How do I deal with my fiance gaslighting me? I can’t leave, so that isn’t an option…
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Do not marry them. Stall. You can& should eventually get out. For now, it would be good to find a therapist or good friend to talk to to work out the conflicts in your head vs what they are telling you. You will most.likely only upset them if you insist on calling out their nonsense. Just know you are NOT crazy, they ARE being manipulative, and you absolutely deserve better.
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Make sure you root yourself. Don’t let him manipulate your thoughts, so stay rooted in what you’re standing for.
Don’t engage, and don’t be predictable.
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Everyone can always leave
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Stay strong n quietly plan your escape.
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You can leave… there is SOMEBODY out there willing to help you out and take you in. Stop making excuses to stay because you think things will eventually get better! They won’t! What you allow is what will continue. Leaving the comforts of your home is hard, but it’s worth it. You can get comfortable somewhere else. You’ve got to ask yourself, “am I really in love, or is this just habit”.
Only you can control your happiness. If you have the time to post a post, you have the time to call for a ride outta there!
Sorry, not sorry… I was her, I made every excuse not to leave, I ended up beat, I wish I would’ve listened to my family’s advice rather than go through 48 hours of torment. LEAVE
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You can leave, it may be difficult but you can. Gaslighting will never stop. It’s a control thing.
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Call a domestic abuse hotline and they can point you to some resources. This will continue and get worse.
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You can get out. He has just intimidated you enough to make you think you can’t. Start talking to family members and friends and find someone to stay with initially. Slowly take small boxes of your belongings and sneak them out of the house and keep them at someone’s place for a little while. Starting over isn’t always easy in the beginning. Yes you may struggle for a little bit… But it always improves and you will thank yourself. You can do this. Live your best life, focus on yourself and start gaslighting him back. While you were still there with him, just do you. Do your own thing and avoid him. You can do this
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What is gaslighting mean
Yes you can leave. You are your own person and can do whatever you want or need to do.
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You can leave. Even if you have no friends family money NOTHING.
There is places to help and places to go. Don’t waste any of this short life. X
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I was in a toxic marriage for 15 years. I thought I could change the gaslighting, narcissist in him. I thought if I did thing how he wanted it would all work out. I thought I couldn’t leave too. But I did and I’m so much happier. Things won’t change, they only get worse. Make a plan and get out.
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Leaving is an option. Reach out , speak your mind, stand up for yourself, don’t listen when they try to make you feel like you can’t do anything without them. You as a person not matter your gender you can always do what’s best for you ! You come first!
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Why can’t you leave??? Of course you can
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Leaving is always an option. Make a plan and get out.
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You CAN leave, though!
You can always leave.
Some can’t leave narcissists. Sometimes it’s safer to stay than it is to leave, especially if kids are involved. There is a thing called grey rock. Look that up and maybe it will help you alittle bit.
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Dont engage!! It will make him madder he will try harder dont engage try to ignore the meaness he wants that reaction dont give it to him…give him rules to fighting no name calling no degrading no talking down no condescending stay on topic fine if hes mad but he needs to come to u respectfully with his issue if he doesn dont engage!!! Let him throw his sissy fit and no i dont mean hissy I mean sissy cause men shouldnt throw fits period!
It you’re engaged and they’re doing this now it’s likely that it will continue and/or get worse. Gaslighting is so stressful to deal with. Try to reach out to a free counselling or IPV service if possible to help you make a plan.
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It gets worse trust me. Start making plans to safely leave. The sooner the better! I would call social services and see what is available to you to get out now. They have a lot of resources.
Why can’t you leave??? U just don’t want to…
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Can’t lives on won’t street
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U are stronger than you think!
If you can’t leave because you don’t think that’s an option then why is this post being made. We aren’t going to condone abuse.
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Most of us start over with absolutely nothing. You can do this
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My experience with gaslighters is that they don’t change. Stay connected to your support system (they try to get you isolated) and talk about what’s going on so you know you’re not crazy. There are some other suggestions in the article below:
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Leaving is an option for everyone. Not the easiest to do, but most of the time, it’s the only way to break the cycle & be happy. I doubt your partner will change, but you could try counselling.
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Try to leave, but for the meantime just don’t show any emotion, don’t react. Just stick to facts in conversation.
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I’m sorry I just have to go to the beginning. I just absolutely don’t understand because you know it can’t be new Behavior. So why is it a great idea to get engaged or have a baby or get married?
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Get ahold of a DV advocate, you can leave
You need to leave. Take his control away. It is an option. Contact a DV agency. Go into their & follow their program. It’s not easy or fun. But in a few years when you’ve learned to overcome the abuse & living a good life without it you’ll be happy you chose the difficult, uncomfortable route. The longer you stay the harder it’s going to be to recover from it.
It’s ALWAYS an option!
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You need to leave… Why would you put up with that type of behavior? 95% of us on here are going to tell you this. A good person cannot condone this.
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It won’t get better.
Just go okay and ignore it. The good thing is you are aware of what he is doing. Whenever I have gone through it I just agreed but really didn’t care what they thought. It was actually quiet humorous to me because he thought he was actually doing something to me. Don’t believe him. You know you are not crazy and you actually are remembering things as they really did happen and you are not less then him. Don’t forget that. As soon as you have money, a place or whatever you are going through, get out. ASAP.
Uh you have a voice don’t ya. You’ve got legs right? Just cause you feel stuck doesn’t mean you are. There are resources shelters lots of stuff that can help you and your looking in the wrong direction. Asking here isn’t the best.
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There is no way of dealing with someone who gaslights… it gets worse, in fact. You need to leave…
You leave. You gotta find a path otherwise you leave dead or broken
You can’t leave? I left with no job, no car, and no money, WITH SIX kids under the age of 10. You CAN leave. 4 years later, and we’ve built the most amazing life, with a now beautiful home, and a beautiful vehicle, we call our own. Plus one more kid. If I can do it, so can you.
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If you have a door you can exit through you can leave. He will never change.
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Start making an escape plan…save money, plan out your escape. Not sure if children are involved, but if so start looking into shelters or speaking with trusted family to see if someone will let you stay there.
well if you can’t leave, don’t marry him… don’t completely bind yourself to him legally…
You “can’t “ leave? Or you will not leave?
How do I handle this you ask?
Get used to it!
Why would you stay in that situation??
Whatis. Gas. Liteing
Are you dead? No? Okay. Then leave.
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I mean, too CAN leave…
I’m gonna be the odd one here I guess.
Not everyone realizes when they are gaslighting. People gaslight way more often than they think. You probably do it to sometimes. My advice is too talk to him and explain how you feel and bring up an example. Let him know your not mad but want to resolve what might be the issue. But after that if he obviously isn’t willing to talk it out or work on that, then I’d leave. And you can leave. Always an option. I know its hard 
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You leave! That doesn’t get better!
Leaving is always an option 
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As hard as it is to leave now, it will be harder later. I say that as someone who has been there and also thought I couldn’t leave. I should have left before we ever got married, and I should have listened to my intuition.
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It doesn’t get better, only worse. Get out while you are able
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Well u can always leave lol its always an option
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Find a way out, plan. Don’t actually marry this person. Grey rock.
u cant leave or u wont leave u always have a choice to leave that choice is urs but i wouldnt stay
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For everyone saying “leave” have CLEARLY never been in a relationship like this with no help or resources. She clearly said leaving isn’t an option so stop trying to make it one. Unless you’re trying to find out who she is and go remove her from said situation yourself and offer up a house for her.
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leavings the first and best option you
You absolutely can lèave. But start calling him out. When he realizes you know what it is he mày back down. But he’ll also start dòing other things. It’ll nèver completely stòp unless you lèave.
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Try to talk about it. Get into therapy if this is someone you think can come to the realization of what they’re doing and is willing to work on it. If not, seriously consider what your future is going to look like with someone like this and If it’s worth it. I am about to leave a 15yr marriage full of gas lighting that turned into emotional and verbal abuse. I’m terrified for myself and my kids since this is the life we’ve only known but I know my kids and myself don’t deserve this. My only regret isn’t leaving sooner.
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You can always leave. It is definitely an option.
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You should leave. That’s always an option. Find a way.
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The word “gaslighted” is so overused and used too loosely 
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I get that leaving right this second may not be an option. But you have to work towards making it an option. What you don’t change, you choose. So if you aren’t doing anything to make leaving a possibility, you’re choosing to stay in that relationship. Leaving ALWAYS is an option. You have to work at it though.
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Well if you are going to stay with a narcissist, then the only way to handle it is to just put up with it. He isn’t going to change.
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You’re not married yet. Build a nest egg of cash until you are ready to leave. Try to hold off on the wedding as long as u can. Keep a locked hidden file somewhere and write everything down and date it. Try call him out but remember you are poking the bear he may keep turning it around. Be aware of your surroundings. Have an out. Like a friend u can visit. Keep them in the loop of what’s happening. If there are no kids involved, look after you first.
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When a narcissist is saying and doing everything hurtful thing they can just to get you riled up, you have to act like it doesnt even phase you. They will push you to your limits and say whatever they know hurts you the most. So the biggest thing is DONT REACT, and they will get bored with it.
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It’s really simple leave if you can’t be the one to point out the issue I’ve been with a narcissist for 7 almost 8 years and he’s aware of being a narcissist I’ve made him do his own research on narcissism so he can hold him self accountable for his own actions and our relationship has improved because he is trying to break the cycle his dad is a narcissist so it was learned behavior we both aren’t perfect but we aren’t scared to point out the flaws in each other but when we do have our very serious conversations we make sure we both are 100% calm in order not to escalate the situation more
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If you say you can’t leave, it makes it very hard to give advice. I mean there are people who are very strong and can manage to not absorb the gaslighting (and I would be willing to bet if there is gaslighting, there is more abuse) but it means being on your toes ALL THE TIME. And even then, it affects you…trust me. It is unhealthy to have to live with your guard up 24/7. It will start to take a toll on you. If you really feel like you can’t get out, say that you can’t get out right now instead. But seriously start looking for ways that you can get out eventually. This does not get better! I have another suggestion but I would not suggest it if the person you are with seems dangerous to you. Speak your truth all the time. You don’t have to do it in an aggressive way that will start fights but constantly let him know that you don’t buy what they are saying. Whenever he says something that is gaslighting, counter that with the truth. I’ve had someone gaslight me by trying to convince me that I am crazy. Thankfully I had had about three years with a good counselor and at that point I could just laugh at him and say don’t worry about me, I’m fine.
I keep referring to the person as him… Sorry if that is not the case. I realize that it could be a her just as easily.
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There are always options. Don’t say it isn’t one. Just say you won’t leave him. If you choose to stay in a bad situation maybe suggest you both do individual and couples counseling before marriage.
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That’s the only option. Leave and block all contact
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Call him on it. That’s what I did. Didn’t change anything, made for lots of arguments; but I wasn’t about to let him get away with thinking I was a fkn idiot or that he was getting away with anything.
You won’t leave. Not can’t
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Gaslighting is abuse it can turn to worse abuse …there is always a way out
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You only have two options.
Leave.
Stay.
It’s not that you can’t leave. It’s that you won’t leave.
Leaving is the only way to deal with a gaslighting narcissist because they will NEVER change. Staying just solidifies their hood/control on you and believe me, all that’s gonna do is ruin your life.
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Dont stay dependent on anyone.
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Can’t leave? People have a choice. You either have had enough and leave or suck it up and just deal with it until you’re so numb you aren’t living. You’re not married. You start saving money and document absolutely everything. Email documents to yourself in case your phone breaks. You delay the wedding. Don’t marry him and build a support system while you’re at it that’s outside of your home because it’s going to get worse. It doesn’t get better with a gaslighting narcissist. It’s abuse.
He’s gaslighted you to the point where you THINK you CANT leave. You can. And if you don’t, it doesn’t end well.
Some people get accustomed to abuse and it ends in tragedy.
Leaving is always an option! I left my fiancé weeks before our BIG wedding day. If he is already doing this it will not change! You will be happier in the long run. Get out now!
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This is a very vague question/post…
How is he gas lighting you for one and why can’t you leave as an option for two??? Are you a prisoner and if you are staying due to your own accord then you have almost provided one of your variable answers…
Help us help you out here…
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Leave before he becomes your narc baby daddy and not just your narc fiance
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You need to work towards making it an option. You Need to Leave. No it’s, and or buts. You deserve better. Go find better.
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The option to leave is there, you are choosing not to leave! If he is treating you like this now, you think it’ll get better once you’re married with children…WRONG!! It will only get worse. If you stay, that’s your choice and if he continues you can’t complain because you have options, yet for whatever reason you are choosing not to utilize them
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Well… really the only way to truly handle it is to eventually leave. They won’t stop regardless of what they say or what you do.
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Unless he’s pointing at you with a gun, then there’s absolutely nothing making you stay there, if you stay it’s because you choose to
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You can’t stay. Gaslighting will destroy you. You will no longer recognize yourself if you do stay. It doesn’t matter how much you love them. It doesn’t matter if you can’t afford to be alone. This will have you questioning your own sanity eventually if it hasn’t already. Call a domestic violence advocate or shelter if there are others thing going on too or if you’re afraid of what your partner will do if you try to leave. The only thing you can do for gaslighting is leave the person who is doing it too you, leave now. Don’t wait.
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There’s no way you can love someone or help someone into working on themselves mentally. It’s a choice they need to make on their own.
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You can leave 
Save up money & go. Women’s shelters, friends or family members.
Why is he your fiance?
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Nothing if your not gonna leave it doesn’t go away so your life is gonna be hell so sure you walk one day by way they not faithful loyal they betray u to another level so if u don’t leave this statues is pointless wait for the storm good luck never stops never change never ends till u walk 11 yrs had it 4 kids later nightmare .
Never tolerate it
Leaving is always an option don’t be ridiculous
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The fact that you believe you can’t leave means that the gaslighting will only get worse, and he will continue to abuse and control you worse and worse. Because he KNOWS he’s got you.
Figure out how to leave. You can’t change an abuser
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The gaslighting and his narcissistic ways have already made u believe leaving isn’t a option?!?!
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Each time he does it, point it out, give him the facts and tell him to shove anything he says up his you know what. If he still doesn’t agree say you’ll agree to disagree on the different view points but yours still stands firm.
If your not going to leave you don’t have much of a choice but to accept it. By staying your allowing yourself to be treated that way
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If you are gonna stay…stop complaining about it…there is always options to change the situations
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Plenty of places out there to help you leave and get back on your feet.
Head down to your local woman’s shelter and have a chat to a social worker
Leave or just put up with his stupid stuff and don’t complain!
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Know you’re being gaslit by a narcissist. Keep your head strong. Don’t believe a word he says about you. Both of you need to change. Learn how to fight back in a way he understands. I cannot express this enough, know that what he says, is only trying to make you angry, know it isn’t true, and do the exact opposite of what he’s saying you’re doing or how you are to know that it isn’t true. When I say you have to have a strong mind I mean that. Enjoy yourself, stop being around him, period.