How do I go about getting sole custody of my kids? I can’t afford a lawyer and I’m hoping to do this on my own but if I need to I will get one. Dad has financially supported the kids and I but mentally, emotionally and physically he has not. He is a good dad when he wants to be but barely seeing them when he gets home he has no patience and gets angry easily. He loves them. He likes to drink and buy lottery tickets. And when he drinks he usually goes overboard and gets all emotional and talks crazy to himself. I dont want our kids around that.
No negative feedback, just looking out for my kids.
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Are you still with him?
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Karen🍒
No, kids and I moved out and I’m just going to start the divorce process
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You’re going to need a lawyer. It’s going to be expensive. My ex was abusive in every way and the court still won’t take his rights. Good luck.
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Talk to legal aid wherever you live, or even set up a consultation with a family lawyer, just to ask questions. And see what options you have available
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You will really need an attorney to prove this. Its very hard to do unless you have one in the court room. Is there a way to borrow money?
You can always petition the court this motion and try but an attorney will know exactly what is needed.
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Honestly idk that it’s up to you. It would be up to a judge. Sole custody is not an easy thing to get even with a lawyer. I believe getting a lawyer maybe your only hope for doing so. But I will say this someone’s shortcomings as a spouse can quickly change when they are forced to being a single parent. When the dad has his kids on his own he may not behave in the manner that he does when he has you there to take care of them. He also may not take advantage of his visitation that the other parent is normally granted if he is drunk all the time. I will add children being raised without their biological fathers face many emotional obstacles in life regardless of the reasons. I would think heavily on the outcome of your children being without that person in their lives. He must work if he provides financially which means he’s not always drunk. His lifestyle choices may not be what you approve of but doesn’t necessarily make him an unfit father in the eyes of the court or even in the eyes of your children. I’m not being mean but this is the man you chose to have children with. I don’t know that you just get to up and decide he’s not their Dad anymore.
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Video of when he’s drunk taken to court.
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Well first off does he want custody or 50/50? My ex and I did our divorce without lawyers and he gave me sole custody. And he’s a good dad. Sees them when he can. Buys them stuff. Loves being around them as they grew up. Custody just didn’t work with his life & job at the time. I had full custody but when he wanted to see the kids they were always available to him. We are still good friends. I know our situation is rare.
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You have to go to the court and file for full custody and to have his right limited or terminated, but you also have to prove that he is an unfit parent
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If there is no signs of abuse and no records. You have no case. If people have seen him over drink and is abusive then you can have them write down dates and what they saw. So the judge has more of a bigger picture.
But dads who usually pay child support and see them even if it’s 1 time a month. The judge usually gives them 1 day a week visitation.
I need a lawyer
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I did my entire divorce with a pro-bono lawyer through the court. I printed all of the papers off-line and filed them myself and the lawyer told me what to say. Sole-custody is usually given to people with reasons behind it (hasn’t paid child support, doesn’t see the child, is in jail, was abusive, does drugs, etc.) It doesn’t hurt to try but if he fights, he will probably get visitation. I did mine in Texas in 2015.
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Ugh my x use to drink,n act stupid,I’d say,ask a CPS worker maybe since he drinks,he should only have supervised visits,I was with my sons dad 4 10yrs,n never did would i believe he do what he did to his first born son,molested him,drinking led to doing drugs again,n that’s a shocker
"Just looking out for the kids " is exactly what the judge wants to hear. At the end of the day it’s for the best interest in the kids. Go in their be positive be firm and try not to nip pick at the little things.(not saying you are) They just dont care for anything except the kids. I have sole custody. No lawyer but I did get as much as legal advice as possible. Than again I wasnt going through a divorce. So in other case I would get legal aid ,maybe drop into the self help center and they help tons. May everything work in your favor. And always keep a positive insight. Negativity will only set a poor ora:muscle:
praying for you
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It’s really hard to take his rights away but that doesn’t mean you can’t be the primary care taker if he pays he gets to see them even if he doesn’t pay the courts just don’t give away his rights because what you believe you need to get a lawyer you could go to family Court in your town and ask more
If he’s a good dad why are you wanting full sole custody. It’s doing things like taking kids away from the father that messes with the kids head. This is the reason more men are depressed and want to do things to themselves because mothers are quick to think there god and stop them from visiting.
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Have you tried therapy? Not to stay married but for him to stay being a dad? That would be best
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If you can speak well, and represent yourself in a professional manner…provide factual evidence and remain focused you can do this.
I represented myself throughout my divorce proceedings and won my case, as well as full sole physical and full legal custody of my kids.
Best of luck
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You can get supervised visits through the courts if you ask
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He’s a good dad but you want to keep him from the kids? Don’t do that to your children. Parental alienation is abuse. They will hate you when they get older.
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Omg girl this is like my life exactly except for the lottery tickets instead he is constantly buying stuff for his car(really we don’t have money for that stuff!)
Sad to say but first to assistance gets custody until the other fights .
Have you tried talking to him? I would tell him if he doesnt go see a mental health professional and stop drinking you’re done and leaving with the kids.
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Unless they are in physical danger getting sole custody is very unlikely.
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If you go into court without an attorney and he has one, they will eat you alive. Just being honest! If your state is like where i live, they will make you go to mediation first also.
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You can’t just get sole custody. And why youd want too is beyond me. You’ve said he supports the kids and loves them. No ones perfect and taking the children from their dad will do irreversible harm to their mental health. A judge would not likely award sole custody
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You might not be able to get sole custody unless there is abuse involved…but you may be able to get full custody so you have them 90% of the time. Kids need both parents so they have to have a really really good reason to take his rights away
Go to the courthouse talk to the clerk of the court. File indigency paperwork along with the divorce papers. Depending on the state, you should be able to find both sets of paperwork online to fill out, or at your local public library
If he loves and supports his kids how can you want them completely taken away from him?
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If hes a good dad and sees them…the court probably wont give you full custody. Maybe talk to him about how his decisions are affecting your kids.
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That’s not fair to the kids. You say he’s a good dad and he loves them and supports them. If you want to go that route you better make sure you have evidence that he is unfit. Sounds more like you have personal issues with him. Kids aren’t pawns.
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Seems like you’re just trying to move on with someone new and have bio dad as a paycheck smdh. You need to establish a coparenting plan and not take his children from him. That’s selfish as hell. They deserve their father in their lives just as much as they deserve you.
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You NEED a lawyer. No matter what.
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Sole custody and primary placement are 2 totally different things. Definitely do your research
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You’re gonna have a lot of hoops to jump through. Guardian ad litem, mediation, etc. Those alone will be thousands together. Unless you have proof, it will be hard to prove and you’ll more than likely get 50/50
You said he is a good dad, financially supports the children, and loves them. Yet, you want to take his children away. Sounds like he needs a anger management and/or parenting class and to drink less. He is not abusive, thus does not deserve to never see his kids. Unless there is abuse, custody should be 50/50. How would you feel if someone took your kids away because of a few flaws? Give him a chance to be better. Him having the kids half the time solo will force him to step up and grow.
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Well, to get sole custody you have to be ABLR to afford a lawyer because you haveto make a certain amount of money a month per child outside of mortgage or rent. And if he supports ALL of you financially, and you cant afford a lawyer, then there is noway you can be able to do sole unless he was trying to kill yall or something drastic. Been there.
And i dont understand how if he supports yall and loves your kids, why on earth would you take that away? Thats incredibly baffling to me. My daughters dad was not in her life at all and i STILL had to go through that and thank god i worked alot and made enough money
No judge will give you sole custody with what you have explained. It’s not as easy as you think it is. You can’t just take another parents rights away because you want to. There needs to be lots of reasons and proof for it. Good luck.
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Make him go to rehab. Trust me, kids being around a drunk is not good for them, not matter how much the drunk loves them.
I think he will have visitation as long as he is not abusive
Talk to social services
I love how mediocre dad is cool while being married and in the household…but mediocre dad not ok after a divorce. You keep saying, but he’s a good dad?? Ok, well then if he is a good dad there should be no question involved…I think a divorce automatically makes people point fingers…the more you argue the more money your lawyers and family courts make off of you and your family. Let your husband see his kids…
, And if he happens to be the one that can provide for them and you cant, why in the heck would you get sole custody?? Because you’re mom?? I call BS sorry…if you live close enough 50/50
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Unless your husband agrees to custody arrangements then you will need a lawyer but regardless it needs to be taken care of in court and you need a court order for it to be official
My ex tried to use a drinking problem I had when I was 24 to take my kid away and because I admitted I was going through a bender that year they treated me like an alcoholic the entire case and I still didn’t lose my child. You need to think long and hard why this behavior was acceptable while you were married and now all of a sudden you feel he is placing the children in immediate danger. If it’s just something sad and pathetic that he does a few times a month, be aware the court will most likely not allow you sole custody. That is reserved for abuse and neglect. You need to think long and hard whether the awkwardness of being forced to coparent if the judge doesn’t allow sole custody is worth the risk. I am here to tell you from firsthand experience that having to realize your partner did literally nothing to help you get well while they had vowed in sickness and in health and are now saying you are unfit will make him absolutely hate you. If you are okay with the risk, file for emergency temporary custody, but be prepared for it to be denied. I’m just saying.
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Well if I were you, I would get an attorney. Custody cases are usually a nasty fight. Two, document everything with dates and times…when/if he’s intoxicated, finding bottles of alcohol, his moods all of it. That can help your case. It might be good to say that once he gets counseling, and stops drinking that custody could possibly be revisited. I am sure you don’t want him to not have his kids. That way, he can be a good supportive dad, like you say he wants to be.
I do agree that at the moment, he needs to deal with his demons first. Maybe make it to where he has supervised visits. So…lawyer, documentation, and supervised visit until he is better.
That’s not gonna happen if he isn’t abusive or on drugs. The dad has a right to see his children just because you don’t want to be with him don’t mean you can take your kids and any judge would chew your ass out
There’s practically no chance of getting full custody if he is not abusing them or an otherwise unfit parent. Think about what not having their father around at all will do to them.
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Anyine who hoes into court without an attorney automatically loses.The wrong parent can go in with an attourney and win even though that parent isnt fit.The attournies always lie for their clients.
He financially supports them. You don’t. Court isn’t going to side with that. And won’t take the kids cause he likes to gamble and drink after work lol
Unfortunately I don’t think that’s enough for a judge to strip the man of custody. AA might be something to suggest in court though.
In most states you won’t have a chance no matter what at sole custody! It’s not what’s best for most kids they need dad too!
If you keep your kids from their father they are going to grow up to resent you. Don’t try to keep him away, if he’s acting like a fool they will realize and maybe at some point not even want to spend time with him.