How do you tell people you are not comfortable driving?

I would like to ask a question for other Moms that don’t drive. How do you tell people nicely you are not comfortable driving? I’m getting pressure from others to drive drive drive, and I just feel comfortable with driving at all.

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How do you tell people you are not comfortable driving?

I’m almost 30 and I don’t have my license, I have 2u2 and driving will make life a thousand times easier.

Hi…i would just say for medical readons i cant drv…
If you have to lie but im sure if you did you would you wouldnt to go back…its very liberating to be able to go when you want to go…

Personally I think it depends on a few things -
Where are you located… is it easy to access public transportation or do you have to depend on someone else to get you places? Where I am theirs no public transportation other then taxis and they charge more then I’d like to pay :woman_facepalming: ($40 + for a 20 minute drive).
What’s the reasoning for not wanting/being comfortable driving… I’ve been in two accidents in the last 2 years, and I hate driving when I have someone in the vehicle with me.

The point of me saying these things is I think they take part in should you/shouldn’t you drive. As I’ve stated I hate driving, and I have every reason to lol but I still do what I have to. I have my own vehicle, and a full license but I don’t drive unless I have to. I don’t like having to depend on others, and we live in a smaller town so theirs no public busses to have access to.

Just be honest with people. Honestly if they judge they shouldn’t be apart of your village. :blush:

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I have a similar issue I would love to go pass my test and drive but then it scares me to death the fear of being in an accident with my kids or breaking down.
Also my partner drives and he’s always saying I’m a terrible passenger I panic way to much and I’m not even the one driving :see_no_evil:
I know my kids would love it if I was driving we would be able to go more places as partner works away so the only time we get to go fun places is when he’s home :weary: x

I think it would really depend on why people are telling you to drive?

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When someone asks just tell them no🤷🏻‍♀️ you don’t owe anyone an explanation why. I don’t like driving at night so I don’t unless I absolutely need to and if that bothers people that’s THEIR problem, and they can stay bothered

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I’ve never driven. I’ve been a mom for nearly 20 years, and a single mom of 4 kids for over a decade, nobody has ever pressured me to drive BUT I don’t depend on anybody else. My decision to not drive effects only myself and my kids, and my kids don’t mind at all. I’m the one who does the shopping, and errands, and everything else. Why do they care so much about what you are doing, or not doing? Are you asking for rides?

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My son is 28, he doesn’t drive or have his license. As a child he never played with cars of any kind. No video games with driving, just recently he got his permit, now this mama has to try to have the patience to teach her grown son to drive. There’s plenty of people of both sexes that just aren’t comfortable with driving, but as long as he wants to learn, I’m there for him, lots of prayers and nerve pills will get me through this…lol…do you sweetie, if you’re not comfortable behind that wheel don’t do it.

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Very simply “I don’t drive. I’m not comfortable with it.” And if they ask why just repeat the same sentence and look at them as if they’re dumb for not understanding it. Like what’s not to get?
You don’t have to explain a thing really.

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I feel you, I’m about to be 24 and still don’t have my license or know know to drive, AND I have a kid. Don’t ask me how i got away with it this far lol I’m just really lucky and greatful I have family who helps. But I am getting a car soon with my income tax, and I’ve gotta learn how to drive and I’m terrified especially with having my kid in the mix. But I’m a single mom and although I’m greatful my own mother is around to help I cant rely on her forever.

You say…i dont feel comfortable

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I hate driving and everyone knows it. I’ll drive if it’s a necessity & if no one else is available, but it’s extremely uncomfortable for me.

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Is it your family? Maybe they want you to be able to drive your kids to school functions and stuff? I definitely do not enjoy driving especially highways, cities, night driving, etc…. But I feel like it’s kind of an important thing for mom to do. Maybe you could see a therapist for anxiety.

Im 36 and just started driving a year ago to make life easier with 2 kids. I never cared to drive still dont but i knew i needed to for them and that extra little bit of freedom it gave me.
If you have the chance to get your license do it. And just because you have it doesnt mean you have to drive

At this time in my life, I don’t feel comfortable driving. No explanation needed.

Honestly if someone is scared to drive there’s no reason to force the subject to them. Keeps the roads safer anyways keeping people who arent comfotable driving off of them. My sibling is 21 and refuses because of mental health issues and that’s 100% okay.

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I don’t think it’s all that uncommon. I have my license but I don’t like driving. It gets me stressed out, I get anxious/anxiety. My heart races like mad. I try to at least get out every once in a while in the car so I don’t forget how to drive or something, but it’s not something I like to do.

I’d say if you’re not comfortable with it just tell people straight up “I’m not comfortable with driving” and that’s it. I don’t think you need to sugar coat it. It’s usually family that tries to push you even if you’re not comfortable because they want another driver to be able to get things or pick up people. I get that and it’s totally valid. It doesn’t make it any more comfortable though, lol.

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I drove for 30 yrs…I’m to afraid to now…so I dont!!

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I used to be scared of driving as a teen however I got my license at 20 and I’m glad I did my mom was diagnosed with cancer and needed someone to drive her to and from her chemo appointments and I can’t imagine not driving now since I don’t have to depend on no one

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I live out of town no public transportation. I got my license when my little one was 1 and she is about to turn 17, I have 2 other kids and I would love another baby. I can’t ring family up if something is wrong because they work.

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I don’t drive because when I was 16 and about to get my license 6 of my family members were killed by a drunk driver. Totally traumatized me. I’m 35 and still don’t know how to drive.

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I hate driving, like i get anxiety driving. But i also dont have to depend on anyone or wait on anyone. Plus my kids like to go places and im not going to keep them cooped up in the house and depend on someone else.

I didn’t get my driver’s license till I was 32 my dad drove me every where and refused to take me to dmv finally my husband took me when my daughter started school.

I am 24 an i have my license but i absolutely hate driving i will drive my self back an forth 2 work an to the grocery store if i have to but that is it i was in 2 car accidents in a year an one was my fault an if the weather is bad i will not drive you are not alone

I just tell them. I dont drive. Its an anxiety thing. It stresses me out to the point my shoulders hurt when i get to point b. Im 30 and i have a car and a permit. But i never drive. I have finally hit a point in the last yr or 2 where i know i need to start driving. But everyday i see other drivers doing crazy things and every time i say out loud “that’s why i dont drive”

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I’m not a fan of driving, but I would be more scared NOT to drive. That’s my independence. I don’t have the option of people driving me nor do I have public transport as an option. If I didn’t have my license and a car, i would never get to leave my house, like ever.

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I have hydrocephalus (fluid on my brain) it effects my motor skills and reaction time so it is unsafe for me to drive. I’ve gone through multiple drivers courses and they’ve all said it’s not a good idea for me to drive. I’ll be 34 in March. My husband understands and doesn’t have a problem with me not driving. Nor do others when I explain all that. I was born 3 months premature too.

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I didn’t drive until 33 and did it simply for my sons hockey. I was scared shitless for the first year. Now I can imagine not driving. Do what’s best for you not others

Hey so and so… wanna drive to the park?
You… no.thanks, I’m not comfortable driving.
Done.

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If you are afraid to drive, you shouldn’t be on the road :woman_shrugging:. Just tell them no, you owe absolutely no one any kind of explanation :wink:

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I don’t feel you need to explain. You are free not to drive period…

I have ptsd, anxiety with panic attacks ( not from an accident but an abusive ex ) I still only have my g1. I’m 30. I like driving but it terrifies me. I don’t like being around a lot of people, so when there’s a lot of cars around me, I get so nervous. I don’t want to go for my g2 bc then I’ll have to go for my highway test and that makes me incredibly nervous. Especially since here the test they make you do is the skyway and I’m afraid of heights lol.
If you don’t want to drive, don’t.

I used to drive semis all over the country. There’s only one state (Vermont) that I haven’t visited. I love being in control of my ride. The freedom to go when and where I want. And the skills are still there, I could do it if I was comfortable with it. But I’m not anymore. I don’t feel comfortable driving my own personal vehicle these days. In my lifetime, I’ve only received one moving violation. That was in NJ, which barely counts, lol. But like Clint Eastwood’s line in Magnum Force, “A man’s [woman’s] got to know his/her limitations.”

If you don’t want to drive that is fine but are they pressuring you to learn to drive because you a constantly asking for multiple rides and not finding other ways like the bus, cab, uber or walking. I had a friend who always asked for rides here and there at least 4-5 times a week. If you are you need to find other ways so people don’t push you to drive

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I was 30 when I finally got my license. Best decision ever. It will be very nerve wrecking at first. I had so much anxiety about it, but eventually I became comfortable with driving.

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Just ask them if they would like to be the one that you run into on the street because you had a panic attack and crashed into their car like I did I have severe anxiety and epilepsy should not even be allowed behind a vehicle but I’m constantly ripped apart from my non ability to transport my child around my Outlook is hey we walk damn it much healthier

I would say “I am not comfortable driving”. Simple as and you don’t need to justify that either.

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Honestly with this person I’ve only asked a ride because it is for a doctor appointment for my hand it was to soon for the appointment to call my insurance. My fiance drives he takes me places when he is available. I walk if I need to go somewhere there is public transportation a city bus walking distance for me.

It depends who and why they’re bringing it up. If it’s someone who has to be driving you around then they deserve an explanation as to why they need to take them from their life to give drive you. If it’s someone random then just say because you don’t feel comfortable and leave it at that.

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I only started driving 6 years ago when I turned 32, it was great at first, but I suffer with anxiety pretty bad, and at one point getting into a car would set me off even if it wasn’t me driving. I’m a bit better now, I will drive short distances, mainly school runs but if my anxiety plays up again I won’t drive, it’s that simple. I do get the ‘what a waste of a car’ or ‘just drive anyway, saves money’ loads of comments ect. Butttt it’s tough, if I don’t feel safe driving I won’t, I wouldn’t put my kids, me or anyone else at risk with me driving whilst anxious. It’s noone else’s business if you drive or not, just tell them that. I am glad I have my licence, but if I don’t want to drive that’s up to me. If you really don’t want one then that’s your choice. Have you ever tried to drive? If not maybe try a lesson or 2 and then see how you feel xx

I just told everybody driving scares tf out of me and when I’m ready I’ll get my license. I’m 38 and just got my license last year. I still don’t really drive…just to and from work, kids to and from school and a couple local stores and that’s it. When I get asked why I don’t drive much I say because I hate it. But you could always tell everybody to mind their business because it really isn’t there business

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If you’re not comfortable, you’re more likely to make a mistake or be in an accident, either you’ll be comfortable or you won’t, don’t let anyone push your limits, you know them best

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I just learned this past year I have my L I’m 33 it was anxiety in testing as a teen that prevented me then a mental health thing until this point. Everyone was quite understanding honestly

It’s not the driving part, it’s the in the car that I hate. I love driving but I am claustrophobic and hate being in the car. Being forced to where a seat belt is worse. My husband hates that I have to have the window down even in the winter months to be able to handle being in a car.

I’m in the same boat, and I just straight up tell them it makes me uncomfortable. I don’t have my licence, or even my learner permit (I’m 26), because I get anxious at the mere thought of being behind the wheel. I stress enough when other people are driving, and flinch when I think other cars are too close, may not stop in time etc. It’s just safer for everyone if I don’t drive, period.
You don’t owe anybody an explanation for it, just say “I don’t want to” or “No, driving makes me uncomfortable”. If people pry, shut it down. It’s none of their business.

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My 21 yr old doesn’t drive. Doesnt see the point in it. It’s a waste of time and money. So I don’t pressure her. I’ve taught her to drive but she has no interest in getting her license.

(Sorry this is long lol)

You don’t have to drive, there are ways around it even if it gets tough. Like walk, bus, Lyft, etc or someone else driving for you,
I don’t drive. Especially after having a few bad accidents in 10 years. Never had a license. I’ve gotten as far as a Missouri permit at age 22, less then a month later, ended up in Florida (for my 2nd time with my oldest son). Long story.
Anyways I’m 32 now, moved back home to Nebraska a little over 2 years ago, summer of 2020 I started to drive again and then Sept. 5th I had my last accident, I blame myself and the flip flops I was wearing … learned my lessons. I haven’t driven since and that last time made my PTSD worse.
I have 3 kids 13, 8 and almost 4. I feel like a crappy mom and fiance. My man does have a license and the only one driving me or us around. He works 7- 5 and after over 5 years of being a stay at home mom I got a job a little over a year ago so I work nights plus take care our you daughter during the day til he comes home and then takes me to work.
So I feel bad and I’m just scared/nervous to drive again. I do want my licence. My oldest son said it would be funny if he’s 15/16 years old and gets a license(permit) before me. :rofl:

30 years old. I have anxiety about developing epilepsy again. And seizure on the road with my babies makes me want to cry. The only one it really bugs is my husband. I remind him that he knew I didn’t drive when we were dating. I just can’t get behind the wheel without vomiting. And no matter how many carseat checks I do nothing is safe enough if I have a seizure. While he is annoyed he knows other than throwing a fit. He can’t win

Are you an adult? Is this a serious question? The more you drive, the less scared you will be.

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Say you’d be happy to pitch in for gas but you’d rather not drive :woman_shrugging:t2:

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Tell them no.Period End Of Story

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I’m 37 and just ot my permit only for my job to get promoted but my ex and everyone use to bug me about it but don’t til ur ready cuz it Crazy out there

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I just tell them I don’t drive. I tremble constantly. My legs are starting to shake. Traffic makes me nervous. I don’t drive.

You don’t have to explain why, it’s not their business. I’m not sure why society is so pressed on rushing things like this. Driving is a big deal and should only be done if and when you are ready. I have a 17 year old daughter going through this. All her friends are presuring her to drive, she has no desire to drive yet( she has bad anxiety too). I always let her know that there’s no rush. She’ll drive if and when she’s ready.

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As long as it’s not impeding on others who really cares. I LOVE driving. It’s one of my favorite things to do but not for everyone

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Whether you want to drive or not I’d get therapy for the phobia. You’ll feel better.

If you have to constantly rely on others for transportation, offer to pay for gas, give them gifts, pay for or make meals for them occasionally to be reciprocal.

Do you have Uber & Lyft available where you live for emergencies?

As Stephanie Theophilopoulos said, just repeat your phrase as often as needed.

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I got over this bt forcing my self to get in the car and drive every single day. At first it was just around the block. Slowly, I went a little further every month or so. It took about 6 months, but the fear went away. (I still don’t like driving on crowded freeways though).

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I did not start driving til I was in my 30s. My confidence has never been good and I did not want the responsibility.

If you don’t want to, just say so. Nobody can force you

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I also don’t like driving but not facing things because they cause anxiety will just 1. Breed the habit of avoiding anything that causes discomfort.
2. Hold you back in life.

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I’m in my mid 50’s and have never driven a car cause I have epilepsy

Tell people to mind their own business

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I just tell them to mind their business. I make everything happen without driving and without asking for their help.

I have had my license for 18 years. I used to love late night hi way driving in fact I miss doing it to get out and clear my head when needed. When I had my last 8 years ago it started to terrify me not sure what happened or why. I have never been able to drive in bigger cities as soon as other vehicles were to close and I wasn’t familiar with where my next turn would be I would have panic attacks. Before Covid I started working with a driving instructor as well as counselors but that all got shut down. So now I just drive in my small city. All my family lives in bigger cities and I can’t drive to visit them and it upsets not only them but myself as well. But I would rather arrive alive then cause an accident because I panicked

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Face the fear and do it anyway. Being self sufficient isn’t a must as society is changing. Start small and work yourself up to being able to drive comfortably

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I have a big phobia of driving. I get bad anxiety and don’t feel that it would be safe if I got on the road. I just tell them I’m not doing it and if they don’t like to bad .

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I hate driving but its a necessity since i live outside the city limits. I just get it over with. Try to get everything i need in one trip and wont touch the car for another week. Lol

I have a touch of night blindness so I don’t feel comfortable driving at night. I let people know so other arrangements can be made end of story. Don’t get me wrong if there was an emergency I’d white knuckle it.

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I drive for a living…I’ll say it’s not that uncommon. I talk to people all the time who just aren’t comfortable with it, especially if they had a traumatic accident involving a vehicle at some point in their life. I don’t blame them at all, especially where I live with the amount of people living here, moving here, and craziness on the road.

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I just tell them, and move on… You don’t need to take on other people’s feelings about it.

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I currently don’t drive but have to soon cuz my husband is going into trucking and will be gone during the weeks and sometimes weekends as well. I want to drive I do it’s just the getting started part makes me nervous. You don’t owe anyone an explanation if you are fine with not driving then that is your own business.

I’m 42 and never had a driver’s license. I’m hearing impaired and driving terrifies me. If you’re not comfortable then you’re not and people need to mind their business.

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There a posssibility of a number of legitimate excuses while one doesn’t feel comfortable driving as we enter our Senior Years. i. e. health problems, diabetes, blood pressure, heart problems, strokes an on an on.

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It is one of the most dangerous things people do on the daily so it’s understandable.

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Just tell them don’t care what they think

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I will drive you anywhere you like during the day, come night time we camping or you drive. No other option.

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Just say no thanks I’m not comfortable driving

I tellem i have bad anxiety driving. Ive drove before many times. And i shake so bad. But i have to get my license i have no choice i have 4 kids and i have to :sleepy:

Im in the same boat the pressure from everyone, i had a little accident when i was 7 months pregnant and i drove into another vehicle where there was a baby as well no one really got hurt but im terrified ever since and i get anxiety and my heart starts pounding the moment im behind the wheel im so afraid and when i try to drive i get panic attacks and nobody seems to care they jusg feel i should get my license and drive

My sister was in a car accident and it created severe anxiety. She has a learners permit and her thirtys. I recommend to her driving in a parking lot - like a church after hours- drive in circles. Drive around the block at night. Drive down the street in snow- light snow. Start small work your way up.

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I would tell them that someone driving when they’re uncomfortable is dangerous so you feel you shouldn’t be on the road. I don’t see why people would be pressuring you to drive anyway unless you don’t have access to public transportation.

I was in a bad wreck last March and broke my kneecap, had to have surgery and still can not walk correctly, I haven’t driven but maybe 3 times and i get bad anxiety, so I don’t.

I don’t like driving places I don’t know. I live in a small country town and I get anxiety driving to the city. My heart will beat so fast and I feel like I’m going to puke. I do not drive there unless I absolutely have to. Thankfully my fiancé loves to drive because without him I’d be stuck in my little town :joy:

Just tell them stop u are not comfortable with driving. I have a aunt that doesn’t drive and doesn’t want to n that’s ok

I just tell them that It gives me bad anxiety and they understand

I mean I do drive if I have to. But I just say, I’m a bad anxious driver and it cause me to have bad panic attacks, I don’t drive

I know that feeling I used to feel sick
One day I said I’m not driving any more
People still look at me funny but I feel better