Also if you’re gonna do it by yourself then you need to be by yourself doing it 
took my husband 5 years to understand but he made the change. Theres no excuse. That’s not how you treat someone you love. Hes not even doing the bare minimum
He will never change. Don’t buy a house with him. Pack up you and the kids and GTFO!
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You know the answer. Just leave him.
Sit down and have a chat with him. Things were always hectic for me in the same situation. We came to an agreement I’d get 20 minutes once I got home to myself then full dad mode. Baring in mind I was doing just about everything after that 20 minutes due to certain things with my ex but it can be done. Most men need the unwind from work to reset into family mode but not doing anything is not ok.
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A working man comes homes exhausted … let him rest.
It sounds as though you are trying to be SUPER MOM …
Put away most of the toys … seriously. Leave out ones that take work to build, etc.
Spend time with your little one, reading etc. and have him by your side when you seep, or clean or bake. they love being with mom and learning. It makes things so much easier!
I promise
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That’s bullshit!!! My husband works 6 days a week, at least 70 hours a week, yet comes home and helps out. We have 6 kids! I’m so sorry hun, tell him to help out, or do nothing for him, you deserve a break to!
Talk to him set a deadline and if you don’t change I’m leaving. No changing your mind!
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Is she going to be able to work all day, then come home and get meals, laundry etc done, after she leaves him?
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My little ones occupied themselves. Yes he should interact with them, but when you get home from work, ya need a little down time, not more demands. If you want it to work, there has to be communication, and compromise. Good luck…
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stop doing his laundry and such and spend more time with the kids for his lack of time with them
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I actually disagree with what lots wrote. This is my husband. Well it was. He works a lot. Works his butt off. I’m at home with 6 young kids (by choice). When he gets home he wanted to rest and relax. Over the years and after more kids he is such an excellent help with the kids. I no longer have to ask to ask him to do anything. He does morning (6am) bottle feeds, coffee, helps with breakfast and the kids lunch etc. He comes home and immediately takes the baby for a bottle feed or Il with him for 1-2 hours so I can cook and take a timeout. Your husband can change. I had to nudge mine and he changed and has also never seemed happier.
Just a thought so it may not work… and might drive you crazy for a day or 2 but give it a try…go a couple days without tending to the house hold needs like vacuuming, sweeping, dishes, laundry etc and don’t cook a full home cooked meal (get microwave dinners he can fix or he can make himself a sandwich) if the kids make a mess in the social areas of the house leave it there …of course take care of the kids important needs but slack off on non important things and let him have a rude awakening of the things that wouldn’t get done if it wasn’t for you (no sex during this time either) if he doesn’t come to you and and try talking and showing genuine appreciation and care then you have your answer and know that your not appropriated in his eyes and it’s time to move on baby girl! If he does come to you to talk simply take that time to say I know you work 5 days a week, but so do I plus some! I just don’t get a paycheck for what I do and that you feel you don’t ask him for much and you’d appreciate it if he could help out just a little bit and that might would help give both of yall time to chill as a couple …if he can’t take his head out of his ass to hear you and understand you then bye Felicia!!!
He needs to get that YOU need time to chill out too. You made babies TOGETHER. They’re his responsibility too. The household and family is the responsibility of BOTH people. It’s not fair for him to work an 8 hour day then take it easy while you work and 18 hour day, plus being on call 24/7.
Simply put, he needs to get his head out of his ass. I’d try saying it more diplomatically at first, but if that doesn’t work, be blunt. He’s being selfish, thoughtless, inconsiderate, and irresponsible.
You didn’t just find out he was “Unaffectionate” 
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My ex never ever helped me with the kids
Well she needs to go somewhere that she can get help. A family member help. Assisted help. Etc. there’s help somewhere. She isn’t get much help from him, so does it matter really!!!
What really irks me is everybody mostly saying to leave her husband. Y’all don’t fight for nothing anymore. If she really wanted to leave him she would have already done it and she wouldn’t be here asking for validation and opinions.
Hun the only thing you can do is try talking to him. Communication is key. But comprehension is even more important. If talking doesn’t change anything then just stop catering to him and do what YOU need for YOU. I bet he’ll wanna talk then and see some changes too. But just tell him when he makes changes then you will too. What you allow will continue. Keep that in mind. Stop spoiling him and start spoiling yourself.
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He doesn’t want to understand. People will show you who they are.
Believe him the first time
he tells you.
Take important papers with you when you go …
birth certificates, social security and such.
If your husband has them
don’t ask just leave them
and go. The very best of life
is yet to come and your worth it girl!
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The solution to this problem is; find a reason to be out of the house when dad gets home. Go to the gym, go run errands, go do something else for at least 2 hours. That will force dad to step up & realize just how exhausting it is to raise kids. Yes, he works & that’s great. Yes, he may pay the bills & that’s great, but he needs to understand just how exhausting it is to raise humans. If he doesn’t realize what you go through every single day, he won’t realize how hard it is. He needs to realize that making all of the money is JUST as hard as raising the kids & keeping the home. The second I got a part time job was the day my husband realized how hard my job of raising our kids actually is. It’s all about balance & helping each other out but men don’t realize it until they have to live it. Go get yourself a part time job & let that man realize what it’s really like to raise kids & a keep a house.
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Communication is key. I’m a SAHM, my husband works 80+ hours a week. Hits the door and immediately is all about helping get our kids ready for bed so I can decompress for a few! He knows I’m exhausted, I know he’s exhausted! But we’re a team. After over 13 years together we’ve learned it takes us both to make our crazy life work. Team work makes the dream work! Lots of communication, compromise, and understanding! Leaving him isn’t the answer. Figuring out wday works for you both abs putting it into action is a good place to start.
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My first husband could hardly wait to get home to our one/only child! He never whined about having to be a father, he actually loved it! He wasn’t the greatest husband though!!
Don’t buy house together. Especially if you tried to talk to him.
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He has to want to understand. Having kids together isn’t a reason to stay with him. I was a SAHM when my then husband and I split. It was not easy in the bit. But I made it. And you can too. Have faith. Pray about it.
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Run! I know you have kids with them but if he won’t help with his kids too you don’t want to buy a house with him or marry him trust me any man who won’t help regardless of what he does all day is not the one you want
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Please go speak to your DR x
Communicate with your husband. Tell him how you are feeling. Good luck 
Both have to compromise with each other communicate express feelings… both right and wrong
I find that they only sit up and take note when it directly starts to affect them, so what I would do is take care of the home, the kids and yourself but anything he needs or wants don’t do. when he asks what’s wrong explain that you’re trying to make him see that he needs you for stuff , cooking, laundry, paperwork, errands, and you need him for stuff.
Hope it helps and good luck x x
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It begs to be answered, why have another baby with someone who didn’t help with the first one? You expect him to help father a second child but he didn’t even help with the first one. Personally, I’d tell him he was going to help with the kids he fathered or id be a single mom. It’s really the only thing you can do. He will get weekends and then has NO choice but to take care of his kids. Then pick yourself someone who respects you. Everyone needs a little rest time after work but when you have children you dont get that until they are older.
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He’s worked all day but so have you! But you do it for free, the hours are radiculous and you don’t get weekends off. Why does he get to clock off at home time but you don’t.
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Give him an ultimatum, so maybe it will help open his eyes. No house if he doesn’t talk to you and listen and hear what you’re saying. And…he needs to participate more. He should want to spend time with his kids, because that’s what good dads do. You need to talk to him again and again, until he understands and wakes up.
Tell him he has to start stepping up and being a father. That this is a real big issue and things are not going well. If he still doesn’t do anything leave and show him you are serious.
Sounds like y’all might want to get a professional opinion here. Try seeking a marriage counselor he isn’t doing enough and that reflects on your behavior. It’s a team work job to raise kids.
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Sounds like you might need to have a chat with your doctor, could it be postnatal depression
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I feel like I could have written this post myself. Honestly I just got to that point where I just do the kids and myself. I have tried countless times to talk and explain things to my partner and nothing changes. If it does change it’s very short lived or it’s only because his sucking up to me for one reason or another.
I don’t understand why women keep having children by a man they do not want or a man that will not help them.
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what you allow will continue to happen… maybe it’s just me but i don’t put up with the bullshit… you either be a parent and contribute or there’s the door! i refuse to be with a man who just sits on his ass and ignores his kids while i raise them. i can’t tell you how many times i’ve sat back and watched dads just do absolutely nothing with their kids while i watch the moms silently looking and hoping for help. it’s sad and messed up
One night just go off for a walk away from the kids and him don’t tell him just go even id it’s for 20 mins see how he gets on
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Wow a house is so much work who is going to do all the maintenance if he only wants to sit on his phone?
I told mine that if I was going to be treated like a single mom then I’d damn sure make it the reality and if he didn’t start helping with HIS kids then I was done and now we have 4 and are getting married in June and he’s been so much better. He works night shift now and sleeps most the day but from the time he wakes up till he leaves for work he helps me with the kids, cooking, dishes, and putting the kids to bed every night… and we also get to watch a movie or two together because we tackle everything that needs done as a team and get it done quicker
He definitely needs counseling to be a better person all around. The lack of empathy is appalling, especially for someone he claims to love. My husband didn’t understand how exhausting it is to be a SAHM until he had to keep our kid the whole day. He was frustrated, irritated, stressed, tired, and constantly texting or calling me with questions. After that, I haven’t heard a damn thing from him.
Uhhh welcome to a man with a 1920’s view on women and gender duties. It will not change. TAKE IT FROM ME, IT WILL NOT CHANGE. If this is something you truly cannot deal with, better leave now.
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Cheat on him n just let him be the provider or leave him, hes never gonna change anyways thats just how he is n it doesnt matter how many times you tell him
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Been there… done that. Sorry, but you are a live in maid, housekeeper & nanny. He may not ever change. That’s why I left and then became a happy, fulfilled person.
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You can’t change him sis…
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Seriously it takes two…you’re only telling your side…this didn’t just happen…you have a 5 year old together…communicate…by making this post it seems you’re just looking for sympathy.
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Why have 2 kids if you had these problems after the first one.
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Unfortunately he won’t chAnge. im 86 yrs old and in my experience people do not change much after certain Age. He sounds selfish and seems to think his work is all he has to do. Try telling him how you feel and if he won’t listen or try to accommodate then maybe think of leaving
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Honestly you and the kids would be better off without him. He obviously doesn’t give a crap about you or them. I’m sorry, I know that is hard to read, but the sooner you get away, the better.
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Definitely do not buy a house with him. When you have had enough you will leave. They don’t usually change and if they try it is usually short lived. Take my word. It is easier taking care of two kids instead of three and he is your third child.
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I have a 2 year old and a 4mo old. Mine is the same way. My kids wont sleep at the same time so I feel like I never get more than 2-3 hours of sleep a day. I’m a SAHM and he works full time. But what I do is way harder. I need help. And I get “I dont want her” when I need to do anything. it is exhausting. No advice. Just wanted you to know you arent alone.
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Get a sitter once a month or every two weeks.
Counceling or separation. Till he does.
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I’d start running errands after work and stuff without the kids and force him to watch his children while you get some time away. We’ve all done it, 1/2 in the store parking lot with a coffee or a short nap. So what you need to do for yourself and see if he comes around if he doesn’t then you have your answer
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Oh gosh. That’s gonna be a divorce. He’s married a woman to be his mama. That never works out well. Weaponized incompetence and neglect are poor bedfellows. I’m so sorry. Go stay with your mama and make sure you get a REALLY good lawyer. Max everything out you can financially in the divorce. He’ll probably only want every other weekend and flake out on those anyway. You’ll find another man who will be a great dad and partner. Because this man is not and never will be.
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Been there. I dubbed him the 10 minute father, and that’s being generous. For us, it didn’t get better because he didn’t care to help work at it with me. Things, in fact, got worse, and he started cheating. Divorce followed promptly.
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You can’t change him. Only your situation! Move on if he doesn’t help you or give you what you need because there are good fathers and men out there. He just doesn’t sound like one
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Don’t get the house together!!! Talk to him, let him know you’re serious and maybe bring up a divorce and see what he says
First of all - get your tubes tied and stop having his babies.
Secondly - he can’t be fixed. His momma failed him.