Neighbours niece (about 25, mum of the 4 boys, aged 2yrs-8 yrs) was visiting with all the kids (4 boys) and I took my 8mo over to entertain him, he loves kids. We were over with them for a little while, maybe hour and a half, and my boy started to get a little restless, so I gave him his dummy and neighbours niece asked ‘what’s that? why’s he still got that thing??’ And I didn’t know how to respond because I was just so taken aback she’d even ask why I parent the way I do. He has a dummy because it soothes him when he gets upset… much like some other kids have a security blanket.How would you have responded?
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How should I have responded to this? - Mamas Uncut
8 months isn’t too old for a pacifier. I think you responded fine.
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It would help if I knew what a dummy was. Like is he practicing to be a ventriloquist or what?
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Simple, she is a child that is curious.
So I would have just said it’s a dummy that he sucks on for comfort and that alot of babies use them 
Kids are just kids there is no need to be offended by them asking questions it’s how they learn.
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I would have said exactly what you said in your post.
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Many people done use them, I did not. It’s your choice
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Never heard it called a dummy.
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Honestly I would have laughed
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Why would you ever call a pacifier a dummy? That seems so derogatory!
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I would’ve just told her and moved on.
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Bc hes a baby duh… they actually recommend them for babys… They reduce the risk of sids
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Wow, kids can’t ask questions about things they’re curious about?
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Why would you not want a kid to ask a simple question LMAO it’s not an attack on your parenting LMAO
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People are so judgmental, those aren’t my type of people, that’s all the advice I have for you. I’ve been going through the same thing but my son is 1 1/2 and still has one.
My kids broke themselves when teething came
For the ones that think it was a kid that questioned her, it wasnt. It was the 25yr old that questioned her
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Sounds fine! Kids are full of questions.
I would’ve politely asked her to mind her business that it’s your child a you will do for your child as you see fit.
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Its not like hes 7 lol i would have said the same thing u wrote
Same way. I guess she didn’t approve, but she’s not the mom, or the child expert. I would have just laughed it off. Every one parents differently. Unfortunately had you questioned her parenting she probably would have gotten huffy about it. Most people that criticize have very thin skin themselves.
I would of said exactly what you posted. Rude of her to say that tho, never used them but wish I did because my middle is a thumb sucker and you can take a dummy away but not a thumb x. People only judge from their own experience, it’s a her issue not a you issue. Don’t let it bother you
A dummy is a binkie/pacifier
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You don’t owe her any justification. She very well knows what it is and what it’s for. Else she wouldn’t have asked why he still has it.
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“When I’ve had enough of his crying, I give him this little device that sends him to the witches cottages until he stops and they send him back to me happy”
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My grandson is 17 mths old & has a dummy still. He loves it & has 1 in his mouth at bedtime while holding another. “Your baby your choice” if they still want a dummy…
I would have told her to mind her own freaking business
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Also 8 mo is a too little for anyone to worry about them being too old for something
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I am 57. I still have several 
teddy bears…
not a dummy anymore 
None of her business
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He’s 8 months. That’s what they are for.
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Explain it to the kids and ignore the adult
I have a 3 yr old Autistic son that has his Tommy Tippie still & I dont give a rat’s behind who likes/dislikes it 
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My daughter just turned 3 and still has hers
I would’ve said because it soothes him tell her the reason 
My daughter had her paci until she was 4 and she turned out fine lol
He’s 8 months old! That’s what it’s for!
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Some babies never take them, it could be that she truly didn’t know why one would still be needed… I have 3 children and none of them ever took one aside from the first few weeks they were home. Not every question or look by another person necessarily means they are judging or mom shaming… as a mom I’ve learned that the best thing to do is not walk around with a chip on my shoulder, take everything anyone says with a grain of salt, and not over think every detail of situations. Sometimes the things people say irritate us not because they are in the wrong but because our current mood dictates the way we view things that particular day. Sounds like a harmless question to me that if one wanted to could be blown out of proportion. Also 25 is still young. The brain does not officially stop growing until someone turns 25, she literally may not have seen any harm in the question…age does not equate life experience, common sense, conversation etiquette, or any number if things. You sound a bit emotional to me personally.
What a ninny. Honestly…my guess is, she’s insecure and trying to passive aggressively put you down in an obscure way. It is absolutely normal for an 8 month old to still be using a pacifier.
If a mother of 4 said this to me when I was a young 22 year old mother. I probably wouldn’t have said anything either and have been dumbfounded.
Now, at my age…I’d laugh out loud and ask her if she wants to soothe him instead of his pacifier.
She sounds toxic and probably someone you don’t want to hangout with.
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I don’t find her question difficult. Maybe they only used pacifiers for a few months in her family. Maybe she’s not that familiar with them. I don’t know why people have to get offended about so much these days.
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Lol seriously who approves these posts?
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Your shouldn’t have to explain anything !
Just ignore her
I don’t even know what a (dummy) is and I have 4 kids lol
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Yet theres parents out there who shove cartoons on there ph screens and set baby up to watch it to sooth them. Crazy!
Honestly, you don’t owe her any explanation at all. Your baby, your business. 
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Mind ya business. Parents should never tell other parents how to parent there kid.
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Exactly like that … some people are just ignorant
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I would have just said because he does 
My daughter only got rid of hers 2 weeks ago just after she turned 4 
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Because he’s my baby …
He’s only 8 mo’s very common at that age.
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I would have just told her that he likes it and he’ll give it up when he’s ready. Then I would have gone on talking to the neighbor lady.
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I’m sorry, what’s a dummy?
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Tell her to F off it’s none of her business
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That’s how I soothed mine. They eventually kicked them on their own. It’s none of her business how you parent.
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Um would have ignored it.
Man some of y’all blow everything out of proportion 
A simple “because he likes it” or “because he needs it” would’ve been fine
Personally I’ve never used them for any of my kids but some parents are different, no big deal
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I sucked my thumb till I was 12 years old…my daughter had a dummy till the age of three…it’s your kid, not theirs so tell them to mind their own
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You owe her no explanation!!
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What’s a dummy? Lmao I’m picturing a creepy doll
*edit…. Ohhhh Pacifier , wtf who came up with dummy? That’s not a good term at all for something for a baby lol Another country? We refer to it as Paci, Binky or Lala 
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My kids never took pacifiers. I never introduced them. It’s one less habit to break.
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I would brush it off and get over it. Why worry about someone else’s opinion when it’s your child and you know what works best for him?
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Just answer the way you did to us, tell her it works for him and soothes him my son had a binky till he was almost 3. It worked for us and his pediatrician was supportive of it.
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She was really rude. You could have said just what you told us. Then asked her why it was her concern.
I would have said that’s my nerve medication or my peace of mind then laughed and let it go.
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You don’t have to explain your parenting to anyone. Simply don’t respond. Continue tending to your child & whatever else was going on.
She’s a child and children ask questions. Often off the wall questions
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None of her business
i agree with dari its none of their business
It soothes him and his pediatrician is fine with him having it at this age. It’s really not a big deal. I wouldn’t have even let it bother me. Some babies don’t like pacifiers, 2/3 of mine didn’t, so many none of her kids used them so she’s just not educated about it and was asking. Kind of ridiculous that it bothers you that much.
Idk what is dummy is… but my son is turning 4 in August and has a collection of sloths he need to bring almost everywhere. At least his fav is with us every time we leave but for day care all of them go in his back pack😂 this is just 4 he has 6 of them😂
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Should’ve just said, “his dummy, I’ll wean him off when I don’t want my sanity anymore”
Then just left it at that.
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Well its normal to breast feed until over a year, pacifiers mimick a nipple for comfort- so… 8 months? Thats insane to assume he’s too old for it.
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Tell them to mind there on damn business there is no set rule book to raise a child so it’s just personal opinionated judgement in there part I would have puck my child up and said to them in would rather my child wasn’t exposed to judgemental asses as they are but that’s just me ,
You do not have to explain your parenting to anyone.
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My son is almost 2 and still takes his… Its his comfort. Your child your call! Raise him how u want… 
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Jist explain what a pacifier is to her.
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Gotta go, my monkey, not my circus. Bye.
He’s 8 months old tell her to mind her business.
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l Get paid over $ 145 per h0ur working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $19597 a m0nth doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.
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By dummy do you mean pacifier if so he’s still young enough to use one
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I divorced my dummy.
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I’d tell her to fu,ck off lol
Don’t you just love it when other parents tell you how to parent …mind your own business b,itch lol 
Because he’s only 8 months old and he likes it.
It’s a bad habbit for kids, 8 months is not too old however,
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he is 8 months old!! That is totally normal for him to have a binki for comfort and mind you a (child) is asking you that question. all it is is curiosity and or lack of knowledge… thats how kids learn!
nothing to stress over 
kids say crazy shit sometimes and i would personally consider this to be a very mild case of one. But Just kindly enlighten her and say “well he is a little baby still and when babies get tired or irritable some babies need something to help sooth their emotions” her reply would probably be on the lines of “oh okay” and thats the end of that.
At the end of the day you gotta prepare yourself that everyone parents differently not all babies use or like binki’s and kids will always be kids
I would have given her a F/Y look!!!
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They are kids they didn’t understand, Just explain different kids have different needs for security. 
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I would have said bc I choose to, bc he’s MY son to parent.
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He’s only 8 months??
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Because I’m his momma. My son is 6yrs and still carries around his blanket and his minnie mouse he had since he was a baby. He won’t sleep without it. He will get so upset if he forget it at his dad’s and I will drive the hour trip in the middle of the night to get it for him. Why Because I’m momma and my sould bleeds when he gets upset.
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What does it look like.
2 out of my 4 kids had an all consuming love affair with their “plug” a whole lot longer than 8 months(22/24 months). Didn’t hurt them and the orthodontist made out like a bandit on 3 of them anyway. The only one that didn’t have to have braces was one of the 2 that loved a plug!Your son is only 8 months old and if he wants his dummy that’s fine. You’ve done nothing wrong and ignore anyone (in the real world or online) that says otherwise. This mouthy mom shamer needs to stay in her lane. It was NONE of her business. Calling you out for something she deemed wrong made her feel superior and you less than. That’s unacceptable. As a young mom I probably would’ve been shocked into silence as well. Now as a grandmother who takes no cr@p I’d have articulately and firmly shut her down completely. So completely that she’d think long and hard before shaming another mother. Probably would’ve enjoyed it a tad too much too. I don’t tolerate bullies at all. Don’t give mouthy mom or her comments a 2nd thought. Enjoy your precious son and ignore all the unsolicited advice from the “perfect” moms out there!
***Btw there are NO perfect moms. Despite what their parents may say there are no perfect kids either.
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I wish my kid would have taken one lmao he was a boob baby all the way so he never cared for them, I was the pacifier instead 
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I mean, just answer the question just like any other conversation and move on
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I would’ve just said he likes it. My oldest kid had one for a long time and if she didn’t she sucked her thumb until her thumbnail became weird.
I would of reacted by telling them what it is… what’s wrong with kids asking questions?
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My 4yr old sucks his thumb and my 3yr old still breastfeed to pacify themselves so it happens, answer the way u see fit no big deal
Tell her sorry to affend you but these are my kids and that the way we roll
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You just need to answer people like you’re dumb, when they ask dumb questions. “Oh, that’s a pacifier. You should google it, it’s pretty common. “ If she still continues with why your child needs one. You just need to shut her down with all the other well meaning opinionated moms with this pat answer. “I’ve discussed it with my child’s pediatrician and they’ve said it’s fine and completely normal, thanks anyway!!!”
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