My 9 month old son was sleeping in his crib for a while without issues. Then this past summer, we went on 2 vacations with our families which now he won’t sleep on his own. He has to sleep with us. We’ve been trying to get him back to sleeping in his crib with the cry it out method, but it doesn’t seem to work. Our pediatrician recommended it as well. He’ll sit there and throw a tantrum until one of us goes in there and pick him up. One time he threw a tantrum for an hour and 15 minutes until we gave up. We need sleep, but we can’t get it when he’s screaming his lungs out. I thought about putting a night light in his room because maybe he’s scared? In those mom books, it says to not put a light in their rooms, but I feel like he might need it. He didn’t need it before though. And we keep his room pretty cool since sometimes he’ll wake up sweating, but throughout the night he would move to get himself cooled down. Really need advice! Please no judging when it comes to the cry it out method. It worked very well the last time we used it (before the trips).
You can sit next to his crib so he can see you but you don’t make eye contact or talk to him. Slowly move closer to the door every night. You can also do modified cry it out where you only let him cry for about 5 minutes then comfort him. At NO POINT are you to pick him up. Rub his back and talk to him only. Google sleep training methods and pick one or combine them to suite your son. It could take weeks but stick with it.
Establishing a set routine before bedtime should help. Dinner, bath, hair and teeth, story time, bed time. If you have a sound machine, try to only turn it on at bedtime. If he wakes up after bedtime, go in and comfort him, but try to not pick him up from his crib so he knows he’s staying in there.
Cry method will be fastest. Buy ear plugs. You have to out last him. Otherwise he wins and you are teaching him to throw a fit to get what he wants. Use a monitor if you need to check for his safety, but that is just torturing yourself if you sit and watch the whole time. Otherwise this idea takes longer and is harder on mom. Start with getting him to sleep in the crib with you patting or rubbing ( you on a chair putting your arm through the slats if you can.) gradually getting him to sleep with you just holding his hand. Then just with you in the room then you right outside the door and so on. And. Once you get him on his own never bring him to your bed. Get at least a twin size so you can go back with him if he is sick and get him back to sleep in his own space.
Good luck
Can you still use something next to your bed so he knows you are there? Or is he to big? One of those devices that have the sounds of the ocean or water fall that shut off within a certain amount of time. Toys in crib, Does he like animals? Get one of those that move with motion. They are cute and soft. Light show on ceiling with one of those people use for Christmas trees and put a timer on it. Night light, plug in type.
Letting my son cry it out is the only thing that really works. Stick it out it will
Take. And I’ve had a night light in his room
From day one it’s an owl
That plays music and puts stars on his ceiling he loves it I tell him he’s going to sleep with the owl and to look up at the stars
Letting my son cry it out is the only thing that really works. Stick it out it will
Take. And I’ve had a night light in his room
From day one it’s an owl
That plays music and puts stars on his ceiling he loves it I tell him he’s going to sleep with the owl and to look up at the stars
9 mo is still SO young and we went through a huge learning leap the next 9 months too so sleep is a bit sporadic. i say choose a method and stick with it. separation anxiety, cognitive leaps, trips and wishy washy schedules can all contribute (food too depending on if you’re going hard into the solids or switching to formulas etc)… i say be patient. i would never (correction: could never) let my kid realllllyyy scream or cry for more than 5-10 minutes depending on the cry because if she’s that worked up, home girl was NOT going back to sleep and chances are she had pooped lol. we honestly re made her bed time routine and STUCK to it. after bath, we played and read books and i offered a snack, we danced with her again to get her relaxed, bottle fed in rocker and waited for her to sleep then laid her down REAL slow lol we “shush” loudly and have a whispbear and white noise/thunder storm via the hatch. you may also want to change your lighting (whether adding or removing nightlight) because my girl needed it REALLY pitch black to sleep at that age. baby massages were a last resort too if she was just realllllyyy squirmy. don’t leave until they’re falling asleep in crib and eventually move towards putting them to sleep sleepy but awake so they can relearn self soothing. hope something in here works! OH! we also did camilla in the last bottle to help ease emotions… you don’t think teething is involved with the sweating etc?!
He could be having separation anxiety for sure. I don’t agree with the cry out method for more then 2-3mins. If he doesn’t settle and you just leave him it’s a lot of stress on his little body to just sit there screaming. He feels like you won’t come to nurture him. He’s still so young, lots of time.
Can you rock him to sleep and then put him down? 9 months is still an infant so it breaks my heart to think about them crying for that long. They say time out feels like forever so you do one minute per year and he wouldnt even be at one minute, but in his little baby mind he was in time out for 90 minutes. If you do cry it out I would still comfort him, touch his face/tummy, tell him you are there and love him very much so he doesn’t think you have left forever (at 9 months they cant understand that you aren’t gone, when you are out of sight you dont exist anymore.) If you think he needs a night light, get one. My older daughter was afraid of the dark for years, he might be terrified. Also try sounds like baby mozart (very softly), waves, or a fan so it’s not just pitch black silence. If you arent already, a warm bath before bed and just a onesie to sleep in might make him more comfortable as well.