How to move past cheating in a relationship?

Why would you even take him back in the first place? Have some self respect and be a good, strong role model for you daughter. Leave him!!

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You should have walked away before now! You either have to forgive and move forward or walk…

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You cant trust him or his family. Been with someone like that and all I have to say is leave.

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Did i understand
he got another woman pregnant? Is he helping to support that other child? Move on. You’re being used and abused…

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Why you stuck around again?

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You have every right to still be upset, you trusted him during the time he cheated he hasn’t even be faithful for the amount of time he cheated yet. He needs to understand that he broke your trust & want to make up for it & help you be able to trust him & be willing to do all the things that, that includes whatever it may be that will help you be more secure. If not & he is unwilling to do that you will never be able to fully trust him & without trust love is nothing. You could seek counseling possibly, but I doubt it would be worth the money. I have been through this & stayed I never built up my trust and rightfully so.

I’d walk away. He did it once he will do it again. You and your child deserve better than that. Coming from the heart not trying to be mean, but you’ll drive yourself crazy if it’s always in the back of your mind💜 start fresh with someone new or just do you for a little while!!

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For your own sanity I would walk away having trust issues will drain you soo soo bad I was with my ex for a very very long time and at some points I could trust him but then some I couldn’t and I didn’t realize until after I divorced him that I felt like a prisoner that whole time cause when I did finally leave him I felt so free so happy like I didn’t have a care in the world since then I’ve found someone else that I fully trust and it’s so much better mentally and physically but your the only one that can make that decision for yourself good luck

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I’d leave his stupid ass. Be smart woman

Walk away. If the trust is gone there is no way to get it back. Two years is not a one night stand or something you could consider getting over. Two years of lying, cheating and hurt is too long to forgive and forget.

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He’s not being loyal now, I can guarantee that. Walk away!

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You should of walked away a long time ago. Get your self esteem together and realise you do not need a man, for the child’s sake if anything. Not only is he disrespectful to you but son is his family from what you wrote.
Move on

I wouldn’t have taken him back the fact he cheated and hit the other woman then runs back to you

Your not dumb. Your perfectly normal. And no its not bad that you still havent moved past it. It takes time… And lots of it. It takes him working everyday to show it and prove it. It take a team of love and effort. If you want to leave then leave. You need to take care of you too. And if your not happy and need to move on then do it for you.

I have been through somthing simular… And i put up with alot of the cheating to a point. But i could never put with him having a baby with another woman. We all go through our limits… And if your at your limit then leave hun. Do whats best for you. I can say i shouldnt have put up with as much as i did. And i should have left a while ago… Its hard when you have kids with them and want to for give them… But some things you just cant get over. :heart::heart::heart::heart:

You’re dating a narcissist…run the other way from him as fast as you can. You can’t change him and why should you. Know your worth, which is priceless. Why are you giving this douche bag another moment of your time?? Love yourself enough to know when you’re getting treated like shit on the cool.

Did you say he hit her? If he will hit her he will hit you. Not to mention all the lies and manipulation. Run for your life girl! He sounds like a terrible person and I don’t feel he is being loyal now because he is still manipulating you and making you feel like you’re doing something wrong by not trusting him. Get out

Apparently my ex cheated on me 6 out of the 7 years we were together. We have 3 kids together, and he was abusive. He is now with that girl and we both caught him cheating and she caught him trying to cheat with my now husbands ex wife. Weird I know. Mostly sick. But i should have ran the first time and never looked back. You need to do whats best for you and get out! Dont let it get worse.

Spend all of the time you’re wasting on trying to make a relationship work with him on repairing your self esteem because a woman with a healthy self esteem wouldn’t have put up with this mess

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If he can have another girlfriend and child without you knowing he will cheat on you again. The saying once a cheater always a cheater is so true. If he really cared about you he woukd not have cheated

You’re not wrong. You can love from a distance. You don’t have to be together!

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He has no right to put stipulations on your feelings. He sounds like a narcissist. I would leave him and not look back.

Once a cheat always a cheat

Please walk away. And i also hope the other woman walks away too.

If he is sorry and you can forgive then forgive if not leave and move on.

Once a cheater, always a cheater. Leave!

One word ‘doormat’ that’s all I can think of for a word with this situation you let your man cheat on you get another woman pregnant and your still with him?! :joy::woman_facepalming:t2:

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Walk away…this good period will end eventually…from a mom/wife who dealt with this kind of crap for 8 years.

That’s actually hilarious. So not only did he destroy all your trust, disrespect and lie to you repeatedly but now he thinks you should get over it and fast. Awww wouldn’t that be nice for HIM. Wow. Some guys are mind blowing. :roll_eyes: let Mr wonderful know that he’s lucky you love him or you would have run from his cheating ass already, then let him know to grow the hell up and do the work it takes to earn forgiveness. And being faithful for 9 months doesn’t cut it. :roll_eyes::joy: How about actually making effort to earn trust. Which includes continued transparency, clearly following boundaries around all other women as a sign of respect to his women. I think you are absolutely right for wanting to walk away, because let’s face it, this is not a man that is going to stay faithful to you forever. And that’s what you deserve. Otherwise you will torture yourself with wondering and worrying. Life is too short… be with a man whose actions MATCH his words…

I would leave. I left my SO due to the same exact situation. I’m so much better off without him. Even when mine was “faithful” to us, he was still slipping another girl in and cheating.

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Hell no walk away toxic relationships never work

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He’s got a lot of nerve trying to make u feel bad for his cheating! Leave! You’ll never trust him! And u don’t want your child to have that as a “male role model”… He sounds super narscasistic and if he hit that Other lady he’ll hit u too!

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He sounds like he’s a piece of shit. He’s calling you immature yet look at his behavior. Ditch him and find someone who will genuinely love and cherish you and your family. He sounds like a pissy little bitch who doesn’t know what he wants and probably never will

Bless you for trying. Absolutely not it’s hard to rebuild when things reach that level of broken trust. And you are just being honest with yourself.

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Walk and Walk fast…
.
.

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Not you are not once a cheater always a cheater trust will never be the same. So I would say you are wasting your time with this boy I say boy because a Real Man would never hurt you like that

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I know youre probably thinking, it’s so easy for someone outside the situation to say to leave. But it’s good advice. You will lose yourself and miss out on so many things waiting for the other shoe to drop. And from the sound of it, it will. But we do not know the entire situation. Your feelings need to be validated and understood. Men are wired different. They tend to get over things much quicker than women do. We analyze, they fix. He feels like he’s fixed it. It’s up to you to explain to him why you’re still pulling away. That kind of pain may never go away. And he needs to own it and each time it comes up he needs to apologize again and reassure you that he knows it was a mistake and it will never happen again. That is his burden to bear as long as he is with you. ONLY YOU can decide if you want to move passed it or not. Not him, not your family, not fb friends, just you. If you want to stay and learn to trust him again, do it. With time, your questions and insecurities will subside and you’ll move on from it. If he’s not prepared to do what it takes to build your trust in him back up, then it’s not worth your effort and anguish.

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Never would’ve gotten back with him in the first place, once a cheat always a cheat.

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I would definitely have a ton of questions as to why he wants to be faithful now

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No your not wrong. Sometimes they hurt you to much and to bad. And you get fed up,there’s absolutely nothing wrong with it. The fact is you have feelings wants and needs,sometimes when your heart breaks there’s no mending it and again there’s absolutely nothing with it. Hes playing the I’m a good boy game until he gets tired of the same routine. Itll never be easy to walk away for the man that helped you create the most important thing to you ever but he did it once and hell do it again.

How sure are you that he’s actually being loyal now. Maybe he just got better at hiding it… rather leave so you can be happy and not worry all the time about where he is and who he’s with.

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I would’ve told him to kick rocks a long while ago :joy::woman_shrugging:t3::woman_shrugging:t3:

Coming from a similar situation… PLEASE walk away and do not turn back and do not feel bad about it
My ex always had a way of convincing me I’d be lonely forever without him
But I can tell you single loneliness is better than loneliness in a relationship always wondering where he is or what/who he’s doing :unamused:
It will be super hard but I promise it will be worth when you look back. Best of wishes for you and your daughter!
Live and be happy for the two of you! :sparkling_heart:

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If you chose to stay for another 9 months knowing what he did then yes I do, if you could put it aside for that long and learn to love and move past it what is the problem now!?

Forget the cheating bastard. He will never change.

I have been there just my ex never got anybody else pregnant but I tried so hard to forgive and forget but I couldn’t he cheated on my all the time. When my son was 2 and his dad walked out and my son screaming and crying for his dad and I know for a fact he heard him but didn’t seem to care on how bad it hurt him I said enough was enough and I couldn’t trust him anyway everytime he was on his phone I was trying to read over his shoulder when he was on his laptop I checked his history. I was so tied up into trying to make sure he wasn’t cheating that I forgot the most important part and that was my son. I’d just leave trust me I know its hard but you have to do what’s right for not only you but for your child as well.

I’ve been thru something similar if you’d like to talk you can message me

If u stay with him, the curiosity will kill u & it doesn’t take much for your mind to go into overdrive. You’ll start questioning (that’s if u haven’t already) every time he says he’ll be working late or he takes a call & goes outside or he says he’s going out with his mates. Cheaters always find away to blame the innocent person. Easier said than done, but for your own sanity & mental health get out of the toxicity. Good luck darl.

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Go with your instincts… so many people dont listen to their own reasoning. You deserve better. Your child deserves better… I dont always agree with once a cheater always a cheater, but until someone honestly wants to change they wont… it’s not easy to walk away but sometimes that is exactly what you need to do… you have to do what’s best for you your heart your sanity and for your child or children… if you truly dont want to leave, seek counseling. Family counseling for couples… good luck

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I don t know how u can tolerate him…he s so fucked up in his head…PLEASE LISTEN TO WHAT YOUR HEARTS TELLS U…there is your answer…don t have him walk in your house without supervision because i am concern not just u but your kid safety and mental being…i have been there and put up with his bullshit and manipulation. When u have kids they are your reality and he will use them against u…pls seek help for yourself…He will never changed…bastard…

He’s still cheating he got better at hiding it and convincing you he’s not cheating

I think its messed up that he brought another women around his family while you two were together. I give you alot of credit for at least trying to make it work for your daughter. You don’t want your daughter to grow up and thinking that’s the role model to look up to and you also dont want her to grow up thinking that’s the kind of relationship she needs to have

walk away now before it happens again…who knows if he really smartened up or not. what he did was unforgivable and disrespectful :frowning:

Everyone is not strong enough to leave. Some people stay bc of the children but at the end of the day how can yuh try and smile and make someone else happy if yurh not happy? Yuh deserve so much more than him and honestly yurh children do also.

Not wrong at all, some relationship can work when infidelity plays a factor some cant, you need to tell him those are your feelings and he should respect that, me personally I wouldnt stand for it but you have to do you and what’s best for your family, ask him…what would he do if you were the one that cheated, he would be gone right? Do what’s best for you and I’ll be praying for you

You’re not insecure, immature or resentful. If you are any of these things it’s him that’s at fault, not you. Any thoughts of insecurity are the cause and effect of his infidelity. I would suggest couples counseling if you want to stay together because it does seem like you’re having unresolved issues because of his infidelity. Trust is a very easy thing to break but much harder to restore if it can be restored. But no, any way you feel about him or towards him is his fault and by his infidelity he started a chain reaction of events that is up to him to put in the majority of the work to fix. Good luck.

If you have to constantly question your relationship, that’s not love. It’s a waste of time, time you could be investing in that really matters.

My ex-husband did the same thing!

I wouldn’t walk, I’d run.

Run as fast as you can. He dont care about you or your kids

Dont let anyone tell you that your feelings are wrong. It’s appropriate to feel resentful of what he put you and your family through. It’s ok to not just forgive and forget. He needs to realize that after 9 months it just doesnt go away, itll take a lifetime of him making up for what hes done and getting back together means itll always be on the mend.

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You’re not wrong at all for wanting to walk away. He should be extremely grateful you are with him. I think you deserve much better, a new start. No regrets, no looking back.

trust is not just given it is earned and 9 months is a tiny start to earning it back.

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You should of walk away than

Once a cheater always a cheater! I found that out the hard way! Yess every one makes mistakes but not when you have a family to think about!

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I wouldn’t have taken him back to begin with…

Walk Away girl ! Your not at all in the wrong for wanting to . What he done is unforgivable and disrespectful to you and your family . I would not stay with a man who has cheated on me like they say once a cheater always a cheater. You deserve to be in a secure relationship where you don’t have to worry about weather or not your partner is seeing other women or not ! It’s better for you and your kid (s) if you walk away they don’t need the stress no more then you do . Move on Hun and start over it may be hard at first but I promise you it will be worth it in the end when you realize how much happier you will be without that constant worry ! :sparkling_heart: Good luck sweets :kissing_heart: your a better woman then Iam I would have had him kicked out long ago the moment I found out he had cheated and had another woman having his child !!!

Run away! People who hurt you don’t have the right to tell you when to be healed of the trauma they caused. While you should forgive for your own sake that doesn’t mean you have to allow those people in your life. He sounds very manipulative. The fact that you have come to Facebook for something so blatantly in your face makes me think you don’t trust your own judgement and intuition which are signs you may be dealing with a narcissist.

I would leave. He betrayed your trust for two years. And now he is being inconsiderate to your feelings. You can’t just get over something like that. And so what if you’re being insecure. If he could so easily cheat on you for two years whose to say he won’t do it again.

I would run If he cheated he will do it again and again.

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You don’t ever ever put up with cheating once a cheater always a cheater you’re just going to have to get used to him cheating on you you’ve shown him whatever he does you’ll keep running back. Hun please yiu need to have some pride and walk away

Don’t walk away!!!

RUN!!!

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Run girl…cheat once he will do it again,if he already isn’t.mistake is one time…two years…run fast and far

I wouldn’t have given him another chance to begin with. That being said, trust takes a long time to get back but if you stayed with him then you need to leave the past in the past. You can’t throw the past in hos face every chance you get and you have to forgive him. If you can’t forgive him and leave the past alone then it’ll never work. He could still be cheating or maybe he’s not. Since you don’t trust him I’d just end it or you’ll drive yourself crazy thinking he’s always lying.

i wouldnt even have stayed w him HELLL NO. being cheated on while pregnant is shitty

I’ve been in a similar situation. The thing is even tho now he’s being faithful, there’s still a chance he will stray again. That’s probably always going to be on your mind. So will his past. You will always think about it, dwell on it, and eventually it’ll either break you two up or drive you to depression. That’s what happened in my situation. Always questioning why I wasn’t good enough, what’s wrong with me. Sooooo many thoughts and questions. And honestly you will never fully trust again. All these suggestions and opinions but in the end the choice is fully up to you. Is this something you can move past and be fully happy in your life…or do you deserve better? I wish the best for you <3

No ur not wrong for feeling like that,it’s never going to be the same as before.n if I was u,I think u need to move on,why would u wanna give him a great woman,after he has been so greedy,n very disrespectful,to u he will cheat again,n if there is no trust,there is no relationship,ur always gonna keep ur eyes on him,n who wants to waste energy having to do this,get rid of him,get half of everything u r entitled to, n move on,life is to short,n ur worth much more,n there is someone out there that will show n give u the respect u deserve,move on get settled in a place,take care of u n ur kids for a while,then start looking again,or just be with u,less drama that way lol,but don’t stay with a man that dose this to you, because he can’t keep his dick in his pants,ur better then that :hugs:

Without trust u have nothing. Love will always be there but can u live with having to constantly question things? Can u handle it if/when he does it again? Will he use your lack of trust (over what he did) to do it again?

Absolutely not walking away is probably best

Get away from him he CHEATED ON YOU! If my child father cheated even once his ass would b to the damn curb. U need respect for yourself hun get rid of him! Love yourself n say goodbye to toxic ppl… b all u can b for your kids he is disrespecting not only u but your children cheating pisses me off so much

You need to walk away!

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Forget about him
Kick him to curb
Worry about kids
I went through same thing and divorced his ass
Now im alot happier
Kids are also

I would leave not just because the cheating but especially with the he hit her part because you dont want him doing that to you or your daughter.

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Girl don’t walk. Run. You deserve better and so does your kid.

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Walk away once a cheater always a cheater and run as fast as u can hes didnt love u if he cheated and got another woman pregnant

No your not wrong for how you feel…he took your trust and broke it…every relationship is based on trust…it’s the foundation …without it…No base and the relationship will crumble…

I would of said hell no left a long time ago

You’re not wrong at all. Personally I would’ve left him as soon as I found out about the other girl. Now she’s pregnant and apart of his life forever now. He could take her diapers one day and telling you he’s leaving you for her the next.
Personally I wouldn’t want my daughter to see me in a relationship like that. I wouldn’t want her to think it’s okay to be treated like that. To be humiliated by someone that’s suppose to love you unconditionally.

If your daughter was in this position and she asked for your advise what would you tell her?

It’s you’re choice ultimately, but in my eyes, if he willing cheated on you for two years, got another girl pregnant, and had everyone play you for a fool and cover up his lies. How do you know that won’t happen again or isn’t happening? I would leave.

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Sounds like my ex to a t. He would cheat with numerous females break up with me run to them then i allowed him back. He would be faithful for awhile and do it again. I did this for 14 years only got worse. So just go before you put yourself through the hell i did. It changes us females. Sure some can get beyond it. But most of us grow insecure, resentful and turn into someone were not. Always worrying with that nagging in the back of your mind. Good luck hun hope you figure it out way before i did

THROAT PUNCH him!!! & then leave

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Walk away already. Waste of time.

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Leave him! You deserve so much more than him! Don’t allow your baby to be subjected to that, you’ll be a happier momma without his cheating lying manipulative ass

You should of never taken him back. Run!

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Get away from that negativity.

You wasted your time sweetheart. Don’t just walk away from that fool but RUN!!

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People actually do change. The man you fell in love with is not the man you love now. We all go through tribulations and hard times, we all change with every year that passes. Could you say you’re the same person you were when he first fell in love with you? Here’s what gets me about this post though…he hit her, he calls you immature, he’s obviously NOT remorseful, so therefore hes not going to be understanding and kind towards you as long as he isn’t remorseful. He will NOT change if he isn’t remorseful. So with that being said, can you gather up the courage and leave, and do what is best for you and your child? Can you imagine NOT being with him? Can you imagine the pain it would bring your child if there is physical abuse in the home? Is THIS whats best for you mentally? As long as he is the way he is, mentally, you will never heal, so mentally, comes the fall of everything else. You need to heal your mind, and believe in love again because if hes a good dad, great. But what he did to you in those two years and he isn’t supportive of your pain, and reassuring you that you are who he wants to be with, then you know the answer hun. Best of wishes and prayers sent your way.
I only say all this because my husband cheated on me before we got married, not physically, but he went back to his ex wife and was talking to her for years before he finally stopped talking to her, BECAUSE he wasn’t remorseful. Til he saw me break down and leave, its when he knew he had to change, not only be a better man, but a better, loyal, supportive boyfriend that turned into a husband. Change is possible. And the quote, “Once a cheater, always a cheater” doesn’t apply to everyone. Its watching how determined the person is to change that part of themselves and GROW into the person he needs to be for that child and for you.

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He won’t change. Run.

He aint loyal sis… anytime a piece of ass comesby , he gunna hit that… eveey relationship should be based on trust.

If he’s not on the birth certificate just leave

Wtf why r u still there?!

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