Need other mama’s help please!!
I am a mom of a 2 year old and 8 month old. I just recently took custody of my 9 month old nephew.
My kids are great sleepers and are on a schedule. They eat meals, nap and go to bed at the same times everyday. When it’s time for nap and bedtime and they’re tired I just put them to bed. There’s no crying or fighting. (Very lucky, I know!)
But now I literally have no clue how to handle my nephew because when he’s tired he just SCREAMS for hours and hours. I need ideas on how to sleep train this baby please! This is all new to me I’ve never had these problems before. I try rocking him, I try walking around with him, I try laying him down in the crib and periodically going back in to calm him and lay him back down. He will scream for hours! 
it is exhausting. I need ideas on what else to try that won’t require my full attention on him for hours as I still have to take care of my kids as well. TIA 
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My daughter has a night light that plays music and a light show on the ceiling.she loves it calms her right down. Also make sure he isn’t teething, ear infections etc ruled out by a Dr. It could also just take time for him to adjust to new surroundings etc… I’m sure it isn’t an easy transition for him. My daughter also sleeps great at home but has a hard time napping anywhere else
Warm blanket out of the dryer, milk right before bed and rain/ white noise LOUD. He’ll get the hang of it eventually. My daughter has known since she was 8 weeks old, when she hears the rain it is time for bed! If she has a particularly hard time falling asleep I’ll give her a Snuggie or small toy to look at and hold until she does.
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Can he lay down in your bed with a bottle to snuggle until he is half asleep then transition to a bed? He’s probably having a difficult time adjusting and needs the comfort.
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Lavender lotion can help calm and soothe him. Ive used it with all my neices and nephews (I have 8 of them) and it really does help.
He’s screaming cuz he has nothing familiar… He has no mama… No familiar smells… No familiar schedule… No familiar toys… When I watched my nephew… Some of the of his toys, moms shirt she wore for sleep and feeding, etc were required.
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A huge part of solving the problem, is understanding his past.
And idea what way he used to be put to sleep?
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Maybe you could get one of her shirts maybe a blanket some toys from her something that’s familiar to him you got to think about that too he’s probably having a hard time transitioning
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Litterly my life right now! I have a 7 year old and 1 year old (girls) & we took custody of our 1 year old niece Saturday. My girls are great sleepers and everyone’s worlds been turned upside down. My advice is to stay in your routine and be patient. Remember his whole world is new now. And its okay to cry. Im in your same situation! If you want you can message me!
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Did he go through anything traumatic before you got him? It will just take time for him to get used to you and to your home. He’s just wondering where his mom and dad are and why they’re not with him.
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Itll take time for him to adjust, for now start him with the other kids, and when he starts screaming comfort him, after a while if he doesnt go to sleep bring him with you, lay down and snuggle him, let him get sleepy or asleep and then move him to his bed. After a while he will realize what the other kids are doing and fall in line it’s just new to him. My daughter was a worse sleeper before we have her brother, now shes pretty easy to get to bed. Consistency and patience are the keys to this
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I adopted my nephew and niece, my niece had not bonded with her birth mother as she was only 4 mth and the mother never loved her . My nephew ( my son ) was 1 and had bonded with his mom he cried for what seemed like hours ,I couldn’t comfort him I tried he would push away and cry ,I just sat near by so he wouldn’t choke. He had a broken heart I think , music helped a bit I would play mellow stuff and he would relax a bit . It happened mostly at bed and nap time . It was sad and frustrating and it took 6 mths to work thu it . I am his mom he is 30 years old now and calls me mom ,buys me lunch and is a wonderful son .Dont give up . It will be ok . I dont have a quick fix just a little inspiration I hope .
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Music, a teddy with heart beat sounds. White noise
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He needs time to adjust keep up the good work. It’s amazing that u took on another child (your nephew) bless u and your kind heart try finding something he likes like a toy ke a song he is in a new environment might take time
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I feel like his world was just flipped upside down and hes not sure what to think. This breaks my heart. I dont have advice just know that you are amazing for taking him in and he will come around with time. Love him like your babies and im sure it will get better.
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He will get better after a while.He’s probably not used to any kind of a “regular” life \ routine … Maybe a warm bath before you lay him down.Or lay down with him til he falls asleep just til he gets in the habitat of napping… Maybe try to let him lay with your other babies. He may be scared by himself.Good luck.
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What a great bunch of suggestions. Just know that most suggestions will work because he is so young. Treat him with love and like he is a newborn and create good habits. There are many people that have the problem is you are naming and they are their own kids so just hang in there pic one that follow through.
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Love him like your own! He is yours now! Knowing his past is important just be patient. If you have contact with his mother just ask some of things she would do to comfort him.
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Try singing to him. He needs to feel loved n safe. Remember you are doing a wonderful job. I also took in my nephew n his two sisters. It will take time for him to fill adjust. Hang in there. It won’t last forever. Hold that crying baby. It’ll be worth it. Trust me. Good luck.
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That poor baby is sad. Breaks my heart for you both . Love lots of love . Cuddles. All 3 of them if need be. His world is upside down . Great job auntie. Always remember your kids have you, maybe he needs you just a lil bit more right now. It saying neglect other babies but he may truly be heart broken and confused.
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I’m not trying to be in your business, at all. But if the child couldve ever been exposed to drugs while the mom was pregnant, they do tend to cry a lot! I worked in a daycare for 5 years and had a few babies who were being fostered due to being taken because moms were on drugs while pregnant. They tended to cry all the time, even after feedings/changes/naps. It can be a tough road and I sure hope that isnt the case. But if it is, you just have to ride it out. Mommys Bliss Gripe Water helps a lot, I had a colicky baby of my own who had to have it every night. Good luck mama!
Melatonin liquid drops 30 min before bedtime.
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He just had a HUGE change in his life and more than likely routine, be that for the better or for the worst. Is there anyone close enough to the bio parents who might know what environment baby is used to? Was it loud, was it quiet? Is he now receiving what for him is far more attention than normal, even IF what he receives now in your home IS closer to a normal amount? Was the TV/computer radio or whatever else always running? Did his favorite snuggy item get left behind? Was he very much either a mama or Dada’s boy and always fell asleep with that person? Was there a scent that he is used to that he no longer has around him? Were there always light on or lights off when he went to sleep? Look, babies, as I am sure you know, thrive on routine. If his routine has recently had a complete 180° on top of it with nothing really all that familiar, he could be having difficulty adjusting and your best bet is to find out what exactly WAS his routine when he would go to sleep and incorporate some of that in within reason and wean him off to the routine the rest of the house is in as he adjusts. He just wants familiar, even if familiar was not always best, and as such, he is fighting it. Giving him some sense of familiar will help ground him AND make him feel as if his life isn’t COMPLETELY upside down.
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Mabey he’s overtired. Try laying him down sooner with a nightlight & soft music. Good luck sweetie & God bless you
I’m not sure of the situation but he might be used to crying because he’s used to crying himself to sleep because nobody was there it might take some time to get adjusted to your kids routine and your routine
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He’s probably still upset from whatever happened to be in your care. He’s probably missing his mom. I’m sure he’ll adjust in time. Must be hard for everyone involved.
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Decide on a routine and stick to it. He will learn that you’re dependable. Have a soft blanket or stuffed animal to comfort him when he naps. Use it only when he is to nap. God bless you.
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Night light fan not pointed at him a noise machine and soft music try some night time gripe water with some gas drops that would always calm ours down and help them sleep and lots of love
He needs alot of skin to skin momma l to have my nephew he is 6 months old l had to train him to cry so l feel for you if you have a midwife in your area she will come and help you l live in Ontario Canada not sure where you are PM me if you need to talk
You’re dealing with a traumatic time in his life and I’m assuming his home life wasn’t stable if you now have custody. That’s cause for a lot of emotions even in a child that young. You should anticipate that he will need a lot of your time and attention for a bit.
Put yours to bed and then settle in for some one on one time with him. For naps, I would try feeding him, rocking him to sleep and then holding him while he sleeps. Once he gets nice and sleepy, you should be able to lay him down. If not at first, plan on holding him for the whole nap to start with and after a while he should start to feel more secure and then you’ll be able to start laying him down. Night time is going to be tough… I don’t have much advice there other than possibly bedsharing but that depends on your views on that and whether it’s done safely or not because there is a risk of suffocation if you’re not very meticulous with how you bedshare. That’s assuming there’s no respiratory issues or anything that would put him at higher risk for issues if bedsharing. Do your research if you consider this route.
Good luck to you!
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All good advice. He’s lucky to have you!
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Treat him the exact same as your two, I know 9 months is young. But put your 8 month to bed in view of the 9 month old then put him to bed. He may be colicky too, put a couple of rolled towels under the head of his mattress
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