How can I control myself that my new partner won’t cheat on me? My partner treats me amazing, they are always reassuring me they will never do that and they have never cheated on anyone in the past relationships. I’ve cheated on my partners, so I feel karma will get me since this partner seems loyal.
I think it’s important for you to both understand it’ll take time. Should you put your past relationships on the new one? No, but cheating breaks the trust you have for people. I think as long as he’s supportive & he does things to help you feel reassured it’ll get better. I wouldn’t recommend like going through his phone or things like that… that will start unhealthy habits but his demeanor and attitude will tell you a lot about he feels & if something is wrong
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How to get over cheating?
Your thoughts will sabotage this new relationship. You need to let the past go if you keep dwelling bad shit will happen. Your insecurities will push this new guy away. Don’t punish him for your ex’s wrong doings.
If your new man wants to cheat he will… just let the fun happen and if the bad times come knocking then just know to leave! Even when trust is broken you can’t blame everyone and treat everyone the same!! Everyone is different!!
A therapist told me in order to trust you just have to make that decision to trust
Girl… how do you know you won’t get hit by a bus when you walk outside today… just do the right thing and trust your intuition. Also, laws of attraction, do not expect him to cheat or he likely will. Enjoy your relationship so he can enjoy you.
therapy it will be okay, Love!
I would honestly seek therapy. You seem to have trust issues based on your past decisions, which could cause a huge problem in the future (or not). You have to have trust to have a healthy relationship. And honestly if someone is going to cheat, they are going to cheat. There’s NOTHING you can do or say to stop it.
Try and remember that not every guy is the same there are some good guys out there. My ex husband cheated on me and it was hard to get into a relationship with someone new the beginning I thought he had different motives but I just had to tell myself he is not him I need to give him a chance and I’m glad I did, you never know what will happen in future but you can’t live scared.
Be there. The way I looked at it is that there was nothing I did or could do to keep someone from cheating. That is who they are. Pay attention more. Don’t let to many red flags go. It’s okay to leave. It’s play to hold your worth high. Enjoy the new relationship but just remember to not turn a blind eye on things you shouldn’t accept. Good luck.
Don’t move on to a new partner. Until you can forgive and heal from the old relationship. You can carry those issues into the new it will help destroy it.
The new partner is not your ex and shouldn’t be treated or thought of in that way.
I seeked therapy after my ex-husband cheated on me after 12 years of marriage. Two years later I was reconnected with a crush that I had and we dated for two years and I begin to trust him in the beginning but towards the end he started to show signs that were very alarming to me. That he did not physically cheat on me he used porn and took pictures of other womens ass’s. Yes he was an ass man but to use them for his own personal pleasure www disrespectful in all levels. So hence, my trust issues blow up once again. Single now for about 3 yrs now and I’m ok with that.
You need to heal yourself first. It’s not fair that a new person has to jump thru hoops bc you haven’t healed. None of us can predict the whole future, bad stuff happens. Instead of being hard on yourself bc of someone else’s choice, it’s time to ask why you pack these types of ppl to begin with.
It wasn’t your fault. Forgive and move forward.
Forgive yourself and forgive those who have cheated on you. Therapy may help. You just have to take the leap & trust hunnie.
You need therapy to actually deal with your feelings from all of the cheating. If your partner has always been trustworthy then trust them. They are not past partners. You can make new choices with this partner.
You can’t and don’t allow it when you have proof.
Get some counseling/therapy.
You need to work on yourself. And dont make him do so much extra work to reassure you to where he gets miserable. It’s not his job to fix your issues. Enjoy the good things (easier said than done i know)
I’ve been in this situation, therapy will help! But you have to completely train your brain. I had to learn to forgive my ex husband and I mean truly forgive him for all the things he was never even sorry for, and also myself. I really had to learn to love myself and it was so hard! Loving yourself will put you in a different mind set. I’m not remarried to a man who will never cheat on me and I fully trust he won’t… sometimes faith is all you can believe in
You can’t control what someone else will do. You can only control the way you will respond to it.
Sounds like you’re not ready for a relationship
Cheaters always worry about others cheating on them. . Like thieves always accuse everyone else of stealing.
Also- actions speak louder than words. You have to trust that he won’t and you have to be loyal yourself
If you’re going to project your insecurities and past feelings/fears like that onto someone knew then maybe you should just stay single until you get past it and work on yourself.
If you don’t put your heart into getting over it, you will destroy your new relationship.
If you are a cheater then don’t go into a relationship. Simple. You need to grow up.
You don’t until you do therapy bruh. I’ve been single for years cause whoever I date will cheat. So I’m just doing me and not being toxic as fuck because of my own trauma.
As someone who is going through this myself, communication is KEY. Be open with your new partner about your past traumas in relationships, your fears, your expectations, everything. Let them do the same with you. My boyfriend and I have been together seven months now and we are still learning and growing and helping each other mature and heal from past traumas in relationships and unlearning unhealthy coping mechanisms and learning new, healthy ones together. It’s hard work, but it’s worth it.
I know a lot of people say therapy helps, and I’m sure it does, but I’ve learned that past trauma heals from positive experiences. My ex was a lying, cheating, manipulative, narcissist. He had me convinced that everything was my fault. When I met my now husband, I always apologized and blamed myself for everything. He loved me through it. It didn’t take long (for me) being in a healthy relationship to let go of the past trauma. Although, I’ve never cheated in a relationship (I believe it hurts less to simply end things with someone rather than cheat - Cheating does serious damage) but I have been cheated on and it causes insecurities and self-esteem issues. Be open. Be honest. Especially about your past traumas with your current partner. It will help him understand some of your issues.
On a side note, if you’re a habitual cheater, you should be by yourself. If you’ve been cheated on, you should know the damage it causes, and should never inflict that damage on someone else… especially someone you claim to love.
How can you not get over cheating but your a cheater your self? Sounds hypocritical to me. That’s toxic and I hope your partner runs as fast as they can…
I’ll be honest, I’ve been through the same. It genuinely takes time and a lot of effort to learn how to be in a relationship after someone does you like that. Your new partner needs to be patient and understanding, anything you feel you need to be open about so they know and you don’t drive yourself crazy. It’s difficult to relearn HOA to properly love and be in a relationship after someone traumatizes you like that. You got this tho. I did and I never thought I’d be able to.
Rather than assure yourself that your partner won’t cheat, accept that they might, but trust they wont. Because it absolutely could happen and its way more devastating if youve built up this idea that its never gonna happen. But even if they do cheat, the world doesn’t end. It may just feel like it does. They’re just not the right person for you. The right person is out there, though, and you won’t know if this person is right unless you commit to trusting them and not worry about what could go wrong.