So my 4 year old step daughter wakes up early in the morning, around like 4 am, and my fiancee will get up with her because she’s “not tired” and won’t try to make her go back to bed, if it was ME I’d be telling her to lay back down and go back to bed, that it’s still bedtime… How do i get him to stop giving in? Same goes with anything else he always gives her whatever she wants and she’s a spoiled brat at this point. I’m tired of it.
I put a digital clock in my kids room and taped off the minutes. Told the kids they couldn’t come out before the clock said 6 or whatever.
I would seriously reconsider your relationship. If she’s 4 and it’s like this, it’s unlikely they will change any of their habits and it’s only going to get worse the older she gets.
She’s 4 & you’re the “other woman” stealing attention in her dad’s life. If you’re tired of him being there for his child & trying to make her feel comfortable you’re not ready to be a step parent. She won’t be little forever.
You sound like you resent your stepdaughter. Your fiance should have boundaries with her but it’s ultimately not your kid
Smh just leave u dont deserve them… she deserves a better stepmom and dad deserves someone who isnt a biotch towards hes child
They make a clock for kids and when its lit red it means it’s still time for bed but green means it’s okay it’s okay ok get up. I’ll see if I can get up.
If he gets up with her and doesn’t make you do it. Let it be. It isn’t hurting anyone.
Jealous much I’d say so
maybe tell her you love her. she is looking for attention. can you love her, truly love this little girl?
You don’t have a problem with the time she is getting up at your obviously having a problem with him being her daddy which she is LUCKY to have there for her. You need to stay asleep or leave them not him THEM…she isn’t doing any harm to you!
She could really just not be tiered. My daughter has been like that since the day she was born. I could make her stay in bed as much as i want and she still wouldnt go back to bed. Some kids just dont sleep. She still doesnt sleep ever. Just go back to bed. You dont have to get up if hes doing it. And maybe see if thats the relationship you really want. Because he wont change hes going to take care of HIS daughter how he see fit. He sounds like great a guy that gets up and takes care of his kid sounds like a blessing to me
Some children get up early. I don’t see how it is effecting you by him getting up? He is spending time with his child. They are only little for so long. Now if she is truly being spoiled that needs to be addressed but everyone has different perceptions of being spoiled. You have to speak with him about it. If it can’t be resolved than find someone who doesn’t have children. Simple.
Um wow… That’s his daughter and it sounds like your jealous tbh. You should feel happy he is doing things with his kid
It’s a good thing you’re not her mother. Your husband is parenting the way he sees fit… Get over it and let it be.
Wow all you ladies must not care if a child grows up to be a respectable adult. I was in similar situation when I married my husband and he spoiled his daughter rotten because he only had her every two weeks. But bet your ass shit changed when me and my daughter came along. Same rules applied to both kids period. Raising a spoiled brat will get you now where but more problems in the future and that includes for the child as well.
You sound like a bitter person. Just leave because THEY deserve better. 🤷♀🤷♀🤷♀ grow tf up. It isn’t YOU getting up with her.
How dare he spoil HIS daughter. Don’t be jealous, if he wants to get up with her then why complain? It’s not like you are.
Definitely sounds like you should just leave. Seems like he’s a good dad and that’s not what you’re looking for.
Not ur kid so doesn’t matrer. Don’t like it be with a man that doesn’t have children plain and simple. Granted he needs to work with her better like a later bedtime so she will sleep longer or longer playtime but ultimately it’s not up to u
You don’t deserve a man like that. It’d be different if it were your birth child right? Get out.
If he is willing to get up with her and wants to spend that time with her, let him.
Sounds more like jealousy and resentment… I think you should rethink your relationship
How sad for a grown woman to be jealous of a 4 year old… 4!!! You’re lucky to still be around in my opinion. Due to your jealousy I would see you as a threat to my child and you would be packed up and out before the day was over
Sounds like the jealous step mom those never work out haven’t you ever watched TV
Would you feel the same if it were your biological child…
If i was him you would be gone! My children come first and if i want to spoil them then i damn well will do it! Hos daughter was before you and will be after you… You clearly need to go to patenting classes bc you clearly have no damn clue on how to be a mother / step mother ! Smh!!
Grow up. She’s a kid they get up early. Sounds like she’s a good man and dad. He could be making your ass get up with her and be lazy and sleep. Sounds like you’re a selfish woman. And apparently can’t love her and if you can’t love her you don’t love her daddy. He’s a dad before anything else!!
At least she’s not waking up late in the afternoon. She will be all ready to start school when she turns 5! At least he is getting up with her and you don’t have too… I don’t see how this could bother you that much😩 I’m sure she gets a good nap pretty early if she is getting up at 4am. Let her have her daddy time.
Leave bish. Just leave u dont need to be a “step mom” with that way of thinking.
Wow you women are ruthless.
And be grateful he’s being a father. My sons father doesn’t do anything for him or put effort out. And my son is almost 2.
I would talk to him about how when you have future kids you can’t have different rules for them. And you don’t agree with some of the things he agrees with and you need to come to a mutual understanding or a future family may not work for you. I’ve been here before and I ended up leaving not for these reasons but it definitely had a factor I basically raised his child for him. The mom was barely involved and he didn’t know how to set boundaries and it’s really hard because it’s not your child but someone needs to set boundaries for this child or she won’t learn.
Jesus, calling your step daughter a spoiled brat, this is an outrage!! You should be so lucky to have someone elses child with you! You sound heartless and I wouldn’t want you to be her step mother at all!!
I would say you dont really want this. Him getting up with her shouldn’t be a big deal. And you say he gives in on everything with no example so it kind of makes it seem like you are also blowing that out of proportion
If he doesn’t mind getting up with her leave him alone and let him have his quality one on one time with her. That’s his child not yours and if you have a problem with his relationship with her then you don’t need to be with him because you sound jealous af. The second someone told me what to do with my kids I’d show them the door. That child was there before you and will be there after you.
Hahahaha I’m sorry for laughing. But she’s four. Four year olds are bratting challenging demons. It’s a stage. Even if you try to force her back to bed she is just going to play or sneak out. Give her breakfast turn on cartoons real quiet and in the dark. She’ll chill out. Be thankful your partner gets up with her. Mine doesn’t 💁 that kids up as soon as the sun peaks over the hill.
Say it with me: not your place to come between him and HIS child. At all. Ever. You are here now. She is there forever. As it should be
I would talk to him about the big picture issues that not enforcing boundaries with a 4 year old creates. Giving a child whatever they want will rob them of many important life skills. I would just sit down with him and talk it through. Your concerns are very valid. Tell him that you want the best for his daughter, and spoiling her isnt it.
You sound like a jealous brat
Maybe if you get up with them and tried to put her back to bed together, would help make everyone feel included. I am hoping you love her as much as he does otherwise maybe the best situation for you.
That’s his kid, she will always be first, get over it or leave.
I’d be happy he gets up with her, you don’t have to. Early risers are early for naps and early to bed
I don’t see jealousy… I see a difference of opinion in parenting style… I would be upset to because i know if it was my child I would definitely put my foot down and say its bed time even if the child doesn’t want to sleep. But because it is not your daughter you have to ask first what roll do you play in the child’s life, will he allow her to disrespect you with no consequences in the future ? Are you ok with this situation and will you compromise and let that slide with it’s your own kids. I wouldn’t wait to have kids with him if he can’t even hear out your opinion because I think a child being up playing or doing anything at 4am is insane idk how people here see it as jealousy…
My first step mom was JUST LIKE YOU😒
Hope you know she can feel your resentment and jealousy.
If he isnt making you get up with her then what’s the problem?
I do understand that you shouldn’t give into every single thing a child wants but the getting up early thing, if he’s handling it then let him handle it and sleep as long as you want. It’s his daughter in the end.
Sounds like you have a good Man. He is a good father if he doesnt mind getting up with her then let him…I am not sure why it’s a problem. Sone people dont need as much sleep as others. My Son has always woken up at 4 am as well. He has Autism. So even though he is now 15 I still have to get up with him…I am not sure you are ready to be a stepmom. Now if he played favorites over your child if you have any then you would need to talk about the rules being the same for each child.
She’ll always be before you,even if that means waking up before you. If he’s not mad about it, why do you care? Stay in bed? Why does everyone have to stay in bed while you’re in bed?
Wow…just wow…I’m going to put this a nicely as possible. Just stop. Be grateful he’s being a dad. It’s appalling that you’d talk about a child that way. Some kids are wired differently. He is the one getting up with her, so why are you even complaining? If a kid isn’t tired, they’re not tired. You can’t force a small child to sleep. Just appreciate that you have a good man
oh well as long as it isnt you getting up and giving in lmao let him struggle w her its not that serious…
Why do you care? Are you getting up with her at 4am?
At the end of the day that’s HIS daughter and he can do what he wants…
Get your ass back in bed!!!
Honestly if you don’t have kids yourself then you don’t have a right to tell him how to parent…that’s his child I have a 4 year old she gets up early sometimes you just roll with the punches…pick your battles he seems like a caring man if you don’t like that there’s probably a dead beat or many out there for you
Well, sounds like there’s a lot more situations but for the waking up at 4am thing I would just tell my son that he can’t wake up until the sun is up. It’s still sleepy time. You can’t give in all of the time because they learn, ha… haha.
This lady sounds like a bitch and I hope the dad leaves you!
Shit I be taking up the whole bed like bye don’t wake my ass up haha
My son sometimes gets up super early, sometimes he doesn’t, trying to get him to go back to sleep is pointless, just be grateful he gets up with her. Do you sleep well every night? I know I have several horrible nights a month, kids are no different. Sounds like Maybe you are a bit jealous and need to grow up a bit
4:00 is a little early for her to be getting up. I’d try to get her on a schedule. Maybe try putting her to bed later if she’s falling asleep too early.
I personally couldn’t be with someone who gives their kids what they want when they want. Honestly if you cant make him see why that’s NOT going to benefit her later in life, I’d leave. I refuse to raise a spoiled brat. Mine acts like that with her dad but when shes with me she knows I dont play that and shes well behaved.
i understand to an extent but the sleep thing oh well get over ir
I hope her mom doesnt see you calling her a spoiled little brat. Seems to me that you are the spoiled little brat. You dont need to raise anyone’s child.
Damn y’all are rude lol…
So yeah I agree that 4 am is kind of early.
Why don’t you get up and include yourself in family time instead of laying there wondering whats going on.
She probably enjoys doing it because that’s alone time she gets with her dad.
What time does she go to bed probably early right So she will get up early Also do you have her all the time because she maybe on a schedule set by the parent that has her all week
That he gets up with her is Wonderful. She will always have the idea of how someone thought ahe is special. Join in you will be happy you made someone feel special.
Jesus guys. How about instead of tearing her down you offer support and and actual advice. You guys have no idea of the situation maybe she’s having to deal with the spoiled brattiness when he’s not there none of you know what’s going on but instead you’re just gonna tell her she doesn’t deserve him? Have any of you been a frustrated parent? Christ’s sake I came to this page because maybe I’d have support from other parents but you’re all horrible.
Wow that’s his daughter you should be ashamed of yourself first and foremost for calling her a spoiled brat it sounds like he needs to put his foot down when it comes to you he does not need to stop giving in not all children want to sleep around the clock maybe she’s going to bed to early as a wife and a mother I would be so proud of the father my man is to his children and if you see it any other way maybe he should re-evaluate your relationship sounds like you should just sit down because if I was biologically her mama and you called my daughter a spoiled brat for getting up and disturbing your beauty sleep best believe I’m going to be there the next morning at 4 am disturbing you … jealousy in a marriage over the other spouses children will get you one thing and that’s divorced so girl bye
Unless you are the one being expected to get up with her then why does it matter to you. Let them have that time together and go to bed.
She is HIS child!! Some children are early risers and won’t fall back asleep. Let dad do his thing.
Geez these comments. I’m a step-parent and I also have two kids of my own and I totally understand why you’d be upset. It’s not about being jealous of the child or anything. My bio daughter tries this too and she’s 5 years old and guess what? I make her go right back to bed. My 9 yr old step son used to come out and say “I’m not tired. I can’t sleep”. I’d say “go back in your room and watch a movie then” but you aren’t coming and chillin out here. I treat all my kids the same. If you don’t wanna go to sleep then you’re staying in your room at least until 7am. All my kids step or bio know this. He shouldn’t be giving in. Now she thinks it’s okay to be getting up that early. This isn’t about step or bio. It’s about not always giving into a child. They can’t always get what they want.
Wow, sounds like you jealous of him taking care of his baby
We usually do a couple things to pass time.
Morning snuggles & then when that’s over we make her go put a movie in & relax watching that. Then we will get up sometime after that.
She’s only 4.!!
If the dad wants to stay up with her, or spoilt her that’s his choice not yours…
If you disagree then that’s your fault…
Like it or not she will always be daddy’s little girl.
Get that in your head and move on…
You are a horrible person who cares if she gets up at 4 am he’s freaking getting up with her not you. You should just leave and let them be
Relationships are about communication. You need to talk to him about this.
Leave him my dear bcoz that little brat is his baby girl n she has his blood in veins…however u should come out of this relationship bcoz u hve no feelings towards a little Angel…every child is stubborn n wants to spent time with their parent u hve no mother feelings…if u did hve motherly feelings then u wouldn’t have called da child names…u r not married to him n I calling his child all types of names just imagine after u marry him wat u would do to da child…ITS UR TYPE OF LADIES WHO GIVE THE NAME STEPMOM A BAD IMAGE
Since she wakes up early get her to maybe read a book or play quietly in her room till yous get up
Seriously?!how does this effect you in anyway? Such an odd thing to complain about really…
Leave them alone geez. Maybe he wants alone time with HIS daughter. If you can’t love her like he does why did you get with him.
Personally, I’d say fuck it. Have her take a nap early in the day or have “down time”. I know my kids get wild and crabby when they are tired. It may help with her acting like a brat.
You sound jealous of your step daughter😂 If she gets up that early at your house then she probably gets up that early at her moms it’s HER schedule you can’t force her to go back to bed when she obviously isn’t tired. Another thing if he wants to spoil her when she’s there then so be it you only have her how long? And idk why your the one crying over when she gets up when your not the one getting up with her. Grow up honey before he leaves you🙂
Maybe get her an alarm clock that goes by colors… she can’t come get daddy up until the alarm clock is green. I know they make them.
Her bed and nap times may need adjusting?
The fiancé shouldn’t encourage the behavior, for his own sake. We all need a decent amount of sleep and if he’s going to bed at a ‘normal’ adult time, between 10 & 11, he’s most likely not getting enough sleep.
Tell him to sleep in and that you got this? If you want her wake up routine different then you’ll have to adjust yours until it is fixed.
Also, seriously y’all? Have you never thought to yourself, “my kid is acting like a jerk right now!” ?
This is supposed to be a place we can help each other out when shit hits the fan and we need outside help.
Honestly if she is WAKING UP at 4am, that means that she was sleeping all night. I would suggest that he give her a later bedtime to try to balance and adjust her body’s sleep time.
Yeah just leave. You don’t need that kind of baggage in your life lol
Lèha Tasker omg the complaints. 4am is not wake up time.
Go back to bed. No matter the age.
Wow evil step mother so make him choose the way he wants to raise his child or u
Cant force a child to sleep when they dont want to. Kudos to dad for getting up n not bitching to the world about it
Does the child live with him? If not maybe he’s enjoying the time they have since it’s not everyday like before? Maybe he feels guilty the situation the child is in (new life without mom and dad) so he’s trying to comfort her. The child is part of him and deserve the same love, understanding and compassion you give him. Do you have children together yet. Think of when you do, he’ll be getting up with baby in the night to help like a father should. I get the agitation as my youngest and my husband’s youngest did this and ended up in our bed every morning. His youngest hates covers and tossed n turned cuz she was so hot natured. When id get stressed id think they’re only little once. Everything between him and I were new but to them it was a whole new life. Even when it wasn’t new to us it still was adjustments for them. Breath and love the little or you sl will resent each other, and he’ll probably choose his child as he should, sorry. I agree with the not giving her/ him everything but if he’s giving her love, time ans attention… let him. Mine are all teens now and I’m so torn up they’ll be on their own soon.
You know you guys it takes a village. Raising children is hard it’s frustrating people need advice and support and understanding and not everyone has that in their family and friends so they come here for help, Almost all of you should be ashamed of yourselves for the things you’re saying. She needed help, not hate.
This is ridiculous. Because she doesnt have kids, she doesnt get to have an opinion? Are ya dumb? If she is with this man, then his kids ARE her kids.
(She is getting up way too early, its a phase, it’ll pass)
From her post, it sounds like there are other things goin on as well. Its hard being a stepparent, you have to balance everything, and if there’s an issue with BioMom, maybe he doesnt get as much visitation as he’d like, so he over does it when he has his daughter. It might be an idea to strengthen the relationship between stepMom and Dad, so when they do talk about parenting, theyre on the same page. Its normal to have disagreements, just be honest with how you both feel, not accusing, respext each others point of view and know its give and take. You’re both learning.
Geez these comments are just the worst. 4am is totally super early for her to be getting up EVERYDAY. Even if she doesnt go back to sleep she should understand that its still not time to get up. I agree with you that its ridiculous. Dont even listen to these other comments about shame and such because that is just the most absurd thing I’ve heard of.
My daughter also gets up at 4. You can’t force a child to sleep if it’s not tired. And he gets up why do u care??
Lmao you let her run shit for this long it might be to late. Start to interfer with his princess and you might get left outside. Kids over everyone.
What time does this kid go to bed 6pm?
This is to be taken seriously if she is sick,it’s o.k., if not she needs to go back to sleep,please don’t judge the
Stepmother, she is just getting fed up,
If you read her writing.He spoils her .
PLEASE DON’T BE SO RUDE, YOU DO
.NOT KNOW HER.
The waking up thing o wouldnt see as an issue because it isnt affecting you if he is consistently getting up with her. If he was asking you, then speak up. Theres some missing info on what else he “gives into her” on. Unless its something that negatively affects her health or wellbeing, then let him be the dad. If the 2 of you have a biological child, then address how you would like to have a bigger say in how things go since it’s your child too.
Yea, he’s ruining your child lol
My husbands the same way with our 7 month old at 2 or 3 am. He claims she doesn’t want to sleep that she wants to play but i grab her and guve her a bottle and she’s back to sleep in 5 or 10 minutes… He’s done this since she was born and i can’t stand it. I have them on sleeping schedules for once and he’s screwing them up.