A behavioral institution maybe your only hope. I don’t mean to be rude but my son has the same problems he is 6 years old and he is going to behavioral therapy and counseling if you need anything please don’t hesitate to reach out
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Therapist… Just let them know ahead of time that hes been known to spin tall tales. Dont give that up bc of one doc that didn’t work out.
Also, kids anger management is great and very under-utlized. My kid needed it. Shes awesomesauce now.
Do he have any extracurriculars or rec sports or anything other than school and home? If not he may benefit from having an outlet like that.
Most therapist know signs of lying and expect kids with behavior issues to lie. Find a therapist, let them know ahead of time what his history is and then allow him to do his job. Also request family sessons as well…they are really helpful. I am speaking from experience and will say its a long road but over time u will start seeing changes.
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His mum gave him up. He probably thinks you will give up on him too. So he is throwing up walls to stop himself from loving another person
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I would bring him to a psychiatrist instead of a normal pediatrician and see what they say
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Have you thought about “Family base” … Im sure plenty of therapist offices offer it but its family based therapy, they come to your home and counsel every one in the home, they help the child in need along with siblings & parents to help them handle said child and how to cope with meltdowns, etc. I didnt do it personally but a friend with 5 children did it & it helped immensely!! They also do one on one with the child that needs it, they’ll do activities, family days in the park a bunch of different things!! It helps the child be more open with communication & helps the therapists find the right ways to help them 
May I ask how many medications?
Have him tested by psychiatry. Specific testing. Is it impulse control? ODD? Schizophrenia? Bipolar? Many MANY diagnosis could cause those behaviors. Also, have him tested for autism. If he has autism and gets triggered, his out bursts are him commumicating that he is overwhelmed. Keep trying meds with therapy. Also family or couples therapy. Stay strong in your marriage.
Also, I have found with my child, that therapists and counselors are like shoes. Some maybe too tight or too lose or just make you feel…not right. Try on another one. Keep trying them until you find your match. The RIGHT therapy will make all the difference.
Good luck and God bless.
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Yall need to take him to a psychiatrist. A pediatrician is not trained to deal with behavioral disorders, .it’s not what they were trained for. Their specialty is the body, not mental health issues. And as far as everyone saying it’s dad’s son, dad’s problem, I disagree. Yall need to represent a unified front. Let the child know yall are both on the same page as far as discipline and consequences. Also ypu can take a course to learn to properly restrain him if he tries to become physical with you again. Hope this helps. Good luck and prayers for yall
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First off he is YOUR son too. When you are with someone their child become part of your family. Saying stepson probably hurts his feelings. I know growing up it did mine
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If he is worse with one than the other it is a learned behavior and manipulation on his part…time to drop the hammer.
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He is a little narcissistic manipulator, he is going to drive you into a psychiatric institution. Part of loving him is getting him appropriate help.good luck
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Sounds like he is going to need behavioral therapy as well as family counseling. You can’t just give up because he tells lies. You have to keep on it. It’s scary but the only way to get him the help he needs. Also maybe his meds need to be adjusted?
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Please seek help for him. This is a child, always remember that. He has been through trauma and abandonment. Please educate yourself on childhood truama and behavioral disorders, this will help with understanding when it’s a call for help and not taking his behaviors personally against you. I would highly recommend seeking a developmental therapist. Medicines can be a difficult path, but once the right ones are found that work chemically with his design, it helps. Please see yourself as this baby’s advocate, not his enemy.
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For one pharmecuticals are gonna mess him up even worse long term. Ashwaganda and turmeric capsules will work better then any pharmecuticals. CBD is another option as well. Get him off the drugs to heal his brain and body chemistry and then start taking away priveledges when he acts out. He can read books in his room if he wants to be disrespectful. Also make some time to play board games and have one on one time with him. He could be acting out because he isnt getting enough love and attwntion.
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This probably has something to do with the separation of his father and mother and he doesn’t know any other way to deal with it? There’s always an underlying reason why children act out… Medication wouldn’t do anything for emotional traumatic issues… Or something else happens to him as a child that you all don’t know about. Sit down and actually talk to him about why he acts out this way if you haven’t already.
A behavior specialist and therapy.
I agree with him probably having ODD as well. Taking games away until they are earned. Definitely trying a sport. Even horse back riding has worked wonders in my niece who has ADHD, ODD and impulse control issues.
Look into an emotional disability label. You can message me directly for more advice or info. He sounds like the students I work with now
Ok it sound like oppositional defiant disorder , and or intermittent explosive disorder. Finding the right med combos are a pain. Family councilng , group therapy, art therapy and seeing psychiatrist are all going to help but if you are willing to be in it for the long haul you have to be tough. He needs an IEP, an individual education plan at school, he needs to be put in a smaller class for children with learning and behavioral issues. The teachers will be able to meet his needs better and give him one on one attention. You can have him see the school counselor and have a therapist come to see him at school as well. I know it is very hard! A lot of his behavior may be attention seeking and as long as he gets a rise out of you he is going to continue with his s behavior. There are therapeutic group homes for boys and girls with 24 hour staff. The kids go to school, go on outings and the older kids learn a trade and learn to care for them selves when they are of age. The learn how to cook and clean and pay bills and have relationships. These homes are preventative measures taken so the kids have a fighting chance in life with their disorders ,and learn coping skills so they don’t end up in prison or have a criminal record. I know it sounds cruel and harsh but these services and establishments are there to help our kids in ways we can’t. Sometimes our last resorts are hospitalization. I personally went through this with my middle daughter who will be 19 in March. She has a laundry list of disorders. ODD, IED, ADHD, PTSD, depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, and borderline personality disorder. Last month she tried to kill her self with a box cutter, she took 15 stitches on her arm . It looked like chicken fat exploded out of her arm. Before that it was a box cutter to her throat, several overdoses, and two hangings. Fighting, hurting people, cruelty to animals, stealing, and doing drugs. At this time right now you have the chance to really get him all the help you can. There is out patient therapy, day programs and alternative schooling, if you have to home school and hold his hand all damn day do it and make sure he knows you and his father aren’t going to back down and you won’t tolerate his behavior. At home make him a behavior chart according to your rules and expectations. Use stickers or stars your preference, and if he has followed through at the end of the week let him choose treat but also let him know that he can lose his stickers or stars when he doesn’t behave, remind him that you understand how he feels but you expect him to follow the house rules and act like a big boy and if he wants to act like a baby then he can’t do big boy things and play with big boy toys. Sit down with your son and his father and have a family meeting. Write down anything and everything pertaining to the issue at hand and how you want to resolve it. Include your son’s input and opinion , he needs to feel involved as well and make sure you tell him that you do love him ! I hope this helps I really do !!
Meds should be a last option in kids. Their brains are not fully developed yet. Persistent therapy, every adult being on the same page, consistency and structure will go a long way. Im not saying stop meds, im not a doctor and he isnt under my care. But i can almost guarantee there is a deep physiological issue that he is hiding. If he wasnt taught as a small child how to deal with his emotions, he is just dealing with it how he knows best. LOVE, love goes a long way. Hes not too old, there is plenty of time to help him grow into a functioning adult. My dad left when i was little, there’s abandonment issues i deal with. I couldnt imagine my mom handing me off but yet still being there some. He is probably harder on you than dad because you are a woman and he feels he will get away with more. I send mine to their room to chill out. The youngest(hes 3) his temper is worse than the others. He will break stuff. Best thing to do, is explain its ok to be mad and upset. But we cant explode, cant be ugly and hurt others or break things and have to use our words to explain whats going on and what needs to be done to fix it. Chances are, he has witnessed the behavior and the person had no consequences for their actions.
He needs a aba therapist.
Check the meds. Some meds out there have side effects of anger or aggressive… my daughter was on different meds. The one made her more angery then she usually was. Sounds like he needs an evaluation. And I have experienced that with my daughter. She has same actions. That if I yell or get angry and it shows it make her worse. It is hard but speak with a Stern voice but loving voice. Prayers… 