You cant im sorry he would be there for his children if he wanted to be x
Do you realize what you asking? You asking to make straight the tree that growing sideways. Itâs impossible
You canât make any one be a father.
He has to want to be a dad
You donât. He either does or doesnât
My ex husband wants to pay child support so he doesnât have to spend time with them. Told him I didnât want a dime if he would some time with them. I was abandoned as a child and have had issues every since and never wanted my babies to go through that. They will call and beg him to come see them or just to call them back. They have an amazing step dad and an amazing relationship with him but it still doesnât fill that void.
Why do you want someone like that in your life grooming your kids to treat you horribly? Itâs a frigging gift that he doesnât want anything to do with them.
Let the courts handlehim. Sounds like hes doing u a favor. Hes the one missing out hon. Sounds like u may oughtto count ur blessings that he isnt in those babys lives. Just cause someone made a baby, doesnt mean they shld be in that childs life.sometimes the children are better off not knowing dad, especially when dad is mentally abusing mom. Ur babies dont nd to hear daddy cutting u down, so consider it a blessing hes not soending any time with them rt now. Sounds like daddy needs to grow up and realize what a precous gift uve given him with those 2 babies. Good luck hon,wish i had some better advice for u.
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Sign up for food stamps, wic, housing in your state. Get your ; year old and ELC voucher (differs by state) which should lower the price of daycare. She should be in VPK by now if Iâm not mistaken so itâs significantly lower and itâs based off of income you just have to find a school that accepts the voucher. Look for at home work. Idk if you live with someone but if you have a computer or internet some jobs will even send you equipment. You can work. You just have to find a way that works for you.
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Yes he should do his part, but you canât force someone to be a parent. You need to take it through the court and they can split daycare expenses and deal with the child support. You canât depend on him so honestly youâll need to find a way to work. If you take it to court, theyâre going to need to see youâre doing the right and best thing too. I know itâs hard. Trust me, my ex husband completely stopped being a dad when I filed for divorce. Havenât seen or heard from him in over a year. Iâm sorry youâre going through this.
Thereâs nothing you can do to make him a dad unfortunately. One day heâll learn. Heâll learn the hard way. Regrets and remorse are always in the end.
Move on without him. Someday if your kids want to connect with him they will. Iâve been there.
Hopefully your child support has been setup through the state you are in. If not, take your order to them and have it go through there. There are programs like headscarf and help with paying child care while your working or in school.
He can get as mad as he wants, its his fault the court had to assign child support, I donât know why some people (man or woman) think they shouldnât have to support the kids they helpped to create.
Mine paid his cs but didnât have much interest in seeing his kids, still doesnât, but they are now adults and understand better.
Good luck.
Oh and if you can get all the information you can about his job and income.
So you left him because of his negative habits. Why do you want your son to be back around it? Your sending mixed messages. See if your state has child care partnerships which help pay for daycare. There are resources out there that will help you but you have to find them good luck!
Thereâs nothing you can do. I begged my childâs father to help/be active for 5 years. I finally decided enough was enough. Please take my advice and donât do that to yourself. Anyone who doesnât want to be a part of their life, support them, and help them grow doesnât deserve it anyway 
youâve got this momma 
You canât do anything to make someone give a crap. You just have to decide whether to let your kids be subjected to a minute dad or a full time dad. If heâs not in the picture and doesnât want to be, time to terminate his rights so the kids donât have to deal with a dad that doesnât care. Iâve been there, keep your chin up and be mom & dad to those beautiful babies
you canât make him come around or change him. I did that for years although he was paying child support every month my ex husband didnât want to come around our 2 sons . He wanted me to have full custody and everything, I chased him thinking it wasnât right that he doesnât want to see his son and wants to go out and play. stupid me I was . Unfortunately, he passed December before New Years after we saw him on Christmas and December 27th . he took his own life. These last couple years we were on good terms no chasing. Even if he were still alive the custody agreement would not have changed . He wanted the boys with me 24/7 .
Heâll NEVER STEP UP, you canât force it. Do whatâs best for you & the kids.
Maybe do childcare in your home?
I would just go to court. You said heâs quite abusive, and you didnât want him around your son⌠I would go for full custody and drop the loser
You donât. Thatâs not your job.
Nothing you can do all the court can do is make him pay child support.