For anyone who took another parents rights away, how long did it take? I know you guys aren’t lawyers or anything else, I’m just seeing if it is worth actually going through the process. My sons real dad hasn’t been around in over three years & hasn’t contacted us in almost three years. I literally begged for him to be in his life when he was first born & through the first year. I eventually gave up because he just didn’t want to be there but tells everyone I keep him away & don’t let him see him. He moved a few states away & I haven’t received child support in almost a year which I haven’t even tried to go back to get it because I don’t need his money. I struggled in the beginning, but I have a good job now & don’t need his help. My boyfriend has raised my son & we had a daughter together & he eventually wants to adopt him. My son even calls him daddy. I’m just wondering what the process is, how long it takes, & if it’s really worth it?!
Most states will not let you try to terminate rights until there is someone willing to step up to the plate and adopt the child(ren). But im pretty sure you can file for child abandonment…it might make it go faster.
Each state is different best to consult with a family lawyer most will do a 30 min consultation for free. What state?
but you guys might have to also be married depending on your state laws
Get lawyer tell them the facts .u want to terminate rights and why .doesn’t take that long
Depends on the state. But where I live as long as you can show there has been no contact for over a month it’s considered abandonment and you shouldn’t have any problems getting full rights
You have to be married for a set amount of time
OP:
I do have sole custody of my son & I have a ton of proof of the no contact! So that I’m not so much worried about, I just want to make sure it’s all worth it! I’m not one to talk bad about his real dad or ever say anything bad about him to my son, but my boyfriend & his family have taken him in & accepted him as his own. I appreciate everyone’s comments & help. I’ve been deciding for a while whether or not I should go through with it. I just don’t want to hurt my son in the long run when he finds out about it all.
I’ll share my story. I live in KY, a state where usually a parents rights aren’t terminated, even willfully, unless there is an adoption taken place by a spouse. And usually not at all if the custodial parent is on government assistance. Im a single mom that works full time, is a full time student, but also receives housing, food, medical, and daycare assistances.
Its taken me over a year to terminate my exes rights. He is a heroin addict with a 13 page ling criminal record, which includes charges Ive pressed against him such as 3 Domestic Violence, 2 assault, and 1 breaking DVO, as well as theft charges for him robbing me of $3,000 by sending himself Western Unions in my name with my debit card WHILE I was in Army Basic Training.
Anyways. HE filed a DNA test in late 2015 after I returned from Basic while my daughter was 2. He was awarded supervised visits early 2016 with a stipulation that he had to be randomly drug tested, and child support set. He saw her a total of 3 times in a year timeframe, despite the agreement being once every other weekend (and 2 of those visits I brought her to him, over an hour away. One visit was going to Walmart where I bought HIS new baby formula and bottles because the baby didn’t have any). I reached out constantly, asking him to call or video chat with her. He always had some excuse. Well, he quit paying his child support around the time I bought his kids formula. He went a few months without seeing her, so I started asking questions to his family and found out he lost his job due to refusal to take a drug test. So, I requested him to take a drug test, and he refused. Which broke our visitation arrangement and I filed to have the visits suspended. They couldn’t find him to subpeona him to court, so I texted him out court date. He replied blaming me for not seeing her, because I “had a car and money and should be bringing her to him”. Well, he didnt show up to the courtdate and I had a screenshot proving he was aware of the ciurt date. So they suspended the visits until he could pass drug tests or prive he’d been to a rehab facility. About 4 months after his visits were suspended, I got an email from his girlfriends mom telling me he and his girlfriend were bad off on drugs (he’s 35 and shes 22, and she had every tooth in her mouth pulled for pills) and hed just gotten another DUI, and to keep my daughter as far away from them as possible. Then, shortly after that he made the local news for OD’ing in his apartment on heroin/fentanyl and the EMS workers who responded got so sick from contact with him that they had to call in a deputy to drive the ambulance with everyone in the back, and THEY had to receive Narcan as well! All this while his child was in the apartment. CPS took his baby, who to this day is under placement with his aunt. He is STILL drawing this out in court, happening in August 2017 and is facing 10 felony counts of Wanton Endangerment 1st Degree. When I found out this happened, I immediately hired my lawyer again, and filed to terminate his rights. I was appointed a GAL (Gaurdian ad Leidem) for my daughter, which is basically a “middle man” attorney for her that did a home visit and ran my background, work history, etc to make sure I was of sound situation to raise her on my own without him. She said everything looked good on my end. It took forever to find him to have him summonsed to court, even though he was out on house arrest (it took me Googling his family members names and addresses and having each one checked by the sheriff before they found him). I finally got him a subpoena served around October 2018. First court date was March 2019, he lays on a pity party that he’s poor and cant afford a lawyer, so I get court ordered to pay for him an attorney. I was absolutely boiling. But, ut was what it was. Had to remind myself that my daughter was worth every penny to keep her safe. Well, after reviewing his 13 pg long criminal record, plus his $11,000 delinquent child support, etc his lawyer basically told him he didnt have a leg to stand on. Without ME offering anything, as I was prepared for an all out battle given our states pooe family court reputation, he offers to willingly sign the termination IF I drop the $11,000 back support. Again, at this point Im boiling again because how dare that man sit and use my child as blackmail to make himself come out smelling like a fresh rose after all the hell he put us through. This man beat me, poured chemicals on my face, pointed a loaded rifle on my face, threw me in the floor when I was 6 months pregnant with our daughter and kicked me and hit me, but he had the audacity to use her as a bargaining tool? His exact words were if I didnt drop the back support, he’d fight me tooth and nail. And since I was paying 3 seperate lawyers, the longer it drew out the more money I’d be out. So I threw my white flag up. Agreed to do it. Not like I’d ever see that money anyways. I’m currently awaiting the judge to sign off on the agreement. But everything is said and done, and just waiting for it to be finalized. Its been a hell of a journey.
I live in Wisconsin, went thru this a long time ago. My ex had a record, in and out of jail. Domestics, drug use, he agreed to sign off, my husband, their step-dad has been in their lives since the age of 3 and 5, he is their full on dad. They know their sperm donor dad, we never said one bad word about him ever, they came to realize, as they got older, and formed their own opinion of him. Today they are 29 and 31, to this day, neither one of them will have anything to do with him. Kids are smart, just be honest (we always told the kids that their dad had an illness, could not stop doing drugs, but still loved them, just couldn’t be a dad thru all of his problems) the family court in Dane county Wisconsin was very helpful. I have stayed in touch with my ex’s family, my kids have grown up knowing all their relatives from that side, and my husband has been great about it. The more people that love your kids the better !
Depends on the state. But where I live as long as you can show there has been no contact for over a month it’s considered abandonment and you shouldn’t have any problems getting full rights