I moved in with my boyfriend in June. We each pay half of the rent. We each have a child. I cut down my hours at work to 2 days a week (max 16 hours a week), so I can watch our kids when we have them. I am pregnant again and due in April. We got a roommate a couple of months ago, so we’re paying in thirds now. My question is: would you still be expected to pay half/third of rent when I watch his son on top of mine and take him to and from work?
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Either you’re a team or you’re not. It’s not my money, it’s our money. We both work for the same goal. Why would it matter how the bills get paid?
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Are you a SO or a babysitter?
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charge him for childcare if hes gonna charge for rent!
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Uhhhh what?! 
is he your boyfriend or are you the nanny?
I never understood why “couples” who live together split the bills. 
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You cut 2 days to be with not just your kid but your so kid. I think he should get more of the rent because you are now making less to care for the child.
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3 ways for all the bills. Need income then babysit or get online jobs. You also live there and use utilities. Parenting your kids doesn’t mean you can mooch in my opinion.
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We never really split bills. He’s always made more so he’s covered more of the bills. We both work we just pay the bills with our moneys.
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Sounds like a discussion you should have with your SO rather than a Facebook page.
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I’m so confused as to why people don’t split bills? You both live there?
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Honestly. At first I gave my SO money and after we got engaged I quit giving him money…we bought a house before we got engaged but I explained it this way. I pay my bills, I buy groceries, cook and clean and will be adding more kids to the mix when we get married. He takes care of the rest. We also work together because it’s a family run business so…it’s like as long as each person is doing their part, what does it matter how it’s paid
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Keep splitting the rent. You’re an adult and bills don’t just disappear because you choose to work less. If you’re finding it really hard now, either increase how much you work or sit SO down and talk to him
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We have a joint bank account. All our income gets deposited there and our bills auto-draft from there 
all the bills get paid and it doesnt really matter “who” is paying them
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We don’t split the bills but I have the ones I pay i.e. the mortgage, car and car ins, etc and he pays the others I pay the bigger ones bc I make more but it all works out as longs as the bills get paid and we can feed our kids
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You should what it’s three ways and if you’re babysitting for him you should get paid for it your car don’t run on air and he should pay you for that
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Once my husband and i moved in together there was no “my” money or “his” money. It was our money. We opened a joint account. All of the money that we take in goes directly into that joint account, and all bills that need to be paid come out of that account. What’s left from that is what WE have left to cover any other expenses such as food, medicine, clothing for the household, ect… it’s not his money or my money. It belongs to both of us, and WE make discussions together.
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Are you in a relationship or roommates? This kind of thing is mindboggling to me. We rise together or we sink together. Bill’s get paid and groceries get bought and no one tallies it up at the end of the month and says I paid more than my share. Our success, our money, our Bill’s, our kids.
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First off those are now all of your kids. You don’t charge your boyfriend for babysitting especially since your pregnant with his child. If you need extra help ask.
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Make him pay childcare and gas if you are made to take him back and forth to work
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We have one account that we both put into. Doesn’t matter about splitting in half. Your a couple just pay the bills damm be a man dude
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Not to be rude what kind of a man has his gf o wife pay half he should be the one supporting you all if i live with my hubby o bf n i had to pay half i might has live bymyself and be able to do what i want n not worry about a man
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Well all I can tell you if you are pregnant with his child and you are worried about splitting bills he is not a real man my boyfriend pays all the bills and rent so I can stay at home and I babysit for extra money for the home so in my opinion go get you a real man so you don’t have to worry about ‘ splitting bills’ since you stay home and take care of the children
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I buy food, diapers, wipes, toiletries, laundry detergent. I also pay for the t.v. Streaming apps and part of the WiFi and I care for our kids all day plus work 15-20 hours a week. He pays the big bills because he works more hours and makes more an hour then I do.
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My man pays rent, and the bigger bill’s. I pay utilities, and my phone bill if I have money at the end of the utility Bill’s, we both buy food, diapers, pull ups, and wipes for the kids. If either of us needs a little help with a bill or what not we help the other.
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Honestly if its his child and you’re in a relationship the money situation should be looked at whatever income you have it belongs to both of you so splitting the bills and rent seems pointless. The roommate pays the third and you two figure out your finances together.
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Get a joint account. Problem solved. 
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You’re together or not.
Share income and bills as well as kids.
If you split stuff down the middle then that’s what will happen to your relationship.
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There’s no mine/his. Money is put together and bills are paid from there.
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Ya’ll are having a baby together your share and my share pretty much go out the window at that point. At least it did for us.
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I think she’s talking about the roommates kid and driving the roommate to work, not her bf.
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My boyfriend and I always had one of us pay rent and the other pay bills. Whoever was making less paid the utilities and what not and both us split paying the other stuff. But we kept all our money in one bank account anyway. So his money is mine and mine is his. It’s all semantics really if you’re sharing money and living together anyway. We stopped tallying up who paid what after the first few months of living together.
Write out a budget. Honestly show all wages earned by each household member. Take what is needed to pay each and every bill. Nobody should pay a larger percentage than anyone else, but nobody should be lying and hiding money.
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I’m very surprised this is a thing still for some but in my opinion if yall are together it’s yalls money not his or yours. Ya’ll are supposed to be a team so yall combine the money. Why charge him for watching his kid while you’re there anyways?
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Sure!
Break down your time and bill it.
If you were at work you would have to pay for x.
Bring it to attention that way and have a conversation about it.
Communicate.
I will never understand why “couples who live together” split bills? When you become a couple isn’t it both of yalls money? Hubby and I put “OUR” checks together and consider it OUR money. Its not his money or my money.
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No! Is he paying you to watch his child? You cut down your hours to save both of you money. He should pay you for watching his child or help with “your” portion of the bills.
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The only thing I can really say to this is good luck, because you’re going to need it. There’s no way I’d be moving in with a boyfriend still referring to it as his kid, my kid and so on. Nothing about this is the right way at all. It sounds like you’re moving way too fast and haven’t gotten a thing figured out yet. I suggest taking a step back and getting some priorities in line before even thinking about these bills.
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My boyfriend and I both put our money in one account I pay all the bills and put some in savings what is left we both get what we need and call it good… btw I am the breadwinner in our house I also do all the household work and kids… and he gets just as much access to our money as I do and when he was working it was the same… we are a team and that’s how every relationship should be viewed.
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This really sounds like you need to take a step back and look at your relationship and have a long conversation. To me, this isn’t normal. You guys should not be even looking at the fact of what the other is paying. If you are together, you should just make sure the bills are paid and whatever is left, do what you want with it after your kids and bills are taken care of. This is crazy to me.
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Ok… so this made my headache hurt 
When me and my boyfriend got together, he knew I had 2 kids. Upfront, he knew that WE are a package deal… if he couldn’t handle that, then he could move along. Now, we have been together for some years and even lost a child during our pregnancy. Since we are now considered ONE as it is US, it becomes OUR bills. If you are living together and that man has been all through you to create another human being,it is NOW y’alls bills TOGETHER since you BOTH have children involved. I’m so glad to have a good man. If I don’t have enough to pay something, he covers it as I try to be independent and there’s just some months I don’t make it but that’s okay as WE will get through it TOGETHER… I just don’t understand this type of relationship 
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Ummmm we are not married. Have a joint checking account that both our checks go into… we pay Bill’s and whatever is left we use accordingly…if he needs to make a larger than average purchase he asks me how much money we have and if I need it for something or if it’s ok if he uses it
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So from what i see … you guys paid everything 50/50 before the roommate moved in…
I think the answer to the question youre actually asking is do you split them now 50-50 with the roommate or charge them 1 third … and i would say …split it thirds as its still 2 of you and just one of them…
If you are in a relationship and this is for anyone. You both help with the bills, cleaning, children (even if they arent blood related) its a teamwork, a team effort. Also, you accept the person you accept the child as your own shouldnt be an extra “add on”
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I feel like an oddball. Joint account husband paycheck goes into for all bills, separate account my paycheck goes into I buy whatever I want. This was his decision & I’m 100% happy with it.
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everyone has different dynamics, i’m definitely a mi casa su casa type person to the extreme with my partner (and all those previous) but this is weird. if you guys intend to share a life together why aren’t you sharing money? and children — mine, his, was this just for clarification or do you genuinely view it that way?
having this extremely divided life is not exactly normal, and if it works for you then okay, but it sounds like it isn’t considering you’re asking this question. maybe he just thought this was what he should do and he would be willing to budge on it. but i don’t think it’s sustainable. and no, to answer your question. if you’re taking on extra childcare AND taking him to and from work, on top of working part time, he should not be expecting half from you. if you really wanna split things up he should be paying the bills and you can pay for expenses for the house, car, and kids.
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I mean… you got into a relationship and moved in with a man that had a child.
That child is now both your responsibility in my opinion. If you’re not willing to step UP like that then you should never have stepped IN to a relationship where there was already a child.
Tbh, that goes for you and your partner.
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I believe your boyfriend and you should be combined and going halves with the roommate. You’re losing out on making money so you can watch the children. 16 hours a week is not enough to be splitting everything in thirds, especially given the reason the hours are so little.
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This question gave me a headache lord have mercy the fact that this man is making you split rent and you work less to watch HIS/your kids and pregnant with his child is MIND BOGGLING
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Its always just been ours. My current and I share an account I manage it. He makes way more than I do… so he pays the rent and the car payment. I pay child support on my two older kids and I pay the gas, electric, internet and the luxuries (netflix, hulu ect) and we kinda just pull the rest when its due. I’m the bill payer. I tell when its due and how much it is… I write it on our white board also
Ummm. Tell him to grow a set of balls, kick the roommate out and y’all just work on building a family. Why y’all gotta split bills or worry about who does what. If this is how your relationship gonna go just split now, and wait on the courts to work out who gets the kid and when
Am wondering what will happen once you give birth??
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He should pay for you. You are pregnant, working less than half time and watching both kids !!
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We don’t do 50:50 bills. We have a joint account money goes in it and bills come out of it. I’m a full time student nurse I don’t get paid for that and I work the odd shifts. As for saying about children seems petty that you say you watch his son and yours but basically still pay rent. Don’t get with a man who has a child then. I have four stepchildren wouldn’t dream of treating them different.
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If he wants you to pay half the rent you should start charging him five dollars an hour for babysitting plus extras for meals cooked and cleaning up after him
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I moved in with my partner while I was out of work, he had 4, I had 2, he took us on as his responsibility and pays for us, we now have a baby between us. Whatever money both of us have go into the kitty and is our money. We don’t split bills, we put our money together and take it out of that. Then when we want/need something we talk about it, and see of its left in the budget. I don’t understand this my money your money bollocks when it comes to a relationship - if you were truly dedicated to each other it would be a whats mine is yours.
And no even in your weird way of doing it if you work less, look after the kids, having another to take more time off for and do the house work and all the travelling for both you and him he needs to step up be a man and put a bit more into the pot, your a partner not a slave
Girl you his roommate smh
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I mean you gotta do what you gotta do for your kids. This is why women get stuck in situations that leave them with nothing. You have to put you and your kids first. Which means don’t depend on a man to provide. Provide for yourself. Because if shit goes sideways and you end up having to pay everything with like what 3 kids? What are you gonna do? Find childcare, a reliable family member, childcare center. Maybe work on getting WIC, welfare, get yourself a good paying job and then you won’t have to worry so much about him not paying his share or whatever. But then if he starts saying he can’t pay the rent or his share, then what the fuck you need him for? Kick him to the curb and find someone who will make your life easier not harder. But the way this is told, you are doing it all wrong SiS. No shade just speaking from experience. Men are always gonna fucking disappoint you
do women truly believe that all a man is good for is for providing ? It’s sad women equate a man being a real man by paying the bills . Nasty thought process . Your all broken get some therapy
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So you want a discount for watching his kid? Your supposed to be a family.This really should’ve been talked about before you two moved in with each other. And why doesn’t he take himself to work? Maybe you guys should work different shifts. So you both can work full time.
Umm you’re doing more at home so he can work so he needs to pick up more of your share. If he wants it split 50/50 then that means he does half the work at home too. It’s either you go back to full time work and he does more at home or he pays your share. When my bf moved in with me I was working full time but now I stay home and take care of our child and all the house stuff and he makes the money. It’s still 50/50 cause I’m doing my share of the work, we are a team and it works really well. I have my responsibility’s and he has his.
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If yous are a family, why are you expecting him to pay you more for watching “his kid” on top of yours? Thats your stepson. And I’d say budget together. You still sound like you both are on separate teams when you’re supposed to be together in it. My man pays the mortgage etc. and I help with smaller bills and buy food and stuff for the house. We have our separate paychecks but we consider it our money and work together to make it work.
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Start billing him for childcare and gas/ mileage
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My SO and I have been together 7 years. I’m pregnant with our second child together. The way we have always done it- he pays rent and I pay other bills. We both pay for food. We have separate accounts but we still view it as being ours- “same family, same pocket”.
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Talk to him about it.
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I’m very surprised by this whole feed… we as women want to be treated equal to men but when it comes down to it why does it ALL fall onto men? Do I think they should split it 50/50? No since she cut back hours to save on cost of childcare… why would he pay her rather than pay someone else? I don’t believe couples have to have a joint account to make it work. You can still have separate accounts and talk about who pays what… my SO and I both have separate accounts because we make our own money… does it mean that if the other person needs money that because it’s my money I don’t share? No if I have it I’ll give it. My so does pay more than me because he makes a lot more than me… I don’t think we should feel entitled to have all these rights but only men can provide. So for this case I feel she shouldn’t have to do the 30% of rent since she only works 15 hours a week but she need to contribute in someway not just playing babysitter… I am very curious if she thought saying “his kid” was gonna be more beneficial for her rather than saying “they have two kids” and pregnant with another one.
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10 years together.
He has a separate bank account, but his paycheck goes into my bank account and has for nearly 8 years.
I pay the bills. There is no half of this half of that. Both our incomes go in, and our bills get paid and then whatever is left half goes to savings and the other half we each get to split and do with as we please.
We’ve never argued over money.
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Figure childcare into your expenses. You are cutting your hours to provide a service for not just your child but his as well. You shouldn’t be going broke to save him some money.
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For future put all children in fuLlbtime daycare and go tonwordk every day as long you can before baby arrives. Work sakes rather whole week as long as you can. You never knowS what can happen in working situation with the virus. Come to commitment I pay for this bit readnfuether on very good advise that seems to work very well.
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He makes significantly more than I used to. If we split the bills, he would be secure and I would be broke. I wasn’t about to take that risk. We created three accounts. His, mine, and the household. Each of us put 10% of our income into the household account to cover family expenses. Each of us kept 90% in our own name. The mortgage came out of our shared account. His football tickets came out of his personal account. My girls’ night out came out of my account. Utilities came out of the joint account, etc. The fact that he doesn’t seem to value you and your sacrifices more is concerning. You need to think of yourself and your children more because clearly he is not.
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No, you should not be paying a third of everything. You should be working and building a future together not dividing everything in parts. If you are the main caregiver of “the children” ( not his kids or your kids, but OUR KIDS) and the person responsible for the upkeep of the house then NO you should not have to pay a third of the rent. This is something you should have discussed with your partner before moving in together. If he does not value your contributions of childcare and housework then you can always go back to work full time and you can place all of the children in daycare.
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Everything down the middle we each pay half of everything my spouse has 2 daughters and I have a son we still split everything as I look at his daughters as my daughters and he looks at my son as his son if I cant afford half of somthing such as childcare then he does pay a bit extra as he has more of an income. I do not work at all as im on disibility so i watch the children always and pay my half of rent I dont think he should pay more just because I watch our children
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We don’t split bills. Whomever has the money at the time the bill is due, pays it. It’s our money at the end of the day, just like it’s our home and our bills and our kids. No room for roommates in a home with a full family with kids.
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My wife and I have been together for 14 years.
I make one and a half more than she does.
We split it like this…
From the day she moved in I handed her my bank card and told her as long as the bills are paid, food on the table, we would not have a problem. It has worked just fine.
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I wouldve had you guys pay half and then the room mate pay half. Hear me out…you are doing the roommate a favor especially if their name isnt on the lease and you would be liable. Also both you and your boyfriend should pay the same amount. You are mom. If you cut back work you get the benefit of more time with the kids. BUT if its a financial burden then a good man would help with that. Also…if he agreed for you to drop hours to aid the kids then he really should cover anything you can not bill wise within reason. And thats only when you cant afford it…not if you just want to pay less fpr the sake of paying less.
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I think you should figure what he would pay for childcare and transportation if you weren’t there and deduct that from your share of the rent. But given that you’re having his baby I think he should support you during your maternity leave and or if you go on bedrest.
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If you’re going to live as a married couple, treat it that way. Everything goes together.
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3 people; 3 ways.
The roommate shouldn’t pay half.
So unless your boyfriend agrees to paying 2/3’s ; y’all better keep the 1/3 thing going…
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I was paid once a month so I made the house and car payment, and child care. Hubby paid the utilities, bought or traded for food.
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If you all are living together and sharing a home it shouldn’t be his and her money. It should be “our” money. Keeping track of his and her money and bills is like point keeping and that kind of relationship never works.
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My husband is shitty with money, One daughter from previous and son together. I have him pay half the rent and i pay half. When i can i pay in advance. I work part time he works full. When i was off i still paid the same. I pay for groceries, gas, fun stuff and always have enough for emergencies and or to cover all bills if need be. He pays internet. Emergencies are usually me. Basically i pay BUT He would has and does give every last penny of when I or we need. We used to split half everything right down middle and argued all the time. Now i handle it all and any money he gives me i put away into MY savings… yes, I said it…i choose to save, he chooses spend his change on cigs, weed, alc and if he runs out he BORROWS money from me. Its weird bit it is what it is.
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We put both our checks in a joint and have a bill budget. I deduct the bill amount from both our checks then split the remainder between the two of us no matter how much one or the other makes. We both equally work hard so we both deserve the same amount of spending money. I add in groceries, savings etc into the budget though.
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My husband and I have our own accounts. We split everything down the middle for the most part, but we do look at the money as ours not his or mine. We know when the other person is going to need help based off of the bills that are going to come out. I list all of our bills on our monthly calendar on the fridge. If one of us ever needs something one of us buys it. He makes about double the amount that I make and I am home with the children more so he can work. It’s rare if we fight about money. I also came into the relationship with 3 Kids from a previous marriage before having a child of our own. He doesn’t look at them as mine, he looks at them as ours. So even when the kids need something he helps with it
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I think that as a couple with kids, any money earned becomes ‘our money’ and you pay for everything out of that.
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I’d have the roommate pay 1/3 of the bills and then you and your boyfriend do the other 2/3, for your 2/3, most likely more of it will come out of his paycheck since he’s working outside of the home and you’re working in the home. For me and my husband, he’s the home maker and I work outside of the home so I take care of all the bills but overall the workload is split.
I have a daughter and he has a son. We have a baby on the way. We both work. OUR money pays OUR bills. We are a team. We don’t split anything. The bills get paid and OUR kids are taken care of. If anyone needs to miss an extra day of work to be home with our kids it’s me. He makes more. It’s what works for us and our family.
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You can’t have a relationship and live together like roommates. There will always be tension.
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When I worked, my husband made more than me so he took the larger bills (mortgage, insurance etc) I paid gas, electric, trash
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In a relationship , in my country the man pays the bills, the woman cleans and cook and look after the kids, children are not separated as his or mine. They become our kids. And if the man has more income he pays a house help.
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When I moved in with my husband back then fiancé he paid rent and hydro I was 5 weeks pregnant my work lade me off because they are stupid so I was on EI tell 37 weeks I took care of food and gas and car payment when baby came he was off work all winter it was hard but it worked I would talk to him tell him that you take care of his kid and the ones you have together and all
I don’t work. Even when I worked 10-12 hours per week with our baby it wasn’t hard half. We just took care of it. No splits or anything.
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If you guys are living together and sharing your home and I believe you both should share the money. If you had to cut down your hours at work for obvious reasons then he should pick up the financial slack. Just my opinion.
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If you can’t afford to be a sahm, you should have kept your hours. Its not fair to anyone else to pay more bc you chose you didn’t want to to work…
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Been with my fiancee now for 8 years… Engaged for 2… We have 2 boys together and a child each from before… I don’t understand the whole splitting bills… His money… My money…it makes no sense. I haven’t worked in exactly 1 year and that was bc we were paying almost 500 a week in childcare… It was just pointless. I’d cry having to leave my babies every day… Then work 45 hours just to pay a daycare to keep them. My man gets paid… Gives me all the money for the bills… I do it all online and he’s clueless lol… And he keeps out money for us each for the week. When I did work he paid most of the big bills(rent etc) and my check was for daycare and gas money. What you’re talking about Sounds like a business plan more than a relationship 💁
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You shouldn’t be paying anything. Your pregnant with his child, watching his other child, if you cook and clean as well, and you cut your hours to do so. Doesn’t sound much like a relationship. More like a roommate. You should be charging for maid services, child care, uber service and gas fees, and child support. 
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Hon…this sounds like your asking about a business relationship. If this is your life partner, these shouldn’t be questions you are asking us. Worrying about who makes more, contributes more or gets more…is not the way to bring another baby into this world.
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Everything thing goes onto one bank account to pay the bills and big stuff from. Then both of us have a small bank account of our own, that we transfer our individual spending money into. It is never ever a lot in our own accounts, it is what is left over once bills are paid, minus money put aside for an emergency, split 50:50. We don’t touch the joint account at all (unless there is an unexpected large bill like a problem with the car, leaking roof etc - our emergency money covers it) but we can do what we like with the money in our own account. Been together 13 years, married for 11 years.
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i think if you’re breaking down and dividing it all up after you’re having a kid together and now willing to do what’s best for the childcare/rent/relationship you got an issue. if you’re home with kids and having one and taking care of that portion of responsibility then it wouldn’t hurt for him to cover half the rent and the roommate cover the other half, although i would never want a roommate in the house with a baby on the way and 2 other children also.
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No u shouldn’t pay a third! And if he expects u to while your pregnant and being a step parent to his kid then this is an early warning sign of a jacked up relationship in the works
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The way I see it is, nothing should be “his” “mine” or we “split the bills” it should be YOURS (ours). You’re having a child together, if you are that serious everything is now shared. He pays the rent, you grab the groceries and/or other utilities. Maybe I’m just “spoiled” but my husband and I never did “mine” or “his” (our kids are literally ours so this could be why) but for the first 2-3years I stayed home with the kids & went to nursing school while he paid our mortgage and all bills, I felt guilty but he didn’t care. Now, I pay for daycare, groceries, clothes etc. and my car payment (and fun stuff). He KNOWS tho I would in a heartbeat help with whatever he needed. I think just a good understanding and knowing that it is no longer split is ok. Again JUST my opinion. Don’t come at me. (Also roommate with 3 kids kind of creeps me out, hoping they are good people)
I would say get a man that can provide for you so you can choose to work or not 🤷
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