I told my husband I’m not happy last week. Today he told me hes not happy. We love eachother still. At least i love him so much. We have 2 kids and have been together for almost 9 and married for 4. Im just lost… We both work, he works way more hours than me. But somehow its always my fault if our kids faces arent clean, the house isnt picked up to his expectations, if theres dishes in the sink, ect. I feel I do suffer from some kind of depression. Its been a very rough several months. I just dont know what to do 
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If you feel as if you are depressed you should seek help from a therapist or some kind of professional. That’s a start to working out your own unhappiness.
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Have him switch places with you…i am the Mom of 6 and I was dumb enough to do it all…and he was always at work!!
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Honestly, my boyfriend is the same way but not that bad now. I explained to him that not everything is going to be perfect and if he wants perfect he better start searching because we have 3 boys close in age and one with autism … my house is not always the cleanest, we have drawings on the walls , dishes in the sink sometimes , toys scattered everywhere but that’s a house with kids 
You clean early and it’ll be dirty by the end of the night … take your time, relax in between , and don’t worry about what he is going to say. My boyfriend understands that now and he’s so much nicer about it
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P.S. I worked also and made more money. Go figure.
Go see a doctor get help if you think you are depressed you probably are and then do what you need to feel good each day you have to be happy for you and your kids and if he’s not happy he needs to work on that and you guys need to compromise with houses hold duties and children if you both work he should have responsibilities at home too
Its easy to throw away thing go get help! You can salvage this
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I think that admitting y’all have problems is the way to start solving them.
I don’t think this is a lost cause relationship.
If you feel you’ve become depressed I’d seek professional help for both of you. As your SO he should be able to comprehend what all you do for yall’s family. It’s not just on you.
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Before you call it quits see a counselor you loved each other its worth the try blessings and good luck
Honestly try counseling or actually sit down and have a heart to heart with each other. My husband and I did and we have been stronger than ever! :]
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You guys need a couple days alone to reconnect.
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There’s always going to be those times in a relationship not to mention a long lasting relationship. How about y’all find happiness again together if you want it to work. Have a date night, fall head over heels again. Even something as simple as taking the kids to the park to play but together. Explain to him about helping you out as well, work together, y’all are a team.
Well am in the same situation… My hubby never seem to appreciete whatever i do and always criticises n cusse me… Bt when my 3 children r happy i dnt care a damn watever he c… Whether my house clean or not dishes nt done…
Go to couples therapy first. Handle your depression with your dr. If you can afford it hire help for deep cleaning twice a month . Sit diwn and plan out your daily task and weekly task dont forget to ad his weekly chores. Like trash, yard, keeping vehicles in working order and gased up, pick up groceries, ( you can irder i line from walmart or Kroger or
sams he can pick up. Working together helps alot. The kids need you to be together you owe it to them to try your very best. Its hard enough these days without having a parent leave the home it takes two parents .
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Tell him to help out a bit more even if he does work he can’t expect everything spick and Span you work and take care of the kids and the home, marriage is a partner ship after all
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Your depression may affect dynamic of marriage. I know my bipolar does this with my partner. Not saying its your fault-but your mood imbalance may be why youre unhappy, as well as your partner, and not the actual marriage.
I’d seek support group or therapy! 
In my home, whoever is off that day or works less is responsible for what needs to be done-load dish washer, laundry, ect. I work less and don’t mind. It balances out. He pretty much does all cooking, hes chef. And does about half laundry. I take care of other stuff. Maybe havr a discussion about dividing responsibilities if you both work, regardless of hours, both should help with house& DEF the children.
Ask him why is it your fault when you work full time as well? It seems he has expectations and doesn’t want to help to fulfill them. An honest and open conversation and shifts in expectations in addition to attempts to reconnect with each other are what’s needed.
Sounds like you need to go see your PCP to start off with. Have a physical and blood work done to begin with and talk with them about your possible depression. More than likely you are and hey, most people now a days are so no biggie. You want the blood work to make sure your not anemic or any physical reason for being tired and blue. Then go from there and let your husband know what is going on. He’s part of the equation and maybe he should get a physical as well. Good luck I hope this may have been a little bit of help.
Go get some help from a counselor not only one for yourself but one for you and your husband it’s ok to ask for help and admitting that you and your husband need help is the first step to start healing;)
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No matter how many hours both work. You both had kids and you both live in that house. If he expects you to do everything. You will continue to be unhappy. He can’t leave all the house and kids chores to you. That will make it fail. Mom’s are tired of being over worked. While a dad can come home and have peace. No both parents deserve peace as well as chores and time with one another spent. Take a day off go out together. Try to have a nice dinner. List a chore chart for everyone. Only time a woman should have to cook, clean, wash, take care of the kids alone and works. She should be alone. That’s not teamwork. As soons as that blame game starts. That’s not love. Love wants to work together. Not give demands. My opinion.
Um you’re his WIFE not the damn maid. Doesn’t matter how many hours he works it’s also his responsibility to care for the kids and house.
Get help before anything gets ruined. It could save you guys
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oh you poor thing stop feeling sorry for yourself and get hed strigh do your work with a smile
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Take a weekend getaway with just you two. Make sure you have time for husband & wife. Just not being mom & dad.
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Read this. If he will both of y’all read it. If not…just you read it. Seriously
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If your children are old enough to do small tasks, have them help you clean up. Make it fun. Put on some kids bop or some Disney music and have a dance party while picking up toys, washing dishes, vacuuming and sweeping. At first I felt bad asking them to help me with “my” chores but we all live here and we all can pitch in to clean the house. Take some time for yourself after they go to bed. Take a hot bath. Read a book. Drink some chamomile tea. Write in a journal just to get things off your chest and rip it up and throw it away after. I know life gets hard but only you two have the power to change your relationship. If he works more then you need to be understanding of his side and he needs to be understanding that you also work but being home with the kids is also a hard job too. Good luck mamma. 
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Go out together consistently and see if things get better, do things you enjoy together, tell him how you feel. You’re just in a rut you can make it work.
Sorry, from a male point of view he’s being an asshole. Omg you have to come home and wash your kids face as a father…get over it. You don’t get to be a father when you play catch, or have bright happy shiny kids. Your also a father when your wife is tired, kids are dirty and the house YOU made is a mess.
Find a good Spirit Filled church and go s a family. Pray.
Date nights deff help…spending time together when u can will help doing something u both like
As the wife and mom it seems like we are responsible for everything and it can be overwhelming. I make it a priority to do things for myself and I have learned to delegate chores. My house is not as neat as it used to be but I am more relaxed and happy
Just do what you are capable of doing in A days time. If he is not happy, don’t let him put the blame an you. You are not responsible for his happiness.
Honey y’all need to find some time for each other. Have a date night set once a week and don’t let nothing break that date. Its a must. Have no money that’s ok. Take walks, go to a park hold hands, swing together. Go somewhere throw down a blanket look at the stars. Go somewhere. Don’t give up. Stick to this. Good Luck. Most of all pray ask God to help you.
Date night once a week needs to be mandatory. You and him - no kids. Make a jar of things you both like doing and each week pick one until you do them all. Then fill it back up. The pressures of work can deff be significantly negative on a relationship and it can be hard to not bring home to a partner or your kids. Talk things out. Be present. Focus on finding your happy together, whatever that may be. It’s going to take time, but remember, it’s worth it.
Omg I couldnt help but cry when I read your post bc I can most defintely relate to your situation! I had PPD pretty bad after having my daughter due to 2 miscarriages prior to her & i could literally feel myself slipping away working & being a mother is far from easy especially when you have a partner/other parent who instead of helping you just constantly points out whats not done compared to what has been done it really ways down on you big time this ik!! My husband thought bc he worked more than me he didnt have to help which is complete BS being in a relationship and having children being parents both people have to put 100% in and do their part!! I cant stand when so e men & women think other wise!! I think to start with you should see you dr. & a counselor & share how you are feeling & whats been going on maybe they can help diagnose & treat you if you do have depression its nothing to be ashamed of alot of people have it! Having a great support system whether family or friends will also defintely help! Also I just really want to thank you for sharing this post bc to be honest not many women are open about situations like this & they really should be bc so many women can relate more than we think to certain situations we may face daily as mothers & its always nice having mothers uplift other mothers! I really hope things start looking up for you hun & you start feeling better! Also ik we dont know eachother but if you ever need anyone to talk to about anything you can message me anytime!