How should I handle my 9-year-olds behavior?

My nine year old has been having behavior issues lately. He has ADHD and anxiety. And we are having issues with doing as told instead of whatever he wants to do. He’s sneaking candy, including out the trash—Gross major. And groundation isn’t helping. Suggestions?


Take away stuff he likes, they’re a privilege and needs to earn them back with good behavior.


Take things. Show him that the things he has are a privilege like TV, Games,Tablets etc. They are to be earned with good behavior :blush:

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It’s going to be tough. Hes asking for something. Probably normalcy or control or thinks if he asks for something he will be told no so he doesn’t do it

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Behavior chart with a reward for end of the day. Consistency is key- keeping a schedule is even more important. Seriously, if you don’t have a strict schedule you’ll run into lots of issues. Grounding and punishments only work if he’s really having important things taken away from him and sometimes that doesn’t even work for kids that are ADHD. I think a rewards chart, super consistent schedules and punishments only when it’s severe are going to be a better option for you. Maybe even do a rewards chart that gets him some sort of reward mid-day and then one at end of day too depending on his behavior. It’s going to take time and consistency but I think this might help!


I think its a common thing with kids right now due to this extremely long summer break .
Try to keep a constant schedule, make sure hes getting attention. Kids r smart have a conversation with him tell him those things arent acceptable and it wont be tolerated!

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Same my kid is just been being aggressive so we do timeout and put him in his room I take ever thing out that he can play with and his t.v. and he has to earn thing back like he has to do a chore your has to be good for sren time

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But do agree with Sara brown

A spanking is not cruel for a child with ADHD and most have it only takes one about every six months

I have a son like this also. He also lashed out in pure anger/violence to the point of attacking other kids without a motive. Even the doctors and therapists aren’t sure why on that one. What we did was a reality check. Took him to the police station and an officer talked to him about stealing, assault, the whole thing. We also turned his room into a kid version “jail”. It set him straight for a while. Sadly kids with ADHD, anxiety and other issues have to have a constant change in discipline. One way may work for a couple of days, weeks or months but it’ll always result in a change. Take away the things he cares most about and have him work/earn them back. One thing that makes my sons attitude worse also is too much screen time. Whether it be video games or tv. I started limiting it. Had long term improvement.

Try explaining to him if he does this he’ll get candy. Have it sit in plain sight for him for when he’s done.

This is typical behavior of ADHD and anxiety. My child’s therapist says that the neuros in their frontal lobe don’t connect properly. They have no impulse control, and generally will lie even when caught in the act. Seek behavioral therapy.

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I have a special needs child, his pediatrician suggested the hold technique. Basically you inter lock your legs around his so. He can’t move them , at the same hold his arms ( like a straight jacket possession) hold him for a few minutes or until he calms down. It works believe me. My son would get violent until I started doing this

Everything is different now in our world. Maybe ask him how he is feeling about the changes that we are all having trouble getting used to.

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Try an OTA/PTA and we used weighted backpacks, blankets, heavy chores, etc. It literally helps them feel grounded and also makes their body work harder to move, so more energy spent

Rewards and consequences

Try setting up a strict 123 magic. That when he starts his behavior or u say no to something it’s 1 2 3 something happens. Time out removal of toys to no gaming. Keep everything in writing clear for your child to read. Make sure he understands what consequences are and what happens if hes to defy you. Make sure you have a set daily routine as well no ifs ands or butts about this idea. If there’s one thing I learned as a parent was to make sure my kids knew our daily routine. Bedtime must be consistent along with rules that go with bedtime no fussing no tantrums and no arguing and no parent negotiating with child to complete the bedtime routine. Also set up a small chore list called things to do list basic things at first and it can be simple but the idea is to not have a behavior problem with it and with any thing comes positive reinforcing that maybe if he can follow the rules and chore list for one day he gets to choose what’s for supper or something special at his store of choice. Remember you can reach me anytime. God bless

Well I take away what my son likes as punishment so no electronics of any sort & he still has to do his hour of reading even if he isn’t allowed to play games

Try weighted blanket, yoga, obstacle courses, “brain gym” videos on YouTube. Strike chart works well if he responds better to a 3 strikes and your out method (3 times of not following 3 or 4 simple rules you set in place, he gets something he really likes takem away) or a reward chart of completing 3 or 4 things by following rules you set in place. Visual schedule also will help with the adhd.

Try balancing the foods they consume. Does wonders.

Every one is saying take his stuff… First of please dont. Taking something he enjoys will not get a good reaction and 100% will not help with him respecting rules.
Dont tell him “well you have not been good so you cant have this” kids with ADHD take in information differently.
So try positive reinforcement instead of telling him what he has done wrong or pointing out his mistakes try…
“I hear and see you are having a hard time lets talk about it together” if hes having a meltdown.
Or if hes sneaking things.
“Before we have sweets we have to ask mommy”
It might take a few reminders but I promise you its alot better then getting mad and taking things because you are not teaching anything if you just take stuff that make him happy