How to potty train a boy?

I would say, 1…see if he’s suddenly frightened, afraid to fall in…if so talk about it and use kiddie potty seat 2. if you haven’t already put a stool in front of potty to rest his feet on 3. It may be that he’s been holding it and now it’s harder to go…so increase fluids and maybe even sneak in some miralax to soften it up. Beyond that a Dr .vist give him time.


I used the old school method, everytime the child pees or poops in the pants i whip the behind. Be consistent with the whipping and within a week that nonsense will have stopped. A 4 yr old is too big to poop. Whip that behind and thank me later!

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Something happened a couple of months ago. Did you move? Did you leave him with someone strange, even for a few hours? Did you change his diet? Unfortunately, at this stage you might have to start the training all over again.


My son was 3. I had a gum ball machine in the bathroom. He put the money in turned the dial and got a gumball. Not only did the triple reward work, I had every kid in the neighborhood coming to the house because they heard you got gum when you went potty.


Is he on a potty chair or on the toilet? Someone might have scared him about the toilet. Either he slipped and got his butt wet or they teased him that he would fall in, possibly be flushed.


He will grow out of it but that doesn’t help your frame of mind in the short term… hang in there.
Imagine the fun you’ll have with it when he’s a teenager…
And, that will be sooner than you think…


It’s a control thing. He decides where to poop. Remind him that everyone goes to the potty. Then try giving him control over other things in his life. Like picking out what to wear. You offer 2 or 3 outfits for the day/occasion and let him pick which he wants.


My son was hard to potty train. When l worked my mom took care of him. When he pooped his pants. My mom wood stand him on a chair abd made him wash his underwear :roll_eyes:.He was potty trained in 2 weeks. He was 4

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It could be anything from being afraid of the feeling of pooping to the fear of the sound of the toilet flushing to of course traumatic expieriances or just changes my daughter was super easy to potty train and I never had to use pull ups at night but she never used public restrooms and still never had accidents she started using the potty right before she turned two and at 3 and a half all of a sudden she started peeing the bed and would go into hysterics at the thought or sight of a toilet come to find out they didn’t have a bathroom in her class and would not take to a bathroom and when she would have an accident the owner of the daycare would verbally abuse her and shame her repeatedly in front of teachers other children and parents and would leave her all day in soiled and poopy clothes and somebody at the center punched her in the face when I picked her up her lip and face was bruised and split only after I asked the teacher why they didn’t provide a bathroom in the class or at least access to one so yeah it could be just a phase or something severe happening it took me 6 months to get my kid comfortable to sit on a toilet again

  1. Kids are hard. They do some crazy stuff with little to no reason. You are doing everything right and you sound like A great mom. 2. For the not good news, potty training regression is often linked to a change in the kids life. (A new school, a new sibling, a home move, and yes it can be a sign of trauma.) Getting him to A pediatrician is the best thing to do. Also make sure you aren’t making him feel bad about his Accidents it will only make it worse. (I went through this with my daughter only to find out it was because she was scared to get poop on her hand when she wiped.)

I had problems with my son doing that also. He wouldn’t use the toilet to save his life but hated having poop in his underwear I got fed up one day m and every time he pooped in his pants id make him sit on it…might sound mean but it’s not and it worked. Hopefully you can find some answers.

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Put diapers on him again, tell him, “Let me know when you want to go back to using the potty again, sweetie” and relax. Remind yourself when he gets to college he’ll only poop his pants when he’s really drunk, and it will be fine.

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The toilet water may be giving him a splash. Put a bit of paper in the bowl. Just give him time he won’t go to college soiling himself. You are a good mom give yourself time too.

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Clear it with the doc. Make sure it’s not a tummy issue.
He may have a sensory issue. Or… he may be just too busy to go. Which… just CONSTANT reminders. Even then it can be tricky. Don’t get too down on yourself! My guy did this for a bit. Just keep asking! As long as it’s not a tummy issue.

My brother used to poop his underwear and my mom finally made him wash out his dirty underwear. He did not like that at all. He stopped messing in his underwear.


Glad you are taking him to a pediatrician because there could be something wrong. My son was started school at 5 and still did it. Very frustrating but don’t punish him. I was told that by a pediatrican and he explained to me his problem. We had to put him on a stool softener to correct the problem. Too hard to explain and not the place to do it. Good luck. :heart:

Don’t stress about it but I can guarantee he won’t be doing it when he’s 16.


I feel your pain. I know this sounds mean but we told my son if he pooped his pants he was going to have to change it…it worked. But that may not be the case in your situation. There are different reasons so I’m not sure what’s right for yours

When my son was small after every meal as he finished I would place him on his potty in front of the TV with his favorite cartoon on. Bam trained.

I would rule out constipation. Encopresis and constipation are often related.


If it hurts when he poops, could mean he’s not getting enough water and/or fiber in his diet. Cut back on milk and cheese, both can cause stools to become hard to pass.

My son did this shortly after his dad and I started getting a divorce… the doctor said that this was a common side affect of stress in boys. They actually space out the urge to poop because they are worried about something and then suddenly they have to go and can’t stop themselves. Eventually, when the divorce was finalized and a set routine was established he got back on track naturally!

All my boys had this problem I had to start from the beginning in potty training I think it’s just a boy thing I have five boys I can’t remember All what the doc told me it will be okay by age 5 1/2 if not potty trained all the way then worry about it

My son was younger but understood money… my mom started it (he was 3 in 1991) so a penny a poop- and she’d count them in the toilet and then put coins in his piggy bank. Lol. It worked. Up the value since its been 30 years. Lol

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This happened with my 6, now 7 year old . It was due to his father and I separating . I found him a children’s life coach (therapist) . Things are going great and pooping on him self has stopped .

I remember years ago when I had started potty training my daughter an older woman was telling me a story how about her son used to poop in his pants sometimes at school when he was about your son‘s age maybe about five and she figured it out after all the work she went through visiting the doctor etc that he just liked the feeling of holding his poop in because he was hyper focused on things at times which made him constipated which then eventually it would just sort of overwhelm him and he would poop his pants. Something to think about

Let him go to the bathroom with his dad evertime he go put his potty right next to his dad , most kids are potty trained at 3 year old. You might need to speak with your doctor,

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Something has triggered this thats what you need to find out what best of luck.

He wilk grow out of it…we’ve had many accidents but will not go back…time to start treating them like big boys

Have you asked him why all of a sudden he wants to poo his pants?
Did something change for him you don’t know about?


I remember being potty trained. I just really enjoyed the warmth I guess. I was like 4 :woozy_face:


Has anything big changed for him recently? My husband used to be in the Marine Corp. Every time he would leave, or come home he had issues. It would take a few months to get him on track.

It may be that he now has an autoimmune disease, specifically, Crohn’s Disease, from vaccinations. This would mean he can’t control when he has to go.

I took my four boys hunting, carried them on my back in a sling seat i made, took diapers etc then told them they had to go like big boys and no diapers. They all were potty broke so they could go hunting squirrel.

Are you busy? Stressed? Try to stop that. Take time and let it be. And don’t ever be angry. It won’t help. Be the center of the storm for him.

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I had a Mr. Hide-n-poop. We eventually just had to have two super gross weeks with him then it clicked but those two weeks shuwee they were :face_vomiting:

Are you dating anyone new? If so it may be a way for him to get your attention away from the new Dad went through that with a woman he dated her son started to poop his pants .

My son had similar problem. Did all the things you described and more. Took him to pediatrician and therapist. Found out at age 8 that he had a tethered spinal cord and as he grew the more the spinal cord was stretched and the less the messages of “I need to poop” got to his brain. We discovered this when a friend’s son had similar issues but with peeing. Both had surgery to correct it.

My daughter did the take away. It worked

Let him clean his self when he does it. Eventually they get fed up. Good luck

I told my son that his friends won’t play with him if he’s still in diapers (he’d just turned 3). It worked. At that point, he’d been choosing to go in his diapers instead of the toilet because he was being lazy. Bribes etc didn’t work. I feel your pain. You’re doing enough, you just need to find what incentive works for him.

How long did he use the potty before he stopped? Try to figure out if something traumatized him. If not, maybe use pull ups or diapers. Tell him it’s his choice. If he chooses to poop in his pants, he’s got to wear pull-ups. If he wants to wear undies, he has to choose to use the potty. One of my son’s was very uncomfortable on the toilet. It’s not a natural position to poop honestly. Do you have a potty he can squat over? Try taking to him & finding out why- just stubborn, hates the toilet, afraid to fall in. He may not even know consciously.

Does he have a step stool for the toilet? They have some that wrap around

I wonder if he was constipated at some stage and the pain scared him? Something has made him regress but it does happen, and it’s not always that deep, also he may be picking up a bit of anxiety even from you over it, I had a similar issue with one of mine years ago and the advice I was giving by my paediatrician at the time was not to stress, the child will poop in a loo by the time they are going to school!! it’s hard not to stress but eventually it did happen and it seemed to be a fear of losing part of themselves in the toilet when I asked her why she did it, when she did soil herself I would involve my child in the clean up and not make a big issue & eventually one day she just did it herself in the toilet, she would have been probably 4 at that stage, my other daughter in contrast was fully trained at about 2, just depends on the child

Have him checked by a Dr my son did this and found out years later he had been molested by a very good friendv

I put my son on toilet backwards so he could hold on to toilet seat. Worked great.

My son was 3 years when he stopped using the toilet for pooping only he is one of triplets I was observing him and found out that it hurts him straining and I also fined out that he had worms in his poop and he was just scared once we took care of the problem and explain to him he slowly started to use toilet again

I had to hose off my nephew’s butt a few times. That did the trick.

They all come around in their own time…
Don’t stress.

My son did the same thing until that age. It was really hard. We threw so many pairs of underwear in garbages in public places. He just grew out of it. I remember getting good and mad. His excuse was, I just don’t want to quit playing to go.
Maybe let him sit in it like a dirty diaper?

Some experts say to reward them when they use the potty. This will help discouraging him from going in his pants.

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Get a round disk that floats and make a game out of it to see if he can poop into the middle of it.

Have a potty in the room with him at all times.


Three days naked. Don’t provide pants for him to poop in and he will start using the toilet again.

Perhaps a bowel condition?? Crohns ibs caeliac etc

Definately try find out the root cause and speak to Paediatrics. Not the time for punishments either.

When you get his shitty ass clean bust his naked ass and let him know that’s what going to happen every time.

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Have you tried spanking?

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Let him know big boys go potty on the toilet. Maybe Let him know if he does this well you’ll reward him with something he likes

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Why is this on face book??

Bpoiendolo pko a poko en un bater pekeño k venden en los chinos k el s d cuenta d lok ace ai

Hopefully a doctor can give you some answers good luck

Boys :woman_facepalming: they do take longer than girls to train but yeah don’t stress he will sort himself out eventually

had same thing happen to a baby grdsn I was raising. turned out he had a bowel blockis

I told my son I couldn’t afford diapers anymore. He was 2 1/2. He went to the toilet with not one miss :heart:. We gave his bottle to Santa :wink:

At his age maybe constipated. Hurts to poop.

First of all please dnt think like that …you have a wonderful son and I bet your a wonderful mum so stop thinking them ways now for potty its must happen to other can you ask him why his doing in his pants maybe his feel under safe on the seat just keep telling it’s ok and his a big boy and must try to do it the toilet again maybe just once …and if he goes make a big deal out of it good luck

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Talk to doc first. Dr Spock’s baby book has good advice.

My son would sit on the potty with a pile of books. Mind you he loves book and he would sit there till he looked at all of them pooped then he was done.

We used chocolate as a reward for pooping in the potty.
Our main issue was he was fine peeing in his paw patrol potty but he didn’t like pooping in it so we had him start going in the big potty and when he pooped he had to let us see in order to get a chocolate(we also had to help him wipe so yeah) that seemed to work really well.

  1. Children learn in their own time.
  2. Behavior is communication.

Play “Sink the boat”. Toilet tissue “boat” in the toilet. Then he just points and shoots. :blush:

Put him back in diapers!

My daughter had a condition called encopresis. She was also afraid to poop in the toilet because it hurt. With the encopresis she would get so backed up that when she would finally go it would hurt her so much. We had to give her powdered laxative twice a day. We also found stress what a big thing. When we moved her away from the source of the stress she never had a problem again.

It might be worth talking to his doctor about IBS. One of my son’s has that problem and he is 10 now. It’s not that he forgotten his training but it’s just he isn’t making it to the bathroom in time

Have you tried telling him to go feed the fishies? Worked for my kiddos. Make it a game when you put him on the toilet and when he poops let him flush the toilet and wave goodbye to the poopies who are going to feed the fishies. :kissing_heart: We would even make up songs for this ritual. :joy:

I had a doctor tell me
I have never seen a man in a wedding wearing a diaper :grinning:

Did someone touch or hurt him when he poop ?

What happened to him ?

Check for any stressors…

See a pediatrician. Sexual abuse needs rules out.

Some little people are very bright !!
He certainly gets attention from you; as children always want attention.
Some children also don’t want to stop their play for not wanting it interrupted and he has yiu as back up.
My sister had the same problem
My nephew hated pooping
On the toilet.
When I read this an idea came
I’m a child care director and special education teacher
There’s a lot said for telling it as it is and your boy might respond well to the respect shown
I’ve found when explained why, children respond well and rise to the occasion
If you can
Try to tell him about the body’s natural cycles
Eating , getting power from food and then getting rid of what the body doesn’t want and need
You could show a picture of the body
And explain we all have to do it and then when he feels it he can help his body by going to his potty whenever he want.
That way there’s no emotional relationship weird stuff being cultivated
No strange ideas
Just the facts about his body
Sometimes children don’t understand everything, but factual frank explainatiin are the best seeds planted
But I have found that when we are honest, and give the child the opportunity to listen, to learn the truth
Inside they feel that respect given
And it naturally makes sense
The ideal is for us to be self actualised inside
For us to be the chooser
Not controlled or manipulated
And for positive behaviour support (PBS) give praise (Google as it’s a special Ed strategy )
Such as
“Well done, I’m sure you feel more comfortable now”
PBS works when we reward the behaviours we want to have grow and develop
We can’t reward with chocolate if the child doesn’t like chocolate
So let the child engage in discussions about what a little daily reward might be. Nothing expensive.
And as he is little make it at end of day each day
For waiting a week may be too long a wait
He needs verbal encouragement at the right time
And a little reward at end day
As he gets older you can extend to a reward 1 a week.
Don’t fuss over bedtime accidents
Start in small day time periods for rewards
And ask him to say, Even am reward and pm reward. Food is not the best reward but your positive reinforcement of praise is far more powerful ; it’s up to you
Also encourage him to ask you for help, he may choose not to, that’s fine
“Mum can you help me;”
make it easy for him to be successful
But I’m sure
Once you explain how and what his body is doing
He will probably want to be in charge
Children love being in charge
But try not to scold
Just clean it up quietly and reward when done on potty
Even trying to reach potty; reward
He will catch on really quickly I guarantee it.
But please have a calm gentle discussion about what the body is doing so he knows the facts
None of us really like poo; including your boy :grinning: And thevyoung are often quite pure
So matter of fact details of why we need to pop take a different lens to his situation
One he may be able to handle better
The facts in his head
And there are also lots of supporting picture books out there too to assist as another way to approach
He needs meaning and purpose to why he should invest his time in going to the toilet
Best of luck
Guaranteed it won’t go on forever :heartbeat:

Target practice with cheerios in thw toilet? Worked for me😊

They all seam to suddenly start using the pot every one is different

Let him go with out pants or pampers for 2 or 3 days they learn fast

Best thing ever my grandson River
is only 2 and is doing pretty good so far, he has to be reminded alot but he is trying. A friend of my daughter’s made this.

Who is taking care of him while your work?. Besides the potty training, has his behavior changed. When you take him to the sitter, does he looks scared? Check everything, make sure everything is ok.


It’s a psychological issue usually cause by an outside issue. There could be a million reasons why but I would look at what has recently changed around him as the trigger


I agree that it could be a control thing. I worked in the toddler room at day care and when children weren’t coming to the potty when asked you’d have to change your wording or offer a choice. Like would you like to pick up your toys first or go poop on the potty first.
Another reason tho could be that is he’s feeling constipated or having too hard of poops, you may need to give him some more Fibre rich food to soften those poops to show him its ok to go potty and that it doesn’t have to hurt. I’m glad you got an appointment for your little man cause doctors do know other solutions or may find an issue the child is having in their digestive tract.

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Do not pressure them! My first potty trained himself the day I went in to have his sister lol. My daughter I got her the potty training watch and it worked within 2 days. Also reward. Do not discipline for accidents at all!!! They will delay the process and scare them.
Also you can try Cheerios or fruit loops in the toilet and have them aim at it lol.

I potty trained my kids by taking off their diapers and clothes for a few days. There was no choice but to use the toilet. It worked for both my boys and my daughter. All the doors in the house were closed and locked but the bathroom door.

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Introduce a bathroom trained…upon wake up…put him in a ur toiletbowl…and give him a book or magazine , be with him , until he is ready to be alone, tell him ,call u if he’s done.

Mine regressed after we finally got him pooping in the toilet.
He was constipated and I convinced him to squeeze my hands and push on 3.
Well, no lie - he shot a huge sweet potato sized poo like a rocket, immediately jumped up crying it hurts and holding his butt.
Then it was back to the drawling board. He’s six and I just cleaned a turdel out of his jocks😶 he’s usually ok as long as I make him go every day after school, I forgot today.

sit them on toilet starting with 2seconds and say that’s cool if they manage to sit for 2 secs once a day for 3 days go to 4 seconds slowly move the sitting everytime they sit the important point is not to give any bad or good or eye contact while they are put In a shallow bath hand them a towel and give them new clean clothes it took us 3 months to have him sit up to 3minuets it took 3 mths but it did work needed a glass of wine and kiddy needed a hug

2 grandchildren went through this…it was a digestive issue with both and hurt terribly for them to poop for some reason not as much laying down. They were both given medication and after a few days never had another accident.

My friend’s son was pooping in his pants so he couldn’t go to pre school

It’s a phase, keep your cool, be persistent and it shall pass.

I bet it’s a fear issue at that age. Rewards won’t help until you find out his fear of a BM in a toilet.

Dipers lady stop freaking out he will grow out of it !! Its not mental. illnes

He knows what he should be doing. Maybe he is not ready