How should we split assets after we break up?

You get a lawyer which you can request he pay for you along with attorney make list for what you feel you want or need for you & the children not what he says you can have It does sounds as if he is involved with someone else it won’t last she will eventually drop him any woman who gets involved with a man attached to another woman is up to no good with her interest at hand no body else let him learn his lesson hope you learn from this also don’t allow a man to treat you in this manner you & children deserve way better keep doing what you know to be right for you and kids cut your loss keep head held high don’t ever let a man control your life been there when much Younger it’s not you it’s him Best of luck to you and kids be strong you can do this I did you never know how strong you are until you have to be better days ahead

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You get half!!! Don’t let him dictate to you what you should get…don’t be a doormat honey…take half!!!

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Just had a friend go through this same thing awhile back, she had to leave the home which her name was on and take her kids to am temporary place until it was agreed that she and their children got to move back in. He took everything he wanted and nothing she could do about it. They wasn’t married, they was together for years and had 2 children together.
She had to get a lawyer to get things in order to have her and the kids home back. So as already stated… you should speak with a lawyer

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Well no one person needs 3 cars, take 1 (or 2) or some tools and sell it for furniture money. You should not have to leave with nothing either. It’s okay thy you care for him but you now need to also care for yourself and kids. That doesn’t mean you have to be heartless, but you do need to be firm

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Kick him out change the locks! Do not let him enter the house anymore! Get a lawyer!! Ignore all contact with him until its all over. Drain his bank account bc its yours as well and you’ve got kids by him. File temporary child custody so he can not take your children from thats the first thing I would do! Got to be strong with a back bone and no heart! He wouldn’t be taking anything g from me!

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Who ever continues to raise the children, should without doubt keep the house,and furniture.the one that’s going it alone, should only take what’s personally there’s.thats my opinion.

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What more can you say he is a narcistic man.
What is your states common law say about it. Don’t play his game get what you deserve and then some. Wake up.

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Get a restraining order and change your locks. First, if you share a bank account go close it out. Go get a divorce started so that you will retain custody and can get the ball rolling for child support. Pack his clothes and personal belongings in a trash bag and set them out side the door. Don’t look back and don’t make choices to make it easy on him lieu of your kids. Divorce is a shit show and you will be drug through the mud so you may as well throw some at him.

Oh yeah, ignore the orders that say don’t sell this or that joint property…blah,blah, blah. If he wants or claims it sell it. You won’t be in trouble. They treat divorces and deaths the same and they literally will let him carry your shit off.

He shouldn’t want to leave his kids with nothing! Take him for everything he has! Fuck being nice!

It depends on your state, some don’t allow common in law to split or take anything you didn’t pay for no matter how many years together.

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STOP BEING SAD! Sad people will get run over and taken advantage of. Get mad!!! Fight for what you want and may need! Fight him like he’s never seen you fight. You are not a doormat!

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In my opinion, things (like furniture) are split up this way:
-Items that belonged to him go with him.
-Items that belong to you, go with you.
-Items that are “together” items should be split unless there is a logistical problem- ie he doesn’t have a place to store crockpots, pots and pans, shit like that and he’s not going to be a dick about it. Also the fact yall have kids, he should leave for their common use.
-If an item comes with a bill, whoever keeps it is responsible for that bill. This can be tricky though if something has a loan on it.

Ok so first and foremost the courts will say you deserve half everything so just go with that if it gets dirty well you know his schedule and when he leaves the house. Not saying it’s right by any means but hey sometimes desperate times come with desperate measures.

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TALK TO AN ATTORNEY! Or if he leaves for a night or something do a midnight move ! Take what you need and go . Put it in storage or keep it at a family member’s home if possible, make sure you trust who you disclose to what your plans are !

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If you’re not married you are only entitled to what you bought. If you paid the bills but he bought the furniture, you are not entitled to the furniture. Same with the kid’s stuff. If he bought it and can show he did so you won’t be able to take it and will just have to buy your own for your place.

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Do like i did my first time around ! Call a moving company up and have them move everything while he is at work. Take all you want and be done with it before he gets home from work! At least there was no arguing doing it that way. He may be upset but he will get over it! Some states you can get spousal support plus child support. So you need to ask a lawyer a lot of questions.

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You take what you brought in to the relationship. If your married get a lawyer.

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I would pack all of his things while he is at work and leave them on a porch, change the locks, he wants it to be over ? That’s fine no problem, he can go, kids need a stable home and there is no way in hell I would make my kids move and transfer schools because of his selfishness.
But that’s me .

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Why should you leave with kids? Kick his ass out.

If you are not married and you moved in with him even if you’ve been with him 18 years, you can take what you brought 18 years ago. Sorry, but you didn’t think this through when you got together.

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I literally took just my stuff and he still went through stole my jewelry and my old coins and money nothing court could do community property. Take what you want and the big ticket items like land house and things that are joint ask for in mediation or he pay you for half.

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Law is 50/50 … if he can’t compromise you need to seek legal aid. It will only get messy because he wants his cake and eat it to.

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I wouldn’t even bother. I would sleep on the floor before, I fight with him about used furniture. Anyway when you get your new place, new furniture is always good. If you can’t afford to buy a lot just buy the basics until you can buy the rest. You sound like a good person with a good spirit. Don’t let him bring you out of your character. In due time you will find someone to love you correctly. All the best !!!

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I think he sounds like a narcissist and you might have to battle but you should definitely be splitting up assets. If it’s going to be a problem I’d wait til he’s gone and go in with a crew (friends and fam etc) and take everything you need in one go. He will be mad and he will rage, but that’s about it. That’s probably the only way you will get what you deserve. You don’t seem vindictive so I don’t think you’d take things he needs or that are obviously his but definitely get what’s yours and the kids, those things aren’t his or yours they belong to your children.

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Who’s name is on the lease? If it’s you change the locks. If it’s him find a place and move while he’s working. I highly suggest finding a lawyer.

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I recommend calling a lawyer (consultations are free) and get legal advice. Know the laws and your rights.

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Get A Lawyer……like Yesterday!!!

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Is this a marriage breakup or long-term relationship breakup.
:woman_shrugging:t4:

Everything should be split. It would be best if he moved out so that the children had some stability but you don’t say if you can afford your current place on your own.

If you are short of cash, and who isn’t these days, search for a legal aid society online and look for a low cost lawyer. If you can’t find one, look for a County Bar Association. If that doesn’t work, go into your local family law courthouse and see if the clerk can refer you to someone who can help prepare a separation and child custody agreement.

It sounds like you are going to need help splitting things up reasonably and fairly. You may have custody and child support issues, too. It is best to get those all written out and filed with the court so that you have something g just in case he creates problems.

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If you’re not married no need to call a lawyer just start getting your stuff out little by little without telling him and then your last day when he goes to work have power movers move all your kids stuff and whatever you want when he comes back you’re gone that’s probably the only way you’re going to get your stuff out peacefully had two friends that had to do it that way but you better make sure you get it all out

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Let it go mom it’s really not worth the fight, and in the end the kids will be affected by it. If all those material things will make him happy and if that’s what will help him sleep at night then let him keep it, after 18 years and he still feels the need to do this to you only tells me that he still has alot of growing up to do. Besides sounds to me like you deserve a fresh start. It’s best to leave ALL baggage behind and start over, don’t take those memories with you, leave the past where it belongs and have faith in God for He WILL provide all that you need… :pray: :raised_hands:

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Take it all its all yours and the kids need there stability you are not wrong don’t be stupid and don’t be fair he will eat his cake and eat it too so you have the kids do not make it hard on your self!! I’m sure he wouldn’t care if u n kids were homeless he would still try n take from u if u were homeless!!! Take what is yours and kids come first :100::100::100::100::100::100:

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Me and my wife separated and I told her she could take whatever she wanted and I’d split our debt in half and pay half of it. That’s what you’re supposed to do right?

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I would split everything 50/50, but the kids get their stuff.
If you only have one of each big item (fridge, washing machine, couch, tv etc) then split it by cost. One of you take the fridge, one take the washing machine, one take the couch, one take the tv etc.

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Find a place for you and your children. Take your personal items , your children’s things and the appliances. Your children will need clean clothes a refrigerator to store their perishable food and a stove to cook it on. I am a senior and I will tell you all those inert possession that he is left with is what will surround him. He thinks now that is what is important but family is everything. You can replace a couch and chair a dining table but those children are the most important thing in the world and he is a darn fool. I hope when he is old and needs someone those cars and tools and furniture give him comfort.

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Question? Is your name on the rental contract or his or both?

Take kids stuff and yours. Yes furniture, cars, everything should be split equally, you should be able to have things to at least, start your new journey with. But, pick your battles. I took all decor, pics of kids, dining room matching set, etc. I left dishes and went and bought new, was more things also, that I chose to buy new. You could always move out what he’s agreeing for you to take and move the things you want, while he’s at work. That worked for me also, then there wasnt any arguing

Take kids things leavevrest walk away start over. … Nothing is worth fighting over if the fighting is why your leaving. Let him see his children when they want. Take time for you to help you heal. Don’t be a wall between him and children
You’ll be Blessed far more in the end

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He’s selfish, it should be divided 50-50

Unfortunately she never said they were married.

If you pay the rent kick his ass to the curb.