How to leave a relationship?

I’ve been with my boyfriend for 5 years now , we have a 3 year old daughter together , he treats us very well but i am just simply not happy with him … he shows me no affection what so ever , never compliments me , we dont enjoy the same things etc… i talked about this to him before and nothing changed. Its been over 2 years I’ve been wanting to leave but cant build up the courage to do so because i feel so bad for my daughter. I dont want to end on bad terms but i know this will upset him and his family very badly.

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How to leave a relationship?

First, his family is a nonfactor. They aren’t in the relationship, you are. If you’re unhappy and you have means to support yourself and your daughter, then you’re good. His feelings only matter to a certain extent, because of the coparenting situation. I know it’s scary to leave and start over by yourself. When I left my ex husband, I was terrified, but I ended up back with my high school sweetheart, and we are so happy. Eight years and two kids later. You’ve got this. Don’t ever tell yourself you can’t do it, because you can, even if it’s hard to start with.

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Staying for your kids only fks em up more. If your not happy leave your showing your child to settle

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If ur not happy with him than most likely he’s not happy either. You both deserve better n once u stop settling for less than u deserve God will bless u w ur heart’s desire. A child doesn’t make a family. Love does . I hope u woman up n get on ur own n find ur happiness. N I hope he finds his. As for the family to say they don’t matter is not true. They do but only as far as the child. Don’t punish them for what y’all are going through. Good luck n God bless

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I’d try counseling first, or at least bring it up. I’ve been a single mom and it’s hard. If there’s any way to save your marriage, I’d at least try. The grass isn’t always greener :blue_heart:

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The grass is not greener!

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it’s worse off for your daughter if you stay. two separate happy parents is better and healthier than two together unhappy parents. your happiness matters, and it has absolutely nothing to do with his family.

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It’s better for the daughter to be in two different households then to be in one household where there’s tension

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Is this the relationship you want your daughter to have? Think of that it’ll give you what you need real fast to rip that band-aid off.

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Never stay for the child’s sake. You think they can’t tell, but they do believe me. I spent 10 years of my life, 6 of those unhappy; unsatisfied. It wasn’t worth it cause you grow resentful after a while and it’s no fair to your partner, child and most important yourself.

How do you know it would upset him badly? If he’s made no effort to change chances are he doesn’t want to. He probably isn’t happy himself. This isn’t teaching your daughter how a relationship should be. If you can’t leave (meaning you won’t) then maybe you both should go to counseling and go from there.

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*Look up the 5 love languages and identity/discuss them with your partner

Would counseling be an option? Or if you don’t want the relationship at all, try to leave on friendly terms. You still have to have contact to co-parent your daughter.

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I was in a relationship for 16 years it don’t get no better I’ve talked to him and talked to him again and no changes I left best thing I’ve ever done for my kids and me .

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Your gonna end up leaving sooner or later!! Do It now while she’s small.

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leaving him, won’t change that he has a daughter nor his parents life with their grandchild, But staying with him, is only showing your daughter that women need to stay with a man no matter what, Is that what you really want for her???

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If you’ve already spoke to him and told him how you felt and nothing has changed. Then he simply doesn’t care… but I can promise ya, he will regret and care when your gone.

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Trust your intuition.
I’ve lived that life almost 20 years.
You need to be with someone who actually wants to be your partner.
You do not wanna be like me, the woulda, shoulda, coulda, type.
You think you feel badly now for your child? Add on another 15 years of longing and loneliness.
Leave. Go find happiness and fulfillment before it’s too late. Xo

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Try therapy, first.

I think you will regret it.

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You have to be happy. If you’re not happy, something needs to change.

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U have to do whats best for u. Ur daughter will be fine. As long as she has 2 loving parents that’s all that matters.

You need to communicate with your partner. You need to tell him exactly how you feel. He isn’t a mind reader. If he doesn’t know how you’re feeling, how is he suppose to help fix it.

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Do what’s best for you and your daughter and don’t stay for her because if you do and she sees mommy not happy that will negatively impact her

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Your daughter deserves a happy mother and your not so leave. It doesn’t matter if you upset his family
It’s not about them. It’s about YOU and your happiness
Your daughter is young and will learn to adapt quicker than you think. She’s young so do it now x

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You try to stay in a relationship for your daughter that will end up hurting her n the long run. If your not happy your daughter picks up on that and the relationship problems

Talk to him again, your living in a poor relationship. Leaving might be your only solution.

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Try counseling 1st. Go alone if he won’t go with you. Then you will have worked out whether staying or going is the best choice.

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So say goodbye tell him why & since he’s a good dad share visitations

Try to convince him to do couples therapy. If he refuses pack ur bags & stay elsewhere for a few days sometimes it takes a drastic action to convince people to change

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Hun, I’ve lived like this for 54 years!

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Never stay in a relationship just because of kids. It ends up hurting them . If you aren’t happy then leave because that will also affect the child. If you can leave on good terms and have a good friendship with the father that’s the best outcome for the everyone not just the child. Some people just work better not together. As far as leaving tell him exactly. You aren’t happy, you feel stuck you need to leave and learn to grow as a person but will be there for him because of your daughter especially if you can get along properly . make sure you have what you both need to leave tho…

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Just tell him how you feel again and say nothing has changed. I don’t want to stay in a relationship where things don’t change when there is an issue. Explain to his parents that you need to feel loved and you do not. Maybe he will change to keep you, or maybe you both will work something out.

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Just leave your wasting both your guys time :roll_eyes:

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The best thing for your child is for you to leave now if that’s what your heart desires. As a child who grew up in a home with 2 parents who were there because they felt obliged, I would have preferred them to separate from the beginning. It is so toxic to raise a child in a loveless home.
I know the guilt and concern that you’re feeling. It’s going to be hard and uncomfortable while you work through it. But if you want out, the sooner the better, for your little one.

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You are not responsible for him. Leave.

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He may apply to the courts for custody of his daughter

l get paid over $ 195 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $ 18964 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.
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Why do you think you have to enjoy the same things? You’re still allowed to have friends.

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The best things for your child is individual therapy for you and couples therapy it sounds to me like you’re relying on him for to much and might be dealing with PPD

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Walk away with your daughter

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No point telling him to be someone he isn’t … find your happiness and both be happy with the child in different places

Talk it through with him, and come to an agreement. Don’t just leave. You need to co parent well together.

Try therapy first… actually try first

You should of given your self more time. He surely had this personality before having your daughter. You had different needs then your receiving. It sounds like you both need to both change. Your one person but you can make the difference.

Learn how to love each other correctly. I don’t think this situation calls for leaving. You guys need to work it out. It’s just the beginning and you guys have a LONG ways to go and if you don’t learn how to now, how in thee hell are either one of you going to be able to guide your child in the future if they get married, wrestle with the same issues and stumble across some difficult times? Emotions can make things much worse than they are or difficult if you just don’t want to be with someone and in that case, try not to point fingers or blame or look outward but try looking inward and what you can do as a wife AND mother. This is not trial and error. This is a marriage, a family, and there are going to be ALOT of times when the going gets tough however, how you guys get through these things is what’s going to make you strong, keep your family together and it’s going to be a beautiful life!
Keep striving and thriving! Don’t be quick to throw it away and I’m not saying you are throwing it away, but this is usually the sign of the beginning to an end of marriage. No one is perfect. You have to talk and keep communicating but not all about your feelings or how one’s makes you feel, but more like your responsibilities together, etc. bc everything is going to require to two of you and you must work together through everything! Keep everyone out of your marriage and your business and keep it between you, your husband and Jesus. That’s all you need.