How to politely decline going to people houses?

Even though it’s your mother, it’s not your responsibility to help her. You are the child. If things are that extreme, then you shouldnt be going over to people’s houses.

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Just be blunt and say it

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Tell them no but they are welcome to come visit you at your home

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Just be honest, like really honest, like this. “Thanks for the invite, but you are rude, your rules are ridiculous, we will just stay home and you can kiss my grits!!” You need to give as much attitude as people give so they will quit being bossy, demanding and just downright rude!!

Without even needing any backstory…. “No thanks, I cant make it.”

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It’s natural human instinct and reflex to protect yourself. If your mom is 300 lbs And she falls your natural instincts will take over like muscle memory to protect yourself and it’s not your fault. Maybe see if she’s be down to stay home or see if someone will chill with her while you go. Or just say y’all aren’t feeling well. Lol nobody will ask questions

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First and foremost I’d surly take the fall before I let my mother, second I’d just say “ no thanks but you can come visit us!”

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This post is super confusing. Who is “they” because the way this reads is that your mom is disabled, you bring her with you and then you don’t want to take her to the bathroom when you visit other people’s homes. If you are her caregiver (like the post makes it seem), it kinda is your job to make sure she gets to the bathroom.

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Just tell them no it’s that simple and who cares if their feelings get hurt.

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Just say “thanks for the invite but it’s easier for you to come here” or something of that nature

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Just tell them thank you for the invite but it’s easier if they came to your house instead

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Just flat out tell sorry I am unable to visit and be my mother’s physical assistant but you can visit us

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Thank you for the invite but I’m going to stay home my mom has everything she needs to be safe and can help herself at our house.

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This is messed up. Can your mother toilet herself? Then she doesn’t need you there. These people sound completely unreasonable. I wouldn’t go for that reason alone

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Wow! I’m trying to process what I just read. While they’re completely rude with the rules you shouldn’t have to be concerned of telling them no!
I would just tell them, to protect your mother and her feelings including her privacy you’d rather them visit you?
If my mother was treated that way I’d not even want to at my home. So sorry that anyone would have to be told this! People suck!

Just tell them. It’s easier for them to come to you as it is physically straining for you to do things in a non handicapped home.

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Just so say no, I feel mom is safer here. You are welcome to come here.

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Sorry I can’t I have other plans.

I would tell them no. And I wouldn’t even eant them in my house. It would be a no all around.

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I would NOT allow you to visit. By your statement alone. Your mother deserves and needs help obviously. I would never FEEL BURDENED BY MAKING SURE MY MOTHER WAS SAFE. You obviously have your own goals and life and don’t really care for her health. MAYBE, try a nursing home for her, or a Live in care giver. If I was around. You would definitely have a visit headed your way from APS…

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Oh my girl. Politely decline and say you have your own medical conditions and you’re not physically able to. Apologize and maybe give some advice on how to help in the future do they have a home care worker? She might qualify maybe bring that up. It won’t cost them anything unless they go private I’d seriously consider looking into it. Putting that on a guest isn’t very appropriate but some people don’t really understand.

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This post is incoherent.

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You need to be honest. As a supporter the first thing we were taught was to never try to stop someone from falling but to be aware of ourselves

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Thanks for the invite…but I think it will be best that We stay home…but you are always free to visit us…

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You are an adult, no reason needed. Politely decline the invite

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Honestly I’d get her a walker so she can balance herself while she’s getting up, you can be there to help but she shouldn’t fall on you. As for the invitation just tell them you’d prefer going out with them or something.

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So what if she falls & you try to save her & you both are hurt that’s better than what?? ? I would make no apologies, but politely decline.

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Thank you for the offer but I am going to have to pass. Maybe another time. Or be straight forward and state your uncomfortable with the conditions of your visit.

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Sounds like you have an issue being there for your mother. You sound really put out by it. I would give anything to have my mother back even if I had to be her caregiver. You should be thankful you still have your mother. With that being said, it sounds like maybe these people should visit your mother instead in her own home if she has a disability. Might be a lot easier :thinking:

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Just tell them no for your specific reasons no need to beat around the bush it’s not a comfortable situation for anyone involved. That’s it.

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Uhh …”I don’t want to come over with those rules”

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If u can’t help your mother to the bathroom, exactly how do u get her in & out of a car to go somewhere. I’m surprised u get invited & expect others to be uncomfortable bc u take your mother & then act like u won’t even give her the help she apparently needs. One day she will be gone.

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Help look into other solutions like receiving help from people who are trained and have the tools or handicapped bars? I hated seeing my mom struggle. As painful as it was to watch and as much as I wanted to only be concerned with myself at the time- I still wanted her to have the help she needed. HELP HER.

Have them come see you

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You were ordered? Excuse me, but you’re not in the military and you’re grown (I’m assuming). They’re not being polite about it so why should you? Just flat out say no. Don’t have to give a reason, but if you chose to do so, don’t feel bad about it. Just tell it like it is! You got this!:muscle:

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Don’t give excuses. You don’t owe them visits. Just say we can’t come and hopefully they will get the hint and stop inviting you.

Just flat out refuse to go.

It sucks, but if she is a fall risk I completely understand. If she falls and gets hurt in their home they are liable and she could sue them. They are simply trying to protect themselves.

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Just say thanks, but no thanks, due to her health, and because it is hard for mom and I. If you wanna visit…it’s easier for you to visit her. Then it’s up to them.

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Well… use your mom as an excuse. Seems like you already are anyway… Just tell them no and if they ask why (it’s none of their business, but if you’re not comfortable saying that…) tell them you’re not capable of caring for her while you’re over so you won’t be coming and if they want her to come then they can come get her and care for her while she’s there themselves.

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Just politely say thanks but no thanks!!

Oh my…if you get invited just simply and politely say, “Thank you so much for the invite but I’m afraid we won’t be able to make it.” No explanation needed. But if they should ask, it’s simply “not a good time.”

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Exactly like that. I’m not comfortable coming to your home because of the rules you impose.

Awkward. If their home has no purpose built accessible bathrooms that could take a wheelchair or walker easily, no grab rails then it’s not suitable for you mom. We mostly only attend hotels and motels that have accessible bathrooms and wider parking spaces for suitable wheelchair taxis, dad is 89.

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From what I read it sounds like they are concerned for you mother’s safety… And now days who can you trust people in your house will sue you for something they did so that part I don’t blame her. If you want to go out hire a caregiver for a couple of hours to take care of your mom while you get a break and enjoy me time

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Why are u taking your mother out without proper assistance if she’s a fall risk?? U don’t have the right tools to keep her safe - SAY NO

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Not trying to be rude or anything but if your mom is in that bad a shape and is a fall risk, then she needs to be cared for by someone who’s in healthcare and trained for that. Does she have a cane or a walker? And if it’s family then they should be more understanding. But I know how family can be…

Tell them no…and if they ask why just say you have to take care of your mom.:woman_shrugging:t2:

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Ignore them or say no isn’t hard really is it

You say exactly that. There’s no reason to sugar coat it. If your Mom is a fall risk and they are worried about the liability then they need to put on their adult pants and say something to her and try to help HER find a solution, not put you in the middle.

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Sorry I already have plans. Period. Don’t explain anymore

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It’s like when my dad wouldn’t let me take my bike as a kid to a aunts house because he didn’t have medical at the time. He was being safe. Just like they are just an exp of being safe. Specially a fall risk

Just say no. There is absolutely NO need to have to explain yourself.

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Respond with “Do you have adequate space and assistance devices to prevent her from falling in your home? She needs X, Y, Z to be safe and if you don’t have some of those (bring from your own home if possible) or all of them, we appreciate the invitation but we have to decline due to safety for both myself and my mother. Thank you :slightly_smiling_face:

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Quit ridiculous to put your Mom’s weight out like that :face_with_symbols_over_mouth:

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Just tell them the truth if there feelings get hurt oh well.

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Simply state i can’t come over bc of the rules you have in place.

I don’t blame the homeowner’s. Today’s society rarely takes responsibility for anything. People are quick to sue others. If your mom is over 300 pounds and has difficulty walking she’s a liability. Either leave your mom home or go with the rules of the homes you visit

I feel there’s a big chunk of the story missing; but to simply answer your question, when someone invites you over, “We’d love to but we have other plans. Thanks for the invite.” Or you can be honest. “We’d love to, but the rules/conditions you have set forth, make it hard for us, maybe another time.”

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Have them over and when moms gotta goes same rule apllys but to them see

Tell it like it is. Don’t sugarcoat it. Truth hurts but they’ll get over it.

Just say, no thank you. You do not need an excuse.

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You have other plans— done

Tell them if you stop her from falling and you get hurt in the process, you can still sue them for it, if that’s their concern lol Maybe tell them you’d rather just have them come to your house, or go to dinner somewhere or something.

Something like “hello, due to the difficulties we have while visiting different places; we, unfortunately, will not be able to attend.”