How to help my two year old

I have a 2 yr old and we are having problems getting him to talk.He isn’t talking at all. The most we get out of him is either “no” or “yeah”. Beyond that he doesn’t talk.I know kids do things at their own speed but I feel like we are failing him.He understands when we tell him to do things like pick up a toy or put them away or it’s bath time. He has no problem understanding it’s just talking.When he points to things we are constantly saying what the object is,but still no talking. The other problem we’re facing is that we’ve been told that he shouldn’t potty train until he can actually talk and tell us he needs to use the potty.The problem with this is he hates wearing a diaper he would rather run around naked than have a diaper on.He will literally right in front of me pull his pants down, rip his diaper off and run away.I’m just worried about him not talking and now getting him potty trained.Any advice would be appreciated!
50 Likes

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How to help my two year old

Start speech therapy.
He could start talking at 3 no problem or not be saying anything more by 3.
Better safe than sorry. My son was also taking occupational therapy for his very very shkrt attention span lol
Made a HUGE diff. Start of 2021 he said maybe 4 words.
Now hes saying way over 150 words and hes much more understandable. His attention span is still very short but were working on it at home some

3 Likes

My girl is 3 and I’d finally just starting to talk, she’ll be 4 in May. She still isn’t saying full sentences but she’s getting there. She’s a smart cookie, she understands everything we say, she’s finally potty training now. She’ll go on her own too. I was worried just like you, I felt daycare helped a lot. They weren’t too concerned with her speech either and assured me that it would just be a matter of time. If you are concerned, talk to your child’s family doctor or pediatrician.

1 Like

My son will be 3 in 3 months and literally just started talking a couple months ago. He’s a watcher. He understood what we said and she’s it. Dr and I talked about speech therapy but said let’s wait bc you never know. If he wants to potty train then do it. My son wanted to use the potty at 20months old…should’ve started it then bc now he doesn’t want to

Look into early intervention (birth to 3 program) in your state for an evaluation to see if he would qualify for speech services

3 Likes

I think your Ped is the best start, not sure how it works where you are, but where I was, they referred us to specialists as my two year old would just make sounds and used no words. He had speech therapy every week, he did really good, he’s now 4.5 and speaking great, still has help with letter pronunciation etc, what helped him was being around other kids, he’s thriving since pre k started. You are doing great! You have noticed and want to do something about it! Try not to stress, he will get there!
Oh, and my boy potty trained in a day without using a single word at 2 and a half, they don’t need to be verbal at all. Read his cues. The book “oh crap potty training” works wonders! Will put your mind at ease before you even start :heart:

Have a developmental pediatrician examine him. My nephew was similar and he needed his frenulum snipped - he was tongue tied. My other nephew was also potty trained before he could talk - when they’re ready, they’re ready.

1 Like

start speech therapy.

I have a degree in Child Development, as well as Special Education background. From your post, it does sound like he maybe behind in language. Early intervention is so important so reaching out now will be more beneficial than waiting until preschool or kindergarten. I would make an appointment with a pediatrician so they can make necessary referrals. In Missouri we have a program called First Steps. Maybe check to see if there’s a program in your state that’s similar. And just know you are doing nothing wrong, mama. Some kids just need support outside the home. :heart:

3 Likes

He can let you know if he has to go potty in other ways than speaking. If he’s taking the diaper off he’s ready

3 Likes

My son didn’t start talking until after 2. He was very shy . Now he talks just fine 17yrs old now.

1 Like

Sounds like he can talk just doesn’t want to yet…if he understands you go ahead and potty train sounds like he’s ready to me.

2 Likes

Most children don’t talk until 3 years old don’t worry about it if he doesn’t like diapers introduce him to the potty chair make it fun he doesn’t need to talk to use the potty my son was potty trained well before he talked be patient everything will come

2 Likes

Mine was the same way. It started with his ears. He had a lot of ear infections and I never understood why because I never aloud no one to smoke by him. He had tubes in and speech therapy and it helped tremendously.

5 Likes

Please ignore these people trying to scare you. My son didn’t tak til he was 4. It’s so normal. He potty trained fine with out talking the first couple times we tried he wasn’t with it until we took his diaper off for the day he finally started going to the potty! On his own even. I did have to ask every couple mins if he needed to potty once we put undies on that he picked out! But it worked. He still didn’t say his first word for a year after that. Now in kindergarten only been talking for a year and is soaring through his teacher said you would of never even known! It’ll be ok. He’s just a person. When he’s ready he’ll let you know. I promise & if he can understand you and answer you like my son did I’m sure he can talk. He’s just not ready yet.

6 Likes

Son didn’t talk until he was 2 and half and then one day he just started talking and he hasn’t stopped talking since. Every child develops at their own pace. If you have concerns talk to your pediatrician and they can point you in the right direction.

1 Like

I would potty train and use hand signals to use restroom. Also my daughter did not talk until after she was 3 years old. We went thru all the testing from Early On at the age of 3. She said absolutely nothing not even a sound, except cry or scream. I was doing the same as you are trying to get her to repeat words I say on things she wanted, objects we see , I also read to her pointing at every word. Doing alphabet letter flash cards and sounds. About 2 weeks after testing she started talking with complete sentences. She is 24 now and reads all the time, is a extremely fast reader . She is so smart. Early on decided she just felt no reason to talk because she we knew exactly what she wanted or her brain was not ready( forgot what the said exactly but this is a just of it.) She walked by herself at 8 months and potty trained around the same time. We were potty training our son who was 2 1/2. She ripped her diaper off and put on her brother’s blues clues underware and never went back to diapers after that. She made a fist with her hand and shook it if she had to use the restroom. We did have an occasional accident, but not many. All kids learn and do stuff differently. My son talked extremely early but did not walk until 15 months, he just rolled everywhere, trying to keep up with his cousins who lived with us. If it bothers you get your don tested and do the potty training. All kids are different

I’m literally in this exact same situation. So… following, lol

You’re fine hun, my daughter didn’t talk til she was four, literally. Go ahead a potty train. Take your time :slightly_smiling_face:
Sign language really helped us.

1 Like

early intervention is the key. my girl was 18 months and was not speaking but she was soooo smart in everything else I knew something wasn’t right. I went to 3 different doctors before someone listened to me. she was evaluated and needed speech therapy. she has been in speech therapy since she was 18 mo old. she was eventually diagnosed with mild apraxia and has fought like hell to get where she is at. she was been in special Ed in school for the last 2 years and now they just came to be before Xmas break to tell me they think she is doing so well she came go out of Special and just stay In her normal class. my dentist the other day said what he she 4 going on 24. I just had more of a conversation with her than I do some of my teenage clients that come jn here. she talks up a storm now. it was a lot of work frustration and patience but you are her only advocate and I had soooo many people friends and family tell me I was wrong for doing what I did by putting her in speech but my baby is gonna excel now!

2 Likes

my ped told me that kids have “two functions”… basically my almost 3 year old is EXTREMELY active, and doesn’t talk much either. she said you get speech and calm, or active and late speech. she wasn’t worried about his speech because he knows what he wants and knows a few words.

All kids develop differently. But you should look into having his hearing tested.

We thought that for our grandson who is almost 31/2 . He understood everything but did not reply much and we just kept reading and talking to him and in time he chose to speak little by little . I do not compare him to others because he understood us completely . The potty training has nothing to with talking . Just try with pullups and watch how long it takes him to go and go from there .When our grandson kept pulling his off we just put shorts on so he would forget to quit pulling them off . It helps with potty training . We had his hearing done and we knew it was not that because he understood us . He is super smart but super hyper and he has potty trained better once he had the concept and switched over to underwear and bought a bunch of them and as soon as he would feel the wet he would tell us he had to go until he would start telling us he had to go before he wet the underwear. It’s just patience and praise. He will make mistakes while he’s potty training . Sometimes you will feel like he’s reverting but like I said just absolutely positive reaction around him even when he does mess up . I only try to pull up on him to sleep at night when you cut out the drink an hour and a half or two before he goes to sleep. As soon as he wakes up we make him go potty right away and change out of that dry pull up to underwear before breakfast.

If your son has that much understanding, he may just not want to talk!

As far as potty training! The earlier the better! Your kid does communicate with you in their own way. Maybe work on a sign that lets him say he has to go! Or just make a potty available to him in the home! :hugs:

1 Like

Start to toilet train now. There’s other ways of communicating with out talking. Try teaching basic sign language and include it in while your teaching him things as well as when you’re talking to him an telling him things make sure you tell him all the time what they are and what you’re doing.

I don’t think you need to be worried this early. Boys also statistically take longer sometimes. But nothing wrong with going over it with your pediatrician. Just try to be consistent and repetitive like you’ve been doing, sound out words, label things in his room (on his lamp put a sticky note that reads LAMP on it) use flash cards, read to him often, point to things in his everyday world and say what they are and spell it out.
Offer him an orange and ask him to use his words to ask for the orange or to say thank you etc

He will talk when he is ready my son was a late talker and did have some speech therapy when he started school, your son understands when you tell him to pick up toys and such so don’t worry try to potty train but he may not be ready just go slow and expect accidents, good luck

He will when he is ready. My son was the same way, than he hit 3 and he started talking. By 3.5 I can’t get him to stop. We did choose to eventually start speech therapy but I honestly feel like he picked it up more right before we started that so it more helped guide him to proper speech. (You know how kids give things nick names or don’t use correct grammar)

If he understands like you say he can be potty trained. Start with simple que words. Let him run without the diaper and teach him pee in potty. Hell get it.

my Mother said my youngest brother did not talk until he was 3 years old, because I anticipated his every need and he did not have to speak.

Teach him to communicate in other ways. He’s fine! Even if he’s just non verbal it’s ok. There’s so many ways to communicate you guys will figure it out.

1 Like

My now 11 year old potty trained himself at 2 years old and he didn’t talk. He literally said mama, Dada and byebye. My youngest boy just turned 2 in August. He speaks in full sentences. If you ask if he needs to potty he says “no thanks” “no potty”. Kids just do whatever tf they want. Your child will not be silent for ever. Just enjoy the peace while it lasts :see_no_evil:

I had the same issue. I reached out to Charles County infant and toddler program. It was the best thing I have ever did. Now I have a 3 year old who talk way too much.

He needs an evaluation.

Every kid meets developmental milestones at their own pace. Nothing wrong with mentioning it to the dr and also nothing wrong with starting to potty train if he shows interest! I would highly recommend working on some sign language with him as well as it can really help with the communication.

My oldest son had the same issue! Speech therapy works wonders!

My youngest didn’t really speak till she was almost 4. Now you cant get her to shut up. Lol.

Make a potty icon and put velcro on it. When he needs to go, teach him to show you the icon. You can do it with other things too. You can use an actual picture or find one online. Communication doesn’t always have to be verbal :woman_shrugging:t4:.

Quit fussing. Start potty training him - don’t listen to everyone, if he doesn’t want to wear a diaper get some pull-ups. A former neighbor’s youngest son (3 older brothers) didn’t talk either - if he wanted something he just pointed at it. They finally took him to a speech therapist - who took into his office (without his parents). When they came out, the therapist said he can talk just fine - but everyone waits on him. Don’t get or do anything for him unless he asks. He started talking. Maybe you need to make him ask for stuff - - -

1 Like

He’s perfectly fine! My daughter just turned 2 on December 5th. She has been using the potty for 5 months now and has a very limited vocabulary of 5 or 6 words. Just started making sentences.
She actually learned the word yes today.
We do naked Potty training
We allow our daughter to be naked at home and wears a diaper at night or when we go out.
Each child learns at their own pace don’t fret about your son unless you see some serious developmental delays.
You are doing an amazing job Mommy! Hugs!

I was so worried that no one but myself and close relatives would know what my sons was saying. I was fortunate enough to find a free sign language class locally, it helped to ease my worries a bit. But he is now 8 and has a hard time sounding out and reading words

Teach him ASL, Einstein didn’t speak until age 5

Get him checked he may b autistic that is what happened to a friend of mines kid he wouldn’t talk she took him to Dr they had him checked and he is autistic

1 Like

I’m dealing with something similar with my three year old. First step, talk to your pediatrician to get his speech evaluation and then get him into therapy. Early intervention is key. Also, you can absolutely potty train a non-verbal kiddo. I did and it was pretty easy. You can teach him sign language if you really need to, but if he’s physically and mentally able his speech should not be a barrier.

So I had this with my oldest daughter who just about to turn 6 she just didn’t want to talk we had speech people come in and alsorts she decided she wanted to talk when she turnt 4 she was fine with wverything else toilet training amd all of that it will come when tour Bubba wants to talk

Why wait on potty training till he verbally speaks? I’ve never heard of that.
With language all kids develop at their own time, granted at 2 years he should be further along but speak with his pediatrician just to be sure not medical issue.
Your doing a good job at saying what he points to, mimic talk development.
You can also do basic sign language (eat, thank you, please, more, all done, and few others)… Our youngest couldn’t speak verbally till 30 months.

1 Like

Talking will come…u can potty train without him talking… You just have to have him sit on the potty often

2 Likes

Have him evaluated for disabilities, get him into speech therapy & let him go at his own pace.

Try teaching him some sign language for potty and maybe other important things. Lots of kids are potty trained before talking. A lot of day cares teach it these days. He’s interested so go for it.

My grandma hated changing diapers. She noted when my dad went to the bathroom usually. At 6 months or so she started putting him on the toilet (or a child one) around those times. Before he talked he would just pull on her leg to let her know he had to go.

Sign Language it helps say the word and show the object/action while using the sign. And No it will not delay speech.

Mine was same too my daughter just turned 3 christmas nd she barely started saying wrds mama dada no yes wen she was 2 nd half I had to start speech therapy with her nd she’s saying more wrds ( speech therapy was started in august ) she turned 3 on dec 25 so only got 4 months nd shes talking more

My son wouldn’t say a word. I put him in speech therapy and all kinds stuff. He just wouldn’t talk like he did his own lil sign language. When he turned 4 yrs old it just clicked and he started talking full sentences. Everyone told me the same thing just wait he will and he did. He does have some speech issues that he is working with speech therapy on.

Went through the same thing with my kid, she’s 3 almost 4 now and talks fine. Didn’t have to do speech therapy or anything. Just ask the doctor about it next apointment.

Definitely get him evaluated for speech through early intervention. Kids should be saying at least 50 words by his age. It can’t hurt to get him evaluated but it can hurt him if you don’t and he needs services. Also, pulling off a diaper could be due to sensory issues. Talk to your pediatrician about it but get him evaluated no matter what. I’ve seen numerous times when a child’s pediatrician tells the parents to wait to get the child evaluated and eventually they do and the child loses out on months of therapy. Hopefully he doesn’t need it but if he does then you did everything you could to help your child. Good luck!

2 Likes

Teach him sign language for potty, help, eat, drink, simple things or use picture cards

1 Like

From your explanation there are positive signs: he understands instructions, points to things and understands both ‘yes’ and ‘no’. But I would take him to a speech therapist or psychologist to check if everything is ok. You can potty train him now but I would wait a few months. Then take him to the toilet regularly and on a fixed schedule. Keep somehing next to the toilet that he likes, e.g. a favourite book.

1 Like

Look into glue ear also

Get him to a speech therapist but you can potty train him just show him what to do,like he’s ripping off the diaper he will go to the potty if the need arises

What does his Dr say? He could have some form of autism

1 Like

My son will be 3 in June and he has just started talking the last 6 weeks,
I took he to speech therapy
And it has helped him a lot,
I’m trying to potty train him now have been for the last couple of weeks
But he’s not ready,
All kids are different
Iv 3 boys and my first 2 were talking by 2yrs and both were day time potty trained by 2 1/2.

2 of my kids started talking late and were potty trained before learning proper speech. Who told you not to potty train?

I would try to get him to say a few words, like “drink or hungry, bye bye” etc, other than that work on fine motor skills, it has a lot to do with their speech. When they are playing with a truck, just say “truck” several times, they will pick up on it.

Have you had his hearing tested?

2 Likes

Yes get him evaluated for some speech do sign for basic things he is only 2 so it will be hard to find out about a disability because he is still very young. And work on the potty training you can still do that even though he is not talking use the sign for bathroom .

Maybe he is tongue tied or lip tied?

It could be absolutely nothing. The fact that he understand is a good sign. I have a few kids in my family who literally just refused to talk​:joy::joy::joy: give him a little more time. If not talk with his doctor and they will help you come up with some options. And that no potty training crap is bull start now

My son is the same. He will be 3 in April and still doesn’t speak. He uses a lot of sign and actions for what he wants. He has now started speech therapy. It worth getting your health visitor involved to help sort it. They are also assessing for autism. He does use potty sometimes on his own but if we aren’t in the house I would have same issue he wouldn’t speak to tell me he wants to go so very difficult to potty train. I hope everything works out for you both x

Mine was the same way. Turned out he was just being lazy because we were talking for him. Had to change the way we did things. We had to start making sure he asked before we got him what he wanted on most things.

Potty training hasnothing to do with speech. He will signal he needs to go
Many children don’t start talking properly till they’re 3 . Personally I wouldnt worry till then. Just keep talking / singing etc

2 Likes

From a mom whos son didnt speak till 5… if your child understands what you are saying. Then you can absolutely potty train. Speech helps with talking. Not just saying words but learning to engage and ask for needs and wants. Get eval asap and do it. Many kids go to speech and don’t have any other issues.

I would say this is not normal & you should talk with his doctor about speech therapy. There are many free programs, you would hate for him to be behind in preschool and elementary school. I would not just let it go. A quick call to his doctor can help more then you can imagine. By 2, they should have a 40-50 word vocabulary

My son didn’t talk till he was 5 he was fully toilet trained by age 2 , he just woke up one day and spoke ignore what they say he can toilet train and he will talk when he is ready , have patience

1 Like

Get him around other kids it will help him learn… i did that with mine and they progressed pretty fast

Little boys tend to be later at learning to speak than girls…he is young yet stop stressing…as you said he understands things… and my baby was held over a potty from 3months old …seldom had dirty diapers …only wet ones…once he was toddling then trained him for weeing… good luck …enjoy your lttle lad …

Your honestly better to have him evaluated by a peaditrician or by speech and language. My brother for example didn’t speak until he was around 8 but fine in every other way and also understood and now you wouldn’t know, but my youngest who is coming up for 5 is non verbal, but he also doesn’t understand or communicate to well at all. But he has gdd and asd. So it really could be nothing since everything else is good with him. Maybe he just needs more time with his speech. Boys are known for being a little slower than girls in that sense, same with toilet training to I believe. My other 2 are nearly 8 and 7 (boy and girl) and my son was 5 before he was out nappies at night and 3 in the day. My daughter was completely out by 2.

1 Like

I have 3 children the first a girl didn’t like having wet pants and was completely potty trained at 18 months and was only saying a few words 2nd child was stubborn and was trained at 3 and a half but the 3rd a son was potty trained before he would speak the older 2 10 and 9 years older was getting what he wanted when he pointed after we told them to say what he wanted and then make him say it before giving it to him he started talking

This is a circumstance where months of age really come into play. If he’s 24 mos I wouldn’t worry too much. But if he’s 30mos I would be. 2yrs is usually when speech develops the most. Talk to his Dr & ask for a speech & vision exam. My daughter was speech delayed. I put it off because my ex gaslighted me. At 4 I got her eyes examined & learned she was almost blind. You’d think you could notice it but she didn’t act vision impaired. If I said pick that up. She did. But then there were other time it could be right in front of her & she wouldn’t pick it. I figured it was being a kid. Kids learn speech by watching your mouth move. If he can’t see the very minor changes in your mouth as you speak it’ll be difficult to learn. Once my daughter got glasses her speech took off.

1 Like

There could be many reasons why, ask for him to be evaluated. If he’s ready to be potty trained, then potty train him. He might just go on his own. You don’t have to talk to use the bathroom

1 Like

Mine was potty trained (pretty much self taught, smug little sod) long before he could talk. Didn’t talk at all until year 1. Turns out he didn’t feel the need to talk, he let his sister do it for him. When he does though, he doesn’t stop.

I have a 4 year old he’s was same way at 2 we had him evaluated and found autism wich is why he’s got a speech delay. And potty delay but he’s doing tons better with the pottying he tells me " peepee momma" or " boo boo " mine won’t ware clothes at home either lucky if he don’t take his pull up off but the diapers he’d get off so I told him he kept on I was going to tape them on he stopped.

go online if needed and teach him basic signs for potty, drink, hungry etc. My almost 4 yr old grand is a very late talker and this really helped her communicate with us her basic needs.

Might want to check with his pediatrician about something called Aphasia

We’re potty training a 2 year old, who isn’t a fantastic speaker yet, but has greatly improved since starting speech therapy. He wouldn’t verbally say he needed to go, but there are visual signs that we’ve learned. Look up speech therapy near you and also signs to look for when potty training a non verbal child. You’ve got this mama!!

1 Like

We did signs. My son didn’t speak until after he started kindergarten. And even then it was selective. We communicated all he needed until then by signing. If you can understand eachother in some way you can absolutely potty train or do anything else people say you can’t until they speak. You got this :sparkling_heart:

My daughter didn’t start talking until 4/4.5

And as far as potty training whoever said that doesn’t know what there talking about my daughter was fully potty trained way before she started talking

Awww. Your son sounds lovely! Don’t worry yourself crazy! Luckily comprehension is there. Continue to speak to him , lots of directions, singing, language all around. He’ll talk when he’s ready. He’s smart and taking it all in right now. Don’t force it. Feel free to get an evaluation, He’ll probably qualify for services, early intervention. my guess is He’ll age out by 3​:wink: and potty train! You have that window of opportunity now! Good luck momma! :heart:

He will talk when he is ready. My granddaughter didn’t start talking until she was 3 and now can;t get her to be quiet. If he isn;t talking within a year or by age 4 time to be concerned. Try having him around other kids or try daycare or a play group part time.

You should talk to his pediatrician. There could be many reasons why he isn’t speaking. My son was two and he would just whine and scream for what he wanted, we had all the test done and thankfully he just needed a push, well we both did, he had a brother just 17 months younger and J was so overwhelmed I just did whatever he needed so he wouldn’t scream so he didn’t have to talk. Babies can’t wait came in and taught us both! I hope it’s just something simple but talk to his dr! Good luck!!

Early intervention -have him evaluated may need speech therapy or other services don’t wait

I’m having a similar issue.
My son is 2 years and 4 months. Also hates wearing a diaper and changing him is always a dramatic performance. He actually speaks well enough, but I could ask him mid poop, if he needs to poop and he says no lol. We are working on it. Just have to be patient. If you feel there’s an issue with him verbally, see a doctor to be safe. Early intervention is important. Friends of mine had the same issue with their youngest, turns out he was mostly deaf.

Each child is different and its no race…no competition…he will talk when he is ready…have you spoken to your health visitor about your concerns?

1 Like

My oldest didn’t start talking much until he went to preschool amd was around kids his own age. He is 9 amd doesn’t shut up and tests gifted. Don’t stress it too much. In think the doctors put too mych stress on us to where our children should be but I had a lot of people ask me in public if my kids talked much at that age and theirs was in the same situation.

I’m going through this with my 2 year old daughter she does speach therapy… she doesn’t even say mum or dad there are a couple of words she does say but you’ll hardly hear her say them. She has 4 older brothers as well.
She is in the middle of toilet training we’re getting there :slightly_smiling_face:
She understands me and all instructions she’s not a screamer or doesn’t make much sound for attention if she wants a drink she will hand me a empty cup with no sound :woman_facepalming: I have 3 boys in speech so Iv learnt a lot of the years on how to help but she’s not wanting to.

My son was that way. He didn’t start talking until his sister did. She’s two years younger than him. He has ADHD. My advice would be to learn some sign language. he’s obviously intelligent enough to understand what your saying. He will grasp the concept of sign well. I did it with my son and it helped and allowed him to communicate with me.

You do what you know. Your baby isn’t average. He has his own little personality. I have a step grandson that’s like that… He rarely talks but he knows how. He chooses not to talk. Most grow out of it. Your a good mom. Just do what you do. It’ll be ok.

several questions, who told you that you can’t potty train him until he speaks,??? Start potty training, either it will work, or it won’t. But start anyway. Sounds like he is ready. Second, what did his ped Dr say? I have a friend that’s son didn’t starting really talking until he was almost 4 & what comes out of his mouth is very smart, He stood next to me one evening & started telling me all about the stars & what each group was, His mother said she never taught him that & he doesn’t watch TV, maybe one or 2 cartoons, that they pick a day. She does read kid stories to both of her kids. Today at 13 yrs old he is one very intelligent young man. And in very advance classes at school

3 Likes

Same here mama don’t worry everyone is different :heavy_heart_exclamation:

You need to enroll him in speech and OT services. I would take him to the doctor and they can help you. If not start therapy and they will get you all the services he needs. You can also hire a case manager to help you make all the appointments and find services in your area.

Have you had his hearing check ?