How do you leave a relationship if you can’t financially afford to do it? If you do, you lose your house you own and everything?
Engage and attorney, sell the house and if owned jointly, split the proceeds. And get a better job.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How do you leave a relationship when you cannot afford it?
Trust God he provides and knows what you need
There are options out there.
Not sure where you’re located but welfare. There is always an option. Nobody is made to be left with nothing.
Welfare, domestic shelters,do what’s best for you
Have faith and put your trust into the lord you got this!
You be broke and content you allow yourself to fall behind in bills you get out and you make the repercussions a future you problem … I’m now future me with a job and a happy home with bills that need catching up on but I’m blessed to be safe and happy
I would reach out to your parents or other family members, or even some close friends. You shouldn’t have to feel trapped in a relationship because you can’t afford to move out. I might consider attempting to work things out with your partner, have an honest conversation about your feelings. Or, if you’re past that and nothing can save the relationship, then have an honest conversation about breaking up. Hopefully you don’t have to stay in the relationship and find somewhere to live!
I left my ex with 300$ in my pocket that I had saved to feed myself and put gas in my car. I slept on a friends couch until I was offered a room to rent from family (thankfully) we have two kids together. I kept the car at least. But I would drive over every day he was at work and be with my kids whenever he was working until I secured a space for them. I lived out of my trunk on the bare minimum of supplies. One cup,plate,towel etc. Until I got my feet on the ground. If you want to leave bad enough. You make it work. Leaving a relationship and starting over is hard, staying in a broken relationship is hard. Choose your hard.
I was a stay at home mom in a unhealthy relationship. I had no job minus side jobs I would do with my mom or grandma. No income. It’s going to be a struggle. But I can tell you now. It was soooooo fucking worth it.
I’m there also… been married for 7 years n I’ve been a SAHM for 4 yrs… just found out he took me off the lease! I don’t know what to do
I snuck a little money at a time. It took me a while, but I finally saved $12k. Too bad I had to use all of it for a divorce lawyer, then get help from the county for a short time.
You go and get as many jobs as you can and hustle your ass off. Where there’s a will, there’s a way.
I decided my happiness was more important then money
The type of help you can receive varies depending on your state. It might be a long shot but try dialing 211 to see what resources are available in your area. If there’s no family or friend willing to let you crash while you save up for a new home, maybe find a temporary roommate. Apply for HUD housing. I’ve been there and it isn’t easy, but you can do it.
You just leave look for resources … dont stay because of financial reasons … you leave with your head high and believe and trust god will provide for you …
It was the best thing that ever happened!!! I got to build MY life filled with zero reminders of him. Looking back it was the best thing that ever happened to me because it allowed me to build the exact life that I wanted without any connection to him
If YOU own the house than place an ad seeking a roommate to share the living costs, or ask a friend/relative to move in and split the costs. Once you find someone willing to move in you boot the SO ass out. Ive done it
I don’t know how old you are, but you can join the military
Start over fresh. Unless you are missing limbs or are suffering a terminal disease, go live your life and don’t whine about it.
The end is the beginning is the end.
I was more than okay with starting with nothing again than to live in an unhappy relationship/life. And I’ve never been happier or more stable.
Been there. Had nothing & was homeless with 3 kids. It’s rough but you become better.
I’m in same spot u in
If money were the only reason we’d try to figure out a way to make it work. Sell stuff, get a smaller cheaper home, cut back on unnecessary buys, eat at home, buy more fuel efficient vehicle or have an older vehicle that you can purchase full out so thered be no payments there, look for better jobs, pick up a second shift. Personally I’d give up electricity before I gave up someone I loved over money.
If it’s your house, you sell and downsize. Sell things you don’t need/want anymore OR you find a roommate you can trust to pay rent
If we knew why you want out of the relationship we could give better advice. Is the other person abusive, are there kids how old, are you a stay at home mom, do you work at all, are you safe? Do you own (buying) or rent?
I have a 54 year old friend who is going through this same situation and I am trying to convince her to leave her husband. He has cheated on her with his sons’ mother, possibly several other women. She is battling cancer, and scared to leave because of the almighty dollar. To add to the stress, they both are hoarders, and the three teenage boys aren’t the best behaved or mannered, so I feel like I’m bashing my head against a brick wall with her “I’m going to leave TODAY!” Days later … "Well, I CAN’T because of xyz EXCUSES … " It’s frustrating.
Sometimes we must lose everything and rebuild to find happiness and health. Through support of family, friends or colleagues you will eventually see that your current situation was will never be your destination. Be courageous and bite the bullet or stay either way start by making proactive decisions that will lead to a happier end result for YOU by putting money aside, seeing what options are available to you for financial support, sell things that are no longer purposeful and put the money away to help later. If you don’t have a job, get one independence is key! Wishing you all the best as all that is good will never come easy but you can do it one thing at a time!
Reach out to friends and family start getting $20 cash back here and there and tucking it awayz
Sell some items tuck it away
If you’re married you’re entitled to half of everything
If you’re scared you won’t be able to pay your mortgage after you leave your relationship, you can sell your house and live somewhere smaller/cheaper and build yourself back up.
Don’t let financial issues be the reason why you’re staying where you’re not appreciated nor happy.
There are resources out there to help you if you dont want or can’t get help from friends, family etc. You can always look into your county for help on financial assistance and housing/child care assistance to get you back on your feet.
I was in the same spot. Still kinda am. But I now rent out on my rooms it’s hard to find roommates but it’s worth it for your happiness. I wasn’t happy in mine was horrible.
I’m in this same predicament now… Just try to squirrel money away. If you have kids its impossible to just leave with the clothes on your back or who your leaving will probably get the kids. But if you dont have kids… Just leave leave leave. Idk about your situation but for me if I didnt have a son I would rather live in a tent down by the river. And just start from scratch.
Find a good paying job. Multiple if need be. Simple fix
Three months ago I finally had enough from the mental abuse. I left with my pregnant daughter 2 dogs and a bag of clothes for each of us. Everything in the house belonged to me and he owned both vehicles. I am literally starting from scratch. Home, job, car… best decision I could have made. It can be done. Sending many prayers
I did it with nothing but 3 kids , I didn’t even have a job. Where there a will there’s a way
How would you lose the house? That’s a courts decision if you’re married. All that you can get back. I left with nothing and now have all that back and more!
I walked in that situation, declared myself bankrupt parents went guarantor for rent on my rented place after. Because anything was better than staying. UK.
Everytime I see these posts it makes me want to start some sort of business/group that links people in similar situations… I see so many people stay cause they can’t afford to leave or are scared cause they have no one to help!!
Do you have children? Either way, there’s always shelter’s where I live, there’s 2 women’s centers and a homeless shelter. Honestly, they are awesome! You get your own free room. There’s free washer and dryer, free cable, counseling services free. You get a job, start saving money. Then get your own place as long as you are either working or looking for work. And doing what you need to, to get your own place, there isn’t a specified time you have to be out of there by. They also have programs that if you can prove that you can afford a place on your own after getting a job, they will pay first months rent and security for you! Also program to get you a car! And the places are nice! There’s always options.
You can always afford it trust me especially if you have a house. I’ve survived on my own with no house just fine, you can too. Believe in yourself!
I did it with 3 kids, wasn’t easy but we made it.
I worked thru out the entire marriage so I started planning n budgeting my money. Yes I did lose my house that was paid off cuz had a sell it n split the money with my ex. I also let my new car go back n bought me an old beater so I could save on car insurance. I just quietly lined. all my ducks up. I knew I was leaving. Budget budget n budget. Plan well. It can b done.
It’s hard. I had family help me with a place to stay and childcare (initially) and I had a bachelor’s degree that enabled to me to find a good job within 6 weeks. But I still lost my home (foreclosure), had to get on welfare to get child care voucher, filed bankruptcy, etc. And I also paid a small fortune on an attorney- again- I was very fortunate my family helped me with retainer thru a loan. It’s not easy. But it can be done. If you have no family to help- I’d start squirreling away at least $3k before leaving.
Start doing cash back and also start buying gift cards.
You get a job and throw them out
Well… you decide that’s what it’s worth… and you go
I had to do this years ago and I had 3 small children. For the longest time I only had $40.00 a week for groceries. We were also without living room furniture for about 6 months. Today, we are doing great. If I would’ve stayed I would have been in the same position! If you’re asking this it’s time for you to leave. There is never a right time.
You get a lawyer, sell the house and live within your means!
This is the eternal question and why many STAY.
Everything is replaceable not your life or mental health
The number one “house” you need to protect is the flesh and bone one that your soul lives in, if a relationship has run its coarse and is no linger viable it becomes toxic to you, forget monetary things and protect your inner peace, its all that matters
Better then your self respect and mental health. Once those are gone it gets alot worse. It’ll be hard and down right impossible some days but do it. It’ll be better in the end.
It’s sad that a solution for this is always a shelter. That’s not fair for the mother or the child. I legit moved on with my life. With him in the house. He got so angry that it was enough to have him removed by the police.
I left with my two kids a job a car but no home n we made it.
Hardest but best decision I’ve had to make. You will get through it…may take a long time but it does happen.
It’s a matter of weighing pros & cons, but if the relationship isn’t worth saving, it’s best to leave and start over.
If things are in both your names and you cannot afford payments, get your name off them ASAP. Your credit can recover, your sanity may not if you stay in a miserable relationship.
My ex had let a car I’d cosigned for get repossessed and tanked my credit score. Seriously, credit karma got me from the mid 400s to high 700s in less than 2 years.
Talk to a lawyer. If you can’t afford a lawyer, look for a law clinic (where they normally do sliding scale or pro bono work)
You could also try calling social services and see if there are any programs you qualify for or if they have any contacts or suggestions about where you may be able to get help.
That is the million dollar question. So many people are stuck bc of this. I hope you find a way. Life is too short.
Weigh up the pros and cons. Me and 4 kids left with nothing and we’re still happier. Had to start from scratch. Literally only took clothes x
Start talking to ppl u know or family about stayin there. Im fortunate to have great sisters. Left my partner of 10+ yrs. Staying with my sister going on 2 yrs and loving it.
Get a consultation with a lawyer before anything else to know where you stand
Sometimes u have to be prepared to start over. Left with 2 babies and 100$. My mom took us in and then changed the locks on me. Somehow we made it. This was 20+ years ago. Good luck. If there’s a will there’s a way.
I lost everything except household furnishings I just loaded up and took without warning. Moved myself & 2 kids 100 miles away to my parents house. BEST DAMN THING I EVER DID. Fast forward 18 yrs. happily married & miss not one single bit of what I left behind. But heck I missed none of that after the first year or so after getting my mental health in order. All depends on what’s important to you I suppose
You make a plan. If your given money for food, you coupon clip and cut corners to save and stock pile the savings. You get money from anywhere and everywhere you can. Stockpile it. Make an exit strategy. Stick to it. When you have enough for down payment you move. If you have to sleep on floor for awhile you do it. Walmart has 10$ air mattresses. Then you get job. And support yourself. That’s what I did
First this doesn’t say much are they kids involved how many years together
Start setting aside a little money here and there
Why would you lose your home? Can you not kick the other person out? If it’s an abusive situation then file for a protection order/restraining order that way the offender will be removed from the home.
Leaving a relationship does not change the house ownership. File for divorce and the house will be divided with any other assets.
Make a plan with detailed steps. Start moving things out into a storage unit. Get a part time job, even if it’s a home based sales job and start saving or put $ aside.
Staying is worse, for you and kids (if there are any involved)
Call a shelter or domestic abuse, they might be able to help.
Theres always a way, plus, remember civil court decides who’s is what so you won’t loose everything, you can go after equity in the home, After all you contributed to it. Second, research every avenue you can to separate. Lawyer up get free consultations.
I went thru it and had to start over new but i damn sure did it on my own, your local social services will help you
Can you emotionally afford to stay?
Honestly I’m not trying to be a downer but if you don’t have a job it’ll be REALLY HARD. Even with emotional manipulation a lot of times domestic shelters will take you and your child but besides that with little to no money there aren’t a lot of options sadly.
Well I went back home to moms house but if that isn’t an option I’d consider consulting a family lawyer and if that isn’t a option if you own the house and just your name is on it I’d sell it and downsize to an apartment if possible
Just do it. I’ve done it twice. Lost everything I owned and started from scratch. It’s hard and seems hopeless but it’s definitely possible. Apply for every assistance program you can find in your state even if you think you won’t qualify because if they deny you they will tell you where else you can go. Good luck
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How do you leave a relationship when you cannot afford it?
Sell the house than leave the relationship.
I’m in the exact same position, but 2 weeks ago I made the final decision to leave. I’m 43 and had to ask my mother if I could stay with her. I’ve been on my own since I was 16 so asking for that kind of help was very hard. But of course she said yes and it has been a good 2 weeks so far. I think she likes having me there since her husband my step father passed away 2 yrs ago, she enjoys the company. I’ve been married to him for almost 4 yrs been together for almost 7 and long story short he is not the person I thought he was. And my anxiety and depression was getting out of control to the point I was thinking about suicide. So I made the decision to finally leave. Don’t worry about the financial part as that can be fixed at a later time. What you need to remember is there is only one you. And you matter.
When you have truly had enough, you will find your way. Good luck, sending light your way.
At some point you decide that you are worth more than all that stuff.
I did, 1990. Lost a lot, had to file bankruptcy and start over but here I am, happy with my choices and living a happy life.
I did it… sometimes peace and happiness is worth the struggle. You just rebuild. Best decision i ever made and even though i had a rough couple years i am doing great now. Better than when i was with my ex.
Do you have family that can help you with shelter for a while?
I left my husband in 2010 we had a trailer house that was paid for the land was in my name and my kids were pretty much grown he had two smaller kids so I thought it’d be better for me just to give it to him on that way his kids would have somewhere to live wrong as soon as I signed the papers giving it to him he went and sold it to his brother which I would not want to live back in that area if I had to cuz all of his family lives all around there and I do not like those people or him so I spent the last from 2010 to 2017 no money got a little bit of child support it was owed to me and then it quit one day having trouble keeping food stamps cuz I needed a job cuz I didn’t have no kids I finally found a job in 2012 delivering newspaper making over $2,000 a month but it was 204 in between when I got paid and I could keep gas and everything to do it but I wasn’t getting complaints from anybody that was doing real good August 2013 I’d made me a doctor’s appointment because I’ve been blacking out while I was driving and stuff and I went to my doctor they did blood tests and stuff by that afternoon they called me and said it was an emergency that I get to the hospital because my blood count was only 5.9 between 2013 and 2017 I had eight blood transfusions but then around 2016 I think it was we got a house my daughter-in-law and son and four kids live here with me 2017 the law judge ask his witness was there any job I could do they was told no 4 days later I had my disability they said that was the fastest thing you’ve ever seen so I had money then I got 20,000 back pain I paid $6,000 down on the property so we wouldn’t have to move again and $400 a month till it was paid for well we were homeless at times and everything after we left but we made it through it finally got this house we settled in and was doing good got her and I was working then when I got my disability me and her was splitting the $400 we got 2017 paid 2018 paid 2019 paid 2020 till September paid so I own the property now me and my daughter-in-law since I got that paid off now I have extra money cuz I only get like $800 a month and that’ll pay my cable my phone my lights my water my trash and still have some money left over 2019 though my son was arrested in April and my fiance was arrested the same day my daughter-in-law and kids stayed with me stupid CPS made them leave a few months later and told him to stay away from me because I had to see CPS case a long time ago that was proven to be not a valid thing so I ended up by myself in August 2019 I had a horrible mental health episode in October 2019 spent 14 days in the hospital come out didn’t clean my house for a year like to die when I didn’t clean my house is 18 bags of trash but now I got the house kept up can’t mow the yard so I have to pay somebody to do that moral of the story is it’s hard when you leave somewhere when you have your bill straightened out my son also went to work before he was arrested he went to work in 2018 same place my daughter or I was working well he ended up in January 2019 he was working cuz they make trash bags is what they do and they had the big machines that you had to do stuff well his hand got caught in the machine they had to cut off half of a thumb and half of the finger next to it so he was off work all the way up until he got arrested he got 25 years and my fiance got for life so it’s just horrible trying to start over away from me everybody and especially when you have no family around I’m just so thankful past two years was bad past 10 years was bad but it seems like now I’m getting things done like I’m supposed to be it takes a long time to do this only way to do it though is if you’re going to do it do it and don’t go back to it do everything you can to not go back well sorry to talk so long but I just given an example of what it’s like not everybody’s is going to be like that but that’s how mine was thank you and good luck
Maybe you can rent a room from a friend for awhile? Or a family member? At least there seems to be lots of jobs available now.
I leaned on my family for help. My daughter and i stayed at my moms for awhile. You can do it.
You just leave
Start all over again
Is there abuse? Do you work? If there’s no abuse and you work and just want to leave because you’re unhappy or your SO is cheating then save your money and leave. If there’s no abuse and you have no job get one and save up and leave. If there’s abuse call the cops and have him removed and change the locks and file for divorce or go to social services they will help you.
I’ve left and became homeless and back on my feet,twice. You just gotta think ahead. Have a goal, and go for it. Shit gotta get worse before it gets better. And it WILL get better
In my personal situation, it was my, and my daughter life, or my home and stuff. I packed the car with what I could and left. We got help from family and church and made some friends that help us out alot too. It’s been 2 years this month since we left and were doing better than ever! I work and go to school, my daughter has made new friends, we have a roof over our head and food to eat. I wish you the best of luck and prayers for strength in this!!