How should I go about getting child support?

He had those kids also. Not just you. He must pay pay support. File for it!

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File child support thru DFS. Then they go from there.

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How should I go about getting child support?

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How should I go about getting child support?

Contact the VA. My son’s dad gets disability every month the VA directly sends me child support from it.


Just go down to your local health and human services agency and apply for aid. I live around so many who shouldn’t even be getting free aid because they lie about their income and or if they are married or not. Makes me feel bad for those who actually need help and assistance like in your situation who are left to support yourself and children single handed. The county welfare department can help assist you.


In Texas you go thru the attorney general to get child support set up


Here VA money in basically untouchable. You can take him to court of back CS, but they cannot take it out of his disability money. It’s basically like it doesn’t exist. My ex husband gets a check and his 1st ex wife tried and was told nope. Good luck to you!


First step contact the state child support enforcement office where you live. It’s usually part of the department of health and human services. They can assist.


Making someone financially support their kids isn’t ruining someone’s life. :heart::clap: you didn’t make those kids alone and you shouldn’t have to provide alone.


I’m in michigan and my daughters father gets social security and doesn’t work. I did go to FOC,friend of the court. They said they would not go after him for child support because he gets social security. I would have to file for her to get disability benefits because she qualifies with a disabled parent. Just my situation. But since u said he could work but doesn’t tgey might be able to court order support. Tgen if he doesn’t pay he will have to serve jail time. Guess it depends on the state u r in.

Atleast you were nice about it. I saw a post on here not that long ago about a mother wanting her child support to go up to pay all her bills or something like that.


Darling, I’m not sure what state your reside in but here in NY you don’t need a lawyer because it’s pretty simple and just because you are ordering child support doesn’t make you a bad person trying to ruin someone life, if anything that’d be HIM. Hopefully you’ll be able to get back support, sometimes it’s tricky but if he started and stopped or if he told you (or a third party) that he will financially support his children and never did or stopped after time then you will be able to file for back owed support. You should not feel bad for doing this, he is legally obligated to financially support his children until they are done with college. I wish you the best of luck!!


take him to court. He has a legal obligation to take care of those kids until they’re 18


Child support can not garnish VA money directly but if there is a child support order in place the obligee would need to pay the monthly requirement m or held be accountable.

Another option is to contact the VA and request they award some of it to the dependent children. That is quite a process and in my experience it was not super helpful. I did request that from the VA after my ex hadn’t paid child support for 6 months. They did award (that’s not the word they use and I’m sorry I can’t think of it) the children the difference between VA disability pay with dependents and without but that was it.


You go to the courthouse and they will take it from there! He can’t not support his kids. Blows my mind that people DONT!


Child support enforcement, The VA won’t help at all. Also try the SSA, if he gets SSI, the kids will get a portion of it.

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If he’s receiving dependent benefits on the child, you can file for an apportionment (you receive the money he gets for the child) from the VA. But good luck getting it. I fought for 3 years, court appearance, depositions, talking with attorneys, etc. And I got was a nice black and white letter from the VA stating while they understand he’s not paying and is over $20,000 behind, they will not award the money to our child.

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My dad was a disabled veteran but he passed away he divorced my mom like 8 yes but he was getting disabled veteran money which was 3 thousand plus every month so u know military people when they get checks every month it’s gotta be something I hope u go after the absent father and get ur child support… called the VA or talk to ur child support office Its really not that hard God bless


Take him to court for child support.


The military was very compliant with my child support enforcement. The enforcement agency should set amount and send request to VA. Simple. If you want more than they say then you’re gonna have to go to court.


You can register them with the state and the state will take care of it. They will take him to court for you when he gets more than four weeks behind. But you have to go through the court system and get a judgement against him first.


I would start with getting a lawyer. Many will do a consult for free! They can tell you if it’s worth it or not and may have other ideas for you too


with VA they have to be a certain percentage for a child to get a check. you can call the VA and give them his information along with your information and if your son should get the check from VA you will start receiving it. I would make sure I call the VA just in case he is receiving the check for him. it works the same way as SSI. you can also call your state to get money garnished out his check.

If you get child support he will more than likely get visitation/custody. See if there are any local benefits or help

You will benefit from the child tax credit. Hopefully that will help you get the things you need for your kids. I doubt you will get much from the ex.However I wish you luck.

Get an attorney, go to court. It is both parents’ responsibility to care for their children financially. It is not selfish and you are not ruining anyone’s life by requiring him to provide for his children!

You can go to your local Division of child support office or it can be established through a court order by a judge. It doesn’t have to be done through VA at all.

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You don’t get it from the VA, you file at your courthouse


If he’s getting a check monthly and he’s a veteran, he’s got some type of disability. Unless he’s 65 years old. You can’t see all disabilities. Check with the VA


Look up the child support office in your county on Google and give them a call they can answer all your questions


I’m sorry but I feel differently then most, way I see it you spread your legs so take care of your kids, if he wants to be involved let him do for the kids on his own, if not then who cares, you raise your kids and take care of them without child support, if you didn’t think you could support children on your own you should of used protection…I’m sick of women whining about child support!!!


There’s usually a local state child support enforcement


I’m sure he’s getting extra money per kid as well. My husband is a veteran and gets disability monthly. He is paid for me and the kids as well. It’s not much but it’s something. I would check into that.


File with the courts, and let them sort it out. If he’s getting retirement, you should be able to get something for the kids. If it’s a form of disability, I’ve seen payments for the kids outside of what he currently gets. Nothing happens until you file.

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Not all disabilities are visual. However, I do agree that he needs to help support his children in some way shape or form. See if this helps: Military children qualify for a variety of VA benefits resource :heart:

Take him to court and you’ll send the child support papers to the VA Just google VA child support and then your state. It should tell you what you need to do. But first you’ll need some type of court order.

My ex had his child support taken out of his disability he was on from the va actually the military is the worst to not pay child support for they get in more trouble then the normal person

Went thru this with my ex. File in your county. You’ll have your hearing and they can garnish his money from the VA. It does take a little longer if I remember correctly. Good luck

Go to your local child support enforcement office. In Arkansas every county has a rep. Sometimes they all work out of one office and may handle more than one county. Google it for your state. In Arkansas you won’t need a lawyer. They will handle it. Hoping it’s the same where you live

The VA is often no help (at least in my area) Goto your local courthouse and file paperwork for child support. If he’s not working it will take longer since they can’t legally garnish VA disability checks. They can however put the child(ren) on his case and you will get the support that way.

File for child support and they will take it from whatever income he makes.


If the VA knows about the kids then he is probably getting checks for them also. File for child support and the state will contact the VA. Dependents get VA payments also

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Talk to whoever handles child support in your area and if they are no help contact your senator. Sometimes the VA needs a small kick to do the right thing. I would also contact the VA and ask how to get what the kids are owed.

Unfortunately, unless he has a job or collects SSI, you won’t get anything. His VA disability payments are not part of the equation and cannot be touched. He CAN however, opt to GIVE you money from his disability pay, but you cannot garnish or have a court order mandating it.

If he has been found to have PTSD or other mental health issues the VA see them as disabled.

You can start the process online and they will contact you. Just look up your local attorney general and file for child support. It helps if you know all of his info like his ssn, address, etc.

If you weren’t married just file the paperwork for child support. Shouldn’t be too difficult.

My sons father is like this! My son gets ssi from his donor

Because the VA does not release disability to anyone but the disabled vet (and yes, he is disabled despite not appearing so, or he would not be getting disability from the VA), there is nothing anyone can do. A lot of states suspend licenses or do the few days in jail for nonpayment of child support, you can still file to get child support and he will get those consequences if he doesn’t pay. But as far as anyone taking the money from him to give to you, it won’t happen. You might try reaching out to him and explaining that you need the money to support his children. Best of luck.

From my understanding VA checks are not touchable, in Oklahoma anyways. The father of my child gets one and it does not matter if he hasn’t paid child support they cannot take it from his VA checks.

You can’t get money from the VA , doesn’t work like that. If he is receiving a check it is for a service connected disability or a non service connected pension. You cannot call someone since he is not On active duty anymore. If you have a court order, go through child support enforcement. If you don’t, then you have to go to court. Child support amount is based on his income. Hope this helps

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My ex is on military disability so I just contacted the state attorney generals office and let them know and they handled it. But I also went through them to get the order for child support.

Go to your local child support enforcement office and fill out the intake packet. They will get you set up from there.

Just because he is able to do everything doesn’t mean he isn’t disabled!!! There’s a lot that we cant physically see wrong with past/present veteran!!!

Child support is a joke and a waste of time. In my case they wanted ME to let them know his last known location :roll_eyes::roll_eyes::roll_eyes:. Long story short when they finally did FIND HIM they only told him to pay 100 for 3 kids!!! He’s a manager at Sam’s club and I’m sure he earns good. Honestly I thank God that I don’t need his help.

Go to support collections…they do all the court dates for you. You might have to help them find him if he moves or changes jobs. Our state deducts it from their tax returns, can’t get hunting or fishing license if the are behind.

A vet or not he still needs to take care of the kids

He will be court ordered to get a job if he has no good reason why he can’t work. If he doesn’t, he gets found in contempt and goes to jail. This repeats until he finds a job. It was good motivation for my ex! At least in WI…

Mama go get what HIS CHILDREN NEED…Your doing your part he can do his…I hate guys that do this to there children…

The family child support office in your county and state you reside in. You don’t have to get a wage/income garnishment. No attorney needed.

Go to the department of social services. They will help you get child support. You can get between 20-50 percent of his va check. Don’t let him be a dead beat dad. Your kids are the most important thing in your life and they deserve every penny you can get from him.

My bf gets money from va but it’s disability. He was married and got money for her and his two. We have a child and he gets another $92 for her

child protective services if you are getting any aid or talk to a lawyer & court appearance- they can take it out of his check before he gets any $$

My son when he was little his father received a check from VA and my son drew a monthly check from VA if I remember right his father had to sign him up you might be able to call the VA just make sure you have the veterans SS# address and so on good luck to you

File with child support enforcement, my ex is a veteran also and I get child support out his VA check bc he refuses to work.

Go to your local DHR. They will help you through the whole process and represent you in court also.

What state are you in? In Missouri the state Social Services will go after him at no charge IF there’s a court order…

Step one… get court order…
Step two… contact state

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Currently dealing with it and it’s really not just depends on him and if you have proof of abandonment and check the laws for your state/county you have more there money wise then just your basic child support

My bf is a disabled vet and pays around $500 for his daughter out of his monthly check. It automatically comes out each month.

Contact your local child support office and go from there. You can choose a lower child support payment AND waive the past child support owed if you want to be “nice”. You two can agree through a court what’s fair between the two of you and it can be revisited again at a later date if the needs of the children rise and he doesn’t want to help more. Let the state find him and contact him but know once you do that he has rights to see his children … unless proven he is unstable and/or violent or neglectful.
If he is a vet he may be suffering from PTSD or something else but let the state handle it and enforce the issue.

Contact the military branch he was in and they have family services or let the state attorneys office know all his info and they will go through the military to get it. He will have to show in your states court and if he doesn’t he goes to default win to you.

Call your local VA office and see how to go about getting child support directly from them.

My ex got away with not paying a dime for 15 years, the va gave him a chunk of money and the first thing they did was freeze his bank account and pay me every dime of back support. Even if you dont get it right away you will eventually.

First off ghost is a made up word that young people made up and second if he hasn’t had contact in 3 years, go terminate his rights…

Just go to your local child support office they will collect it from them for u

take him to court, but in a good way! file for it thru your local agency. they will base how much he pays, on how many children you have and what he makes. i get 17% here for one child (wisconsin).

From what I understand if he has any kids they should be getting their own benefit? That’s something you need to look into dear.

You can do the process yourself, not being judgy, but it sounds like you don’t have funding for an attorney. Every circuit clerk’s office has a different procedure as does every state. Look into those options. In some cases the State will open a case on your behalf, thus not costing you a dime.

My son is 30 years old and im still.collecting from his dead beat dad…ill never back down on something my kid is entitled to…

If they are he’s kids he needs to pay maintenance. Get a solicitor through legal aid if you can. If you are in Australia then then you should have help from the Government to make him pay.

Yeah, it’s not hard. I went through child support enforcement and within 3 months or paternity establishment I received my first payment.

If I were in your situation I would fight for anything I could get to make life better for my kids. Maybe, if his income is affected, he will be more motivated to work. Does he have PTSD? Sometimes that paralyzes them and they can’t get motivated to do what they should. Maybe this will serve as a catalyst for him. Maybe it won’t, and he will disappear. Whatever he does, you should get child-support and whatever else you can for the kids.

So any “non taxable” money is not considered “income”- so as far as
Child support goes if that’s all the “income” he has then you wont get child support -but on the other hand if he does get social security then contact social security office and depending on the amount of “dependents”
He has- they will break up his entitlement check and a portion of that will go towards each legal dependent of his - I am in the same boat and my sons social security decreases with the amount of children he has - which was just my son but now has an additional 2 children, so it does depend on that as well - and on the other hand- he has to be “disabled” from the military in some way to get qualified for social security -even if it’s just hearing loss as related to his time spent in the military … but there zero way he would get social security benefits without a “disability”

You don’t go through the VA. In Texas you go through the attorney general

File for child support. Even veterans have to take care of the children they abandon.

You can apply for an apportionment from the va and he will get less of a check, it’s easy to do and they catch up all that he hasn’t paid from the day they receive the request from you.

Child support services


Call child support and get back pay…this isbridiculous…what makes you think he shouldnt contribute financially to the welfare of these kids…

His check is more with her as a dependent file and let him go in arrears the judge can take care of him

Go to. Va. Building tell them u have kids igot 89.00 a mth for 3 kids that was20 years ago

If he’s getting a VA check for him he’s getting it for the kids check into it

Your kids might have some back pay coming to them.

Have support collection unit collect it and direct despot it to you.

Do you already have an open case?

Go thru the states child support program

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Check into child support enforcement

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Can you maybe get clothes or other things for the kids instead of money?
That way you can show you REALLY need things for the kids :woman_shrugging:t2:
Wish you all the best :pray:t2:

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I’d be applying for child support, foodstamps and state medical insurance.

If he’s disabled, SSI or VA whichever pays child support for him