My almost ten-year-old daughter has struggled with adhd and anxiety since the age 4. She’s having super tough days at school all the sudden and ends up having panic attacks at school so bad I have to pick her up. I can always settle her down then she’s completely back to normal. My question for you mamas that have kids in school with those issues any recommendations to help her make it through the fulll day of school. She is on medication and her Therpist and I think maybe she grew out of the meds working because it’s worked the last almost two years and then all the sudden bam back track to behavior we’ve seen when she was younger. Just have to wait for my appointment with her psychiatrist. Also tips of boosting a almost ten years self esteem? She’s dealt with bullies at a young age and I think it’s really gotten to her. Anyway thanks
Make sure her iron is where it should be & magnesium!
Find good coping mechanisms and do them with her and when she calms down, sit down with her and tell her that she can do those things at school too, to help calm her down. Let her know that it’s normal and she’ll be okay but remind her that she can also cope by herself or with teachers at school.
Does she have an IEP?
A growth spurt definitely can require a higher dose or different medication. Has she started entering puberty yet? This could also play a role physiologically and with bullies at school.
Girls who develop early get bullied; boys who develop early get positive attention. Find out if she’s getting any bullying at school related to development.
Otherwise, what are her talents and interests? Having a hobby she loves and excels at can bolster self-esteem. Sports can help. Art, theater, music, community service, anything where she feels in her element. Running boosted my self-esteem a lot in high school. I was a mediocre distance runner, but my coach inspired and pushed me and I found my niche.
Extracurricular activities are great for self-esteem, if you find good ones. Both my girls were with an amazing pageant system called America’s best pageants and they got a huge self esteem boost. Both also cheered (did have a run in with a bad coach tho). And my youngest foes gymnastics now. Being constantly cheered on, and told how amazing you are does great things for kids. My oldest is 15, youngest is 9, and no one can convince them they aren’t smart and beautiful.
A weighted blanket has helped my daughter
This absolutely works!! My daughter uses this method.
The human brain cannot handle anxiety and significantly sour items in the mouth at the same time. Carry lemon drops and whatever sour candy… when she feels the start of the anxiety attack, she needs to pop one in her mouth and focus on the sour and her breathing.
There are meds that you can try, but this is the one thing that has worked for my daughter.
Could be P.A.N.D.A.S.
Im going through the same at the moment, she has a teacher (seperate from her class) who does work with her every week on confidence/self esteem. We have self confidence books that you fill in, theres loads on amazon, she started kickboxing recently which has been amazing for her self confidence and the trainers are briliant which has helped as she recieves lits of positive feedback.We are waiting for a CAMHs appointment ourselves xx
Can the school sort a plan for when it happens? A quiet place to go to calm down? My son is the same and can excuse himself and go sit in the principals office until he’s right to go back to class. They pull him out of class to do odd jobs if they notice he’s having a bad day
Have her hormones checked, if she is staring puberty she will need her meds adjusted I found out when my eldest hit puberty also puberty hormones on top of anxiety is dreadful to deal with.
Often the child’s growth spurt occurs prior to the scheduled Paediatric visit … can become more wakeful, less able to concrntrate, may forget basic skills… teeth brushing, nose blowing, hair brushing, toilet flushing. Previously mastered competent social skills may waver…interrupting others, not greeting, forgetting basic manners, pushing and shoving others when these may have all be well mastered.
Your competent Paediatrician should be able to reevaluate medications to align with current behaviours. Please get seen as it is so hard on the children who are so affected…almost puts them back to where they were before their medication enabled them to function at a more manageable level. Good luck.
My 13 yr old is going through this also since the beginning of the school year, I wish I knew I’m just as lost as you💜
ADHD medicine does cause anxiety and very bad anxiety at that. Maybe take her off of the speed and see what happens. You don’t want to up that dose. Being on ahdh medication gave me severe panic attacks as a child even though my parents took me off of it for noticing how awful it made me feel and be in general.
Sounds like my childhood. Try a cup of soda along with her meds. Caffeine helps those with ADHD calm down for some time, but she will feel tired and want to sleep after awhile at school, so send some mini cans of soda to her nurse and tell her why.
It’s not her fault she has ADHD or anxiety. I have both plus depression and panic attacks. It’s hard on me and my husband because I’m constantly asking to be reassured.
Let your daughter know that your proud of her too. And as for her bullies, tell the school. I handled my bullies after they tried to pick on my friends. I sent them crying only with words tho. But them picking on my friends was my breaking point. Try not to let her bullies get to her breaking point and help her get away from them.
I pray everything will be ok
From an anxiety she could try something called “Grounding” if she’s out for Eg, tell her to spot 3 white cars, after she’s done they spot 4 trees and so on. If she’s in school do the same but with objects in the room like pencils, or books. I really hope she gets the help she needs. Try a weighted blanket for when she goes to sleep. It could encourage a deeper more relaxed sleep so she’s not so anxious when she’s awake.
As for bullies I would have a word with the school & teachers and keep at them until it’s nipped in the bud. No child should ever be bullied! It’s sad and heartbreaking.
Does she like sports? I was kindof big/odd/akward girl at that age( later in life ive been diagnosed). Sports is what i was good at then. My parents took me to kungfu, baseball, volleyball. I didnt do well at basketball wasnt good sport about it. Martial arts can be really good for kids. She would prob be more confident about bullies if she was more confident in herself
This isn’t to bash anyone. Who would diagnose a 4 year old with ADHD? 4 year Olds aren’t meant to be still. Please help me learn why a 4 year old would be diagnosed, I just don’t understand.
Homeschool. Join a Homeschool pod in your area.
Get the book Confidence Code. You can find it on Amazon. It’s written for girls and set up sort of like a comic book, but wordier.
You could talk to the counselor or ESS teacher at her school to see if they have any suggestions. Breaks, or something of the sort. I struggled hard with anxiety back then, not knowing it was anxiety. I thought I had severe stomach issues but they couldn’t find anything but now as an adult I know 100% it was anxiety, and it sucks. Hugs to your girl and good luck!
I would talk with her doctor first. My almost 14 year old has ADHD and Anxiety plus a few other things. We started meds around 2nd grade because her impulse control was non existent and she was struggling so bad. With her struggling that much, she may need a different med or to up the dose. I would also talk about something that will help with the anxiety as well as the ADHD. My daughter is on one that helped with both.
I would also talk with the school counselor and see about a 504 plan. For my daughter she has special things she can do if she needs it… going to the counselors office to have a break. Listening to music that she brings things like that. If there are things that calm your daughter down you all can try to accommodate that.
Is she in sports or does she have a special interest? I would look into trying to get her into something that she excels in or that she really likes. That may help boost her confidence and esteem.
My concern would be what is going on at school that is causing this? You say it had just started all of a sudden, so what has changed? Yes, there are many factors. But if she is having panic attacks at school, I would start there.
Medication dosage may be off due to growth or need to try new meds.
They have plans called a 504 plan. Idk if they are federal or state issued plans. They help with having a safe place. More time for assignments, special places that a child can take a test and they are specific for said child. There are more advanced plans for children with more advanced problems too. I would start by talking to her school counselor. They will point you in the right direction and get things started on their end. You will need paper work from her therapist but it is a relatively easy process
If she was doing good for 2 years and all of a sudden she’s not look into what may have happened at school recently. (Bullies, etc…)
I put my son in sports and we adjust his medications especially now that puberty is in full swing
Daily aspirations. Every single morning go stand in the mirror together and have her copy everything you say until she learns to do it herself. I do this with my 4 year old daughter and have her say ali is beautiful, ali is intelligent, ali is going to do amazing things, and so on. You can cater it to whatever your situation is. I whole heartedly believe that if you tell yourself these things enough you will believe and achieve it. My daughter loves doing it as well and has the biggest smile the entire time and always tells me she loves me so much and gives me lovins afterwards. She has even got to the point she will say these things to me and do it throughout the day
I would try a good CBD oil before any Ritalin. Ritalin has side effects you don’t think about. Like being incontinent of urine. Everybody different.
My 15 year old had to be put on anti anxiety meds on top of their adhd meds.
- I would talk to the school about a behavioral IEP. This opens a lot of options for her when she is feeling upset. Anything from having a support teacher being with her all day to simply a safe place for her to go to when she is feeling overwhelmed.
- Try to find her an after school activity she would like. Girl scouts tends to be very welcoming and if money is an issue you can fill out an app on thier website to have them cover the costs.
- Have a weekly “self care” day for her. This could be anything from a bubble bath, to shopping for a new shirt, to picking out dinner.
I’m struggling with this with my 10 year old son. I have been working on finding the good in everything with him. Ex’s… Gets question wrong… “well buddy you can scratch that answer off cause you just learned it isn’t that one”… Breaks something… “Well at least I know now that one isn’t unbreakable, we will have to try and one that is”… more of a glass half full perspective. I’m also the annoying mom who has constant contact with the teacher and I’m not afraid to ask what happened with A B C… It hasn’t be a fix all but it has helped
Ask the school about a 504 plan. Also yea she prob needs a little med adjustment, totally normal. I have to adjust mine about every 2-3 yrs. I did some DBT worksheets with my girl when she was struggling, it doesn’t specifically help with self esteem but it does help with coping with being overwhelmed or intrusive thoughts etc etc.
We are going thru the same thing in our school district I am actually a low income family and I am going to put her in a Catholic school praying it helps all the situations u have listed. This is so sad to hear. You aren’t alone
Taekwondo classes help some children with low self esteem talk to an instructor and see if they will let you try them
Thank you everyone i appreciate all your answers.
Art. Take her to
The craft store and see what she likes. Maybe it’s animals, have her volunteer at the local animal shelter. Might be music, she interested in any instruments?
My son has dealt with a lot of bullying at school. I found that finding a sport or hobby for him has really boosted his self esteem! Unfortunately, his bully was also in his scout group but has since moved. My son started tennis and it seems to really boost his self confidence!
Try to be really encouraging and gentle in your words. I tend to yell and I’m working really hard on breaking that as I can see how much it upsets my son. If you can find a private school that’s affordable or get her a scholarship, smaller class sizes help boost one on one interactions. If not, I would at least try to get a plan in place with the school (504, etc.)
Good luck Mama!
She’s 10. Her hormones are changing and that will effect meds.
That said, her therapist should be able to give her tools to calm herself. If they aren’t, find her one that does. Also, discuss triggers. In this world, ppl aren’t going to be able to avoid them all but recognizing them and being prepared for them can make a world of difference. If there’s anything school can do, invopve them and her teacher. If she has any friends, ask their parents to help. They can help their kids realoze an attack and help get her to a teacher or to a quiet place, if outside. This way she doesn’t feel alone or embarrassed.
It always takes a village 
Meditation at the start of her day to help her face her day and prayer so she knows she can look to God when she is without you. Affirmations of how precious she is to him and if she is feeling anxious tell her Gods angels are always watching over her and will come swiftly to help her. Arohānui =much love