How to handle toddler tantrums?

Hi I’m a first time mom and my 1 and a half year old throws horrible fits. He’s been screaming and crying now for the last 20 minutes for a popsicle. Hes already an active baby and I’m teaching him he won’t always get what he wants. I just want to know what to do to cut down the screaming time or should I leave him alone, console him, hug him, etc. Tia

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Let him throw his fit/tantrum he will eventually stop.

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I would console him but I would not give him his own way

Hug him maybe his teeth hurt and popsicle makes it better

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Leave the room. It’s for attention.

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Hug him and tell him why he cant have a popsicle. But don’t give him one

My 2nd son did it all the time. I told him let me know when he’s done and we could talk about it and if he cried again I said the same thing over again.

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I usually put my 2.5 year old in time out and tell him when he’s done he can get up…and I ignore him while he’s doing it, because giving him attention good or bad, fuels the fit…fits don’t last very long anymore…

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Just let him throw his fit but don’t give in. He will get tired n stop

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Try to ignore him he will learn that this behavior won’t get him what he wants

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As long as he’s not going to hurt himself or others, let him throw his fit and ignore it. Once he’s calmed down, talk to him about how he’s feeling (“I know you’re mad/sad/upset because you cant have a popsicle. It’s okay to feel that way but it’s not okay to scream about it. We can have one at x time.”).

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That’s a hard one all toddlers have different needs especially with teaching, comforting, disciplining etc. You might have to try different things till you find what works best for your family but whatever it is stay consistent .

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Leave him be, put some headphones in to drown him out a bit or just walk away and give yourself a break.

My 2 year old just started doing this!! It was really bad for about a week, now I just ignore him if he starts throwing a fit, and it may take a little, but he gets over it. Good luck!

Going through this now. the little tantrums have been tough to deal with but honestly leave him alone. a lot of times different things don’t help or make things worse. let him throw his fit and he will get over it eventually

I tell my 2 year old to sit on his bed and when hes done crying we can talk about it

Hugging is great. I would clearly explain why on his level and suggest fruit or a healthier option. If he refuses then you know it’s about sugar and not hunger. In any case be and stay consistent. If you give in because of the screams the later on try the no again he is getting mixed signals. Both of which will backfire and be unfair to him. I wish you the best. You can do it. Hang in there.

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Try to focus his attention on something else. You can’t have a popsicle, but here’s something else you can do or play with. Also pick your battles; that’s what my mom has always told me lol

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My daughter does something similar. If I can’t play with her or feed her to make her happy… I just give her some alone time in her crib. She usually sleeps cuz it’s mainly when she’s tired when she does that… but sometimes she’ll play for a few minutes & I’ll bring her back out. Sometimes she just likes being alone in her room.

My ex’s son was 3 and he did this ALL the time. Horrible Fits! To the point we had to hold him a certain way so he didn’t hit himself or us. We left him alone for a little while maybe 20-30 minutes unless he started hitting. And we would say “let me know when your done so we can continue with our day” and sometimes that calmed him down other times he just needed to cry. Yes the screaming sucks but we always told him “if you continue to scream you’ll be put in the other room until you are done” and he would scream in the other room until he fell asleep or stopped. I believe in letting them cry it out because let’s face it we ALL have to cry it out sometimes! But depending on the situation sometimes they just need a hug and for you to tell them it’s okay. Every situation is different! Screaming for a popsicle is inappropriate and I applaud you for sticking to your gun and not giving in. When he’s calmed down you can try talking about it. Getting eye level with him and asking why he wants a popsicle. Ask if his teeth hurt. My mom always gave us a carrot because we couldn’t bite into it or beef jerky or frozen banana. He could also just be crying because he wants a popsicle. Regardless parenting in my opinion is about trial and error. If letting him cry it out works then you know! If comforting him works! That’s great too! Every situation is different and that’s what great about it! You’re doing great!!

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He will probably wear hi.self out throwing the fit and take a nap. But I would just ignore him until he is done. When he settles down pick him and and love on him. Let him know that you love him but you don’t accept his behavior.

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A time out an after hes done you cuddle him with kisses … not before .

I never gave in to fits. I let them cry it out. You cant give in or he will think he can get away with it and keep doing it. Bad behavior didnt get any attention from me. Once or twice and it stopped

My baby girl does the same thing & I just let her scream but once it gets to a certain point we do pick her up so she can stop. We’re also weaning her off the pacifier sooo it sucks even more since it soothes her :weary:

Tantrums get no response from me. Since my kids (11&7) were tiny, if they wanted to scream and cry, they could do it in their room.

If it’s a legit problem (like an injury or being scared) then I’ll comfort them, but just being mad over a snack or toy is a no go here.

Now they have very seldom tantrums and if they do, they go to their rooms and write in their journals, which I allow 100% privacy

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Let him scream and cry. Make sure he can’t hurt himself and walk away. He’ll quit eventually.

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Sounds like terrible 2’s. Hang in there.
It happens mama.

Let him be. Dont acknowledge his screaming and crying and hell stop or fall asleep and stop. It’ll get better

Leave him. Let him get it out of his system. Stand your ground he will get over it

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Walk into another room. My kid did it once in a restaurant. I asked them to pack up our food and we left. She never did it again.

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Put in another room and ignore go back every once in a while and ask if he is ready to talk until he stops crying and let’s you tell him whatever it is you need to

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Stay consistant if they know they can break u once they will keep doing the behavior. Also try to take their attention elsewhere. Offer popsicles as a reward for good behavior not bad

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Redirect. I have to do that with my youngest daughter (18m) and she throws horrible temper tantrums when she doesn’t want me to do anything. I ask the typical “are you hungry/thirsty/etc” but if that doesn’t work then I take her up to her bedroom and let her calm down. There’s different toys I have in their bedroom versus the living room so there’s something that will catch her attention and help calm her down. Once she’s calm I’ll ask her if she wants to go back downstairs and most of the time she’ll say yes. I don’t just leave her to CIO anymore because she’ll make herself throw up, but all kids are different 🤷 so it’s whatever you feel is best momma. Hugs and support :heart:

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She will get tired. 72 year old mother of 3. Been there. Hold your ground😉

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It’s okay for him to be upset when you tell him no. He wanted something and he’s not getting it. You can’t expect him to know how to control his emotional response yet. Just tell him no and ignore the tantrum. He’ll get over it.

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I put my 16 month old in his crib for a time out when he does that. After realizing that’s the only reaction I will give him he stops. Then I tell him why I put him there and how it’s not ok to act that way and give loves. He rarely has tantrums now

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The terrible 2’s can start as early as 16 months! Sounds like your doing it right…patience momma and hold on.

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Put him somewhere safe and walk away, once he realizes he won’t get the attention he wants he’ll quit. Good luck mama!

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Talk to him, hug him, validate his feelings(you’re sad because you want a popsicle), explain that it’s not time for a popsicle even though he wants one. And then if he’s still screaming, let him be and quietly go about your business, checking on him occasionally if need be, until he settles down.

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I would isolate him. Put him in his crib with the door open. Or just give him the popsicle. you really do have to pick your battles. if it turned into something every day that would be one thing

Ignore him. He will learn that throwing a fit doesn’t work. (Words from my pediatrician😂)

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Hi I’m the one that asked the question :blush: thank you for the feed back. I left him alone and once he quieted down I gave him Graham crackers and a banana he went back to crying but once I turned on cartoons and left him alone he eventually ate that.

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Okay I may be different but I see no problem with letting him have one when he ask for one unless it’s close to lunch or supper then I always tell the " eat first then you can have one" teach him he can’t always get what he wants with items like toys and what nots not food I feel its worng to do a child that way over food,

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Ignore and check in every two minutes. This way he knows that you are willing to speak with him/her about the situation only when they have calmed down.

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I empathize with mine, “I know it’s tough kiddo, and I know you feel bad, that’s hard” then I give hugs or snuggles if she wants them. Or if hugs and snuggles are a bad solution to something she did we have practiced breathing which she now does most of the time she is starting to get worked up or is upset. She now stops and takes some big breaths and will occasionally tell me she needs space and sit in the same area but off to the side for a minute. She recently turned two. We also have a set time during the day for popsicles or a treat of sorts, I do however keep some fruit/veggie popsicles in the freezer for her if she wants extra due to her teeth bugging her

Try and keep in mind that even though it seems trivial that their world is not full of craziness yet so things that seem silly to get upset about are a big deal to them still.

Give him the popsicle. Why not?

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Ignore it. Hugs when the fit is over.

Yeah as long as you know the cause, ignore it and go about what you were doing. He’s testing his boundaries. When you give him MORE attention, he’s learning that This Gets Me Attention. Not a good thing for later in life.

I do time out, after he settles down, ask if my son is done, I give him a hug, and tell him why he was in time out, he then has to say sorry (he’s almost 2) and then re-direct.

It’s so hard my 2 year old does that with everything, I try to explain why no and then walk away and ignore it Or give him another option

Normal at this age. I usually talk it out with my daughter. But most of the time i put her in her room and try not to give her tantrum attention.

Console him, and try to do something else to distract his attention off what he’s screaming for

I ignored them. If they become a danger to them selves ( hitting their head, biting themselves) that’s when you should pick him up and just hug, in a soft voice say shhhhh, and sway back and forth. It could also be they are tired as well.
Once hes calm, you tell him no screaming, it hurts mamas ears. Kiss him and put him down. If he starts again, that’s when they go into their crib and you walk away. He wants attention. But they also have no idea how to communicate any of their emotions. They are learning. Dont ever give in when it comes to a tantrum…they will learn a bad lesson (scream like crazy and I get my popsicle).

Walk away and as long as he isn’t hurting himself let him scream or make him go to his room to scream it out

If you know he’s ok then ignore him. Talk about it after he’s calmed down

I’m following this post because I too need to learn how to handle the fits. My oldest will be 3 in October & my baby just turned 1 in May.