You communicate and talk to him about sex, relationships, and also tbe importance of online safety and the realities of porn in the sense that it is not a good example of how sex in relationships works. It is better for it to come from you than him finding outfrom the internet and from friends… Realize that this is normal behavior during puberty. Before phones, men would literally leave porn magazines for pubescent boys to find.
Don’t guilt him for natural feelings, but be understanding. There are many helpful books you can have him read…either together or separately and discuss them.
I’ve been there but I wouldn’t suggest disciplining them for something that’s a natural human thing. He’s going to be curious. Don’t make him think it’s a bad thing for being a human. Just have a talk with him but don’t discipline for it.
Knock for the love of god always knock and don’t ask about the third shower of the day
They deserve some privacy, they’re getting older and more curious, I’ve caught both my 12 year olds doing this and I just sat down and talked with them I didn’t take anything away, it was that time we had the talk, I explained to them what they’re doing is normal and they shouldn’t feel ashamed it’s a part of life, wether you’re ready or not it’s going to happen and that’s something you’ll just have to accept, but to discipline them for something natural
Is wrong in my opinion,
Doesn’t necessarily make him a man, it’s normal he’s curious . The best you can do is teach him to respect women and not to sexualize them to a disrespectful extent. Also have the talk with him a lot of schools don’t teach sex Ed to the extent they need to
How old is he? I mean, it’s pretty normal for teens and preteens to be curious. I think I’d just talk about why it’s inappropriate for their age and explain how what he may watch isn’t anything like “normal” sex.
Ahh the cell phone porn… my son was 9 an searched minecraft strippers… found a video of mincraft “women” with square boobs…
Kids are curious. Talk to them openly an stop punishing them for having normal curiosity
I’ve read every single comment, and as a parent and grandparent that grew up in a home with a good mother, all of the talking and wanting to be clear and honest, not a single young guy wants to associate his mom and the words sex talk in the same sentence. Please please let me explain before you get angry with my comment. In every young males mind , is a person that is not able to divulge every whim and curious thought of the opposite sex,or even their own gender. There are just things that everyone has , no matter how transparent and clear you may seem or appear there is always your most inner thoughts and personality, that not even your very best friend knows. , and that’s perfectly normal. The very best information I can relay to obviously a group of wonderful mothers is this, there are a number of very informative videos that explain sex and everything you need to know, they go into detail about various sexually transmitted diseases and infections. Its narrator speaks and is very convincing. It’s a wonderful method to avoid the awkward moments that may arise. It’s informative and a bit gritty but I can guarantee that it will make him more aware of the dangers out there with unprotected sex, also about the misconception that condoms can stop the exchange of bodily fluids. There was a lot of people that contracted STDs by various means. Have him scared of the ugly truth,
I’ll never understand punishing kids for things that are human nature. I have 2 boys. 15 and 12. We’ve talked at length about making good choices, sex, sexual expression, safe sex, you name it. Its our job to protect and prepare our kids for the future and for the moment.
If he doesn’t look at naked chicks on the internet someone will show him how to find it in mags or books. Just restrict his sites so it’s not porn! This is NORMAL!
It’s normal . Teach them proper education and respect . It’s hard. but it’s normal. The more you restrict it the worse it will become .
It’s pretty normal preteen behavior.
Ehh he just wants to beat off leave him alone
Phone for a kindergartner??
Parental controls on the phone and honest conversations. That’s it. That’s all we can really do. Kids coming of age will be curious, naturally. Talk to them about the changes happening to their bodies (and the bodies of girls the same age) and explain that what they are feeling is normal, but unsafe internet searches can be dangerous.
I told my son (when he was around that age) that if he just wanted to see what boobs looked like, I could show him some safe pictures. He declined But the offer stands. I’d rather show him safe/medical type educational photos of things he’s curious about instead of him seeing some fake p0rn star body and think that’s normal.
I would definitely mention that p@rn is absolutely disgusting. They can be viewing real r@9e victims, s3x trafficked women, etc. it’s normal for hormonal changes, but making p@6n seem normal isn’t the way to go about it.
Same here mine is 14!
What do you expect with blatant inattentiveness
You think this is the first time of him searching in appropriate things? You have a 5 year old access to everything and anything……
It’s a normal thing boys do. Teach him that it is only for himself in his room alone with the door shut. It’s a private thing. I recommend not punishing him, it’ll backfire. All kids do it at some point. How old is he? That will depend on what action should be taken, honestly
This is normal just reinforce that he respects females and that their bodies are not to be objectified. The images he is looking at are real people not just images on his phone
I have two boys that are 15 and 21. I have very honest and blunt conversations about girls and sex with them. I stress the consequences of having sex to early or unprotected. It’s natural curiosity at their age to wonder what a naked women looks like. Don’t make a big deal out of it or he will never come to you when he has real life questions. Set your expectations but make sure he knows your a safe place to go for questions even if it makes you uncomfortable. My boys have told me things I wish they hadn’t but I was glad they came to me anyway.
Just talk with him calmly ! Share s joke. I’ve raised three great men and they each say that what they loved the most.
Be a better mother. Had a phone since kindergarten? What were you doing?
Its the circle of life. Prohibiting things only makes them try and do them more and keep them secret. I’d give him the talk including the importance of birth control til they’re old enough to have children and let him do what he will, hopefully responsibly.
Be open and honest and don’t hide things, don’t shame natural feelings and urges, offer education and reassurance that it’s normal
It’s normal and guess what? Your daughters do it too. It is far from just a boy/guy thing. Punishing completely normal behaviour will 100% make him not come to you about such issues.
Remember when you were a teen up late watching cinemax. Waiting to catch a guys naked butt. And hoped to the Good ol Lord your parents would not catch you?
That is equal to preteens and teenage boys now.
Don’t ever shame. In fact. Definitely have the talk. It’s time. (I have not been here yet with my own son) but i have 4 brothers. Maybe even have a conversation about the tube sock and KY trick. Or shower. Don’t overly think about it. Us moms use shower heads. No different.
its normal and i dont think he should be punished for it…just have a conversation with him about it be open and honest about what your feeling because you just getting upset and taking his phone away is going to make him not want to come to you
I just went threw this with my 11 yr old… yep… and I was calm and said I seen what u looked up on my phone I understand ur body and emotions and curiosity is all changing but at 11 I don’t think thats the best thing … if u wanna talk or have questions I’m here so is ur dad ur step-dad and grandpa if you’d rather have a man to talk to … he was embrassed but I never made him feel bad about it because its a natural and normal curiosity especially during the change in their lives… he ig since talked to dad and step dad and we haven’t had anymore issues … and he only is allowed to play games occasionally and our phones are linked as well… it was hard to have that conversation but I just let it all come out naturally and calm…
It’s normal . Don’t teach him to be ashamed . Depending on his age u may want to add security measures to his phone . But it’s a natural curiosity that boys typically do more than girls . He’s nervous too looking it up but don’t shame/straight up punish him for it.
I think its better to sit and talk about what hes feeling… and that its normal. validate his curiosity, but also tell him the internet is a dangerous place and he cant be doing that. Try to reason with him!
Whether you’re ready or not, it’s happening. I’ve talked about sex etc with my son since he was probably 5 or 6, in an age appropriate way, and its been an ongoing conversation throughout the years. If he has a question, he knows he can come to me and I won’t judge. I did this because I would rather have him get his information from me then having to look online or conversations w friends. But honestly, kids are gonna be curious
If you let your baby have a phone at Kindy, and he’s found the entry to sordid sites that are available…you opened the metal safety gate housing.the lion, by allowing him to have a phone, and explore the internet
I think it’s pretty normal there trying to learn new information all there friends are probably talking about I know all 4 of my boys went through the same thing
Give him a 18 pack of busch light and a can of Copenhagen…not sure why I see these post
Being punished for puberty made me hypersexual.
It’s normal ,just teach him responsibility and consequences.
Taking the phone away will make it where he won’t come talk to you about this stuff. Punishing him won’t do any good.
So he’s a normal straight young man.
Had the same problem … you can put an app on their phone to help try to filter their content as well as require permission to download apps. If it is an Android device it is google family link also I put a password on all other devices and he has to be sitting next to me when he is using them.
Eta I stressed to him there is no shame is looking BUT he is still too young to do so and that 99% of the things on the internet are NOT real life situations either. That is why I control what he accesses not because he is wrong for being curious. I said when you are able to say penis/vagina with out turning red or giggling then we can discuss finding age appropriate materials.
Well clearly this stems from giving a kindergartner a phone. Responsible at 5 years old… really
Following for I am dealing with the same issue with my 14 year old son at this very moment…
Let him explore and learn. Every kid does it…shit, I did it. It’s a personal thing for him and you probably embarrassed him to a big extent. I wouldn’t trust you again if I couldn’t have privacy.
This is why I turned to doing things I shouldn’t have. Because my parents pretended it was wrong to explore myself and so I did things behind their backs. Its normal, treat them as if you didn’t know. A strict parent makes a sneaky kid.
Hes curious. Rather than punish him for it, talk to him and make sure he knows how to treat women and girls with respect. Find a role model for him in a man which you know is a good guy and someone you would like your son to emulate. Make sure he gets the birds and the bees talk and that he gets his answers from YOU instead of his peers.
He might be ‘becoming a man’ but I’ve rarely met an adult.male I would consider mature and grown. Guide him into being one of the great ones and dont give him a complex. Sex isnt dirty, and you dont want to give him issues down the road
That’s what boys do…
Omg really, u can’t stop it
Reading these comments… making me like uh oh what did I get myself into. He’s still young but when he does getting older it’s uh yeah now what do I do.
You need to grasp it and keep running. Talk with him about his body and urges and appropriate times and places for ‘personal time’. I have 3 sons and this is all integrated in how I parent, since forever. I’d rather embarrass them and know they are educated and have the knowledge, than hope they get it somehow and just be their friend.
it’s a part of growing up.
everyone did it, does it, or will do it.
Just remind to him to remain respectful of women no matter what he sees on the internet.
Talk to him about it and educate him, don’t punish him for something completely natural otherwise he’s going to be less likely to open up to you and become more secretive
Depends on his age and what he was looking at. But if you make it a punishment thing it can cause serious harm. He needs to be told what is appropriate, what isn’t, and he needs to understand that the naked body is normal. Whew, I’m glad mine are past that stage. They had me losing my mind.
I don’t think you should punish him for doing anything that’s pretty natural when growing up. Instead why not have a sex talk with him instead of punishing. I get that you’re not ready to let him grow up but he’s going to whether either way. I feel like punishing him it’s just going to make him feel ashamed of what he’s doing.
Take the taboo out of naked pictures. With most stuff at that age it’s only fun if it’s forbidden. Save your battles for the big things.Good Luck
Parental locks and messenger for kids. You can monitor all his activities and cut off any browsers for his phone. Don’t make them feel BAD for being curious but explain it’s not appropriate on an electronic since he is under age.
Also put parental locks in any game systems and computers or tablets.
You stated he is a preteen and if you are uncomfortable then it shouldn’t be allowed from here on out. All of these feelings you are having are valid and confusing. Preteen is a bit young to be seeking out those images or videos. Kudos for checking on his activities because you could have missed this happening.
My kids weren’t allowed a phone until they got jobs and could pay for it themselves
It’s healthy, NORMAL behavior. Mind your business
By accepting the inevitable, the same way your own parents accepted your choices in life.
This is normal teen behavior the more you act weird about it the less likely they are to be open with you if you have found this on the phone you are way overdue to be having several discussions I found short ones to be best about respect for women and for themselves some boys do not realize they can say no to a girl some boys think the women have all the power instead of it being a mutual thing so be sure to tell your son he does not have to do anything he does not feel comfortable with consiqiunces , disease, birth control, how your body may be ready but mentally your not at certain area all need to be discussed I bought mine condoms not as permission to go have fun but so that he knew what size and brand was best before time came as well as how to apply you dnt want them buying a cheap Gas Station one and I also educated him about storage because improperly done can damage.
I raised 2 sons and a nephew. I had the sex talk talked about the responsibility of having a child. They aren’t the mom but there part id just starting. No pregnancies and they were respectful to their women. Take a deep breath and do it. Keep reminding them what their bodies are capable of. Good luck.
Don’t shame him… it’ll only make things worse… You need to have an open and honest conversation with him, whether you’re ready or not, he is. Curiosity is natural and normal, and if you make a big deal out of it you’re setting him up for mental health issues surrounding sex. Take the opportunity to explain what a loving, healthy relationship looks like and how to protect himself and any future partners from pregnancy and disease. Teach him about consent and boundaries and let him know that you’re always there to answer questions or direct him to where to find answers. Taking away his phone was a knee jerk reaction. Use the act of giving it back to him as the opening for your conversation. If you just can’t do it, find someone you and most importantly, he trusts to do it. It’s extremely important not to put this off, if you do, you might find yourself a grandmother much earlier than you’re ready for