How should I handle this situation with my friend?

I need advice, my friend is very Disney oriented and she was talking to me about Halloween costumes for our kids this year. Well since they do Disney themed family costumes they have a new costume every year. Well this year she wants to do a play on lion king and use African patterned clothing. I think it’s a beautiful idea, but when I told her to make sure she’s respectful and ask someone of African culture to help her so she doesn’t accidentally use something that could offend someone, she got frustrated and said “it’s just a patterned outfit!” I’m torn because while I think it’s a gorgeous idea, I don’t want my friend to inadvertently be disrespectful… what should I do?

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. https://answers.mamasuncut.com/t/how-should-i-handle-this-situation-with-my-friend/16846

Just let her do as she pleases. Can’t control what others do. You mentioned the idea and she for pissy so I’d just leave it alone now

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Let her do as she wants and don’t worry about it

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Let her do as she pleases. People get too offended lately

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Nothing…its up to her

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Stay in your lane…if she wants help she will ask for it.

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No, you are in the right. It can and will be taken . Offensively. I commend you. All those saying chill don’t understand culture.

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Mind your own business.

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Nothing… let her do her own thing. People will always find something to be offended at. It’s like people getting offended at little girls that dress as moana or pocahontas…if they are doing it to be disrespectful and make a mockery, then say something…if they are doing it because they enjoy the movie and love the character then let the innocence be what it is

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Omg really? Lmao get a life

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:grimacing: if someone gets offended over her outfit patterns that’s on them! We shouldn’t worry about offending someone over something like that!

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I’m noticing how it’s all white people who are saying it ok. Do you research to make sure your respectful but if she doesn’t that’s fully on her

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Post like these are so funny to me because it’s always just a bunch of white people in the comments. I would love to see someone from one of the countries inside Africa share their opinion. Because I’m pretty sure that’s the only one that matters.

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I think u have done all u can by saying what u have done now just leave it be and what will be will be ! Xx

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Africans love when their culture is embraced :rofl: this is such a stretch lol let your damn friend be and most likely she’s buying material from African stores (I hope :laughing:) so she’ll be iight … yall are reaching for the wind on this

Isn’t the lion king all animals? Just dress up in furry clothes and be done with it. There were no people in the movie.

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Some peeps need to learn about cultural appropriation/appreciation.

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African culture isn’t a costume so you’re right. :woman_shrugging:t4:

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Sounds like your friend doesn’t respect you lol. Buuut it’s not your monkey, not your circus :slightly_smiling_face:

That’s her problem if she offends someone not yours.

Do you even know any African people? No offense to anyone but your skin color doesn’t mean you know the culture. I used to live near true Africans. Besides skin color they have nothing in common with black Americans. With that said if she knows Africans then it’s not a bad idea to run her ideas by them. I wouldn’t be concerned with offending black Americans. First of all they are probably not wearing or using clothing correctly to the culture anyway. Second people I know who are black will just be mad that white people want to pay tribute to the culture. They’ll twist her costume ideas to racism in some way.

Let her be. Stop trying to control her.

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Look up appropriate patterns, give her ideas.

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Its for Halloween smh it’s a costume for “dress up” she’s not trying to make fun of or disrespect a culture nor be culturally correct… it’s a 1 night thing. People will literally find anything to bitch about these days and get all offended over :woman_facepalming:t3:

Mind your own damn business

As a South African, ur not very far off.a lot of times people think our culture is “cos play” but some outfits are in fact sacred and we ourselves don’t dare to play dress up in them unless earned or gifted. Not sure why she takes offence when all it will take is a thorough google search.
The last thing she wants is to b accused of cultural appropriation wen it could have easily been avoided

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As an African in Africa, different patterns on fabrics mean different things. They also differ with different occasions.

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You said what you felt you needed to say. Now leave it be and let her do whatever she wants.

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I have to agree with a fellow poster. The Lion King has no people in it… Just animals… so… there’s no one to offend with their costumes anyway because, you know, animals. Might upset PETA though but I think it’ll be ok…

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It’s literally a patterned outfit to wear, to look like something you are not, on a fun holiday…it is not that serious. :sweat_smile::joy:

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The lion king is all animals. I think this whole scenario is made up. If not stay in your own lane and stop trying to control things that have nothing to do with you.

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Honestly, it sounds like it would be offensive to some regardless. It’s like dressing up as an “Indian”. There are no people in the lion king, why not all dress as animals like the actual story?

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She should be mindful no I am not African and although I am American I am very knowledgeable about African culture and do suggest that she do her research because she does not want to wear something that may deemed sacred or hold a certain significance to any African culture she should try to gain an understanding of what she is going to wear to see what is deemed acceptable or forbidden for her to wear. What I am surprised at is so many ppl responses are so ignorant and they don’t even realize it, I wonder would some of these ppl feel the same way if they dressed up as Adolf Hitler and Jews would it be ok or just a costume if they dressed up as a Jewish concentration camp or Jewish holocaust captives? We really need to be mindful of what we speak out of our mouths rather black American or true African it is still apart of many of us and it should /we should be respected and lastly your friend should just dress up as one of the animal characters from Lion King

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A lion and a warthog? Umm :thinking::thinking:
It’s all animals.
Let her dress her kids like some animals and u can just do what your family feels is appropriate :woman_shrugging:t3:

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Honestly, you said what you think. Now it’s up to her. If everyone would quit being so offended over everything, this world would be a better place

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you should …mind your business

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First of lion king is based on talking animals so who is she offending the animals, second of black Americans and African Americans are 2 very different things, I’m sorry but the term African American bothers me, cause most black people are technically not African American even if there ancestors are from Africa. they know nothing about the actual African culture. I myself and mixed raced white and black, and I will be the first to admit I know nothing about African culture at all and neither does anyone in my family and I don’t consider myself African American, mostly because I don’t know nothing about their culture, my white side is German I also don’t consider myself German either so cause I know nothing about being German. I’m black and white american plain and simple.
Now with that being said I’m pretty sure they wear certain patterns at certain times for certain reasons

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Everyone is going to be offended by something or another at some point soooo :woman_shrugging: at least this is fairly tame on the offense level. How on earth did we ever survive the 90s/early 00s??

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Let her do what she wants geez

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You should…mind your business!

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It’s not your business, leave it alone

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You can’t please everyone. People are offended by everything. Let your friend wear whatever she wants. It’s really not your business.

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I say, just let her family do whatever they’re going to do and stay out of it. You’ve said your peace. If you don’t feel comfortable with what the choices she’s making for her children, then choose differently for yours and move on.

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leave her to it, mind your own business. they’ll be dressed as lions or other animals from the movie and have some sort of animal pattern… there’s nothing offensive about it. nor can anyone take offence from it. if you look it up, the whole thing is based on christianity, rafikki is basically a pastor who christens simba. it has a lot of biblical references too. the movie is about the circle of life, nothing more and nothing less.

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Relax, these days you can’t breathe without offending somebody.

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yikes I didnt know this group didnt care about other cultures.

If she was going to dress everyone up as a animals then THATS FINE.

but she is talking about getting patterned clothing. and she refused to even care about the fact that it might offend someone.

I am white so I have no room to speak on what is or isn’t offensive to other cultures. however! If even one person from that culture says its a bad idea. then ITS A BAD IDEA.

I dont know how you can change her mind. but just send her information about how some items in the African culture are sacred. similar to a headdress in Native american culture - its overall a bad vibe and super racist.

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I mean as a Hispanic person I’m not sure why folks dress up as sugar skulls. It’s extremely disrespectful as the entire holiday is to pay tribute to our ancestors and the earth and instead it’s a funny mask and some candy….

The patterns on the outfit represent different tribes and some of those tribes are kind and some are at war. In their country the wrong patterns can get their lives taken but I guess in the US it’s not common knowledge.

I always hate when others use customs and culture as “costumes” but at the same time I know people don’t care to research these things.

Best to share your knowledge and let her look like ridiculous if she likes. To each his own :heart:

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Educate your self and then educate her! :heart:

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Get a bunch of warm clothes and some tiger masks. They will be fine. Nice of you to ask tho.

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Stop being a snowflake for once in your life :joy::rofl:

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The lion king is animals lol. Is this a joke?

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Butt out and let her do what she wants. You tried to help but now it’s on her.

Mind your own bussiness maybe ? Or better yet find a new topic other then Halloween costumes to talk about it’s like February.

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You did your part as a good friend. She’s an adult she can make her own choices and also deal with any issues that may arise

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Just mind your business

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Also, the hardest thing about business…(you already know…)is minding your own

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I understand where she’s coming from and I also understand where you’re coming from. On the one hand yes “it’s just a costume” but I’d hate to think that I’d inadvertently disrespected someone’s culture. I mean the road to hell is paved with good intentions :woman_shrugging:t2:

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Get over yourself and have fun or get bent and stay outta her way.

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Way to go for making sure it’s culturally appropriate. I think all you can do at this point is 1) make sure your children are culturally appropriate 2) find a different costume. I applaud your awareness on the subject.

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It’s February find something else to concern yourself with.

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Wow so many judgemental comments…mind your own business? Its very much her business because the friend is dressing her children in the clothing…her children, her business…

Now, if you are worried that your friend is disrespecting the culture just respectfully tell her that you would like to choose your own theme and costumes this year!

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Speaking as a south African if she’s going for animals great ,patterned clothing can become an issue if she cross dresses different cultures. Men of Zulu culture wear springbuck and buck bracelets headrests to represent marriage or chieftain ship so whereas when you go to your inner cultures of woman wearing different beads can signify religious or purity or even fertility. Clothing of different colors represent different tribes or even status. She should just do some research. There are clothes she can wear that can represent just normal African wear. And there are some things that just shouldn’t be worn. As long as she isn’t trying to represent chieftain or king status. Believe me even females can be king. Also wrapping her hair up in certain sashets could signify her as married woman. There is so many different cultures in Africa it’ll be best if she just looks and sticks to dressing as one kind.

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I highly doubt it’s “African patterned clothing” the friend is looking to dress in because from my knowledge there aren’t any human characters in the lion king. Therefore it is likely she is looking to dress is animal print. This poster is starting shit where it don’t need to be started.

Omg just let them dress up as lion king theme and MYOB there’s always someone that will be offended by something let the kids be kids

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You must be woke. Lol

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I see the African print being used as costumes the same way i would look at a person dressing up as a native american wearing the headress with feathers :woman_shrugging:t4: the patterns themself have nothing to do with the Lion King animals.

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It’s halloween, if you get offended then maybe you shouldn’t be out. It’s for the fun of dressing up. Leave them be. While I get being understanding of culture. But this 1 night is all about dressing up and playing pretend.

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I see alot of yt people defending appropriating a culture. I get where you are coming from OP. If your children are also being dressed as lion king people, then I would ask a POC the proper attire to make sure you are not being disrespectful

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I think it is awesome of you to be aware of the potential for disrespect. I would not have thought of that. We need to be very considerate of all cultures around us. It would be a good learning experience for her children to help withthe research.

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There’s a ton of other things to use other than “African” patterns if I’m not mistaken there are no people in that movie…maybe can just dress up as animal characters?

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I can’t even begin to imagine why this would be anything that would concern you!

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You could just say no and pick your own kids Halloween costumes. Thats pretty simple.

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Do it! All the “cool” people do it.

Lmbo

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Learning about the culture with the kids, if any of them are old enough, could be super interesting and cool. Maybe you and she could look stuff up together? Just be excited about how cool it could be to learn about other cultures and maybe she’ll follow suit.

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I would sign my kids up for that. Just go with something else. People’s cultures and ethnicity aren’t costumes. The movie doesn’t even have humans. The can be so many other themes from the movie.

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What about looking at pulling the costumes from the Broadway Lion King?

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Why can’t we just be able to do something without it being “appropriation” or “racists” or anything?! So over this world. It’s flipping Halloween. Don’t go if you’re THAT concerned. :rage::rage::rage:

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I’m more concerned with the fact that you’re giving the Disney company more money. Why don’t you try something a little bit more creative and stop feeding the money making machine? They don’t need any more money

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My opinion is you should mind your own business.

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If that’s all you have to be concerned with in life then I guess you’re doing better than 99% of us.

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Mind your business and stop tippy toeing around other peoples feelings.

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Look at all this cultural appropriation coming from this group😑

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YOU do some research !! I think you’re awesome for it. Start with your school librarian. Then your public librarian. Watch the play… fun for the whole family. I think it will be fun… and quite educational.

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Choose different if you have concern but let her do it for her kids… To be honest no matter what u do in life somebody always has an issue. You can’t make everyone happy so just what u want to do and have fun with it.

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Why are you letting it bother you so much. Certainly there is something more pressing to be concerned about.

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I in my opinion think that you are right! Do research! Work with African people and learn about the culture!!! Shit. Bring some pride and love to the costumes. Halloween is to be whatever you want but it doesn’t give anyone a right to be a racist!

Why is everyone so offended by every thing?

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You’re making a bigger deal out of it than what it should be.

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She’s not inadvertently doing anything. She’s being straight up and saying “fuck that culture I’m going to do because it’s pretty”. Just wearing shit cause it’s “cool” and pretty without understanding or caring about the symbolism behind it SMH.

Please Google cultural appropriation, and then recommend your friend do the same.

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I noticed when you don’t have any culture of your own you tend to appropriate others

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Seriously, I would like to know what “pattern” is considered offensive???

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Tell her to stop being an ignorant person and educate herself. It’s not just a costume if she does it wrong. All of these people talking about how it’s “just a costume”… Except that she wants to do traditional African… So she needs to do it respectfully or not at all… It’s all fun and games until it’s something that offends you… Right?

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I’m sorry but it’s a Halloween costume they’ve made butterflies dirty and disrespectful so I think it’s OK if she uses a themed pattern because at this point that’s Halloween costumes don’t even cover boobs anymore on teenagers so go have fun with a bright colored pattern and a lion King theme

Dear White ppl there’s a big difference between cultural appreciation and cultural appropriation why do y’all still do what you wanna do even after we as black ppl have set boundaries and have expressed why we don’t want y’all to have something I’m y’all take everything anyway why can’t y’all leave our clothes hair dances and styles alone I know why because it doesn’t effect you and your privilege I guess I’d steal shit too if I didn’t have consequences either

I think your like the rest

First of all, it’s none of your business to put your negative two cents in. What makes you think she would be disrespectful in the first place? She’s probably seen the Lion King 10 times and that movie doesn’t offend anyone……it was awesome. You’re trying to turn her idea into some kind of a racial statement rather than a fun Disney movie recreation. Maybe you need to butt out :woman_shrugging:t3:

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Wow,
Some of these comments are showing themselves. I’m glad you didn’t mind your business, as a lot of these comments are saying. Y’all should be ashamed. Also, the ones saying you’re tired of not being able to do things without it being “appropriation” or “racists” are showing your true colors. You want to do whatever you want without having accountability. Imagine how the people you’re appropriating feel! If you feel offended by this comment then it’s for you.

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Once again thank you for speaking up❤️

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Hello from South Africa.

I don’t think you can go wrong with this.
You’re going according to the Lion King movie.

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