How to deal with constant complaints?

How do I deal with people constantly complaining all day long? I am so wiped out. Being a woman alone is hard, being a mother, exhausting at times. We are expected to cook and clean and do most of the chores most of the time... Every 5 to ten minutes my kids are asking me for something so that is tiring but on top of that it seems like everyone in my immediate family comes to me with their complaints. I'm beyond tired and could use some advice as to how deter and prevent it...
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How to deal with constant complaints?

I think u need to say that to ur family. Tell them how u fee tell them how it tears u down. My kids r teenagers n I totally get it.

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Let them figure it out on their own. You have to let them problem solve.

When you figure it out let me know! Saying it to family rarely helps as they are already aware that you are overwhelmed and have not a whit of care about it. They have all dumped their cares on you and will not want to have them back. My family has called me nasty things for telling them nicely and also not so nicely that I am tapped out.

You chose how you LET people treat you, stand up!!!

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Block them LOL . I block people from calling me from time to time for a peace of mind

Set up a meeting with your family and explain what you’re about to do. Do not ask “would y’all be okay if” just down right say that you are going to schedule an hour or two a day/complete day just for yourself (your choice if it’s time for yourself daily or just one full day) and that they are only to bother you during that time if it’s an emergency or if everyone is okay spending the time together and what you’re doing together requires team effort, not just you.

I work retail unfortunately and listen to ungrateful people complain about their first world problems all day… i honestly cannot take it anymore to the point where I’m considering quitting because I just can’t stomach it any longer

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Same. Sounds like my life.

Have kids help with chores 2year olds can use a dust buster and sort Sox…

If your a perfectionist …STOP …
nothing is ever gonna be perfect again…
Set up a strict afternoon/evening schedule
Dinner at a specific time ,mine was 5:30or6:00
Baths around 6:30-7:30
In bed around 7:30-8:30no TV or internet just reading for half a hour then lights out
You NEED time quiet time
Be strict and stay with a schedule
Its hard at first but as a mother of 4 its well worth it older children bedtimes can be a little later
…
Make big meals on day off and freeze in metal containers …so you can throw them in oven later that week
…
Make easy dinners tuna sandwiches and tomato soup is acceptable
.
Make children responsible for there own messes
As far as grown people calling you with problems don’t let them interrupt your time with your children or your peace… Tell them your busy with you children.
Call them back at your when you can
People are going to get Mad big mad
Oh well your children come first

I get what you’re feeling. I go through this as well. I have moments like this too especially since I have 6kids. Constantly being overwhelmed with the kids and their problems, chores within the household, husband and his stuff along with my own problems… At times I wanna run away from it all. But then I sit and think about my kids and everything else with only one conclusion. Kids go to the people they trust most and if my kids and my husband trust me that much then I could trust them enough to let them know how I feel too. I have since done that and a lot of my burdens has eased like household chores, cooking ,help with the younger ones ECT… It’s challenging… More so with the teenage attitudes and toddler tantrums. if no one told you yet… I’ll tell you. It’s ok to take a break. It’s ok to choose to do nothing all day…but don’t get stuck in that mood. As much as we women think that our family’s life end if we are no more it doesn’t. Take care of yourself :heart:

You have to start building boundaries with people. I have an exhausting person in my life and I had to say “I can’t handle this anymore”

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Boundaries …kids won’t b asking forever …you’ll miss the asking some day! :relaxed:

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People do what they’re allowed. Stop allowing it.

I heard if you repeat what they just said they will realize how annoying they are and switch the subject

First: let your kids know if u hear the same complaint more than three times there on time out, second : tell friends relatives when they call to complain about something listen, be kind and say I’m sorry to hear this issues I hope it gets better for you. Then say I need to go do something or one of the kids is needing you right now. And hang up,

Tell people like this.
I am not trying to be a bitch about this , however I don’t want to hear any more of your problem’s at this time.
I need to focus on my life and my kids.
If they get mad I well they will get over it.

Be happy,regardless of how shit your life is

Lighten up and play and laugh with your children. Turn chores I into race or a challenge for the kids. Take time to PLAY WITH THEM

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Try just simply saying “i do not have the mental capacity to give to these issues right now” I’ve made it a new habit to ask the person im venting to if they have the mental capacity to hear me right now? it seems to make a difference, I know the first time someone asked me that I was so intrigued

I started a complaint jar at my house. U write down ur complaint, put it in and at the end of the week Whoever has the most complaint has to do chores, however it’s usually my husband w the most complaints lol

Be upfront and honest with the people around you about how you’re truly feeling

Start saying no and stop answering your phone. Take care of yourself and kids and your own home. That’s it.

Tell your family to go seek a therapist for there problems & stand up for yourself. Say it how it is. Set boundaries to follow for the kids & stay firm in them. They will soon learn.

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How to deal with constant complaints?

Tell them to shove their complaints where the sun don’t shine. Unless they’re close to you and you want to offer help, tell them you have enough going on in your own life without them complaining about theirs

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Start setting boundaries. Teach your children to get certain things for themselves. Let your family know that you have your own stuff going on and you don’t have time to help them deal with theirs. If you have a significant other in the household, require them to do their part. Set those boundaries or you’re gonna drive yourself crazy

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Just start answering their complaints with complaints of your own. You’ll either start being each other’s sounding boards or they’ll stop coming around all together.

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I completely feel where your coming from constant negative energy completely drains me to the point where I now avoid at all costs! Like the comment above advises you need to set boundaries! Such as I don’t watch the news in my house I don’t allow my mom to read allowed negative or sad posts on fb or the web, it may take time fir ppl to get the memo but if they love and support you they’ll get used to it and accept your reasons fir the boundaries you jus need to make the first move! And your doing great! You can do this :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

I just shut it down. I close the confessional, board up the charitable foundation, and put a “Gone Fishing” sign on doors of the Dept. of Children and Family Services. You’ve been carrying all the weight and everyone has become accustomed to it. They don’t know how to fend for themselves nor to they actually want to do it. It’s much easier to let you handle it, so they aquire all things through you. Tell everyone that they are now required to help carry the load and that you’re not asking them… you’re telling them.

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Just remember that you are in control of how much people spew their problems towards you. Unplug, disconnect and enjoy the sounds of the earth to ground yourself again. Choose a time in the day or night which you take no phone calls, have visitors and unplug from social media to gain control over what negativity you allow into your life :heart:

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Tell them to talk to a therapist. You have your own problems. As far as the kids, that’s just what being a parent is and isn’t going to change.

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It’s a sad world keep the faith.

Tell everyone to Stfu you’re not the complaint dept …

You dont say how old your kids are but I often wished I could change my name when they were young. You have to encourage them to look for stuff themselves. It’s amazing how they can find stuff when you say…well I guess you’ll have to do without then 🤷…make an hour for yourself. Sit and read or watch a programme . Just say…im busy. This is my time. Go play till my time is done. As mine got older I said…its my time now. Unless you’re bleeding or your sibling is choking it can wait
The adults …tell them to grow up and deal with their own shit .
Life is about caring …but caring for yourself is important too. Youre no use to your children if you’re burnt out

Turn your phone off. Do not answer!! Schedule a play date for your kids at somebody’s house. Take a nap…

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I do not have this problem at home, rather it’s at work and I respond “glass half full” and remind them of what the good was in whatever their complaint/story was.

I don’t vent for a few Adam let him do that every day around me because it’s just like suck it up buttercup we all do it so it’s better to laugh about it then do well on it

I booked myself in a hotel
Go enjoy myself.
When i get home and the complaining starts. I ask who did you complain to when I was away?

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Give them chores so they really have something to complain about

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Block and Delete… BOUNDARIES!!! Your peace needs to come first… You need to be physically and mentally prepared daily to deal with your own family and self…

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Time to set healthy boundaries

Seems your emotionally exhausted, tell them to stop complaining to you, if they dont like something change it

I would just tell them you can appreciate where they’re coming from however you’re dealing with your own family and you really just don’t have time for anybody else and their issues at the moment. You and your family come first

Put there complaining back on them" so what are you doing about it to change things?" Keep being positive getting them to come up with a solution! Or if it’s heavy stuff say seek a counselor that can help you with resources and issues.

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Just take some time for yourself.

Looks like you’re their rock
They trust you and it’s why they tell u
Give them advice
If you can help ok
If they didn’t listen after ur advice tell them to F off
If it’s one of this stupid complaints just to vent out
Don’t open your door :joy:
Or just tell them straight out
Do I tell u about my problems :joy:
They might get the hint

Give shit advice they’ll soon stop coming to you lol

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Set boundaries. I found that when I was open and honest with others about my feelings they respected them. If they don’t, cut them off.

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This may sound bizarre but rather than being nice, once when I was at my witts end I yelled and sceamed at the top of my lungs and then went outside to the garden. I felt relieved and believe me the same thing is NOT happening anymore with my teenage son. I put up with his behaviour too long then finally the volcano exploded. Sometimes you have to loose it and say your sorrys then move forward. Begging and pleading is a big bull shit story with a sad ending.

Get out the Brasso polish and give them a polishing chux and a buff up chux and get them to polish your sink. They stop complaining when you give them chores.

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If your family is committed to you that means you ether give good advice or are a good listener. You can ether say I can’t deal with your problems right now and walk away or tell them to grab a broom and talk while they sweep and you cook.

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I tell them in their face that they deserve what they tolerate specially if it is about the same thing again. I also stop being nice and polite telling them directly what they should have done before so their problem should have been solve already. After that they dont talk to me about it anymore and even better, block me and dont bother me anymore. My priceless peace. “not my monkey, not my circus”

Tell your children that’s it don’t bother me again or there will be consequences as for advice of family tell them to read Amy in the paper.

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When people complain to me i ask him to take my place for just one day and do it perfectly so that i can learn

That’s how it works, you should try to manage some self care inbetween all that to take care of yourself, even something little as taking a bubble bath with some candles or something, going out to eat to treat yourself, just do something for yourself throughout the day. It gets tiring taking care of everyone else, you gotta remember to take care of numero uno too :heart:

Stop talking to anyone who is sexist and expects women to cook and clean firstly. I’m not exactly sure why anyone complaining would bother you necessarily. Either you have depression or something or your friends do lol. But also highly likely is they are using you. So you can tackle that and I’d just say it outright. “Do you only contact me when you have a problem” or “sorry I don’t know what to do about your problem”. My life is bad and people assume I’m asking for advice when I’m not. So be careful you’re not just giving out unsolicited advice to a bunch of people in a shit situation…
Make a chart for the kids about their FAQ lol.
If it’s sweets etc give them a limit and tick it off. If it’s not tidying their room stressing you out buy stars or whatever.

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How to deal with constant complaints?

Set boundaries and stick to them.

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Make it known that unless someone has something positive or beneficial to say, you don’t want to hear it. Boundaries like that are important. Goes back to the old addage of if someone can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all. I get that kids may not know or understand that, but the adults in your life should. Sending good, healing vibes your way.

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Put the Big Girl panties on & tell your family this, You are a grownup so tell them how you feel

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Set some strong boundaries and stick with it!

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Tell them. Make sure they know if they are complaining or if they have any negative things to talk about you don’t want to hear it. Best way to set boundaries is to say them and mean them. It’s hard at first but once you set it in motion it gets easier

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Delegate, delegate, delegate!! And set boundaries, boundaries, boundaries!!
Do not take it all on!!
This is so hard but if you can create some space for yourself don’t let it push back in even if that means taking a stand for your peace of mind in the long run. Also learn to say “NO” especially without feeling guilty or feeling like you need to explain yourself.

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Hit ignore on your phone and enjoy your family

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Completely ignore them and make them fend for themselves or they’ll never know how to!

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We women tend to feel responsible for every one and everything. If they complain, give a suggestion as to how they could solve that problem themselves.

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Omg. For real! Drs on top of everything else! My kid looks at me like I slapped her when I offer pain medication and tell her there’s not much else I can do. Everyone else is telling you to speak up…but I understand it’s not always that easy. Boundaries are complicated when it comes to your children. You might not be able to deal with the complaints or stop them but you should carve out time for yourself. It’s hard sometimes but time alone is a huge refresher for me. It allows me time where no one is expecting anything from me. It’s helpful to “recharge”. Even a bath once everything is done for the day or a walk. Something you enjoy solo.

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Tell them the complaints dept is closed for the foreseeable future :woman_shrugging:

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Start setting boundaries, if it’s not life or death then they should go to someone else

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Social distance :woman_shrugging:t2:

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Charge a consultant fee

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Yes you are allowed to say No, you deserve those breaks

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Tell then you are trying to
Speak POSITIVE words of affirmation ! I
Recently told
Some of my people that and
They got the message . Also, buy and read the book “ Boundaries “
. It’s quite helpful!

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You could just shut up .l.o.l.

Tell everyone you are out of service

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“While your feelings and problems matter, I do not have the emotional and mental availability for any of that today.”

If these people give a crud about you at all they’ll get the point and be respectful of your feelings.

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Tell your family you don’t mean to be rude but you have enough on your own plate with looking after your children and cleaning etc and you don’t have time to listen to every little thing that sounds so petty or silly. If they are grown up they can sort there own problems out then whinge about it! You have a right to say something, other peoples problems shouldn’t be made to be yours to stress you out more. :slightly_smiling_face:

Do they complain to you because they value the advice you give, or just because they’re unloading? I, personally, feel honored when my friends consult me about their problems. BUT…I wouldn’t want ppl calling me all day just complaining about any and everything.

I’ve had the same problem so I started not answering my phn. If its important, they’ll call back to back til u answer.

Only answer your phone ocassionally or at a set time of day. Take some alone time.

Leave your phone go to voicemail. You decide what to listen and not listen to. Hug your babies. They grow up way to fast. This time is precious. Have them start with little chores and praise them for trying. :heart:

When someone starts complaining try to subtly but quickly change the subject. If someone asks why you don’t seem to want to talk about their problems just explain that you are very tired from a lot of stress thats seeming to come from all aspects of your life and all the people in it and that you’d really just love to talk about something happy to help you relax for once

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How to deal with constant complaints?

We teach people how to treat us…

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You would be amazed at what kids can do to help out! For their own sake they should be learning that and it would lighten your load. They won’t be home forever. Many kids can cook simple meals by the age of 12 for instance. Dishes, laundry, feeding and caring for a pet, and most certainly tidy their rooms. I came from a farm and it was expected of us to help out even with the younger ones.

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Learn to say no. Set your boundaries.

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Oh hunny I know the same feelings your feeling soooooo well. It will never stop. People tend to complain and will complain to those who can fix it. As Mommas we are the fixers. Some days are harder than others. Its okay to ignore a call once in a while from a needy family member. Its also okay to be honest with them and tell them you need a break.

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Well first I must ask are you required to fix the problem? Or just listen? Because if it’s the first, my first response to the complaint is what steps have you taken to solve the problem? That will cut down on a lot of complaints. If it’s the second, well you can just say “I sorry. I realize you need to vent but I I won’t be a good sound board today.”

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Explain to them that "right now, I just can’t "…you are entitled to inner peace!!

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Give the kids some chores. Not sure of their age but if they make a mess they can clean it up. As for family or friends, it is ok to say no. If they get mad or upset that is on them. Your only responsibility is you and you babies.

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How old are the kids? If they are old enough to help, make them help. You are a team - it cannot be done if everyone does not pitch in!
Set boundaries with the fam - you are not their fixer, when they start complaining, shut down the conversation. If that is the only thing they are calling for, you don’t have time for that!

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Just say I can’t talk right now I got to tend to my children and hang up that simple

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I tell my family and friends that “ I don’t have the mental space for your stuff right now” it seems to work!! Without people getting angry about it

Well- cant beat them, join them. I mean once the person starts whinning- recite your list of things you need to accomplish for the day- week (for instance)- match up to what the complainer is saying. It wont be hard for you. Tell them you will be available to listen just as soon as you finish (then rattle off list)- if they say hey- I was just talking- thought you were my friend blah bl;ah blah- just explain that you have enough responsibility for six humans but you are female so everyone EXPECTS you to wipe everyones ass without a complaint and a smile on your face. You try your best to do this because you chose to be a mother and you wish to impart a joy of living on your children but people with less problems- people with any problems feel entitled to suck any joy you may have and the air out of the room instead of lending a hand and maybe its time you started sharing with the adults around you how this is not exactly a damn picnic for you either. Dont take your frustrations out on the kids- they are being kids. Let the adults around you know exactly what you expect from them and dont pussyfoot around. Clearly you have tried to tell them nicely and they arent listening -Linda (ha). Another thing you could do is tell people you are willing to listen as long as they are cleaning your oven- toilet-floors- mowing the lawn, shoveling etc. Complaint booth is open for business if you are part of my solution. Just a thought. Good luck. You are teaching your children how to problem solve, how to live, how to find joy in life. You rarely teach children anything through your words (who listens?) You teach them by your actions. Demand respect. It will be an invaluable lesson- you’ll be glad you did when your kids are in their 20’s.

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Tell them to deal with it, and solve it themselves. Your not their maid or waitress or personal Alexa. Tell them they have two working legs, arms and hands and good brain. Go work it out

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Sounds like boredom to me.
I know you have your hans full with so much to do but maybe you need a break as well. Load up the kids in the car and take them to a park with swings; slide and plenty of sunshine and room to run and shake off the sillies.