How should I go about getting a surrogate?

My husband and I want to have another baby in about a year and a half. I had to have a hysterectomy in the middle of last year so our only option is surrogacy. I’m super scared about it and I don’t even know if we can afford the $50,000 it costs to pay the actual surrogate. I want to ask family or friends if they’d consider being a surrogate, but I don’t know how to ask. I don’t want to make things awkward for them. Does anyone have advice or suggestions to help with this? I desperately want this, but between agency fees, legal fees, medical fees and everything else, I’d be left with about 10 grand to actually pay the surrogate. Should I just be happy with what I have and get over it?


Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How should I go about getting a surrogate?

Well if you pay the doc fees and dont mind delivery being between 37-38 weeks my fam could use the cash


I would totally do it but I think I’m too old now. Plus it would have to be someone else’s egg… I couldn’t give up one of my own babies.

I loved being pregnant. Ive actually been considering doing this! Message me?

I was just speaking to someone last week about getting on the waiting list for this.


You could also consider adoption.


12k and it’s all yours, lol.

Have you thought about adoption? There are plenty of children who need loving homes. Just a suggestion.


Just keep in mind that most insurance companies will not cover surrogacy so you’ll have to buy them health insurance privately. Also you’re still need an attorney to make sure everything‘s legally done. Plus the ivf. I’m sure it’s still cheaper but regardless it’s pricy :disappointed:

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Adoption is an option and cost less. So many kids in care begging for a forever home. You could definitely look into it


I wanted to be a surrogate for years but my H at the time was totally against it. Now I’m remarried but considers to old (43).

I don’t know if you’ve looked into this in your state or read up on your state laws, but I’d just check your state laws surrounding surrogacy. There are numerous states here in the u.s. (if that’s where you’re from) that are not super surrogacy friendly!

On a side note, I think that if you and your husband are able to and have the funds to go through surrogacy - I’d say go for it!

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I would love to have a surrogate but I’m in the same boat, we cannot afford the cost for one

Have you considered adoption or fostering? The woman could go through the pregnancy and change her mind while you paid for it all. Then who knows how long it would take to get your money back, if at all.


There’s actually a lot of babies that get abandoned in nicu, maybe look into adoption.


Check out CNY fertility in NY.


You can always ask. Don’t get upset with the no’s. Maybe you get a yes though

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Surrogacy is a great thing but also has big risks. Anyone considering being a surrogate needs to be done having their own children, healthy non complicated pregnancies and births, or premature births. That’s just the tip of the iceberg. So much legal mumbo jumbo, shots, possible loss of fertility.
Plus, if you have had a hysterectomy, you don’t have eggs. So you will need to have an egg donor or either your carrier will be a traditional surrogate and use their eggs.

There are several fb pages that are very informative.

If you can’t afford a surrogate you can always consider adopting🥰


Without having the money readily available or a loan already approved, this is not happening.


I would love to be a surrogate but unfortunately I don’t qualify cause I don’t have a college degree… if you’re in Texas or close I’d definitely help you or

What do you have to do to be a surrogate?

Nothing to lose by asking, just be prepared to get a NO .
If you can’t afford it you should consider adoption


Stop telling her to adopt:


I think being a surrogate is awesome ! I have had friends do it and some for free ! But I totally understand them wanting to get paid because being pregnant limits things you can do and you are literally risking your life for someone else ! I have had 3 babies and I am pregnant with a 4th and I am super sick my whole pregnancy ! I am a stay at home mom but with my 3rd I was so sick it would have been impossible for me to work !! I truly hope you can find one ! I always said if I couldn’t have kids I would love to adopt ! Good luck mama

My sister did this for my other sister and her husband.I would talk to your husband of anyone you guys know that are possibilities and talk to them about it but you have to be very cautious and prepare your self because things can go wrong so find someone that DOES NOT want any more kids because caring a baby you build a bond with that baby and some times people change their minds and want to keep the child.This is where an attorney is important.Is this with you and your husbands “things” or your husbands and the other girls.Also you would need to have papers drawn about about everything so picking someone you :100: trust is important.Honestly my family has kids that are adopted, different parents,step kids,ECT and every child is loved and cared for the same.DNA doesn’t matter with us.We are family not matter what DNA says and we wouldn’t change anything.I would say the cheapest and safest choice would be adoption either through an agency or the state.Ive been involved in both situations.

Just ask family if they say no at least you asked .I know family who had there family member be a surrogate .So go for it

Adoption is also a way to expand your family


I’ll do it for 10k :joy:


Stop saying adopt… y’all need to look into adoption trauma. Separation from a Mother causes lifelong issues for the baby… please, please as an adoptee, I beg you to stop thinking adoption is a way to get a baby instead of being something that is only utilized when no one else in the child biological family can raise the baby… Adoption is not what you think it is…


Huge risks with surrogacy even with the best lawyers! If not a best friend, or family member, I would definitely consider adoption.

Idk how much adoption costs, you can look into that. But if you can’t find someone you know who wants to do it and you can’t afford it then you are just going to have to be happy with what you have.


Hey now. I’d do it for 10k. Shoot.

Ask someone you trust more than anything someone you know what would do right by you when pregnant someone that will respect how you would love the pregnancy to go if they will take care of them selfs while pregnant. I have thought about doing it for a friend of our they would have to worry about the cost of much other than the implantation it’s self everything is covered here were I live so thats one thing they don’t ha e to worry about I don’t smoke or drink or do drugs what my baby’s needed when I was pregnant with them always came first

I’ve offered to be a surrogate for family and friends, and a few strangers. Never considered payment aside from medical bills/typical stuff they’d pay if pregnant :woman_shrugging: I make healthy babies and I think everyone deserves to have at least 1 bio kid if they want


Just work it into conversation that you’re lookin for one with them.

If you really do want another baby, You would need to take the time to save up for the money to pay the surrogate/agency. And it would not be in the year and a half window that you want it to happen. There’s a lot of screening and tests, plus you have to pick the surrogate and pick the egg donor if they can’t harvest yours. And then the treatments and possibility of eggs not implanting after transfer, sometimes miscarriages happen, and having to fertilize more and try again.
From what I’ve read the process takes about 18+ months beginning to end for the surrogate.

My issue is this … surrogacy is expensive. I understand having difficulty getting the money together for that. If you are able to come up with the money, are you going to be financially secure enough to raise the child?

Cannot hurt to ask, there r woman who would do it for cheaper, 1 because they need the money and 2 because they love to help woman conceive, I pray u get what u want

I think you should check surrogacy agencies in other cities as they are different prices based on the area. If you are comfortable with asking family and friends do that first then consider other options. Make sure you get an attorney and a ironclad contract. I would not use the surrogates eggs if you need to use donated eggs because that just gives the birth mother even more ties to the baby and could cause problems at birth.

First, pray and ask God what his plan is for your family. Second, it never hurts to explore all of your options and maybe adoption could be something to look into?


I can’t tell you to be happy with what children you have now. I don’t know your circumstances or those surrounding your hysterectomy.

You are going to need an attorney to make the process legal and to adopt the child born to whoever you ask or however you decide to go forward. You will also need money to pay for ob gyn for the mom.

I have no idea of who the people are you are considering asking. If they are close, they will see the baby growing up and the close relationship, if family or a friend, may cause issues later on.

You have to figure out who and how you are going to ask. I can’t help you script out a statement. This part needs to come from your heart. You should give it serious thought and think about why it will take another child to make you feel complete. This is harsh but you need to think everything through, including the what ifs just in case things don’t go as anticipated.

Is adopting cheaper? :thinking:

I’d do it for so much cheaper! The thought of giving a family their own beautiful bundle of joy would be so amazing🥰

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I’m 3 months. Pm me if you would like.


I would have been a surrogate for my sister after she had such a hard time with her second. I offered. I would expect nothing in return. Ask your family. Love conquers all.

Your only option ?! Im sorry adopt!

Sweetie, you really don’t want to ask a friend or family member to do it. It can cause some awful problems in family relationships. Getting a actual surrogate is most likely very expensive. If you aren’t exactly rolling in cash, most likely even that solution is not ideal. I know you want another baby. I feel for you. I really do. Is there any way you would consider adoption? There are children who are coming, through no fault of their own, who are unwanted and unloved. All they need to make it in life is a pair of loving parents and a home. I was given up for adoption at birth. I got lucky. There was a man who desperately wanted a baby. I was born on his birthday. We both had dark hair and eyes. We both had olive complexions. And we bonded with each other right away. I don’t know who my bio father was and I don’t care. My adoptive father is/was my Dad. My adoptive mother was not a good match. But I’m sure that wouldn’t be the case with you. What do you say? Will you give a homeless nameless baby a chance?


My sister did a surrogacy… for a couple In Spain. She is on canadian news for it if u pm me I can point you in her direction and she can help you 100 percent I know for a fact. :sparkling_heart::gift_heart::sparkling_heart::gift_heart::sparkling_heart::gift_heart::sparkling_heart::gift_heart::sparkling_heart::gift_heart::sparkling_heart::gift_heart::sparkling_heart::gift_heart::sparkling_heart::gift_heart::heart::gift_heart::heart::gift_heart::sparkling_heart::gift_heart::sparkling_heart::gift_heart::sparkling_heart::gift_heart::sparkling_heart::gift_heart::sparkling_heart::gift_heart::sparkling_heart::gift_heart::sparkling_heart::gift_heart::sparkling_heart::gift_heart::sparkling_heart::gift_heart::sparkling_heart::gift_heart::sparkling_heart::gift_heart::sparkling_heart::gift_heart::heartpulse::gift_heart:

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l get paid over $ 195 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $ 18452 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.

Go to This.

l get paid over $187 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $18987 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.

M0re Info.

Look into it thoroughly to make sure you truly have enough.

But just ask people you know. Stress about the fact they DONT have to, then ask if they can. You’d be surprised who would be willing to.

Just make sure they’re fertile. Each attempt is like 16,000 or so lol.

Before anyone offers, I almost died from being a surrogate and now have congestive heart failure. Do your research.

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l get paid over $187 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $18987 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.

M0re Info.

You must be in the US my oldest daughter just did this for a couple and it’s illegal to charge here. Expenses and that’s it. I hope things workout for you.

If you can’t afford a surrogate, you can’t afford another kid.


You might try putting an add somewhere and see if anyone bites. Offer 30k.

A family member maybe? Or adoption?

Following. Husband and I have thought about this in depth. I have many health issues since removing my gallbladder 2 years ago, it was supposed to be an easy surgery but destroyed my health. I can maintain as long as i don’t strain my body too badly. Feel like I was robbed. Following for advice/suggestions. It’s just so expensive.

Where are you located?

Adopt a child so many children out there that need parents

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Can deffinitly go indy if you want to avoid agency fees. But you will still need to pay clinic fees and all the legalities. The process of making embryos is very expensive. My IPs paid 15k in the end for ME but i have very easy zero problem pregnancies. Your surrogate should never be out money from her pocketand she should never feel too scared to ask for reimbursement. I would look into asking a family member

Maybe consider adopting instead. It’s a lot cheaper than $50,000.

Consider adopting please
Give a life to a child who needs one :heart:

Are u using someone else’s eggs? Bc u said you had a hysterectomy, therefore u do not ovulate anymore to produce your own eggs…

To all the people saying “just adopt”. It can cost just as much if not more to adopt. People don’t realize that!


Do you have eggs set aside? I am a 2x egg donor and I can point you to the clinic that retrieved mine if you need them (depending on where you’re located) and maybe they could point you in the right direction for a surrogate.

If you’re near Nebraska, you can message me :slightly_smiling_face: I’d love to help. I can’t say I know what you’re going through, but please don’t give up hope! I’m sure you will get it figured out :heartpulse:

Have u considered adopting?