Seeking advice on changing child’s last name.
Backstory: My current husband and I have been together since January 2016. He has been a huge part of my son’s life starting in June 2016 when we moved in together, soon but due to school and finances, it was the best decision for us. We have been married since June of 2018. My son’s biological father (who I married right out of high school and separated in November 2015-when our son was about 8months old) has been in and out of his life, up until about a year ago he rarely exercised his supervised visitations…he would go up to the abandonment period then ask for a visit and not show up for a few more months frequently. Even before the divorce, I was our son, primary caretaker. This year my ex has been fairly consistent with almost weekly supervised visits (he stays about 2-3.5 hours on Sundays at my parents with our son) even though he has had more/longer opportunities and he only holds a fast-food job with part-time hours. But, the supervised visits are all he does to be a part of our son’s life while I and the current husband provide and care for our son completely. The ex-husband is notified of school activities, sports, has holiday opportunities that he skips, etc that he doesn’t attend. Doesn’t call our son or have any relationship outside of the supervised visits with him. I have complete decision making and 365 days with my son, but his biological dad still has parental rights and supervised visitation.
Question: Has anyone been through something similar and been successful getting a child’s last name changed to their current married name, especially in the state of Tennessee? Our son will be turning 5 in several months and will be starting school next year. I know my ex-husband will not willingly allow the change but would like to share my name and my husband’s due to us completely doing everything for him and so he will not feel different or left out of our family especially having a baby coming soon. Thank you all in advance, and please save harsh words as this is definitely something not decided upon lightly.
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Without his permission or no contact or child support paid for at least a year they will not allow you to change it unfortunately.
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Sorry but you can’t as long as his biological father has his rights
If his biological father objects you won’t be able to change his name.
Unfortunately without the bio dad’s consent, or disappearance from the picture a court will not change a childs name
It doesn’t really matter how you feel about the amount of time spent, your husband is still not your child’s father. His name shouldn’t be changed unless his father agrees to it.
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Have a consultation with an attorney, but I think unless he gives up his rights and then your husband adopted him. That Would maybe be the only way. The court will never agree to just the name change because he only follows the visitation order.
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Nope Biological father must be ok with the change an sign it off. Even if you have custody that’s still his child no matter what you have go through him in order to change it. An If he says No than you Can’t change it.
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So what happens if this new marriage ends in divorce…
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I believe your ex would have to willingly give up parental rights then your husband could adopt him. But otherwise no
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I just remarried my girls step father. I kept my previous married name so I would have the same name as my kiddos. Their bio dad is still around, but also flakey.
The name doesn’t matter. Your son will know, soon enough, who was there for him.
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If bio dad objects then you’ll need to take it to court. My question is this…you say he doesn’t have a relationship outside of the supervised visits but he obviously can’t have much of a relationship if his visits are supervised…so you can’t really fault him for that, can you? Let him have regular visits and see if his relationship changes.
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Biological father will have to give consent to change last name.
I allowed my the people who raced my son to keep his dad’s last. Name and added thers so he wouldn’t feel left out
You can have the name hyphenated but must go through the court system
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My first husband has 2 children from his first marriage and the ex wanted to change the last names cause the children were going to be adopted by the new husband she couldn’t change the children names unless the father gave up his rights to the children and he lived in Massachusetts
A child’s name doesn’t reflect who “does stuff” for him. Have you asked your son how he feels? I would understand if you were maybe married to your recent husband for longer, but changing a child’s name is a big deal. No offense, but obviously you married your first husband and gave your son that last name, so why change his name now to reflect your current husband? What if it doesn’t work out? Atleast his dad is trying to see him. He could’ve ran off for good and not attempted at all…
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You can get a court order to have it hyphenated at best. The issue is that even a father that is barely there is still LEGALLY his father.
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Just add your husbands name to ur sons fill out all papers with both last names he doesn’t have to use his Dads name but it will b there
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If hes seeing child regularly a judge wont be willing to allow it tried this in California judge said no way
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Bio dad has to be 100% on board with it. He usually has to sign some kind of document stating the last name change is ok. But to be honest…its just a name. It doesnt mean much. It only does if you press it too hard. My niece and nephew both have different last names from my sister, and from each other. They know who’s who and what’s what. Regardless on how YOU feel, that’s his father. I never grew up with my dad. He left before I was born. I have his last name and it’s fine. I love my last name. I now have a great relationship with him and my step mother.
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In New Zealand most forms have preferred name or Aka on them. So we are able to change the child’s name for their day to day lives but not legally without other parents consent
It’s just a name. It’s only a big deal if you make it a big deal. Your son will only feel left out because of it if you make him feel left out. You don’t need to change his last name and I think your gonna end up just wasting everyone’s time and money if you take it to court to get his name changed
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It sounds like he’s trying to be involved with his son, but not have anything to do with you. If he’s still involved you can’t just change the name because it’s not yours anymore. Your name can change with every new dude, he has one dad.
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He would fight you on the name change. Get an attorney.
He would have to relinquish his parental rights and then a step parent adoption would have to be done.
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I think you need to wait until your son is old enough to decide for himself. This isn’t about you or hubby, it’s about your son.
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You didn’t say anything about him being abusive. Why the supervised visits? Let the child have a relationship with his father, without all the hurtles he has to fight to. I hope he fights to keep it.
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No… you probably won’t be able to change it… yes it’s only for a couple hours on Sunday… but he’s still being a dad…even if it’s a crappy one. sounds to me like you just want him completely out… and move on like he was never around… He’ll never sign over his rights… I wouldn’t either, gosh I wish I could hear his side of this story… I’m sure it would sound a hell of alot different… it always does, I pray a judge doesn’t change it
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Why would you want to change it? He is partly his dad’s child too. Meaning he has heritage and family history that his last name attaches him to. My ex bf was an abusive drug addicted alcoholic (he became this way wasn’t originally this way), and out daughter has his last time. She is part Indian and his last name helps tie her into her heritage. For some it is just a name but it means different things to other people. My ex is in/out of jail for drugs public intox, domestic and non domestic abuse. I left him when I was 8 months prego. He doesn’t get to see his daughter at all bc of his actions. But that doesn’t mean she’s not still part of him. You can call a rose by any other name, but it’s still a rose. Meaning you can change his last name if his dad is willing but he’s still part of his dad…nothing can ever change that.
This poor girl is asking for advice kind advice! The dad seems to want the control he o ly shows up to 2 hrs visits ?? She says he is notified of all other activities so she is not trying to keep him out! But a child should not have to grow up wondering why their dad doesn’t want to be part of their lice or why they weren’t good enough… he is holding on so a new dad cant step in and be the adoptive dad that this boy needs! And a person doesn’t just get supervised visits the judge must of ruled on it so that means he is not trusted to be alone with his son!! I say fight for that boy to have a dad who wants to be there 100 percent 24/ 7… or keep fighting for real dad to be more in his life as moms we have to fight for our kids no matter what!! He will either open his eyes or maybe give you what you want if you keep fighting like a momma bear!! Your son deserves a dad who wants to be a 100 percent dad not a 2.5 he a week dad
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If he has parental rights I would think he would have to sign off on a name change. What’s even the point? Do it later on down the line when your son is older if it’s important to him but don’t make it about you or your new husbands feelings. I wouldn’t dream of doing that to my son without it being because he loves and has genuine respect for my husband.
I am in TN. I’m almost certain that you will have to have bio dads approval for this unless his parental rights are terminated.
A name dosen’t make you who your are,or any less of a family member.
Dad’s probably gonna fight you over it, I dont know both sides of the story so I suggest just let your child choose when he is old enough and let him form his own opinion on his biological father and just let him know his last name dosen’t make him any less of your family or less loved.
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If you have full custody you can then change it without his permission.