How to prepare your kids for bullies?

A couple kids that used to be my sons best friends (1st grade) have began ganging up on him. Chasing him & pushing him, making him get hurt, every recess. My kiddo is the soft, sweet, gentle, kindest kid I’ve ever seen. He is completely heartbroken and his feelings are so hurt.

The school has become fully involved now, but as we all know, we’ll always have people like this in our lives. So, how do you prepare your kid for how to handle bullies? For a kid that takes everything to heart.

Motherhood ain’t for the weak, y’all

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How to prepare your kids for bullies?

When my L/O is old enough her daddy is going to tech her how to defend herself. But, she’s gonna know not to be a bully.

Throt punch the parents of the little brats

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Karate class. Boxing. Self defense classes. Look into it. Before it’s too late. I was bullied. I still don’t understand how my parents knew and still forced me to go to school. Even the teachers abused me. Show him you care. Teach him how to fight or homeschool him.

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Put your child in a self defense class. Also let him know that regardless of what the school says, he can protect himself without getting in trouble with you. My kids will not be Punching bags. I tell my kids never hit first, but always defend themselves.

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I’ve learned going to school only makes it worse my son 8 and I pulled him out of public school and I’m homeschooling him he was coming home crying for same reasons and it breaks my heart when he hurt.

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Give your child full blast permission to rock the other kids sh*t…teach em to stand up for themselves…

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Go to those kids parents

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If anyone ever bullies my children I’ll be up there ripping that child a new [email protected]&&hole then their parents for raising [email protected]$&holes

My children are going to learn not to be a bully, but I will however not stop my child from throat p$&nching another child because of their behaviour.
Y’all gonna learn that our family does not tolerate it.
Who wants to see mumma cranky :woozy_face:

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Taught my girls they are allowed to stand up for themselves however they wish as long as they didn’t start it.

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Yes prepare him and support him but make the parents and school responsible to stop it. Bullying is devastating. In my day it wasn’t recognized as a problem - just normal kid behavior. I was abused by an adult neighbor. I ate - I guess- and got fat. I was always harassed - even a tack on my chair to see if I would deflate. mean comments in my yearbook.

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My mom always encouraged me to fight. My first one was in 5th grade a girl was bullying me because she thought I was trying to play with a boy she liked but my ball had just bounced near him and I was going to go get it so she grabbed me and pushed me and I punched her in the face and gave her a bloody nose. I wouldn’t have done that if my mom didn’t prepare me. The school called her to come pick me up because they sent me home for the rest of the day and she took me shopping and to get ice cream: after that day nobody messed with me again because they didn’t want a bloody nose. I actually got into a good group of friends because they liked that I was “tough” and we were good friends until we graduated because everyone moved away for college… lol true story. I’m 32 now and I always defend myself when someone starts with me because that’s what my mom taught me.

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Unfortunately the 'system ’ has changed over the years. I’ve been raising my kids to be polite and don’t bully, but if a kid picks on you, tell a adult be it a teacher, principal whatever, and if it continues to stand your ground, but when my son was in first grade I got a call from the school to come pick him up and when I got there his nose was pouring blood ( I lived 7 minutes away) yes ma’am I was a very furious momma… I took him straight to the er, and he had a hairline fracture. The next day I left both my boys with my mom and went up to the school house with paperwork and x-rays from the er visit and demanded to speak to the teacher and principal as I had already been there multiple times for a little boy that was picking on mine. Needless to say I gathered his stuff and when he was released by the dr he was starting a new school. I was told ’ he fell off the monkey bars ’ (my son is petrified of heights) and he had told me the same day I had picked him up this little boy had pushed him and he turned to walk away and grabbed his shirt (a 4th grader I later found out) and then got in front of him spit on him and then punched him in the nose because he said he didn’t like his shoes and he talks funny. But yet the teacher claimed a totally different story and my son had told me several times his teacher was rude to him and always told him to go sit down or go away. So unfortunately it’s not just the kids who bully, when the kids go to a teacher or adult who don’t take it seriously… the problem doesn’t get resolved and at that point it’s like what do I do? So I finally pulled him completely out of school and I’m homeschooling him. He does have homeschooling groups that meet and play so he does have other child interaction and his personality has truly blossomed and with the one on one teaching his reading and math has excelled alot above his grade level.

You can’t. It’s heartbreaking, but tell him their behavior says everything about THEM and nothing about him. Give him a safe space to be himself. Foster relationships that allow that. This group are not his friends. Acknowledge that he has a hard path to find new friends.
Celebrate who he is. He doesn’t have to fit into the popular mold, he may not always be on the kickball team, but he will find his people.

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If my kids got bullied I threaten a few times to bash the parents…it soon stopped…don’t mess with my kids💪

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that’s when I put my son in Taekwando class. He ended up using this skill to defend himself one day!!! the kid never messed with him again

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Tell him to talk to the teachers at recess and then of the kids don’t stop, teach him to fight back. I’m not going to allow other kids to just beat on my kid if grownups won’t intervene. Always try to get a grownups help first, but if not defend yourself

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Tell your son if someone touches him in a bullying manner, to wack em. My son learned to defend himself from the beginning. Hes a natural fighter but he knows now that if he gets bullied and he gets picked on like that, then bam. I’ll be there at the school if I get a call and be like yup, he sho did.

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After my 12 year old daughter, now 16, was physically assaulted by a boy sent to the ER and in a c-collar she finally took my advice. The school did nothing other than pay for the medical bills. A week later, she finally defended herself and broke the boy’s nose after he had a handful of her hair. The principal said “he has a crush on her”……my ass!!! She’s my oldest and the other 2 have also defended themselves. I give them a high five in front of the principal when I have to pick them up. We’re going on 2 years with no issues for any of the kids.
Teach them to defend themselves!!! They are never able to throw the first punch, but always able to finish it!

I always had a natural talent of how to diffuse hostile situations and taught myself self control. My mom always said to not start a fight but finish it. So if it got to that point that person got rocked enough to not get seriously hurt but enough to never mess with me again. With my older sister I taught her how to fight and throw a good punch. She got me in the nose pretty good when practicing but I was proud of her.

My son is 7 and experienced his first taste of racism and some bullying when he was just 5. Some boys called him the N word in school and we’re just being horrid, he didn’t know what it was until he asked me.
We talk regularly about how not everyone is raised the same and that some children don’t get taught respect, manners etc.
From having these conversations he has become a great judge of character and knows the type of children he wants to surround himself with and who he doesn’t.
I spoke to the school which didn’t seem to do much as it still continued.
It hasn’t got to far with the bullying because I spoke to the parents and explained the situation, of course they were just rude about it so I told them if another incident was to occur then I wasn’t going to be as nice with my next approach :fist_left:t4:
My son has never had a problem with them since and enjoys school now.

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Tell your kid if you are hit then hit him too
If you are pushed then pushed him too
What you get
Give it back to them
It’s give n take

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You need to go to the parents! Your his advocate his in grade 1 not 10! Also self defence and Team sport.

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Teach your kid to fight back. But tell them to let the other kid/kids take the first punch.

Some people say violence isn’t a way to solve violence but there is a time to be nice and hope it goes in your favor, that you dont get beat on and then there’s a time to not be nice when you have to stand up for yourself and fight back.

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I taught my children to never bully or start a fight, but I also taught them to defend themselves and stand up to someone bullying them or others. I taught them to nip it in the butt at the very start. That being said, I still had to take 2 of my 6 out years ago cause of their anxiety over having been bullied. It’s a sad world. Do whatever you feel you need to do to protect your baby.

Treat others how you wanna be treated. If he’s physically being hurt then it’s gonna come to a point where he’s gotta defend himself or their just gonna keep doing it! I’ve taught my 11 year old to never start anything but if he’s being bullied he needs to stand up for himself and have a back bone! No, I don’t condone violence but when it comes to a bully they won’t stop til this happens! Our schools don’t take bullying as serious as they should so I would make sure the school is on top of it! You leave your child there, therefore your child is their responsibility while he’s not in your care but if nothing changes I would be having a meeting with the parents because sometimes it’s a reflection of parenting!

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I also said to my boys that if someone hits/pushes/bullies you always defend yourself. If im called to the school because my child was fighting(in self defence) I will always have their back. Do what you want to me, just don’t ever touch my kids.

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I always yell my kids you have to
1 tell them to stop
2. Stay away from them
3. Tell an adult
4. Defend your self how ever you need to. If its more than one grab the biggest one and keep hitting don’t let go until someone pulls you off…

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My dad told me if someone puts their hands on me first, then to deck them…you get what you give. Teach your baby to defend himself!!

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Let her know what a special little human she is. How she saved you from being alone. That you admire her creativity, her passion and her beautiful inside. And tell her not to take any shit from that britches.
It’s to eat or being eaten in this world. She decides her role.

Get him involved with a sport he likes or if he hates sport get him involved in some kind of group thing so he has friends and feels involved with kids with common interests.

Teach him to walk away and not to take people s…t too as it’s not worth it. Teach him his worth and teach him confidence!

I have a 5 year old and I am finding that we are not only dealing with the bully but the parent of the bully playing the victim which is shameful and I really can’t be bothered with the antics. Parents are worse to deal with than the child and especially if they have nothing better to do with their time!

I’m teaching my daughter to walk away and not to worry about her as there are plenty of other cool kids to play with and associate with! I think in time things work themselves out… and other people work it out too! But yeh I’m teaching resilience, confidence, to be kind and walk away!

You can’t change other people but you can teach your own child how to deal with life situations! So starting at a young age with life skills is important as we all encounter awful people as adults!

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This is awful your poor son, I have 3 children, all grown adults with kids themselves now, but 1 thing I taught them is ALWAYS stick up for yourself, NEVER let anyone push you around ect, thankfully none were ever bullied but if they were they knew what to do, I know I’ll get backlash but he needs to try his best and stand his ground, bullies are insecure and crave ATTENTION, once he starts PUSHING back they’ll stop! And I mean PUSHING BACK!

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My son was bullied in school and When the school failed to protect him i told him to fight back.I also went knocking on parents doors as well.Im not for the bulls*t.I was more worried about my sons heart being hurt then anything else.

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11yr old daughter was being bullied by a 13yr old boy…
I went to the school and pulled him out of class said afew nice words to him and yeah that was it he never went near her again…

Get in touch with the other children’s parents. I’m sure they don’t want their kid to be a bully just as much as you don’t want your child bullied.

Its easy to say fight back…not every child is made that way
I sent my son to Tae Kwon Do. It builds strength, confidence and self discipline.
Bullies are cowards …if he has the confidence to fight back it will stop

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Like I told my kids. If you can walk away, do it. If they strike or push you first…lay em out. Finish them off too.

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How to prepare your kids for bullies?

Teach them self defense I was bullied once stood up for myself an never happened again

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Following cause I’d also like to know

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How to prepare your kids for bullies?

Emm you March your mama bear ass to the school and take care of it or talk to the administration

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I’m sorry but I am all for listening and being there for the kid but also letting them work it out for themselves… I taught my kids right from wrong… I taught them to speak their truth… I also told them that this is not always their most favoral outcomes but us always for the best… My kids are now a senior in high school on student council senior rep and nominated for himecoming queen… My son graduated last year he is in his first year of pre-med school… They are both on opposite ends of the spectrum one analytical and one artistic and one anilogical both have experienced bullying. My little girl lost one of her bffs to suicide because of bullying and still lives with that today… ( she is only 17 can you imagine having to carrry that at her age… she was the last person he talked to before he was killed by his bullys…) My son because he was not the cool kid who did drugs and drank because he was looking twords his future…
I am proud to say both of my kids have grown to be happy healthy young people that both know right from wrong… I have taught them to know their truth and stand up for it no matter what the cost but to pick their battles wisely… They know that I will have their backs no matter what right or wrong but only if it is worth their heart… As they grow you need to turn to them as growing humans and learn what they need from you and do your very best to be that for them… Teach them to fight for what is right but know what is truly important to their overall happiness in lfe

Probably an unpopular opinion as well but I was home schooled. If the teachers and other parents can’t deal with it it is time to leave. Change schools or home school for a bit. Don’t let him stay and suffer if you can think of somewhere else to go

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My kids will slap the shit out of someone for tryin to bully them :woman_shrugging:t2: they were taught to defend themselves against anyone who tries to inflict pain on them

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Idk about you but ima teach my kids how to defend themselves. Putting them in karate and/or boxing which ever one they choose. I want them to be strong and to be able to defend themselves if need be. But to not hit unless the other person hits first. Sometimes killing with kindness or ignoring them just doesn’t work. I was bullied hard as a kid all through school and I wish my family had put me in those classes to learn how to defend myself…

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My parents put me in tae Kwon do and taught me to fight. I was 90 lbs until I was 20. But a second degree black belt. No one bothered me anymore.

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I told my kids to hit back also my kids were in boxing …

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I give my kids a few life rules to live by… do not be the bully… protect others who are bullied… and do not let yourself get bullied. It makes them have a stronger mind set that they can control how they react. Plus puts them in a positive position to stand up for others as well. Bullies only bully because their home life is not the best and they put their hurt on to someone else. So maybe when he is being picked on… tell him to just walk away and pray that that person gets help because they must be going through something to feel the need to hurt someone else. It’s never personal. Don’t engage and definitely do not make it personal.

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I was bullied in school and my parents used to tell me to fight back but it didn’t matter. I never fought back because I was afraid. It starts with confidence. It takes a lot to stand up to a bully and it’s not something that’s going to happen overnight. I’d look into martial arts for your child. It’ll build confidence and knowledge and will provide him with a means to learn how to assert himself. He’ll learn self defense which will give him the upper hand if they go after him again.

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My sons were bullied and asked the bullies to meet after school - i DROVE them to the their fights (2 separate times)
BULLIES LIKE TO FEEL POWERFUL
a nice hard left to the chin will take ALL the bully out of them

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Bully the bully, this might sound wrong however some bullies don’t understand the extent of their actions until they experience it themselves.
Get your child into martial arts or similar - it’s not just for defence, it builds confidence etc -

My 5 year old started school this year & I always remind him, if someone bullies him that he has 3 chances to give them to walk away before he stands up for himself & if these bullies were to hit him he knows to hit back - but to never throw the first punch -

just like your son, my 5 year old is fragile and takes everything to heart.

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I’ve told my son. Never hit first. But always hit back. I have no advice. I’d lose my shit

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My middle son is autistic and I went into panic mode when he started high school because I knew my high school was hell… so I taught him the baby oil effect… wipe some that baby oil in you and let those nasty hateful words slide off you… the baby oil will make those words disappear… and till this day (he’s 20 years old ) he is the most gentle biggest teddy bear in the world and nothing bothers him… it takes a lot… tried it on my youngest son now 18 and he says his bottle is empty and has been for some time…lol told this to the autism foundation when they talk to him and they loved the idea…

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Teach him to fight back , I always tell my daughter never start anything and never be mean to anyone , but if they are bullying you then you have got to fight back and let know not mess with you , a good punch will stop them from bothering you . Like you said there’s always going to be those type of mean people in life and you have to teach your kids to always stand up for themselves.

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I tell my kids words first, then end it. Never start a fight. Walk away if you can, beat their brakes off if they hurt you.

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Put him in Karate to teach him to protect himself. They will teach him ways to do so and no kids will be trying to push him around. He’s got to learn to stand up for himself and protect his self. Also, I would be going above the school if they aren’t doing anything to stop it. Not sure where you are from, but putting your hands on another person is considered battery here. I’d call the police and get them involved. Although that could cause more problems for your son because kids these days are ruthless. They may get mad that they was told on. So I’d definitely toughen him up and teach him or put him in some self defense classes. These kids obviously know they can push him around so they’re probably going to continue to do so. If he fights back then I bet they stop. Then if others see he’s not going to take it they won’t mess with him either.

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My son is 3 and is getting bit and pushed at school. There’s only so much a teacher can do. It all starts at home.
I’m teaching my son to stick up for himself. He may never hit a friend first but if a friend pushes or hits him, he has all our support to push back or hit back.

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Why have you not raised hell at his school. Get a restraining order as well for the other kids. Protect your child, the school will have to keep them away from him. Document everything.

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I told my son this “ don’t start it . If someone lays a hand on you , we’ll then fight back . “

I’ve also told him to tell teachers or rec leaders . Sadly tho
I’ve had too many instances where my child was lied on.

Sadly this year his teacher was the one trying to bully him . :roll_eyes: due to covid restrictions I had to have an online meeting with her , but what she didn’t know is that both his grandparents from his dads side work for the school district :woman_shrugging:t4:

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Bullies only back down when confronted. Teach your kid some self defense and let him whoop some butt. Stops am every time. All else fails, be a mama bear and put the fear of God into them yourself.

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Bullies use power to get their way. So in turn, they’re really only as powerful as we allow them to be. The bully is going to test the waters with your son to see what his reaction is going to be. If they get the reaction they’re seeking the bullying will most likely continue, if not they will most likely move on. It won’t be easy especially if it’s someone who used to be a friend but practice with your son how he should respond. Give him actual language to use. Nothing negative or mean, that only fuels the fire and what are you teaching there? For him to be a bully? Ever heard of killing them with kindness? Bullies usually can’t stand positive people/ responses. Also make sure your son can identify a group of friends that will help support him and that he can have fun with at recess. Set up some after school play dates ( I don’t know how old your son is) but help him make some new friends! Best of luck to you both, I wish your son the best - he deserves it :blue_heart:

He is gonna have to stand up for himself and learn to defend himself. Otherwise his feelings are always going to be hurt and he is not going going learn anything from not handling this situation… This is a teachable lesson for both parties.
Bullying builds strength in kids. Parents are so worried about kids feelings that they forget that this world doesn’t care about your feelings. People aren’t suppose to think like you are act like you and everyone is different. We stand up for ourselves to actions that we do not like and we stand up for those that can’t stand up for themselves or that we need to show them how to stand up for themselves as well.

Unpopular opinion, but since starting school, my daughter’s have been bullied.
So we taught them to never swing first , but make sure you swing last.
Unpopular opinion I know, but being the one bullied as a kid, I won’t allow my girls to go through what I did.

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I tell my kid to knock the shit out of any kid that would put hands on them. Shes never in trouble for finishing a fight. Only if she starts one.

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I taught my Daughter bullies are sad. They are either not taught and loved properly, or have an insecurity and want to take the attention off themselves and see you shining so they want to ruin it. Kill them with kindness, they’ll get bored super fast if you just say thank you and walk away. Get an adult and ask to call home if it gets too much.

I taught my LB,

Never start a fight…

But always finish one :woman_shrugging:

At the end of the day if he is being bullied, and the school are not helping, then he needs to stand up for himself as I’m not there to help him.

And never ever bully someone because of what they look like or any reason.

I tell my boys that in 10 years or when they are adults these kids wont matter they most likely they wont be no where near so dont worry about what they say. Now if they get physical my children have every right to defend them selves. But I also tell them to shove the bullies down as hard as they can on their ass they wont wanna get back up .

I was taught to knock the biggest one out. It worked, they all stopped being so mean. Teach them karate or martial arts.

I found this awesome motivational speaker on YouTube. He’s geared more toward middle school kids, but it’s a really great way to stop bullying and have a few laughs too. I’ll see if I can find the link

Enroll him in mixed martial arts. Designed for discipline & self protection. :blue_heart:

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I was that kid in school, still have a soft heart. But it took being bullied so much and me finally snapping, for the bullies to realize not to mess with me

Karahi lessons, this is what is happening in their Holmes, Drama, fighting, arguments, anything not positive,every thing criminal.they are bringing it to the streets, Listen, Karate lessons, even things up, legally.

I got bullied in school a lot, teach him to never start a fight but to finish one that’s what I was always taught, I’m gonna teach my kids the same, I’m also gonna teach them not to take that crap

You have to take a stand and do what ever you have too. My son was bullied by the teachers. He had ADHD and was dyslexic. I had to teach him how to write. He started on the wrong side to write, and did his spelling all backwards. They had 10 kids like him with no teacher to teach these kids. They kept flunking him and telling him he would be there next year. Took away his play time. I thank God, did not go to that school, But I had to go deal with the teacher that picked him up and threw him, not my SO never.

Oh man, I’m sorry. For my child it would depend on the day. We tried to keep open dialogue and I listened between the lines. Sometimes yep, kick ass. Other times something else. Definitely not for wimps, so right. Sigh :two_hearts:

We are all signing anti bullying agreements with the schools. Every year we sign these. I would make the school uphold the policies all parents agreed to. It shouldn’t be a question when we sign these outrageous zero tolerance policies. Throw that back at them. Also Im making police reports. Every. Single. Time. So you have a record of the school doing nothing at all. These kids are hanging themselves at 8 and 9 years old over bullying. Its not the time we grew up in. Call me what you will but im calling the cops to the school every time. :woman_shrugging:t2:

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I believe if the school isn’t help the matter. Than your better off doing it yourself or teaching your child to stick up for themselves. Bullying won’t stop unless you do something about it.

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Put him in some kickboxing classes and tell him to beat they a**! Worked like a charm for my kids

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Go to the parents of the kids

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Schools hands are tied. Fight back.

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Keep talking to him about what it means to be a good person.

Karate or some form of it.

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Tell him protect his self! Punch back! :facepunch: jk don’t listen to me.

Fight back! I’m raising my 2 girls and son not to take anybodys shit, don’t start it but u damn sure better finish it. These kids nowadays are flat out jerks.

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I taught my kids to do no harm but take no shit either. You need to teach your child to stand up for him or her self.

Get the kid self defense lessons

I was bullied in school & the only way to stop them was to stand upto them :woman_shrugging:t4:. Doesnt mean bashing the shit out of them, but a little toned voice worked for me.

We put our son in jujitsu, he’s a gentile soul like yours and it gave him the confidence to know that he can defend himself if needed

I was bullied as a kid, my mother’s advice, just ignore them…that doesn’t work. My advice to my kids, if they put their hands on you defend yourself. Yes, I am that mother that taught all 3 of my kids how to throw a punch. They knew never to start anything, but they sure as did know it is okay to defend yourself.

Sports sports sports! Not every sport is right for every kid, so it may take a few tries, but you can also think outside the box and go for karate or Tae Kwon Do. The goal is to build confidence in your kids, bullies tend to target the weeker and meek!

I’ve told this to all my nieces and nephews. First you tell the supervisor about it and if she doesn’t do anything about it or it continues go to a teacher and tell them … if it’s still happening go to the principal and if nothing is happening… then beat their ass :slightly_smiling_face: you’ve already taken the necessary steps with adults and nothing happened . So now you have free range to fuck them up. I will happily go down there and tell them that they didn’t do anything , it was reported and nothing happened. I’ll even bring it to the Super attendance attention about this incident .

Taekwondo. Poor kid.

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Friends change from year to year, teach him to move on from negativity.

Tell him to fight back.

Take no shit, but be a friend to everyone.

Get him in an MMA class or something like that. Give him the tools to defend himself or it won’t stop.

I have the mindset of if they throw first then you can hit them right back. Kids who bully also deserve to be thrown out into the world so blast them to the school, to the parents, and online letting everyone know how much of a little sh*t that kid is

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Gosh that sucks… My nephew is being bullied in kinder get kicked on the stomach pencils thrown at him and push in the bus by this caucasasian kid. My parents confronted the parents about their son. They said they taught him how to defend himself. But never mentioned about teach him not to bully other kids just because he knows how to defend himself. Im mad I kinda wanna be a bad aunty ,wanna teach my nephew to get a pencil and stab that kid in the eyeballs. Or kick the kid on the nuts.