Hi, I recently had an early miscarriage at about 4 weeks pregnant. I’ve felt very supported by my friends, especially my mom friends. However, I haven’t felt supported from my spouse. The day we found out, he was great and didn’t leave my side. Since then, I feel more and more alone. Any advice on this subject. Or how to effectively communicate how I’m feeling with him? I don’t want it to seem like an attack and he gets very defensive. But I’m feeling really depressed and alone.
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Men process things differently than we do. All of my early losses never effected my husband. So I always felt like he was being unsupportive. My late loss effected him greatly. In my case my husband wasn’t as emotionally attached to the baby at 4 weeks as I was. He never let himself Bc the percentage of a miscarriage is so high early on. I just had to understand the way he was feeling about things
Hes probably hurting just as bad. I went through 2 misscariges at 17 and 16 weeks and now that I’m pregnant with this baby (21.1 weeks) he wont hardly touch me. He wont say that hes scared to get close but I have to see things from both sides.
I have gone through this exact same thing. In my case I’m still not sure that it impacted my husband the same as it did me. It took me almost 4 years to come to the conclusion that in my case it wasn’t that he wasn’t supporting me he just wasn’t sure how to be strong for me and not seem weak because of his own pain at the lose. He supported me the best he but didn’t want me to know how bad he felt because he was afraid it would compound my pain. I have no doubt your SO loves you and is trying to process what you’ve both gone through.