How to potty train a girl?

My 4, almost five-year-old daughter has stopped using the toilet and won’t tell me or anyone when she needs to do a wee. She used to always tell me when she needed the toilet and was using it fine on her own with accidents every now and then but has recently stopped going altogether and has started to pee her pants every time she needs to go. It happens 3 or 4 times a day, she will be just sitting on the lounge or standing in the kitchen or playing with her toys, and she just wee’s herself. I have told her and explained time and time and time again that you don’t wee in your pants, you wee on the toilet, and to tell me when she needs to go. When I ask her why she isn’t doing wee’s on the toilet anymore, she just looks at me with a confused look on her face as if she doesn’t know what she’s done. This is also happening at school, she is going through 3-4 pairs of pants a day at school, and none of the other kids have this problem. I’m so frustrated and don’t know what to do. I’m at my wits end and am so sick of repeating myself and getting nowhere and it’s really embarrassing.

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How to potty train a girl? - Mamas Uncut

Get her a potty watch. Every half hour or so set it so she has to go sit on the potty.

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Is there any possibility of abuse happening? I know it’s not something you want to consider but that is a sign of abuse…

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Nudity. Or at least no pants.

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She could have a UTI or bladder infection that can cause her to wee like that especially if this is recent.

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Try not to be embarrassed by it. Something is going wrong, whether it’s a medical issue or something else. She probably isn’t doing it on purpose.

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UTI or constipation. Take her to the doctor. I struggled with this with my oldest for years.

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Take her to a urologist. It is very common for girls to have bathroom issues like this and could be something completely out of her control. Just continue to have patience with her. Getting upset with her will not change the situation.

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I would have her checked for a bladder infection.

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Something is going on with her. Take her to the pediatrician

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Set a timer to go off every thirty minutes. When it goes off, have her go to the bathroom. Every two to three days, increase the time by ten minutes.

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Could have kidney infection take her to dr

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My daughter did this, she was constipated. It hurts them to poop, so they hold it bc when they sit on the toilet the poop Neil start to come and they don’t want it too. Try some miralax.

Definitely check to see if there’s anything medically wrong. Especially if it just started happening out of nowhere.

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It was summer time. My daughter was 1and half give or take. We set up the potty and just kept the diper off she would pee in the yard. Yes I said it lol. But it took her a week until she pooped on the floor and 3 days after that she used the potty and I was able to use the pull ups and by 2ish she was in undies most of the time without accidents. Every child and situation is different. Keep on trying different ideas. It will happen. Just don’t stress out or punish potty chair is fun

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Pull ups and take her to be checked for UTI.

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Definitely get her checked medically please, instead of just getting frustrated with her, if this isn’t an emotional issue she is going through it’s definitely a medical

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Pull ups for school and talk to her ped

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First step is to rule out any medical issues. UTI or yeast infection…or even constipation.
Second step is to try to figure out the “why”
With my oldest…he has severe adhd and high functioning asd.
He struggles with transition so he would ignore his body’s cues to go because he was busy playing. Then eventually he couldn’t hold it and would have an accident. When we realized what was happening…We would watch him for cues he needed to go and tell him to go. He’d walk in the bathroom and then walk out 🤦but not use the toilet.
So we started temporarily (less than 24 hours at a time) removing the thing he was refusing to step away from. This was approved by his doctor because we’d tried rewards and we’d tried reminders.
Then a year or so after that…his teacher at school was bullying him and he started having accidents again for that reason…it was subconsciously an excuse to go to the nurses office…and never happened at home.
Once we pulled him out of that school and got him away from the teacher it stopped.

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It’s normal for children trained earlier to regress. This doesn’t sound abnormal.

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Take to Dr. To check for UTI

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Rule out anything medical like a urinary tract infection, then look into the social factors: new routine? New school? Is there potential of something harmful that happened?

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My daughter did this. It turned out to be constipation. She didn’t know she had to go until it was to late. (She had a bowel movement daily so I never suspected it but apparently she never completely emptied so it just backed up)We are going on a year of treatment and she just finished her 1st week without diapers since her issues started.

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Take her to the doctor ASAP. Could be something wrong I wouldn’t wait around

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also bladder infection

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If your daughter was potty trained and all of a sudden isnt, something is wrong. Take her to her doctor.

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Not only is this a sign of infection but also sexual abuse. Get her to the doctor. Also can be a sign of diabetes.

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We bought what’s called a potty watch it made my daughter excited 2 run 2 the potty and go I’m not sure if they would allow it at school tho. We are starting school in Sept so I haven’t crossed that road yet.

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Before I’d read all the above horror stories. Just go to a GP with her and explain. They’ll probably start with chat, xray and pee in cup and blood work. Until then I wouldn’t worry about it. Uti is normal part of life constipation etc. Kids don’t know how to explain stuff all the time.

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I myself had this problem… and yes I mean me… I have Kidney Reflux which means I’m prone to kidney and urine infections… take her to your GP… don’t just accept a simple urine test… ask for a catscan of her sides… they’ll be able to find out more from that.

I have 4 children, 3 girls and 1 boy.

The other thing if not a medical side. It could be the toilet itself… my eldest daughter never used our toilet only her potty, until she was 6 we found out then she has Autism and has sensory issues… so I assumed the toilet itself was uncomfortable for her… she’s 11 now and nervous sitting on a toilet.

Autism is harder to tell in girls than boys, because girls can hide their sensory processing method better than boys… my son is 4 and he was diagnosed with autism last year.

I hope this helps :slight_smile:

Just remember though… try not to worry about it… yes it’s embarrassing, but tell your daughter everyone wets themselves once in a while but you gotta try and get to the toilet. Have a potty near by for back up incase she can’t make it to the toilet… always console her when she wets herself because the embarrassment can hinder her confidence later… my 11 year old occasionally wets herself, I tell her it’s okay just wash and changed in new clothes, then I’ll joke with her and tell her at least she can run for a bus, if I try that I’d leave a piss trail towards the bus stop :joy::joy:

This lady above me has it right…. :point_up_2:t4::point_up_2:t4::point_up_2:t4::point_up_2:t4::point_up_2:t4: I would not put myself through thinking about some of those comments being my kid. Explain it to the doctor & go from there.

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Stop using pull ups at the night, wake her up couple times a night to use bathroom and during day take her to the bathroom every hour even though she says she doesn’t have to pee

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Take lil one with you Everytime you go bath room and I have ney other girls are woman in house have them take her to , I did a sticker chart gave my lil one a sticker and let her out one on a board

Before bed I would try and limit the drinks and are just water are no drink at bed time and have them use the restroom before bed if lil one goes to sleep before you wake them up and put them on tolite , mom of two gjrks and onr on the way and have 7 nieces

Take her to her paediatrician

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I’d take her to the doctor, incase there is something more serious going on, rather then just not going, has anything traumatic/big change happened recently? That can sometimes be the reason.

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Its a stage most go through.

Doctors, something doesn’t sound right…

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I would get her tested for a UTI.

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Now we’re talking 1994 here, but when I was the same age, I went to school and they had automatic flush toilets which were new, loud, and terrifying to me. I went through the same thing all around. I was too embarrassed to tell anyone and too scared of all toilets (afraid of getting sucked down). My mom came to school for a parent/student thing and took me to the bathroom and that’s when she realized what was going on. School toilets scared me and she empathized so much with me and talked with my teacher and I used the staff bathroom for the rest of the year. Sounds crazy, but it completely regressed me from all training until it was figured out. Maybe something is scaring her. It’s hard for kids to verbalize what’s going on or to confront an embarrassing situation at that age. Best of luck!

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Could be a medical problem. I know juvenile diabetes can cause this.

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Make sure no one is touching her inappropriately. Big/common/sad/harsh thing to say but it happens way more than it should.

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She might have a UTI… take her to the pediatrician

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Did someone tell her she could get flushed if she fell in??

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All undies all the time. Plan to stay home for a week n have plenty if undies on hand. Put plastic painters drop cloths all over. Except her bed of course. That gets a mattress protector. When she does pp on the toilet she can pick a prize from the basket ($1 store basket with $1 store toys) and when she does poop on the potty she gets to pick a “Big reward.” This could be a few things from a store like Walmart or Khols. Whatever. A kids umbrella, a nice puzzle etc. This takes about 1 week. CONSISTENCY. Encourage her to drink fluids so she pees…hopefully after a day or 2 she realizes. Oh I feel the need to go to the potty. Be as 100% patient. Good luck mom. You got this. I went as far as putting masking take on the sides of the plastic to the carpet to avoid tripping. On my couches I used wee wee pads like for hospital beds and a twin sheet over that.
One of the Super Nannys put out a book. This is her method. Worked perfect for me.

And no fluids 2 hours before bed. No diapers pull-ups any more. Have her bag them up for a baby.

Could be uti my granddaughter gets them alot and she has this issue with peeing her paints and she is 6

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Does she go to an adult and tell them she’s messed herself or does she not say anything at all. As in, if no one says or does anything, does she stay in her wet clothes?
You said she looks at you confused when you ask why she’s not going to the toilet, I’m wondering if she’s not realized she’s wet herself or doesn’t realize it’s a bad thing.

Recent as in months, days, weeks? Days, ok, could be UTI. Weeks and months, if it were a UTI, apart from seeing blood on the lighter coloured clothes, the infection would have made her physically ill (fever, etc) and you would have noticed.

But a doctor’s visit is a good way to start. If they don’t find an underlying physical condition, the next step should be a psychiatric eval.

My daughter did that. Just keep her in pullups or whatever…she will outgrow it…the doctors battered her with useless test and waking her up at night only tired her out for the day…believe me, be patient and bare with her and it will pass without leaving permanent scars…

Did something happen that pulled attention away from her? Let het know that it’s time to be a big girl. Or give rewards at the end of the week for dry pants. She should understand this process. Explain that if she wees her pants, the week starts over. After each day. Have her mark a calendar. It’s exciting for the littles to be involved.

Needs more oneon one attention

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Maybe see her doctor??, Maybe a medical issue?

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My son started doing this after I had my daughter. He would just pee so much. I started by taking him to the doctor and talking about what was going on. She checked his urine for any signs of infections and I had her test his blood sugar to make sure he didn’t have diabetes and after that came back normal. she said to just sit him on the potty every hour or two and to not make a fuss when he pees on himself just say pee pee goes on the potty and have him help clean up the mess. Then when he does pee on the potty make a huge scene and tell him how proud I was of him. It took a month and he started using the potty again. But I still have to remind him to go every 2 or 3 hours or he will pee on himself a couple times a day.

TAKE HER TO THE DOCTOR
Have her checked for a bladder infection

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uti investigation for sure. something scary in the potty maybe? something inappropriate? bullying? sometimes kids just regress especially if the attention is elsewhere like a new addition to the family. take her to the toilet on a schedule and give her a small treat when she wees in the potty.

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Try talking to her more and see if there is something she is upset with wether it be at home or school, and then for sure see a doc to see if there is a medical reason

I would take her to the Dr.

Could be the beginning of Encopresis, a very rare condition, most Dr. are not familiar with it, most people are not familiar with it, check it out, good luck .

Just put Her on training pull up again start over. Stay positive always this point is crucial. Celebrate the good and just dont mention anything about the bad. Even comfort her tell Her you are proud or Her for school or anything else.

I really don’t want to be THIS person… but is she ever left alone with anyone but you? This regression is super common in children who have been abused sexually. I did. I was 4 when I got assaulted and regressed extremely fast.

I’m not saying that this is the reason, just don’t over look it. Alot of people do.

Could also be a UTI. Or even that shes just not ready.

You can put food coloring in the toilet and when she pees the water will change colors. Could make it fun.

I hope you find a solution.

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