How to deal with a bitter baby momma?

Shared custody does not have to be every other weekend. Nowadays, mothers everywhere are putting their feelings aside and co-parenting on a whole new level. They include their ex’s, their wives and children on all events and celebrations, all show up for school functions and include the blended family children in other activities where the ex is involved. Becoming ‘friends’ with an ex/stepmother is not only a good thing for moving forward, but children grow up knowing love from ALL and it’s less dysfunctional. Be the bigger person and reach out personally to bridge the gap. You’ll be surprised. She may just adore your children and visa versa, more than you both anticipated.

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Just ignore her, those words are only hurting the children just focus on the children and not the mother

Whatever “special bond” he has with the younger two should never be displayed or discussed in the older children’s presence. His time with them should be all about them as they only get to see him occasionally. And are you sure it’s just the mim being bitter?:thinking: she could just be protecting her babies and letting y’all know how they feel.

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How she feels or what she says about his relationship with his kids doesn’t matter. If his children know he loves them then that’s all that matters. Ignore her I know it’s easier said than done but the bitterness isn’t going anywhere. Worry about your household and love yalls kids. She’s the one with the problem, let her keep her problem and live in her bitterness.

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It happens, he bonds with the children you have together more, he nor she is in control of his emotions. Blended families and co parenting is not ideal and this is one of the many reasons why. The only thing we can do is try our best to play with the cards we’re dealt.

I was the child from the first marriage. My dad basically dropped everything when he remarried, even moved across the country. What would have been nice from my prospective is making sure he always gets them when its his turn. Including them in the family activities. Getting a phone call just to keep up or say hi when it isn’t his turn. It really is important to feel remembered and missed.

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Sue for more visitation or full custody. That will shut her up.

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I completely empathize with her. Let’s hope your never in a similar situation

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I’d simply let her know that whenever she wants to give dad full custody of the boys she’s welcome too. There’s no reasoning with people like that

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Hmm lol ‘Special Bond’ is code for FAVORTISM. :joy::joy:🤷 Wth ‘I have 3 kids but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have a special bond w my middle child compared to the other two’ lmao how does that sound??.. Pretty awful right? You think kids don’t pickup on that SPECIAL bond. It’s not about being ‘bitter’ but come on! Listen to yourself.

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Honestly just ignore her and enjoy the next 10 years where it will prob only get worse

You just completely took away everything you said with that last part- “special bond”.

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I know where she is coming from you can have a special bond with out it being favoritism!!!
I have 3 kids by 3 different guys 2 are ex husbands…
Any ways I have 2 boys and 1 girl…
I have a special bond with my daughter but my kids know I don’t do favorites!

The special bond piece i can see, doesn’t mean he plays favorites. My daughter has bonded to my husband like glue. The funny part is they aren’t biologically related but she will choose snuggles with him or when she gets a boo boo and she’s two. Have you every heard of daddy’s girl or mama’s boy. https://www.google.com/amp/s/parenting.firstcry.com/articles/magazine-father-daughter-relationship-insights-into-this-lovely-bond/%3Famp

Also your more likely to bond with children you live with, doesn’t mean he doesn’t love his other kids.

I would recommend that he spend time with just his boys when he can but also include the whole family. The other kids have different interests so it will be helpful to be able to do those things without the little ones who need more attention. I would also encourage you and your husband to talk to the older two and ask how they feel and if either of you are doing something specific that makes them feel left out. And listen don’t get defensive and work on it and let them know, you’re sorry and never meant to hurt them, you’re human and make mistakes and also the little one’s require constant help with care and monitoring and sometimes it’s hard to balance.

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Besides yours and his kids are younger and require more attention. But I would just take what she says with a grain of salt, maybe suggest you’d love more time with them, and let her dig her own grave because this will come back to bite her from her kids and make it enjoyable when his kids are in your care.

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What if he had a special bond with his first 2 boys (remember I am using your descriptions) and not with yours because he already had kids.Would you be upset or concern for your kids? Would you say something and expect to be ignored? Yes, I understand their is such thing as daddy’s girl I have 3 myself and dad has a special bond with all 3.

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Sounds like a personal issue on her end. Do t feed into it and allow her to have her miserable Opinions. All that matters is how the kids feel.

I think you should stay out of it. Save yourself the worry. There’s so much to before you were involved that you will never understand. Let it lie and just enjoy your family letting the older kiddos know you all love them and are welcome anytime. Being divorced and split family is hard, but you are trying to solve a problem that is not yours. Stop giving it attention.

Tell her pound salt. Give dad custody of boys so he can bond more . Bet she won’t :wink:

I would write her a very nice letter explaining you are sorry for her situation and cannot imagine o hard it must be as a single mom.
Be honest and tell her he thinks of his boys often …
Ask if there is anything you can do to ease her struggles.
BUT TRUST ME, you cannot shape how her heart feels.
Too, remember, those are his sons … include them in things when you can … ALL kids need their Dad, right?
Naturally a parent will be fonder of a child they live with …

You sound petty and annoying drama queen…grow up