How should I go about getting child support?

Hi, can you post this for me? My ex is a veteran. We haven’t been together in 4 yrs, he ghosted the kids 3 yrs ago. He doesn’t work… But gets a check from the VA every month. He’s not disabled. He can do everything perfectly fine. With rent and all other bills going up, I’m finding it hard to get my kids the things they need now. I’ve heard from friends that it is extremely hard to get child support from the VA. Do any moms on here ever dealt with this? Is it really hard? And I’m not one to ruin anyone’s life. Even if it’s an extra 50.00, that will help my kids a lot.

92 Likes

Yes, in PA, VA disability money is included as income. Especially when the parent receives some of that money because he has dependents. File for child support at your local domestic relations office.

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How should I go about getting child support?

Contact ur state child support agency

10 Likes

You can hit up your local child support office. Since hes already getting money from the VA it won’t be hard for them to track him down.

9 Likes

You go through the courts not the VA

14 Likes

I don’t know how hard it will be but you can go to your county local child support office and fill out all the information and they will appoint you a lawyer and file through court.

6 Likes

They won’t garnish VA disability checks

2 Likes

If you have a court order you can file for an apportionment claim through the VA. The courts can’t garnish his VA disability but they do count it as income. I have the same issue with the father of my twins.

2 Likes

Has a child support order ever been put into place ? That’s your first step.

1 Like

Since he is a veteran, you should contact the srs you should get free legal help if paternity has been established and you were married at the time of their births.

does he work? like odd jobs or something like bartending for cash under the table? if he does and you can prove it you might be able to get child support. my ex decided to be lazy and file for disability benefits which he does get a check every month. but he does odd jobs like work on cars for cash

The Children should get VA benefits. You need to check.

5 Likes

Go through the courts, he is likely getting dependent pay as well for the kids and you don’t know it.

16 Likes

Go through local child support agency. Also my husband is also a disabled veteran. Just because it’s not visible doesn’t mean its not there. He still works as a truck driver but is on pain meds daily just to live a normal life. Also the nightmares and PTSD. But they won’t take money from is VA pay.

7 Likes

If it’s va disability check it won’t be garnished

2 Likes

They won’t garnish VA disability retirement. Been there…

1 Like

Just want to say putting a man on child support is and should not be referred to as ruining his life.

24 Likes

The Military is very strick on it’s service member rather in or retired… they firmly believe in supporting your kids, with this being said, best way of going about this is to contact a child support lawyer who knows how to get support from military. There is a certain way paperwork has to be filled out an you could be denied if you get just 1 number wrong.

5 Likes

Apply for tanf. Temporary assistance to needy families and get a support order from the attorney general’s office. They will make him obtain employment or provide you with tanf in placement. Call social services and ask for help not va, not facebook, not friends. Pick up the phone call govt agencies.

9 Likes

If there’s never been a child support order put in place by the courts before his disability it’s to late cause now he gets disability n they wont take from that at all because he had to prove disability to SS n doctors n a disability judge before was approved, I know it took me 2yrs get disability

I’m pretty sure if he receives disability then they can as well. I do believe they won’t garnish disability and/or social security for child support, hell its already barely enough but he should be helping with his kids. Contact the VA or even your local JFS office, I’m sure they have done this many times before

4 Likes

Yeah you will have to go through the court and they will take the child support right from his check!

What does your court order say? File for child support.

3 Likes

Let me start by saying just because you can’t physically see disabilities don’t mean they aren’t there: I’m 100% disabled according to the VA: I look fine. :woman_shrugging:t3: you can’t touch his VA pay. Maybe ask him to help; and if not go through the courts, not much they can do if his VA is his only income.

12 Likes

Have it deducted directly .

Take him to family court for support and explain your reason . He should be ashamed of his self. Kick him out unless he contributes to the house hold.

If there are not already child support orders established then you file, if they have already been determined, and you want a change then the orders would have to be amended.

SSDI benefits is subject to child support (depends on State rules)
I do not know about VA benefits…but if he is receiving the kids should be also

I know someone that is married to a disabled person. Social security pays her child support. You need to speak to a lawyer

If a soldier is given VA pay he IS disabled. By The Federal Government! Just because you see no physical wounds from serving our country, does not mean he doesn’t have mental or PTSD problems. Hence, why he ghosted. I can bet on that. It absorbs some of our veterans. I am going to marry one of these wounded warriors.

As for child support, it depends on the state your in. It’s up to the state laws. NYS, were I live, does not let child support come out of any disabled person that gets VA benefits.

But please don’t say someone isn’t disabled, be sure they can do everything. There is lots of things they hide or you can’t physically see wrong.

Thank him for his service.

8 Likes

You cannot get that money from the va. That is disability compensation.

1 Like

Is he getting the extra money from the VA for the kids? Because each kid the amount goes up

1 Like

It’s not ruining his life, it’s getting what you and your kids deserve! You didn’t make those babies on your own, why should you have to struggle so hard trying to support them on your own? Some men seem to think that just because they don’t want to do something they don’t have to. Just because he ghosted your kids doesn’t mean that he LEGALLY gets out of his responsibilities!

9 Likes

Imaging thinking just because he served the country that he should not take care of his own children!

14 Likes

Get a lawyer hun a lawyer will advice u the besttt …

1 Like

I’m going to be the ass here and say just because you can’t see a disability, doesn’t mean it’s not there. He’s a vet, the VA is damn near IMPOSSIBLE to get on the side of the vets and not the government. So obviously, there is something.

If people are correct in that they won’t garnish his VA disability check (I honestly don’t know anything about it and won’t pretend I do) they can still order him to pay and he will have to send money to child support for them to send to you. They won’t GARNISH it, but he can still be ordered to pay.

5 Likes

I’m a vet and get VA disability. It’s non-taxable income so the state you file child support in will not take his disability pay. I also receive child support so I understand filing and trying to figure up payments (it took legit 4 years to get support). But the state cannot use his disability pay as a source of income to figure in support.

1 Like

If its court ordered it doesn’t matter they can absolutely garnish his wages from the VA if he doesn’t have a job but it’s a very small percentage. But I’m pretty sure the VA has the final say. That’s what a lawyer told me anyway.

3 Likes

Do you have a child support order in place? If not I would go to court to get one. If they cant take it from his VA check he will still owe the money.

1 Like

There is extra paper work but you can get it from the va but you have to have support documents.

If he’s disabled thru the VA, no they’re can’t touch his VA Check but he should be getting Ssi (which CS can take) and your children can get SSI monthly benefits from him

1 Like

My husband works for va and he does do child support claims for children

2 Likes

If he is disabled, shouldn’t your kids get social security?

2 Likes

It depends on the state. Many states don’t use VA as income. However, is he permanent or temporary?
Permanent may mean he isn’t allowed to work so can you not make him look bad if you don’t know? My husband is 100% p&t unemployable.
Also, while he may a deadbeat, what’s he dealing with? I’ve seen good men think they’re kids are better off & pop smoke. It may be more about him than the kids.
Go see a lawyer & ask if your state uses VA income.

1 Like

I live in Ontario Canada. We have F.R.O ( family responsibility office) The office garnish his child support responsibility every month automatically. It has been a long while for me, I believe you need separation papers to prove your not together anymore. Do you have a family lawyer? He/she would assist you in this case.

1 Like

They should get dependent benefits. My daughter receives them. So does her brother, who is his current wife’s.

2 Likes

I have no clue about VA disability… but if it’s anything like regular disability children under the age of 18 who have a “disabled” parent can get disability checks too until they turn 18. Worth looking into? Again I’m not sure if it works the same. Hope it works out for you

3 Likes

Honestly it depends on what state you’re in if it’s going to be easy or a pain in the ass. But just side note just because you’re physically okay doesn’t make you not disabled… mental disability is a thing…

Yea…I was told that VA benefits do not count against support and couldn’t collect from them

No he is responsible for then even if he has left them. Don’t listen to the kids and take him for child support

1 Like

If he is getting disability comp then someone considers him disabled even if you don’t. As others have said, it may depend on the state whether you can garnish his disability comp. but file with DCSS and find out. When you file they will send him and income and expense doc. He will have to disclose his income and DCSS should go after what they legally can.

1 Like

You can message me if you want i actually did get money through my exs VA disability benefits its not much but it is something it was definitely a process but possible i live in wisconsin if that matters

2 Likes

The Big Question is “does he collect dependent pay for them?”

2 Likes

My fiance is a disabled vet he got a letter from the department of child support but they will not garnish his wages. It’s the only source of income for our family. If he has a job they will garnish that but they won’t touch VA disability.

1 Like

check with your child support division of the state you are living in and have them to initiate child support proceedings against him. let the child support division decide what amount if any child support he has to pay. i know many states if you go through their child support division does not cost you money to do this.

3 Likes

File for tanf and they should do the rest for you

3 Likes

Your state should have a child support office, contact them to get the ball rolling. I would also contact the VA because I believe there may be benefits that your kids can receive.

2 Likes

Here in NC. They don’t touch that check. My baby daddy owes over $40,000 in texas. Not a cent comes out.

Read this all the way through. I will let you know I am a veteran and my x-huspand is also a veteran and I am receiving alimony from him and it is deducted from his VA disability.

If he gets a check, your kids should get one too, each kid. Call the VA.

1 Like

File with CSS. They’ll require he report all income, including VA disability. My exes income was calculated with that included and then they calculated child support from there.

He won’t have to pay out of his disability most likely, most will happen is he will lose his license for not paying what’s being accrued

I can’t imagine trying to take someone’s disability check for child support. Jesus christ.

7 Likes

Absolutely ridiculous they won’t garnish OR provide an income for his kids.

Custodial parents dont get to say “oh well” and no take care of their children.

Not paying support should be charged as child neglect.

7 Likes

File at the Domestic Relations in your County it’s not hard he should be helping support your children also

2 Likes

Va gives so much for each dependent plus college monies… :eyes:

4 Likes

It’s called an apportionment. You can google and find the papers then mail them in. They can garnish, BUT if he fights (he will) they can decide not to garnish.

The state doesn’t have the ability to see how much he gets if any so if he says he doesn’t get anything the state can’t do anything.

Is there a way for your kids to get VA benefits? I don’t know anything about it. I know ppl in the military get money for dependents & those on SS get money for their kids. Maybe veterans do to?

1 Like

I think it’s like SSI you can’t garnish it

She says he s not disabled !

You can’t garnish any va payments.

OK she’s not asking for much like she said $50 would help that’s not taking his whole check relax people it’s his responsibility also they are his children also

10 Likes

No harm in going down to your local family court and filing for support. And a custody agreement while you’re at it, also spousal support. Good luck

3 Likes

It’s not for us and or one to sayif he is disabled surely someone decided he was disabled enough to receive the benefit?

1 Like

I don’t care who you are or what you’re problems are… you had sex which resulted in a child so you should be responsible for said child or children. If you don’t want the responsibility don’t have sex or make very sure you take all precautions to prevent it. Sometimes even that’s no enough, but your actions resulted in a child so step up to the plate and do what’s right. Ladies this goes for you too. Don’t expect the other half to do everything.

As someone who is a military Vet and a mother the only money the state isn’t allowed to legally take or garnish is from the military GI bill which pays and covers for college along with living expenses. Disability can’t be taken or halved only in a divorce but can be garnished in whats considered domestic support obligations such as alimony and child support. So gather evidence and proof if any along with the birth certificates identifying him as the father and contact a family or civil court. I know its not exactly easy to prove he isn’t helping but just gather what you can and the courts can take it from there generally. The more you have the less likely he will have a chance to fight against it. I’m generally not one for taking disability from people, but he does have a responsibility to his children and should be held accountable especially since he was the one who decided to just walk out on them and you. Also if he was given disability he was clearly found disabled it isn’t always something physical btw.

He not disabled so he’s not getting paid for the kids.

Depending on the va money type your talking about
Chapter 33

I definitely need more info to help direct you towards the right way

And unlike some of the other comments VA disability is not exempt from child support, but i would also suggest looking it up for whatever state you are in because different states have different rulings on it. There are many websites about it but you want to look for ones that are strictly VA related they will hold all the information you need to know.

1 Like

Kimberly Theresa Parker I love how these folks say they can garnish the VA benefits for child support. It’s like you have to fight and have a lawyer for that to even be considered. We’d know

1 Like

You can still file for child support they may not take it out of his benefits but they will tell him it’s his responsibility to send in payments and if he doesn’t he will have to deal with court dates and eventually jail time.

1 Like

If you file for support and don’t get anything bc its VA benefits then you should get cash assistance from the state.

2 Likes

Just gather the info you have and contact the child support office. They will set you up with an intake appointment and tell you the process.

1 Like

Could you talk to him? Maybe he has PTSD? You may not look disabled or physically be disabled but it very much is a crippling disorder.

8 Likes

You have to file paperwork with the VA for an apportionment. You will have to look up the paperwork you need to file it. The VA will not help you in any way. They state they are there to help the veteran only. (My question is who helps the veterans children get all the benefits they qualify for?) But that’s a whole different discussion! My children’s father is also a veteran and when he stopped paying child support for several months I was looking to do this.

1 Like

Not up to you to decide whether he is disabled or not. File if you want but don’t bank on his disability check. That’s for him. :tipping_hand_woman:

7 Likes

You can file for child support.

My child support worker said they can’t take VA payments

2 Likes

how he get money from veterans if hes not disabled?

2 Likes

First off if you wasnt in the military you have NO idea what it’s like. You come back all screwed up between the shots they test on you. The mental and physical exhaustion and abuse they go thru and what they come back with. Do you know more than 50% of people coming out the military commit suicide?

7 Likes

As a military veteran myself, we go through hell of a lot between PTSD and other issues. First and foremost, if your ex-husband is receiving disability compensation from the VA, then that means he has a rating and he has a disability. Your comprehension of a disability is drastically different. I am 70%, but I am not unemployable. My ex-wife tried to take my VA disability from me for her own selfish attitude on alimony, but thankfully, I had a great attorney that stated that in accordance to Federal Law, VA disability cannot be counted towards alimony and child support. If you’re having serious issues, well then seek legal advice from an attorney.

15 Likes

Get a court order and then submit it to the district attorney file a CS case and they will notify VA and garnish his check

Contact DCYF’s child support office, they should help

1 Like

Contact a lawyer not facebook

2 Likes

You can still get but I know alot of mom’s that really only see 25 bucks a month for 2 kids. You’re better off applying for cash assistance and they will get it from him. But you’d get more that way.

1 Like

VA benefits “money wise” are only for those with a service related disability or non-service related disability with certain qualifications. (Medical treatment benefits are different)…
VA money is tax-free so they don’t include into calculations…

Ok so for those saying he shouldn’t have to pay etc because he’s a veteran sorry but at the end of the day that’s his child too and he needs to be helping some even if it’s $50 a month. It takes two to make a child and why should she shoulder all the expenses as well as care for the child 24/7! I completely respect our vets my stepdad is in the military and has done at least 2 tours over seas so I completely appreciate our veterans and sympathize with there trauma not that I remotely can even imagine what they have gone through. But this is not just all on her sorry not sorry. At least if he’s going to not see and abandon his child he can make the minimum child support payment!

28 Likes

Va payments are for service connected disability, so whether they don’t appear to be disabled if they have had connected medical issues they can be deemed as a disability. For example noone would guess but I am 90% disabled according to va and still am the same person just with a little struggle here and there that the va deems higher in compensation. Regardless, it can not be considered in child support as it is a federal entitlement for a specfic person and their service connected disability. It’s non taxable and sometimes not considered as income on some state programs.

It’s unfortunate in this particular circumstance but va compensation is to aid and help the veteran solely.

2 Likes