I have had it for 8 years now. My first outbreak was so bad as well. Like I couldn’t even walk. I went to the doctor and they cut into one of the sores thinking it was an ingrown hair which cause it to spread like wild fire. The outbreaks do get better. I haven’t had one in a year or so now and when it does happen I feel it coming on way ahead a time.
I have been honest with everyone I have been with and with being honest it has never cause any issues. I have had two beautiful boys vaginally with no spreading to them and I have not given it to anyone. You just have to know your body (you will learn the triggers too) and know when an outbreak is coming so you can be smart about it.It’s really more common then you think!
You got this!
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I have a family member who had the same situation and went on to have a husband and 3 more healthy vaginal births and children 
As long as you take the meds it should happen less and less as the years go on! And eventually you may not have another break out … hugsssss. 🫂 that news isn’t easy! But you will over come this!
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Leave. He’s not going to change.
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Please leave him, report him to you’re local health department, as an STD, carrier they will have it on record it will be public records for anyone caring to check.
I’d also make his family parents and close friends aware. This is nothing for you to be ashamed of. You’re the victim and youmight just save his next one.
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Honey, first of all I’m so sorry this happened to you. I know so many people with it, and all of them are in healthy loving relationships with beautiful children. Ik it feels like the end of the world, but it is a very very common thing and most people on here commenting probably have it and don’t know it yet! It can lay dormant for a very very very long time. Eat healthy, learn your triggers, love yourself and know that even though it feels like it it’s not the end of the world! What you do with your relationship is up to you, nobody can tell you the answer, but understand that this is a terrible thing that happened to you through no fault of your own and that there is light at the end of the tunnel and medicine to manage the symptoms.
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Love we live in 2021! You cna have a perfectly normal and healthy future romantic and sexual relationship as long as you follow your regimen and be mindful of your outbreaks. There are some studies that suggest that some diets can help decrease the amount of outbreaks you have but I’m not too savvy on which ones or how effective it is. You are more than your conditions and this does not make you less! To hell with him
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I’m so sorry your in pain. Herpes is manageable and pretty common.
But I would for sure get rid of him!
Clearly he was having unprotected sex with another.
Oh no… so sorry… You could actually file charges against him. And make him pay restitution and pain and suffering.
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My friend had this happen and said lidocaine is good for the pain. You will have to request a prescription from your doctor though.
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I cannot even begin to tell you how sorry I am. Honesty for further relationships is key and connecting with your health care provider to find out all you need to know. I also agree with others and would report him.
Not that this will make anything better……
But a lot of people either have stds or have done research and know it’s not a death sentence. A condom helps tremendously on the spread. It will all work out. Love is love.
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From what I hear, just don’t have sex when the blisters appear and when you don’t have the blisters, it’s safe to have sex but just have safe sex.
Good luck to you 
I would make his ass leave and go to the one that gave him STDs and you try to take care of yourself and do your treatments. Let his dead dog lay
The medications they have nowadays, you can live a pretty normal life, you just have to be up front and honest with the person your choosing to be with ofcourse. I know a few people that have it
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Leave you deserve better!! He’s a loser.
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Is herpes type two HPV? If so, it is very common. It can stay dormant for many years and most people that have it, do not even know it. Also, if you had ever been with anyone before him, you could have gotten it from them and not known it.
I do hate that this happened to you!
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I caught it after an ex went down on me with a cold sore:woman_facepalming: I never knew. I have had 2 outbreaks since then. And that was 12-13 years ago now. I have always been up front with a guy before I slept with them, dating or not. (I had a few one night stands with fwb when I was single) and ill tell you, not one guy gave a fuck:rofl:
I was never turned down. I’ve been with my fiance for 7 years now, no issues. Haven’t passed it to him. Didn’t pass it to my son. Just relax! The right one will love you, no matter what.
You need to leave this man. I know everyone says that under most of these posts but seriously. Same EXACT thing happened to me. Just count your blessings that what he gave you wasn’t life threatening and run away from that man.
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Next time he brings home HIV. Cut him loose.
Get a pap, tell your gyno what happened and they can screen your pap smears for HPV as well.
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Once a cheater, always a cheater. Leave
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I’m sure there’s fb support groups for herpes. So sorry this happened to you.
Some states have laws against knowingly/recklessly transmitting an STD. Maybe teach him his lesson by pressing charges?
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I’m pretty sure you can get charged pressed against him. I might be wrong, but this situation is sooo messed up. I’m soooo sorry.
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God bless Hope things change and go very well for you
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How to cope with betrayal and the fallout? - Mamas Uncut
Aww what a horrible person to do that to you and your kid 
there is someone way better out there that won’t treat you like that and risk your health
A similar situation happened to me , eith cheating and herpes. If you want we could private message and we can talk. I just know when it happened to me I wished I had done to talk with. You are not alone .
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How to cope with betrayal and the fallout? - Mamas Uncut
This happened with my police officer ex. Found out he was sleeping with 10+ women. First, hugs. Secondly, when you pee, pour cool water down there at the same time. It helps so much!!! Also future relationships or dates I’ve told them, not one guy cared because we used protection. I haven’t had an outbreak in 8 years. Also get checked out mine was so bad my pap was abnormal and I have dormant cervical cancer cells from it. Not to scare you, but be proactive and make sure you’re okay. The only way I found out was after I gave birth because your cells are raw. For anyone thinking this is TMI I’m sorry! Just wanted to let this momma know she is not alone and it does get better. 
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A DAD an a HUSBAND, are TWO different things, he is not a good HUSBAND, move on, no honesty, no trust, no commitment, = no relationship,no HUSBAND, get a NEW HUSBAND.
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do NOT stay with him just because of what you caught from him. It’s actually more common now a days so dating with it isn’t an issue.
As of right now, focus on getting yourself happy and healthy for your babies! Wish you the best of luck!
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Your dating life is absolutely not over. A friend of mine was diagnosed and yes it seems silly to worry about dating right now but your worries are very valid. The stigma around herpes is slowly starting to fade as people are starting to realize more than 80% of the population has type 1 or type 2. Please don’t let this be a reason you stay with him. He wasn’t sorry until he got caught. Remember that. The meds are going to be your best friend. Ask your doctor every single question you have about it and do your own research! It’s really not as scary as some people make it out to be. You got this mama!
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A similar situation to me. I’m 70. I was 30 when it happened. I had one outbreak when I got it. That’s it. I researched and took lysine.
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My friend found out her hubby was cheating the same way. If he knowingly had it and gave it to you, he can face criminal charges depending where you live.
I sure hope you are kicking him to the curb though. Also making sure he shares nothing with your children because heaven forbid they get it too by sharing a cup or something.
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Idk how to help you with the emotions of it, but L-lsyine is said to help with outbreaks and prevent outbreaks. Its otc and a vitamin I believe.
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I would be in an absolute rage. He cheated, didn’t even do it safely, came back and gave you an STI that is long term without even thinking about how that could affect you! I honestly would want to sue him for knowingly putting your health at risk tbh
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Stay on your meds and accept the fact that he cheated and get on with the rest of your life. So sorry
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I’m really sorry that happened to you. I had one cheat after 17 years. Now he has Covid and she died of Covid last week. No joke.
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I have a good friend who contracted Herpes in college. To be completely honest, most of the men she’s dated, have not cared and she is upfront about it. Once you become educated on it, you realize that it’s not as “gross” as everyone portrays it to be. Be educated, be an advocate, and use protection.
You will be able to date comfortably some day and find someone to love you and your children the way you deserve to be loved.
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The breakouts honestly get less and less frequent, only really come back when you’re run down or stressed. They become far less painful and a bit like a little cut from shaving in the end. Also, not one single person I told cared, because I stopped caring, once you know the facts, the shame goes away. Its a shambles people are shamed for it in the first place when so many people carry the virus around with them on their face. Rather have it somewhere I can hide it than big horrid scabs on my mouth anyway 
80% have the virus. 20% display symptoms. Just bear that in mind.
I’m with an amazing man now, we don’t use protection any more we just don’t sleep together when I know im about to have a breakout and wait a little while after it’s cleared too. He also, did, not, careeee. He’s also never had a breakout and we’ve been together nearly 2 years.
Hugs xxx
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Please dont think your life is over and you have to stay with him. Its very very common statistically speaking. Your dating life does not have to end in finding the right person. Stay on meds and as time progresses it will be less and less frequent…some people go years without an outbreak…and there are triggers you learn that can bring one on. Keep your head up…its not as scary once you research and understand…but leave that man to himself smh.
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Girlfriend 195 million people In The US has genital herpes. You are not alone. You are not alone!!! I have a cousin that has it. She met her husband at a support group. (Yes they have those) as far as the BF goes, idk what to tell you. But I can tell you this, you deserve a loyal and faithful partner. We all do. If you can forgive and he can never do it again? Or burn all his things in a giant barn fire? Either way I wish you all the best.
Sitz baths can help with the pain. Hang in there.
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I just want you to know no one thinks less of you. I hope your life gets better, it’s hard to end a relationship with the father to your children and it’s okay for that to be hard. I’m sorry he hurt you and betrayed your trust and made you sick, it’s not fair and you need to know that healing from the emotional damage is never right away. It takes time. Don’t let people tell you to “just get over it” that’s not how healing works.
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I have no advice I just want to be supportive. Bless you sister. Hugs. Please know your worth is way bigger than this. You are a victim. Don’t feel like a bad person. Seek out professional help if it bothers you too much. Sending love hug and care
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First , you don’t deserve a man who sleeps around. I hope you leave him and find the strength to rebuild your life. 2 nd be careful about hygiene. You can spread to your children, so wash hand in hot water and soap. 3rd , I’ve known friends who had relationships after being infected but they were upfront with their partners and gave them a choice. Even without flare ups with oral sex you can spread it . Be careful but most, rebuild your life and focus on you and your children. Good luck
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I have that too. An ex gave it to me as well and admitted he knew he had it before we got together. I only found out cuz I got pregnant and it caused an outbreak. I had one initial breakout and now almost 20 years later I haven’t had another. I hope it does the same for you too. Ive been honest in relationships going forward and it hasn’t impacted how they felt about me. I’m in a committed relationship now and about to be married. Hope you feel better soon 
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Herpies is a lot more common than you would think. I’ve lived with it since I was 18. You can go years without an outbreak as long as you take the meds. I’ve had a few relationships and was upfront about it and never had any issues with guys freaking out. It’s definitely scary when you first find out but you learn to deal with it. Don’t let this get you down And as far as him cheating definitely evaluate your relationship and think about if it’s worth saving. I know that sounds crazy but from personal experience people can change for the better. And before anyone gets all in their feelings I’ve had a lot of personal experience with this and know that it’s possible to rebuild trust it just takes a lot of effort and commitment and work. Best of luck to you while you’re working through this tough situation.
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So sorry this happened to you. Give yourself time to grieve and then move forward with your head held high. He clearly has no respect for you or the relationship and you are worth more and deserve more. Let yourself process the loss and then strap on those big girl pants and show your children what a strong woman looks like. Show him what a confident woman looks like and he will regret ever hurting you. The best thing you can do for you and your children (after you heal) is move forward stronger and better for it. Don’t wither, don’t wallow. Definitely process it for sure but then move on. Hugs mama
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Black seed, and oil of oregano have many anti viral properties. Not sure if it will help but it’s worth a shot.
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I am sorry this happened to you. Hopefully You can get over that piece of shit. Sorry but it makes me mad because they are some men out there that will do that shit. No woman should have to go through it.
It will be hard but you sound like a strong woman.
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Never experienced this but…Everytime you take meds for it you’ll be reminded that he did that to you ! Let him GO!!!
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Sorry this happened to you. First know your Worth, walk away, it will be the hardest thing you will do but staying in the long run will ruin your self confidence and self worth. I would talk to your doctor, see if they can give you something temporary to ease the pain, seek a counselor and after a few wks you will start looking and feeling amazing. His loss, again I’m sorry he did this to you, remember none of this is or was your fault 
I wonder if that numbing spray they give u after having a baby would help with the pain? I think its called dermoplast you can find it at Walmart, cvs and walgreens. So sorry your going through that i hope things start looking up soon!
It’s controllable on antivirals most of the time. And from what I understand is contagious during an outbreak. It can interfere with childbirth if there is an outbreak coming on or if you’re in the middle of an outbreak during deliver. My daughter had the same thing happen to her by a piece of shit man. I’m so sorry darling. There’s no easy way to handle that sort of betrayal. I’ll be thinking of your family and sending good vibes your way
Consider yourself lucky that he only brought home herpes and not something that an antiviral med won’t wash off or at least tamp down. Don’t stick around for the next disease that the next girl gives him. You are worth more than that so straighten your crown and move on with your head high.
I get fever blisters on my lips and tea tree essential oils help with pain and healing. Maybe ask your doctor if its safe to use that. Sorry this happened to you!
I heard there is a dating website for ppl with certain STDs also… I think it’s called positive or something HPV, HIV, and herpes… but most men Will not care honestly
You will be so surprised to find this is a lot bigger then you think… so many people have it… always remember your still human you are no less of a person then anyone who don’t have it… don’t stay with him because he has it you will find someone who don’t care as long as your taking care of it
I contracted HPV from my cheating ex husband. Ended up with anal cancer and now having a hysterectomy bc of precancerous cervical cells. I left and never looked back. You will get your life back together. Research and stay strong!! So sorry you are dealing with this.
I had a friend whos Mom had same thing and just wasnt sexually actuve during outbreaks. Took outbreak suppressing meds
I’m so sorry this happened to you💔 if you are concerned about dating in the future, I wanted to let you know that there are numerous dating apps out there that match you with others that are experiencing similar situations
I am so sorry you are having to deal with this. Sending prayers your way. Stay on your meds and if ever need an ear feel free to message me.
Leave him
He will never ever change
He’ll tell you what you want to hear for now just so you won’t leave & then within 2/3 months y’all will be back to the same old routine the same old lying that he’s always done
Leave him
You got this girl
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Forgiving is the hardest part when someone does u wrong forgetting never really happens when someone does u wrong u have to decide ifvitscin u to forgive and try to forget its always going to be in the back of your mind is it going to happen again or not and u just need to do what u feel is right for u and know that it’s your piece of mind that will be eased when u di
Sorry that happened to you all you can do is take care of urself and make sure u don’t do this to someone else. My mom had a bf that waited to tell her till after some stuff had happened she was terrified and so angry luckily she is ok but she was in her 50s n the guy still tried to trap her so she wouldn’t leave him because of it she wouldn’t have been with him if she had known be respectful of others just cause u don’t have an outbreak doesn’t mean someone can’t get it from u
Don’t think your life is over, it’s hard to cope with at first but it gets easier. Also don’t think it’s something you deal with on a daily a daily basis, you won’t have breakouts everyday, if your lucky, maybe once a year, or you might not even have another breakout. For new partners, just make sure to let them know.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Give yourself time to process everything that’s happened before you make any decisions. And remember- this is in no way your fault. You’ve done nothing wrong!! Sending huge hugs
Get some counseling and do things that left your spirits up.
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Parent the best you can with him. Otherwise, screw him. Get educated on the dos and donts of living with herpes. It’s not a death sentence but as far as I know you still need to take some precautions going forward for the health of your family and potential future partners. Good luck.
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I am so sorry you’re going through this. I know it probably seems like the worst thing in the entire world, but I promise you, you’ll get through this and it will be ok
No advice but just support for you. You will be ok. Hang in there Hun. You are worthy and don’t think you’re not!
Oh no honey get rid of him. I caught Chlamydia from mine a long time ago. Ultimate betrayal! Genital herpes has always been a fear of mine. Having an STD Is not taboo anymore because so many unsuspecting people are catching them from careless people! I promise future relationships will not be easy, but not impossible. Just know that transparency with any potential partner is a must (especially per the law) & be willing to sit together with your physician prior to having sex to discuss having sex safely to protect your partner. There are many options if you consider having more children in the future. I have friends with STDs who found love after leaving unfaithful partners & contracting disease. Sending you hugs! You’ve got support here!
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I would charge him if he knew about it im so sorry your going threw this
Had oral herpes since I was like 5 years old. It’s super contagious if you have an active outbreak so be careful because you can spread to others (you don’t have to have sex or kiss to get it). Also my mom and older sister. It’s very common. I barely get any outbreaks and it’s usually like a tiny little bump on my lip. I probably only break out when I’m sick or have a fever. I told my bf upfront and he didn’t mind. So I don’t think it affects your life that much. You’re not contagious all the time only when you break out, which you might break out once every couple years.
Other than that, he has cheated on you. Admitted he has cheated. He didn’t get it the way I did. He will probably cheat again. Or you guys can try therapy…
There should be legal action you can take in these situations 
You can take legal action against him because he KNEW he had this disease and didn’t inform you.
Use a bidet with cool water… and kick this guy out. Consult a lawyer first, he may need to face criminal charges.
Can’t you sue for things like this now??
Okay I read first 3 sentences and I dont need to go any further.
Get the hell out of the relationship. Now!
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I’m so sorry this happened to you. You have got to let him go. The cheating will never stop, and you’re very fortunate that herpes is all he gave you. Please take no more chances with him.
As a nurse, unfortunately, herpes is pretty common these days and you may go many years without another breakout. Keep your meds on hand and start taking them as soon as you feel one coming on.
Also, excessive exposure to UV light (tanning bed or sunshine, even if it doesn’t reach your genitalia) can bring on break outs, so be mindful of this.
You have alot going on, physically and emotionally right now, so be kind to yourself and drop that piece of shit and never look back before he completely destroys you. You deserve peace and comfort and love. Find that within yourself. You deserved none of this.
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Sue him for a lifelong condition
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Many people test positive but never knew they had it…test pre birth of baby
To move forward, look at each future relationship as completely independent of your past relationships. People are different and so are relationships. Treat each one as unique.
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My now ex husband gave me HPV from cheating. I understand how hard it messes with you. After being infected and diagnosed, I have been completely transparent with anyone I am talking to. My fiancee was told SEVERAL times before we became intimate. Some folks are jerks about it but better to be safe than sorry. I’m praying for you mama. None of us deserved this. Hugs.
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Take it one day at a time luv💜
I read somewhere, a long time ago, Red Sea Algae, cures it. Or something. I was in my teens, and Google every high though, I’ve had. So don’t quote me, on the medical side, or ask my source. I don’t know. And I’m not a doctor. But, it may be worth checking out, to anyone who has it!
I tested positive for herpes years ago and never had an outbreak. I have the meds but never had to use them. Sorry to hear. Prayers.
I sympathize with your situation…did he knowingly infect you? From your post it sounds like he was aware he had it but withheld the information from you. knowingly infecting someone with an STD is illegal, fyi.
First off I’ll start by saying fuck him I’m sorry he did that and gave you that sad.
And secondly if your on the suppression method of treating hsv I recommend that over treating while you have an outbreak suppressing the virus vs treating only during an outbreak shortens the outbreak reduces the pain and swelling and this way you don’t shed the virus while not having an active outbreak and if you choose to have more babies in the future you ha e a 1 percent chance of transmission to the baby. And you can still breastfeed if you want to .
Third during an outbreak wear loose fitting clothes that breath don’t wear anything restrictive same for underwear switch to femal boxed then tend to be a little more forgiving use ice to help any pain and swelling .
Hsv is a opportunistic virus that means that when your immune system is bad or your already sick you could have an outbreak take vitamin supplements to keep your immune system strong and lower your risk of outbreaks by helping your immune system when you are sick.
Hsv sucks and more than 80 percent of the population has either type 1 or 2 .
Hope these facts help put you at ease .
You have to accept that he was a shit boyfriend and then move on and take care of yourself.
First hugs, second take your medicine and third kick that p.o.s. to the curb for good.
My advise would be to leave
Him. Things will never be the same
I’m sorry hun. I know that you are probably feeling like this is the end of the world, but its not. Herpes is very manageable. Take your daily antiviral, try to eat cleaner, try to reduce stress as much as possible. Stress, bad eating, or getting sick (really anything in general that messes with your immune system) can cause outbreaks. The first one is the worst. Dump that loser and be honest with your future partners. You can still have safe sex when you are outbreak free.
If he’s knowingly spreading a communicable disease he can get in legal trouble as well, he obviously knew what he was doing when he cheated and he’s probably been hiding an outbreak himself knowing full well that he could give it to you. I would ask to see he test results if he’s gone to the doctor prior to your visit. With his results I would then go see if I could file charges, he chose to put your life and sexual well being at risk, he deserves whatever consequences his actions get him.
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Honestly herpes isn’t an “end of the world” STD anymore, a LOT of the stigma has gone away so it shouldn’t impact future relationships as long as your honest (because that’s a safety issue you have to be honest about it). As for him, boot his ass to the curb and report him to the health department. I’m extra petty so I’d make a poster for his work (cuz most men cheat with woman from work tbh) and slap that bitch up where everyone can see it.
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Aw I’m so sorry . It’s bad enough he cheated but to have given you an std as well . I’m sorry but what an absolute pig. You don’t say if you finished with him ? I presume you did !! Everything happens for a reason , you were meant to find out , unfortunately this was a tough way to find out . He’s disgusting he didn’t give you a moments thought . You sound like a lovely person and you’ll eventually meet better , it’s not your fault this has happened and once you’re getting treatment and eventually meet someone that deserves your love you can explain . You’re the winner here at the end of the day ,look what he’s lost !!
I’m so sorry this happened to you. It will get better. For future dates, always let the person know & use protection. Good luck hon!!
Stay on those meds. I’ve heard that running cool water in the tub & peeing will help with the pain. LEAVE THAT CHEATING MOTHER FUCKER & if/when you decide to get into another relationship, be honest. Lots of people live with herpes.
AGAIN LEAVE THAT CHEATING MOTHER FUCKER
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He only told you he’s cheating because he gave you herpes or else he probably never would have. Dump his ass and get on with your life. I’m sorry you’re in such a situation. Take care and sending you hugs x gws