Stand by what you say follow through if you say no and he gets angry tell him now its no for tomorow aswell but stick to your guns and if he screams and shouts just walk away from him into a nother room he will soon understand you mean what you say
I use the “I’ll think about it buddy” gotta be a good boy treat mommy nice
i would ask, who are his friends? Then how much TV does he watch? And does he have access to a computer ? If he has & does all 3 of these, TAKE THEM AWAY NOW. He needs to be outside playing, riding a bike or some sort. Being a little boy, TAKE ALL CRAP out of your house. There could be too much sugar in his system., that is making him hyper, Take sugary cereals away, Good for more less sugary cereals, Or a more wholesome breakfast. And if he acts like this, punish him. Because if you don’t…just be prepared & good luck.
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He needs a good time out. Don’t give in! Take away his best toy until he apologizes and doesn’t misbehave. You need to be stern. Saying he hates you- not acceptable. Tell him that! Put your foot down. If not, it’ll just get worse. YOU are the adult- you make the rules.
Be firm and set boundaries. Do NOT give in on important things but don’t argue about little things either. I hate 4 it’s worse than 1, 2 and 3 imo
He’s checking boundaries and exploring them. How much can he get away with and what gets a bigger reaction etc. It’s normal, but definitely not easy.
When my kids are being bad or hsve in the past I send them to their room eventually they come out snd want to act like everything’s ok I straight up silent treatment they hate when I’m mad at them sbd I’m just like nope you hurt mommy’s feelings snd I’m not talking to you right now snd I let it go on until I Csn tell they’re super upset snd I explain to them thst I’m not mean to them so you Csnt be mean to me shocking it worked 
I think four is such a tough age. They really do test the waters. I hope things get easier for you mama, you’ve got some great advice given to you!