How to parent teens?

i have a 16 year old teenager and she is real real rebellious my husband and i have bought a brand new double wide 5 bed room 3 bath any way she says we cannot kick her out at 17 and she cusses us my husband and i are 64 years old and i have custody of 4 grand kids she writes on her new bed room wall she is un controllable she goes and spends the night with her boy friend and comes over here to get dressed for school she is saying by law we cant kick her out she can stay here till she turns 18 and we are gona take careof her by law in other words she can take over our house hold and we cant do anything about it well i dont care what a cop says i am tempted to kick her out whats your oppinion and do we have to let her take over

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Get her signed up for youth at risk through the courts

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What state are you in? Call CPS, because if the cops dont have a problem with it, they might

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If she doesn’t respect your property call the cops and sent her to them

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She wouldn’t be living in my house and doing that.

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Call tbe police on her… They can nab her for destruction of personal property at least.

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Where do u live… like what state or province

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U can call your local police department to find out the laws for your state.but stop letting her take control.take her bedroom door off the hinges, take away all privacy,take her house key tell her if shes not home by 9 pm at night she dont come in until ur up the next day.she has control because u allow her to have control.

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Job corps!! My mom sent me to Clearfield Utah. Best choice She ever made! Taught me so much!!

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When she leaves to go to her boyfriends report her as a runaway and tell her she’s not longer aloud to go anywhere except school and home

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Send her ass to boot camp I believe you still can

If you kick her out underage dependin on your state you can get in trouble. Also you can’t just kick her out you have to legally evict her and give her a 30 day notice.

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I would be dead … My parents would have killed me… My kid would pray cps came to get her before I put my hands on her…

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Maybe try to understand why she is acting the way she is and lashing out?

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Speak to her without judgment

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Its your child there is a reason she acts that way…its your fault and you cant just send her away or kick her out when your tired of her. Stand up to her and put her in her place and dont let her leave. Shes a child looking for some disciple and order.

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Tell her as long as she’s under your roof, she lives by your rules. Stop letting her take control. I know it may seem harsh to some, but call the cops on her. It may be the wake up call that she needs. If you don’t take control soon, you’re probably going to be adding a grandchild to the list of ones you’re already taking care of.

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Whoop her ass. I’m sorry but if I did that growing up my dad would have beat my ass.

As horrible as it sounds kick her ass out. Then she will see how good she’s got it at home. Kids these days are so ungreatful.

My mom had to turn my sister over to the state and put her in foster care. She was on drugs and had completely gone rebellious against my entire family. It broke my moms heart but she always told us that she had to worry about her small children that needed her most (we were about 8 and 9 at the time and she was 16). Ended up being the best thing she ever did for my sister because they put her in a group home for troubled children and got her life together.

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Look into an outdoor program maybe? Like outback behavioral

Have you tried taking her out for a drink (Costa or whatever) and talk to her. She’s reacting to something.she obviously not happy. I’m not condoning the behaviour but it’s not on. Call social services for help with the behaviour if need be. Or tell her that’s the plan

Unless you have her turned over to foster care, she’s right, you are responsible for her until she is 18. Kicking her out before that could very well get you in trouble and risk the custody you have of your 4 grandchildren. You only have to give her the minimum though: food, shelter, clothing. Anything more than that? She can get a damn job & pay for it herself. If she has anything “extra” that you are paying for, I would rescind those luxuries until she adjusts her behavior (phone, car/insurance, computer, video game consoles, TV in her room, etc). Also, how old is the boyfriend? If he’s the same age, maybe you could talk to his parents and let them know your daughter is not allowed to be there. If he’s an adult, well call the cops :slight_smile:

Call cps take her butt there let them have her. My daughter did this to my grandson. Hes in a home for problemed youth now!

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Wow I’m shocked at responses. No responsibility for parenting here. Everyone saying kick her out. She’s your flesh and blood. You’re responsible for how she’s turned out. End of.

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Call the police on her when she damages your property.
Anything you bought her take away. Cute clothes gone! Tv in her room gone! Phone gone! Bedframe gone, put that matress on the floor. Makeup take it allll! Toiletries, swap out all her stuff for the dollar tree version.
Take her house key away she cant get in unless you allow her in so no showing up to get dressed in am. By law your child only needs to have a ( material items) a matress, restroom, accessible food and clothes that fit them.
Everything else is a privilege and given to her because you love her and want her to have nice things.
Those things are earned by respecting your parents.

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Check the laws in your state. Contact an attorney if need be. Bless your heart.

My momma never hit me a day in my life but guess what… I had the fear of God instilled in me anyways… I knew my momma could put me through a wall if she wanted to. Not cuz she ever threatened me but because my mom didnt take no shit. That girl needs the fear of God. Send her my way :wink: cuz I’ll be damned if my daughter ever tries that with me.js

Call the cops on her, sounds to me she needs a smack in the mouth… she needs to learn respect.

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Most states stand by the “law”, that she repeatedly seems to keep bringing up, that you are only required to provide her with a handful of outfits, a place to sleep, and food.

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She’s finding herself and unfortunately people lash out at the ones they’re closest to. She doesn’t even realize she’s burning her bridge. Those lessons take time. As far as what to do- maybe she needs counseling? Enroll her in some sort of program. Do something good for her yet something constructive. She sounds pissed off. She sounds like she’s lashing out because that’s her last option. I can’t say much more since IDK the whole dynamic or if something happened in her life to make her this way. Maybe she holds in a lot of anger that you don’t know about. She just sounds stressed and what she’s doing isn’t right but she’s young and dumb. Don’t give up on her

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So because things are a little tough with a teenager, you want to abandon your responsibilities as a parent instead of getting to the root of the problem? Do your child the favor and find someone who wants her around. Your age is of no concern because y’all decided to have a kid later in life :woman_shrugging:

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You can take her door off and everything out of her room. You only have to provide a bed blanket and pillow clothing. You can even pick out what clothes she can wear and there is nothing she can do about it. Take phone away and anything important to her. If she leaves and you did not tell her she can go report her as a runaway and it will teach her accountability.

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Call the cops for destruction of property. Let her spend a couple nights in jail. It might straighten her up

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Holy crap my parents would have beat my ass then tossed my sorry smart mouth behind out the front door with only the clothes on my back ,honery get you a lawyer and serve her with an eviction notice

Send her ass to bootcamp. I would not put up with that crap. Call the local PD & Find out laws, Call CPS & ask for help. But definitely dont let her control your home that way.

Youth at risk, juvey, she can get emancipated, boot camp, CPS. Where I live there is a program for troubled youth to go. It’s for kids ages 5-18 who’s parents cant handle their children. The children live at these facilities year round go to school their, they cant leave or have visitors and dont get to leave until they are socially equipped to live in society or turn 18. Its government funded and they are all over the United states and Australia. My boyfriends company builds the pads for the company that builds the buildings. You have options and resources if shes really that troublesome and uncontrollable.

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64 years old… if you can’t parent her why did you take in 4 more? Obv she’s reacting to something.

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Find it hard to believe she just magically turned 17 and was out of control :unamused: Respect is taught from an early age.

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What :flushed::flushed: things are so different their to here.!! Thats crazy, if she wants to act like an adult treat her like one an let her stand on her own two feet, u shouldn’t have to deal with attitude like that at your ages.

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By law you cant kick her out but she can move out the laws are stupid and you halft to feed her untill she is 22 sounds to me like she needs a good ass whooping like qe got as kids .

Some of the comments on here are ridiculous. It’s no where near your fault for her actions. I know a lot of teenagers her age that act that way who just have no respect for their family whatsoever. I know if I ever did anything like that, my mother would bust my ass and give me a reality check and it sounds like that’s what she needs. It also sounds like you’ve tried but she doesn’t listen. Maybe when she’s gone take some of her things that she values and hide them. Change the locks. If she can’t obey your rules, she can stay else where. If she has a phone, take it/shut it off or stop paying for it. If she thinks her life is so terrible and she feels the need to treat you both that way, give her a life that she feels she has and maybe it will change her. Sorry mama!! I hope things get better for you.

Kicking your daughter out or calling the cops on her will resent hatred towards you and your husband that could last for a really long time. Maybe trying to build something a little more with her will help. The more you shove “you cant do this. You can’t do that” down her throat, the more she is going to do it & probably more. Start to make compromises with her, making HER meet YOU. Shes writing over walls, maybe let her redecorate her room? She’s always off at her boyfriends, maybe have her invite her boyfriend over for dinner? Try to reconnect with her in some way.

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You can put her in boot camp… It works

First off, grow a backbone. She is acting like this because somewhere down the road you have ALLOWED her to. Tough love and take responsibility for the role you played as well.

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Put her in a program and send her away for a bit.

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First. Call cps or the cops on her when shes acting an ass. Tell them you just can’t handle her anymore.
Second. You can stop the boyfriend issue by reporting her as a run away when she goes over there, and if you want to and they are having sex underage remind her that you and the state can press charges against him. If she cares about him at all she will knock the shit off.
3rd. Put alarms on her windows, doors, etc.

Also, if she’s out past curfew the cops can also handle that.
I was the rebellious teen-ager and it wasn’t until my parents cracked down on me that I changed my act.
Oh also you can have her committed. They will keep her a few weeks to a month or so and get her in counseling and on medicine.

You can’t kick her put but you can give her up for adoption or send her to military school :joy:

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Sign her up for a weekend at the jail house

Well she is under age. And weather she likes it or not, your house your rules…she is living under your roof and cannot do what she pleases. Your home is not a hotel, to when ever she wants to go home, if she does not want to follow rules then tell her to find a job. (Been in her place and got a lesson working with my grandparents)

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Kick that bitch out. Disrespectful cunt

She would not be staying out and laying up with her boyfriend yeah you can stay and you are not an adult till 18 so with that being said its my way or the highway period. And if she thinks she can carry on put her ass in teens corrections faulty till the age of 18 you are the parent take control. I raised 3 girls and 1 boy never had no trouble with them. My 16 year old daughter lives at home goes to school and does not date, she has a handful of decent friends and if she is out somewhere and drugs or alcohol is involved she calls me to get her. And she is a beautiful girl but as a parent and single one at that I’ve had rules growing up.

Do you have any friends who do it tough day by day just trying to get by? Talk to them, explain the situation and try doing the worlds strictest parent swap. It would have to be a very good friend who will not put up with crap. Take her to homeless shelters, food banks, soup kitchens to show how the other half live. Youve raised this child with an extreme sense of entitlement. Now you need to show her something different. If she will not go to these places kick her out until she will. YOU ARE THE PARENT. My daughter is 16 and due to issues beyond anyones control she has this kind of attitude. It will be knocked out of her before I have to expect the world to deal with her as an adult. Not physically as I do not beat my children, but that attitude had to go and it was up to us as parents to fix it. So we are.

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Dr. Phill maybe… Hah oofta that sucks. I would take all of her things that aren’t needed away.

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Destruction of property- have her arrested, leave her in jail

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Stop cooking and cleaning and washing her clothes and let her see what it’s like to be an adult and dont let her go out. You are the parent put your foot down and tell her your house your rules and dont let her get away with that mess my mom and dad would have whipped my butt. And I am 33 live on my own and I know my momma will still slap me if I need it.

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I wouldn’t let her stay call the police and take her to juvenile hall then maybe she will change her tune my dad did it to me best thing he ever did . That long drive to the juvenile hall was very unpleasant

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Send her off…talk to the boyfriends parents let them know she isn’t allowed to stay with him and you will press charges on them if it continues

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Try a boarding school. I highly recommend Teen Challenge! Its a Christian based boarding school for adolescents or adults in need of help. (Rebellion, depression, drug issues, etc).I went when I was 15. I was the doing all the things your daughter is doing. & it saved my life 100%. I now have a beautiful life and amazing relationship with my parents. Completely turned my life around.)

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Send her to a Group home for a couple months. They have some for Runaway teens but atleast they will be in a house with24/7 adult supervision,food, takes them to school etc.
it’s not as scary as it sounds but even a month away An help a lot

Send her away . No privileges , take her house keys . The law states you are to house feed and clothes with the BARE necessities to survive . She needs no phone she needs no cash . Start recording her acting out and you can take her to court to be emancipated and removed from your house . Remove her bedroom door take everything except her bed , no law about it sitting on the floor . Anything extra or considered a privilege remove . The nights she leaves without your say so to spend with her boyfriend have her picked up by police and stay the night there .

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By law you have to provide a roof over her head and food and clothing. The law doesn’t say where you have to get those clothes. Get them.from good will, bread and bologna, take door off hinges, just a blanket on floor…absolutely NO luxuries. Just provide the bare minimums required by law.

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I have gone thru all of that with my son also. Unfortunately the police can’t really do anything unless she’s a harm to herself or someone else. Then they will baker act her for 48 hours. As far as damage to the house they won’t do anything about that. And if they do enough to get arrested they will finger print them and return them back to you in an hour. Juvenile system is wack. Took my son getting 3 felonies. The judge put him in a boys ranch for 9 months. He just came home on Wednesday. I really feel for you.

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Dont kick her out. Do worse. She thinks its funny that you cant kick her out. That’s cause you have control and are her boss. So call a probation officer to deal with her they will straighten her out lol

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So it’s either toss her out or let her do these things? The fact that you can’t think of anything else is very telling.

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Call her in as a runaway

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Call the cops, have her put in juvie

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You can’t kick her out. I’d file an unruly petition with Juvenile Court. You’re likely to end up losing custody of your grandkids if you don’t do something to help get her under control. No 16 yo should be spending the night with their boyfriend!!

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If she stays there it’s your rules. If she wont follow rules she can get out.

She needs a good ole butt whooping and for all of her things to be taken away.

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You need to take control and be a parent. She’s 16 and you’re 64, ground her and get her help. She’s the way she is because you never laid down any rules to begin with.

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At 16 she is a runaway if she leaves without permission. U can’t legally kick her out but you can legally make her stay.

Call her in as a runaway.

I left home at 15 almost 16

Do you or your husband own a belt? If so, use it on her ass.

Legally you can’t kick her out. You can be charged with neglect but I would report her as a runaway if she stays out all night again they’ll put her into foster care.

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Well you aren’t required to do anything but provide her meals and shelter and even then you could kick her out. But you can strip her room completely empty all but a bed and give her 3 meals a day. Dont let her go to her boyfriend house anymore and if she sneaks out call the police. Get in contact with the boyfriends parents to let them know it needs to stop

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I believe you can call social services and have her put in a juvenile detention facility if she is destructive

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Uh. Take control of the situation…put her on lockdown…take her things…and my 16 year old wouldnt be staying at her boyfriends…nope.

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Give her the bare minimum
All you legally have to is provide food and shelter… shelter does not include a bed, TV, phone, nothing… take her clothes… leave her 5 outfits. Dont cook for her… she can feed herself. Dont buy food she likes… PBandJ all week with water. Turn the WiFi off… shampoos soaps etc aren’t necessities either… she can figure it our herself since she wants to be grown… if she needs a ride somewhere, nope. Needs money for school lunch, nope- take that pbj sandwich… dont give her anything. She will learn.

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So have you tried counseling maybe she needs help she’s afraid to ask n next is she pregnant they can be this way to have u looked at other aspects beside try g to throw her out my son is 13 he’s autistic n he has outrages and it’s berry difficult to handle but I didn’t just throw him out he is a child like the one in your house find a way to reach them get her help go talk to counceling

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Tou can make go to court an set her up to juve. Sign yer over to the state

Thought you were talking about my daughter! Same crap

Dont kick her that solves nothing make UR house a jail!! Nothing in room but a bed no sheets no pillow no phones no TV one roll of tp she would have to earn every single privilege back

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You legally cant kick her out. My advice take everything out of her room besides her bed and a change of clothes and do not give them back til her behavior changes. It will be a rough road. But if shes being like this you need to step up your game and make it to where she sees you are the boss. My parents did it to my little brother it will not hurt her.

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Sounds like the CHILD needs help

Contact cps and have them come get her.

She is too young to be sleeping over a boys house next you will have another grand child to raise tell her boyfriends parents she is under age and send her home at night don’t let her boss you it’s your house and she is the child make her listen or you will never have peace of mind kids do to you what you let them

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By law you’re required to keep her alive… Anything else is a bonus. My kids don’t get shit unless I get what I want from them behaviour wise.

Sound like you need to admit to yourself she’s almost a adult.

She’s gotta figure it out.

No you shouldn’t kick her out

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Yes you can kick her out of your home she needs to go live at the home for children who don’t know how to treat your elders I would Mott put up with her shot send her to jail then she see how long she last there

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No, call the law. Explain it to the officer. Show him any proof you have and tell him to take her to Juvenile detention center.

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Call the police on her and have her charged as being incorrigible. Let the state deal with her since you obviously can’t.

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Send her to boot camp for a while

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Maybe get her some help? Try a councillor? Stop trying to jump to foster care and jail.

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Press charges on that boy for having sex with a minor , buy her butt a can of paint and make her paint the walls . Tell her to straighten her act up or you will turn her in for elder abuse and destruction of property . On her 18 th birthday hand her her suitcase and tell her don’t let the door hit you in the butt . Take it from a momma who knows , she will thank you for it later . Mom , Dad go out and treat yourselves to something nice , you deserve it .

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You can go to court and file her as encourageable. Thet xan put her in a program.

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you can send her to boot camp she’s not 18 so she has no choice but to go

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Idk about other places, my dad was able to put us in a bootcamp at 16/17. And then locked away for a week. I came back a new child. No you don’t have to let her run shit…take everything away. The door, the bed, everything especially the phone, you probably pay for. Take it all. When she wants to leave to go stay the night elsewhere, call her ass in as a runaway. My dad had me called in and brought back home for the same shit…The fact that people are blaming these grandparents, who did not give birth to that child, and took her in their home, out of the goodness of their heart is wrong!!

Call her in as out of control. Like two day jail time and probation but it’ll do away after she turns 18. Might straighten her up

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