to be in. And mine goes way deeper. All I can say is if you want to tie your tubes, mark the date, then give your self TWO YEARSā¦if nothing has changed, tie them.
Ditto ! I had a hysterectomy at 22 in 2020 and Iām desperate for another baby 
I love my son so much but I would have loved to be able to have more if my health had allowed.
Iām so sorry. I canāt imagine dealing with infertility.
I have been blessed with four children and I wish I could have more, but I cannot afford to. I always say that āif I won the lotteryā, Iād build a big house and adopt some little kids.
I know itās not at all the āsameā, but maybe if you could open your heart to the idea of adopting a child who desperately longs to have a mom and dad, youād realize that this is why you faced the circumstances that you have. Maybe youād experience a whole new level of purpose and motherhood that you would otherwise never understand. I would feel so humbled and blessed if I was given the opportunity and had the financial ability to welcome a child who was just waiting for me to find him. I hope youāll consider it
When you still want my children that deep empty ache is bloody horrible. But you canāt dwell on something that you canāt change, find new purpose, hobbies and distractions.
I personally am going to beg and plead to have my tubes tied after this baby is born, baby number 4. I definitely canāt ever do this again I want to enjoy my kids and get my life back now
I totally relate. I had a hysterectomy 7 years ago. I was 32 and my boys were only 1.5 and 3. I really struggled with the loss of ability to bear more children for a long time but Iāve made my peace with it. My advice is to give it time. You will heal in time. Hang in there, momma. 
I think you just have to let yourself feel the loss and the grief. Honor it and acknowledge it. Feelings are temporary, acknowledge the feeling in the moment and try to allow it to pass. It could resurface again in 5 minutes, 5 days, or 5 months and you just have to keep repeating that process until eventually it comes on less and less.
Had to have a hysterectomy about 17 years ago and I didnāt mind at the time cause I had 3 kids. But 2 years later got with someone younger who only had 2 and wish I couldāve had 1 more with him. But like they say things happen for a reason! But I do have my grandbabies and they call him papa so he lives them just like I do and weāre happy!
It is definitely hard, I had mine in 2005 and I still have sadness about it. It does get easier but the pains still there. Iām 41 now and sometimes it feels like it just happened yesterday.
I have 5 kids and I still feel this. Whatās funny is I donāt completely miss being pregnant cuz it wasnāt easy on me. I just feel like my body isnāt doing what itās supposed to be doing. Like Iām broken or not useful which I know is ridiculous cuz Iāve done my part at repopulating lol but i always said I wanted 10 kids and Iāve thought about adopting or fostering and I probably will foster but Iām afraid it would kill me when they left. Idk itās hard. I feel so bad having 5 kids sometimes like I donāt give them each enough time and financially itās rough but my body aches seeing women I know pregnant and give birth.
I can understand the pain of not being able to create your own, but there are tons of kids that need to be adopted. To just feel loved for once in their lives. I grew up in foster care and wished I had parents who loved me.
Naw, I feel this. I feel like I was not forced but persuaded into getting my tubes tied 7yrs ago, I still sometimes hope I could magically fall pregnant but the hope fadesā¦ I got a small puppy about 3 months ago and he has been full on so I havenāt thought of it as much as I used toā¦
I had a hysterectomy 10 years ago at 29! Im just thankful i got to have my children when i did and that they are healthy and happy
Some of us arenāt able to have any at allā¦ Be thankful for what you do have and cherish it more for having it.
I feel your pain in a way. I had a kid 4 years ago and Iāve been a single mom with no prospects for more children since. I really want another one but at this point I have so many reproductive issues they donāt think I could if I wanted to. I hate not being able to be happy for the women around me having babies because I want that so badly but itās just not in the picture for me.
You can always foster or adopt a child. Iāve gotten my tubes cut and burned after having 3 children. Itās honestly so much work and my depression has gotten alot worse after my youngest was born.
I got my tubes tied and you 2000 did not want anymore kids between my husband and I there was four that was enough sometimes I think wishing I had another one but Iām glad I didnāt but now Iāve got a granddaughter I can spoil sheās my baby
I have pcosā¦ It took me 13yrs of trying to get pregnant. My daughter is 4 and i just had a baby boy at 36yrs oldā¦ I know the feeling of hurt when everyone around you gets pregnant and you cantā¦
Butā¦ Im thankful for the children i was blessed with and put all my effort into being the best mother i can be to them. I never take a moment for granted and cherish everyday with my 2 children i never thought Iād have. So i guess my advice would beā¦ Is just be thankful for the children you haveā¦because some women never get to experience motherhood at all.
I had hysterectomy at the age of 32 years old. I have 3 children but my days of having more was already over. I wanted no more babies at my age.
I remind myself to love the one I have and put all my energy into her.
I had my one and only child and hemorrhaged and ended up having to have a full hysterectomy the same day I gave birth to my daughter. It was very traumatizing. I donāt think Iāll ever stop grieving. I am only 20 years old and I literally have no chance at feeling pregnant again but Iām very very appreciative I was able to experience it once at least. whenever I get upset I just think about the future babie(s) I will adopt along the lines. And I feel lucky to have even had my one baby.
It sounds as though you have children or a child as you stated any more kids. It must be hard but be grateful, some never conceive.
Just saddle up,reverse cowgirl style, and enjoy the ride without any worries
I work with 2year olds all dayā¦ takes care of that baby fever 
Try to get into fostering children!
Itās hard, sometimes. But then I have to stop and think, Girl! Your kids are 12 and 13. Do you REALLY want to start over? And that about cures it. I can always see other babies, and give them back. Itās just what works for me.
My sister is a foster momma & my nephew was a foster baby they adopted. It was hard scary & sometimes heart breaking but so awarding 
I get sad sometimes but then again, my uterus hated me.
We are gonna foster once our kids leave the house (3 more years)
Itās not easy I so bad wanted a nother baby but I ended up with ovarian cancer so I had to have a hysterectomy and I still feel like I was robbed of that. And it still gets to me bad itās only been a couple months and Iām still fighting with the cancer. But things are finally starting to look up for me. But itās just that feeling of not having that choice or the option kills me.
Honestly I cannot relate. I am probably in the very small minority on this page here but I have the exact opposite feelings. I actually have pregnancy/newborn aversion. I had one very difficult pregnancy and one very wonderful pregnancy that resulted in two thankfully healthy and beautiful children. But I have NO desire to have more than two and had my tubes tied. I was relieved and when I see friends or family pregnant, I am genuinely happy for them but relieved it isnāt me. I am enjoying the freedom that comes with having just two and I know many people who are happy with one or none and feel the same as me! Try to look at the positives of having fewer children. More economic freedom, time to pursue passions and travel and able to do more for and with the baby or babies you have! Itās valid and okay to have grief about this though and please seek support groups whether in person or onlineā¦social media is a great place for this, one thing theyāre actually useful for. Lots of healing hugs your way!!
I started collecting dolls.
Just because you cant get pregnant doesnāt mean you cant have kidsā¦adopt. Become a foster parent or work in the community with kidsā¦
Offer to babysit their babies! Iām sure they would like some free time and you could have some baby time.
I had a hysterectomy at 27. Absolutely sucks. But you learn to appreciate the small moments even more.
It makes me more thankful for my girls. Some women donāt get a chance to have even a single child.
Baby fever definitely hits harder when you know you canāt have anymore, just enjoy the cuddles you do get, make a BIG deal about every milestone, take tons of pictures, get IN the pictures too, donāt just take them.
Call your local hospitals and see if they needs baby snugglers- youād be surprised at how many do and if you have a clean record, thereās a good chance you could be one (after covid though because they might not have the program during)
The little moments that go into the whole picture are filled with magic.
And donāt be afraid to seek support in groups or therapy. Thereās no shame in it.
i really thought i wanted one more (a 3rd) right after he was bornā¦but years into it omg I AM SO DONE. The exhaustion, the moneyā¦just think of those. Might make you feel better.
I dont have any good advise just remember there are kids out there that need parents just as much as you could possibly want a baby to love
Havenāt had one yet but I have a lot of issues were I have to have surgery to get pregnant and so Iāve been struggling
Easy peasy.think how much it cost n feeding them n clothing them n schooling them then college n then itās no problem not having no more.easy