How do you leave a marriage with kids?

Sounds like you have your cake and want to eat it too :man_dancing:

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How do you leave a marriage with kids? - Mamas Uncut

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When you divorce you go before a judge and you divide stuff. Like their are community assistance that you should look into to get out of that situation. If he is angry and an alcoholic you don’t want your kids to grow up with that. I know from personal experience. I hope you get out of the situation. It will be best for all of you.

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I got 4 kids from prior relationships n he accepted them n we have one on way due mar

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How is the house his ? is the title of the house in his name only ?

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I walked out with kids back in 2014 n filed divorce, I’m in 2nd marriage n it’s amazing how your loved right n treated right vs past

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I was exactly the same as you huni with 3 kids, once I decided to leave there was no going back, I sorted out a rental and claimed social security ( if you are in the UK you can get a loan or grant for home essentials like beds and stuff) I had to give up work for a while but you can get 30 free hrs child care if u want to work . Best thing I ever did! Now with an amazing man who treats my kids like his own … It’s hard to start with but if you want to do it don’t waste any more time being unhappy! Good luck sweetheart Xx

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Reach out to your local domestic violence program. They can help you develop a plan.

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Its really hard to leave the life we know but you have the chance to start over and create a happy life that will last a lifetime. A life your children will be proud of and they will happier too.
I have 4 kids and I am almost 40 and I am renting again but it is mine and I can do this, so can you.

My ex also had anger and alcohol issues and was the main financial provider. It was super hard to leave but necessary and I’m glad I’m finally on the other side of leaving. My advice, knowledge is powerful. Look in your area to see if they have a “SecondSaturday” class. It is for women only to help you have the knowledge to navigate your divorce. It addresses the financial, legal, and emotional sides of divorce. Also look in your area for a DivorceCare group.

If he is abusive leave the house with the kids. If he is not, you have endured being around him this long, so stay in the house a little longer (so that the judge won’t consider you abandoning him/house). It is good leverage. Go ahead and start interviewing some lawyers. (Some charge fees and some offer free consultation sessions…I had stashed aside a little cash that helped me in these cases. Start setting aside a little cash , $10-20 each time you go to the grocery store. I also got my mom to charge the lawyer interview fees on her credit card and then paid her back.) Get names from friends or search on a community Facebook page for your area. People ask for recommendations all the time, so you don’t have to ask just search for other people’s questions and read the responses. All lawyers are not all the same! You want someone that you feel comfortable with. Also someone who is willing to go to court but also knows how to put their ego aside to help you settle in mediation (as long as the settlement is fair).

Change is scary but totally worth it! It is not healthy for you or your kids to stay in an unhappy situation. You don’t want your kids seeing the way their dad treats you as acceptable. You don’t want them to act that way nor do you want them in a similar relationship where they accept being treated that way. You MUST be strong and show your kids STRENGTH to change a bad situation and make it better. You can do this!!!

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Also, call a divorce lawyer for a free consult. They can give you a wealth of information and al of your rights. They have resources as well. Also, can u ho stay with family? Take the kids with you when you leave. I know one lady who left without her kids, and the guy filed that she abandoned them, even though she had gone to a shelter. Well, he turned the kids against her, told folks she was abusing the kids and after she fought for about 3 years, she stopped fighting. To this day, her kids want nothing to do with her. People know how the guy was…. But…. Ijs, find out your rights, resources and information. Programs, etc. Plan, prepare and then make your move.

Not trying to push deception but if he’s a narcissist he deserves it. Secretly put money away until you have enough to get a new place. There are programs that will help you if you look at your local job and family services for child care. That’s not the solution but that’s the start

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It can be scary but if it’s how U say it is , take the plunge . Nothing will change if u don’t try . Go to a friends , hotel , apply for low income apartments secret toy and when accepted move out . Take the kids with you , nothing is considered Wrong until u have parenting time documents .

Do you have family you could go to until you can get back on your feet?

Only take as much as you can

You pack the kids and go . But on most divorces you would get the house

You just do it. I did it after 15 years and had 4 kids, one of them only 4 months old. I had a job and childcare but I let him have my car bc I couldnt afford it, and 6 months after I kicked him out, I had no house bc he let it go to foreclosure without telling me a thing. We agreed he’d pay the mortgage in lieu of child support. Turns out he paid nothing. My aunt gave me her car that she had planned to sell. I moved in with friends in another town for 6 weeks until my parents helped me find a rental closer my kid’s school. Now I’m happily engaged to an amazing man and we’re building our dream home together. It will be hard but it will work out and you’ll wonder why you didnt do it sooner. Lean on friends and family, they will want to help you. First step is getting a job, then get state assistance for childcare. You can do it!

Time to build your nothing to something. Open an account deposit money and don’t bring any evidence home. No bank app no card no deposit slip. Before u know it u will have enough.

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I left a 13 year marriage with 4 kids. Moved us 200 miles away to get out of that toxic environment. It can be done. It wasn’t easy to leave but staying would have been harder.

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Get out. There’s welfare, housing, and food stamps for a reason.

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Leave the children and find your feet…

It’s time men starts worrying about who’ll raise their kids instead of women carrying this burden.

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There is resources so you wouldnt have nothing. Would you want your child in the same type of abusive relationship???

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That’s how bad men trap good women. You’ve got to start somewhere if you’re going to start at all. Start with looking into places that help women/ mother’s leave your type of situation, such as women shelters, domestic violence shelters, then look into subsidized child daycares, how to get a legal speration through the courts, talk to health and welfare about your options in assistance if or when you do decide to leave. Start job hunting. It can be done if it’s meant to be done. The first step is the hardest. After that it’ll fall into place like dominos, at least we’d like to hope in our hearts it will. Good luck!!

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I was in a similar situation 9 years ago. If I could go back again and redo things, I would have stuck it out till taxes came…started slowly packing, saving anything I could and get help with a part time job and sitter ready and slowly do the process the minute taxes come. Half of it is YOUR money no matter! what try and talk to a lawyer too.

Your going to hurt for a little while but truly you will be more happy. Try to work on this time to just be friends and friendly if possible for the kids since he is a good father. You don’t have to be together to still be a family

(read to the end) It is hard but it is possible. When my ex husband left me I was a stay at home mom. Everything was in his name and he paid all the bills. When he left, he stopped paying everything. I quickly got whatever job I could that would pay enough to keep the roof over our heads and food in the table. I took a job in a factory doing quality. The work was hard, long hours in a hot factory on your feet…but I worked my way up to supervisor of an entire building. I eventually went back into banking (my original career field but the divorce ruined my credit so I had to build that back up before going back), met an amazing man who I am now married to. We built a life together and I am so grateful to have him. When you file for divorce they will do an immediate hearing for child support, child care, health insurance, maintenance etc…he can’t just stop paying (although mine did and I should have had him charged with contempt but I didn’t want him to lose his job…he pays child support on time now). There are government assistance programs for childcare, food, housing etc….that’s what these programs are for, to help people build their lives back up after falling on hard times. You can do this. It will be hard but it is SOOOOO worth it in the end.

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I think the ones who are and " were" in situations like yours all say " I can’t do it on my own, YOU CAN, You have to really really want to do it, the 1st thing a woman will say is " he provides for me" house/ car/ food but is that really security? It isnt, your peace of mind and happiness is, I struggled for a long time too, my kids didn’t have any " extras" but let me tell you they were HAPPIER" because I was, im telling you you can do it! You’re just scared to take that 1st step, dig down deep for that strength and GO

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Im sorry but he is not being a great dad if he is throwing things at you and being rude to you. That’s not okay. If you are in Australia you can contact 1800respect

There is domestic violence shelters

Family friend support :heart: is important…

Find a way to leave the narcissist. I did same thing 13 yrs ago. Also i ended up having to take visits away from him as my kids were not safe after all. Their phone/$$ was taken at his house and i wasnt putting up with that. Just my story. I still have mental issues at age 43 from my time with the narcissist. Its really hard to leave tho i know but its better for ur mental health

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I left and had to rely on government assistance. I eventually went to college and my life is infinitely better. It will be hard but so is what you are living with now.

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95% of single moms start at the bottom and work their way up.

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You have to start somewhere.

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State help offers child care in most states and in most divorces the mother gets the house or atleast until children are grown.

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You got this! Faith over fear. Stay strong and move forward for yourself and your children.

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How great of a dad can a true narcissist be? Mine wasn’t. We saw a lot of stuff we shouldn’t have even though it wasn’t directed at us growing up.

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One doesn’t suddenly become a narcissist. So you married him being that way. Did you think he would change. ? Think about your vows? Did you mean them. Did you have exemptions in your vows? Not trying to be mean just making points.

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First, I am so sorry you are having to make such a scary decision, it’s sad and it’s not your fault! Start off with Government assistance, and get you and your Kids away from him! Do Not be ashamed either! You are doing the right thing for you and your Kids!! Call your local government assistance program and they will help you figure out how to get a safe and sufficient home as well as All yours and their needs! :pray::pray::pray:You Totally Got This Momma​:white_heart:

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Call your local domestic violence hotline. Take advantage of all the resources they offer, including a shelter and counseling!!!

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Apply for assistance.
Food stamps and childcare assistance… apply for child support and for full custody… if you aren’t there to abuse… he might start abusing the kids.
Go to a shelter for women and children… They can help you get an apartment and a job . And help you fill out all the paper work you qualify for.
Or ITS YOUR HOUSE TOO. Kick him out

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Call women in crisis. They will help you put a plan in place hun

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Did he purchase the house while you two were married?? If so, it’s still half yours.

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Let him raise the kids and find daycare
While you start your life over and can get a job and are grounded with your own place and such …

Or you can stay raise the kids but in the mean time start planning a job while you have a place start looking for childcare now… you can do this for two years… then you will be more prepared

One, you can can leave and do it. You’d be a single mom. You apply for food stamps, and childcare help get yourself a job and build yourself up… do you not have family to help?

If I were you I would contact your local ywca. They have programs that will help you make your transition. Domestic violence isn’t just him putting his hands on you. So don’t let anyone tell you that mental abuse ( which with a controlling narcissist usually thats their favorite form of abuse) isn’t abuse. Him being a good dad doesn’t give him the right to treat you the way he does and it doesn’t make it ok in any way. And honestly if he were a good dad he wouldn’t treat their mother the way he does. If you have a son, he’s going to think it’s ok to treat women like that and if you have a daughter shes going to think if a man doesn’t treat her like that he doesn’t love her. Its not healthy at all for the children to see any of it. If you don’t have a ywca in your area, look for other domestic violence shelters or programs. Seriously get out before you completely lose yourself.

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Family, friends, and reach out to local organizations for assistance. Apply for housing, and any other assistance you may need. Have all correspondence mailed to a safe place. Get your ducks in a row before you go.

Start by getting a job

I have been in this exact situation. I used to believe that I couldn’t do it on my own because my ex (who happens to be a narcissist as well) would tell me I couldn’t. I believed him. I believed every word he said right down to the words that “I am nothing”. I let this man beat me both emotionally and physically.

One day, I finally had it. I detached myself from him emotionally, and talked to my brother who luckily lives in the same town. He got me out.
So I left my husband. I left the kids with my husband since he was still a good dad (at the time) and he was able to have a roof over the kids’ heads, a vehicle and provide them with their basic needs.
I got a job at a cell phone company. They paid a $9 an hour plus commission.
Within a month I got my own vehicle and then, 3 months I had a place of my own and was able to take my kids back.

It was a small two bedroom apartment, and I had no furniture.
There’s resources you can look into for help. There’s some resources that taken abused women and help them get on the right track, there’s also resources of free furniture and food to help get you started.

Once you can believe that you can do it, you can
I don’t know you and you don’t know me but I will be “praying” for you. :heart:

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Start by making sure you won’t have more kids until you figure yourself out. Try searching for jobs and earn no matter how little.

If he is a good dad … stay for now. Find hobbies or other distractions to get you out of the house so you (and the kids) are there as little as possible. Start planning. Like finding a part time job when the kids are in school so you can start squirrelling away some money for your own place. Don’t forget, he will pay child support when you finally leave so that will also help.
Good luck.

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I was like that and I went to my mom’s and rebuilt. I don’t know if you have that option. A lot of places has a place for this sort of thing. Do some searching.

Was in a very similar situation, thank God I had my family to lean on while getting my feet under me. I got out of active duty military while pregnant- 3months after our son was born I discovered his affair & confronted him. Stayed for 7 months while his attitude got worse, to the point I left. I don’t regret anything.

Was it hard? Hell yeah- I probably cried the entire 6hr drive. Worth it in the end, at least my daily struggles stem from OUTSIDE my home now :heart:

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Married means half.
Make it messy sis.
Video him throwing your shit, call 911 and he’s fucked
Get one of those Home cameras and get cha evidence

In the long run what you need to do is someway consult with a lawyer without him knowing. You’re stuck in a situation that is only going to get worse. Well he might be a great father to your kids, if he’s doing it in front of them he’s not a great father. He is showing them how to miss treat a woman i.e. his wife. He is showing you at her disrespect, and the kids are learning that. It doesn’t matter how much of a great father he is to them if he is doing any of the abuse in front of them then he is abusing them. Talk to a lawyer, get their advice and start working on a way to set things up to prove all that is going on for yourself against your husband. Well he might be the breadwinner, you still have laws in place to protect people. Cover yourself and cover your kids because in the end they are more important than what happens right now. Secure your future, have evidence to back up what you state because he can always deny it. The last thing that you want to do is put your kids against their father it can become a recent situation. You don’t want to get them in the middle of it. So do everything you can to get some kind of proof of what he’s doing without getting your children involved that way. They will be permanently scarred it could be damage that may not be able to be undone.

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Call your counties access like (mines 211) and ask what resources there is for domestic violence.

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How old are the Littles?? If you can wait it out until they go to elementary school, you could work, save money then move out.

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I’m literally in the exact same situation, but I’m dealing with a covert narcissist so everyone around me thinks he’s the greatest, but the kids and I know better. Firstly let me say if he is doing those things he’s not a good father either. Trust me on that. I raised my husband 3 kids as my own and I had a son from a previous relationship and we had one together. Ages 21-7. All of them have issues from this marriage, because I didn’t leave sooner. It took me 14 years. I’ve been staying at home and homeschooling kids ect for the whole relationship. Financially I was terrified to leave and I didn’t want to leave his bio kids with him. He’s very mentally and emotionally abusive. But then I discovered spousal support. After some research found out I could survive off of child and spousal support for a while while figuring out what I’m going to do. What state do you live in? Each state has different rules. I don’t know if they have it in every state, but in some states, it’s Alimony and some states spousal support. I live in indiana. Online you can find child support calculators, and spousal or alimony support calculator, just to get an idea. Also a lot of lawyers do a free consultation. Again probably depends on the state but I know here in indiana we have child care vouchers. You have to apply for them and there’s a wait, like months and months. But once you get it the state helps pay for child care. I know people may have a problem with this, but tough it’s there to help people so as long as your not taking advantage of the system, there’s nothing wrong with it. There’s also housing assistance, food banks, ect. There are resources for a reason. Use them to get out now before you’re destroyed emotionally. I have a long road ahead of me for healing. I’ve been isolated for many years and I feel very awkward even having conversations with people in a store because I feel like I’m doing something wrong. I would get back lash from even spending time with my sister. Forget having friends. I’m 38 and he has taken my whole adult life. But now I’m going to start a whole new chapter. If I can do it you can too! Good luck on your journey and feel free to reach out for support!

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There are loads of organisations that can help you research some in your area and get power and control of your life back

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What about living w family temporarily? Do whatever you have to do

4 years ago, I loaded my 2 little boys, along with our clothes into my mini van and left, I left and never looked back. He abused me in front of my children for the last time. I had no where to go, no one to help me… i was scared, but I knew that a little bit of struggle would be worth it in the long run. We made it through day by day, we stayed in a one bed motel room for over a month, I had some family eventually help us with a place to stay for a little while after that, essentially though- were were homeless. By the grace of god a way was found each time to keep us off the streets. I was working And eventually, I had enough money for my own apt and started all over. Fast forward 4 years, I am happily engaged to a man that treats me and my boys great and we just bought my first house together :heartpulse: Sometimes,
we all must face a little bit of hell before we get to heaven. Theres womens services for abused and battered women with children who can assist you also, legal services to help file divorce for low or no income. Good luck, stay strong and remember what must be done is for the sake of you and your children.
:heartpulse:

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First… Do you have any family near you to lean on? Start a notebook documenting every event of mental or emotional abuse - date and time.
2. Get a po box
3. Apply for a credit card in just your name
4. Start saving money here and there… $40 cash advance at grocery store. Buy gift cards for gas, grocery store, etc.
5. Reach out to your domestic abuse shelter and start communication there.
6. Start getting all your financial documents together… Copies of bank accounts, mortgage, taxes for the last three years, retirement accounts, car payment books.
7. Find the attorney you want to use and what the retainer is.
This is just to start… You can do it. It will be tough but you can.

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I am in the same situation. Trying to find affordable housing for us. He’s a narcissistic and alcoholic as well with anger problems.

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An officer told me that if you’re having a fight and the police come make sure you are holding your kids hand . Not the father’s because legally he can keep her.

Counseling is my best advice!

Maybe start by going to the domestic violence shelter for therapy. That will give u some support emotionally and resources available. I are being abused and they would help u. Also not sure how good of a dad he can be when he is being this way to the kids mom and drinking too much. The domestic violence therapy can often support u for free and keep it quiet that you are attending therapy.

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If he’s treating the mother of his kids badly, then he’s not “a great dad”. You can do it, it’s just a lot of work.

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Start slow by getting a job, put the kids in daycare, start saving as much as you can, apply for low income housing, food stamps, childcare help, and get the hell out of dodge. Your happiness flows through your kids. What they see and hear is how they will treat their significant other, break the cycle momma! You can do it. In a few years you will look back and think, damn, I really did do it♡

Start by getting a job. Or taking a short course or specialty. Anything can be rebuilt. The worst thing you can waste is time especially if you are unhappy. Material possessions can be recuperated. I’m not going to tell you it’ll be easy but it’ll be worth it!

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Get you a job, or go love with a family member. Who cares about the house. Leaving my ex husband was THE BEST decision I could have ever made for my kids and for myself. I am so happy now! You just figure it out as you go mama!

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I would start with the women’s shelter. There are resources that will help you and they can walk you thru the process, including filing for child support. Please stay safe.

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He’s a great dad? Part of being a great dad is setting an example for his kids. Treating the mother of his children and others with respect is being a great dad. There are shelters to help families that have been victims of abuse. Abuse isn’t always just physical. Throwing away your things sounds like he is trying to control you. Call a shelter or a church and find people to help you get on your feet. Things will only get worse. Counseling for both of you may help.

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First of all everything he owns is half yours. So if he owns the house, he could have to sell it snd give you half. Also spousal support and child support are how you get help from him. Just file for divorce before you leave. I’m not going to lie if he’s s true narcissist getting away will be difficult. And he would most likely fight you for custody. Do you have any family that can help you with a stable place to live? As far as daycare is concerned once you file for divorce and/or leave you can get help from the state to help you get back on your feet. Such as food stamps, daycare, Medicaid… etc.

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Not sure what state your in but in NJ if you have kids together you can stay in the house until your youngest is 18, depends on how long together he can be responsible for half the mortgage and child support for each child. Also alimony. Once he leave you would have to find a job. Now a days your chil can go to daycare or school they have childcare help. Hang in there.

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611 or 211 if you are in the states. Luckily my ex left the home and I filed for divorce. I have 3 boys and was a stay at home mom for 16 years. Are the kids in school? Can you live with family? There is help out there. He isn’t a great dad, to be a great dad he needs to respect and love their mom. Stay safe.

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This may sound mean but you just put one foot on front of the other.

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If your done working on it, which it so hard to do with a narcissistic person.
Small savings at a time, it’s what I had to do, save/hide $10 $20 whatever, it takes forever I know but just enough till you have enough to leave.
Remember women shelters are for all women, not just women who are beaten.

Good luck hun. :heartbeat:

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I loaded 3 kids up and left. Its possible you just have to make ways. There are shelters, government housing, government daycares, family can get paid by the state to babysit legit anything you need possible to leave…u just got to want to leave bad enough.

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Sending you hugs. I’ve been there :heartpulse:

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I lost everything and can relate to your pain. I even lost custody of my only child. I now only get him every other weekend. But, DO NOT let this scare you into staying with this asshole. Excuse me, but you are a wonderful human being, a great Mother and have done your best in this doomed marriage. I don’t even know you and I can tell that you’ve given you’re marriage 100 percent ! My husband divorced me and took my child when he was 6 months old. I was out on my ass with very little. My father passed, left me some money, thank God. I bought a mobile home, took him to court and got court-ordered visitation. I am now in the process of taking him back to court to get more time with my son. He’s a narcissist bastard-like your husband. I went through some very tough times, was it worth it ? Of course, I’m much happier now. I am just now starting to date 10 years after the divorce. It was scary - but I did it and I’m proud of that ! As you prepare to leave, open your own bank account, hide some cash. Don’t let the children know what’s going on yet - you’ll have to explain that after you’re gone. This will be hard, expect some backlash.
My ex-husband’s sister had me institutionalized in a mental hospital when my son was 6 months old. When I was signing the divorce papers, I did not have an attorney and signed over my only child. I tell my story to hopefully prevent other Mothers from experiencing the daily pain I experience. I really can’t control anything that happens over anyone’s life, but, I hope you get to a better, more peaceful place. Don’t be afraid, just jump, you’ll be glad you did. :blush::two_hearts::latin_cross:

A great dad doesn’t treat his wife that way. A great dad sets a great example on how to treat your wife and children’s mother.

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As hard as it might be, you should wait a couple of months before making any decisions. Stash money away however possible, (either 20 or 50 here and there, or even pick up an online side gig) enough to get you settled comfortably for a few months. Make sure it’s where he can’t find it or know about it.

But if it has to be soon, fill out an application with public housing. The rent goes by your income. You would of course still have to pay for furniture, bedding, and your electricity and internet, etc and many times you still have to pay a security deposit with it around $600 (here in NY anyway)

My mom told me that you somewhere can file child care costs on your taxes and get compensated for that idk if that’s a thing everywhere or if it even is but worth looking into

Do it anyways … left my narcissist with my 3 kids n nothing but our PERSONAL belongings … pawned a diamond necklace for 75$ and here we are 9 yrs later happier than ever … my boys are now 14, 16, 21 … js . . It can be done … im living proof … it’ll be hard … but it gets better :relieved::smirk::slightly_smiling_face:

I did it with 4 kids I got a job and took control over my life it was tough I struggled for a long time. It was the first time my littles were in daycare. You can do it. Its been 2 years for me legally divorced in March of this year.

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I would rather have nothing than be abused. Take your half of the money and go,because you are married at least in Texas everything is a shared asset . Nothing is worth living like that to me

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Girl, leave !! I have been I your shoes and it was hard, sure. But life is so much better now! I didn’t have a job I had 3 kids, I had to move back in with my parents and ya know what I’d do it all over again! Don’t stay together for the kids. It’s just worse on them. You can do it!

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I was in the same situation. My kids were 6 & 8.

I told him I no longer wanted to be married to him and I meant it. I got a job at my kid’s school so I didn’t need childcare, my family helped me get a small apartment, and I had a friend who was a divorce attorney who helped me file for divorce. She knew I didn’t have any money so she charged me very little and I helped her out in her office.

It was a long, stressful and exhausting process. But I’ve never regretted it. It was the best decision I ever made.

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Honey u have the kids you hold all the cards being female. Yes gonna be very hard but in divorce u cld get the house and everything since you alone take care of the kids if he only does the financial stuff. Do not stay. Ur children are watching and r gonna grow up thinking it’s ok to stay in that type of relationship. U all deserve to be happy. Look into getting a lawyer if u can or a pro bono 1. U can call and get legal advice on the matter. My son was 8 months and I took him and left my ex wanted the car not my son. Good luck to u hun.

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Why don’t you look for a job while living there he has to pay for child care how old are the kids you can work while they’re at school. What’s preventing you from working?

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Hire an attorney and reach out to domestic violence agencies for help

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Honey you are married! All property is comunal property.
Even if the home is in his name it’s half yours.
Start by making a plan. Start sending important papers and mementos to a friend or family member, when you get groceries, take out an extra $20or$40.
Start looking for work. A daycare is a good spot because your kids will get a discount.
Also call the state aid office and tell them you are wanting to leave an abusive situation and get sighed up For day care assistance , housing assistance and anything else that they can help with.

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Apply for assistance, and get the heck out! I know this feeling all to well mamas! But you gotta get away! Go file for assistance temporarily, they’ll help with childcare! If you have family somewhere far away take the kids and go! You need to get as far away from this situation and person as possible! HAVING KIDS WITH SOMEONE IS NOOOTTT A REASON TO STAY!! I’m sorry (actually I’m very NOT sorry for saying this) you need to be in a healthy situation and if that means struggling for a little while you get yourself on your feet, you do that. Sending hugs!

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There are resouces for you! Women’s shelter can help provide you with a few and help set up child support. They can help you figure out daycare while you find a job. And find some low rent housing. And find a good lawyer even one from legal aid. I did legal aid and it went perfectly but it took time. And since your married the house any vehicles those are yours too! Doesn’t matter if they’re just in his name. Yup mybex had 2 vehicles and he sold them and its in my divorce he supposed to pay me half their value. And both were solely in his name. Having children is not a reason to stay, it’s a reason to be strong and show your children that you’re not supposed to treat others this way or be submissive. You are strong! You got this!

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When u grocery shop save all the coupons and bring the receipt back with them the next time and they will give you cash, save anything you can until you have enough.

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The best thing you can do is leave and start over. I had to do it and literally had barely any money. But my life is a billion times better now. It’s definitely worth it. You never lose something without it being replaced by better. Trust me :white_heart:

If you are married you will not walk away empty handed, you need to talk to a lawyer in your area if you can afford it. Other then that look into your states divorce rules.

If you are married and they are yours and his kids, you own half of the house, regardless of who’s name is on it,x

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Call your local woman’s shelter and they will assist you with a plan and some direction. They will know of the various programs you can use to help you.

I mean there’s so much that’s wrong with this. Have you guys paied taxes together for atleast a year? Y’all are married and you’re entitled to his money too. Just take him to court. Sahm can even get spousal support on top of child support. You won’t be left with nothing

I was in your situation before with three kids. I put my kids in daycare and I got a job. Government helped with the cost of daycare.

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