If he really wants to try…my husba.d a d I like to lay there after sex and talk…about anything our days, are daughter are problems. Were always so relaxed afterwards gives it a mellow mood. Perhaps though this relationship needs more. Lay it all on the table hun and you will know your answer.
Sis he is not going to change. You need him to leave. Your kids will miss him but do visitation, I would rather have my kids be upset that me and their dad aren’t together then for them to think that treating your SO like that is acceptable. He says he’ll kill himself to make you feel bad. He sounds like a lazy narcissist, and narcissist don’t kill themselves they just like the power. You need him gone. And you need to focus on you not worry about him.
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Kick him out and don’t allow him to get his things while your children are there. That will prevent the crying and begging. If you truly believe he would try to kill himself, call 911. If he’s doing it for attention, he’ll certainly get it and if not, he’ll get some help. There is no reason for anyone to continue in an unhappy, unhealthy relationship. Children are NOT a reason to stay together. It teaches unhealthy relationship habits and expectations.
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Leave, asap. I can’t believe all the comments telling her to stay. He is obviously a abusive-saying hes going to kill himself is a form of abuse, and not working so she is alrwady doing all the work and supporting herself and kids. Girl, get out of there! You deserve so much better. Contact a lawyer and schedule a consult so you know your options.
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You need to open your eyes,the kids are suffering,you love them,then dont let them grow up thinking this is normal,he wont kill himself,just says that so you stay.please open your eyes
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You’re not helping your kids by staying in an unhappy relationship. Kids are smart they can sense things, you also dont want them growing up thinking how you’re living is a typical relationship. Also children are resilient they will adjust. You can’t stay in an unhappy relationship for the kids. Its not fair to anyone.
He threatens to kill himself…
My ex sent me a picture when I left of him holding a gun to his head (he went out if his way to buy this guy). I felt bad went back to him and the same day the abuse started again. I decided I’d never be able to live how I wanted to live if I didnt leave so I left… been away for 4 years now and he is still alive.
He is a narcissist. You have kids and. Life and need to run before irs too late and your babies dont need to see that shit
Hun,what’s toxic for you is toxic for them whether now or the long run.
I was raised in a situation similar to this for a while growing up and it was horrible to see how my parents were so unhappy.
There is no need for you to be un-happy clearly he does nothing with the children so it wont be that hard of a loss if he isnt around all the time.
I’m sure if yall get a divorce and he becomes a man and you feel it’s safe for your kids to be with him and him not do anything stupid in front of them than they can see him of they want to.
But him telling you he is gonna commit suicide and blame it on you is mental abuse and he needs professional help.
Dont let him drag your family down.
Help your children by getting out of there,they will understand when they are old enough
OMG he doesnt want a wife. He has a maid. Get rid of him for good. Lazy doesnt work tell him he needs to join military and become a man. Your a strong woman. Dont kids see what a lazy loser he is. Get rid of him. So sorry for you but as i said your a strong woman and can do it on your own
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Im sorry but u need a parenting plan NOW!
Make a specific time on court rules he can come over when kids arnt there. You both are tramatizing them when you guys have mix emotions. Going and coming is to much.
U need to either see therapy or push him out. Ur emotionally hurting ur kids going back and forth
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Move on girl. Drop the jerk
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You need to grow a big pair of balls put him out what are you waiting for it seems he does not like you either get him gone put happy back in your soul learn to do this every day with be a new tomorrow make it happy for you sn your kids stop asking for more misery you can do this head up chin up now move forward
This sounds more than just depression. Possibly bipolar. My husband was the same way. Lied about jobs he didnt have and never helped with our son or chores. Eventually he saw a therapist to get diagnosed and we found out hes bipolar. Hes been on medication for almost a year now and has kept the same job and making better choices for a year now since starting therapy and medication. I would push your husband to see a therapist also to see if its more than depression and if medication would help.
Can you bring yourself to have a little holiday on your own away from the husband and kids? Even just a coupe of days? I think it would be good for him to see just how much work it takes to be a wife and mother if he is left in charge for a short time. That may help him to appreciate you more and change the way he is towards you…which in turn will change the way you feel towards him. This is the easiest and kindest option besides sitting him down, looking him in the eyes and telling him calmly how you feel and what he needs to do to make you feel differently. If he threatens suicide again insists he sees a doctor or you will definitely leave him. If none of that works its up to you to decide if you want to live the rest of your life unhappy and unloved. Dont let the kids influence you.
Sounds like my estranged husband. I kicked him to the curb
The moment he used the sucide card, it was toxic.
Let your kids go to a family members house for the weekend and tell him to get his shit.
You’ve had years of proof of what he is, at his full potential.
Your kids deserve to see what love, strength, & self love is.
Honey put your feelings aside, and think about the safety of your kids. He doesn’t sound mentally all there. If says he gonna kill himself call the 911 and ask them for help. For your safety and that of your kids he needs help. The simple fact that he’s making that threat shows he’s truly not stable. Dont wait till it’s to late. Trust me it does not end well.
Need to do what’s best for you and the kids get in housing and assitace
Teach the babies about setting boundaries and how to follow through. Keeping yourself miserable for their happiness is not giving them the tools they need for adulthood. Children are resilient as long as you shower them with love during difficult transitions.
Best thing for all of you is to get rid of him. You deserve to be happy your kids deserve to see what a happy mom looks like. In the long run it will be best for all of you. Don’t let him guilt you into staying especially if he is going to use suicide as his guilt trip. He’s a narcissist if he is pulling that he is a narcissist if he says you are lazy and don’t do anything. Maybe he should take a good look in the mirror and see who the lazy one really is. So many people stay in bad relationships for the sake of the kids I know I did…worst thing I could have done made me into a very depressed person and believe me I didn’t need it. Be strong and move on! Here for support anytime!! Good luck honey!!
It sounds very unhealthy for the whole family. Unhappy parents=unhappy children. But it also sound like maybe your husband is suffering from some type of mental disconnection. Maybe depression? I would suggest some type of intervention medical or therapeutic. Maybe suggest marriage counseling? Wether you plan to stay together or not, you both need to know how to communicate with one another for your children. Prayers to you for guidance into the path you are searching for.
He’s abusive , get out and take ur children with you. He’s worthless.
Take your kid for an outting and tell him to pack his shit and be gone. This guy is narc. This is very unhealthy for you and your kids
It’s not a healthy situation for any of you . It sounds as though he needs some psychological help . If he is clinically depressed or if something else is going on … medicine may help . Try talking to him and his dr .
Hmmmm! You and I sound the exact same
Don’t sacrifice your hapiness because you don’t want to hurt your kids, they will hurt more if you continue with him and they will even feel guilty in a future! My parenta divoece was the best thing that could happen in our family, i love both my parents, but they wwre happiee aftee the seoaration than when they were together!