Men really need to stop knocking up women they don’t love.
Let him go, I’m very sorry you’re going through this prior delivering your 2nd child.
Just get on a ripper and eat salads!! Way out the chemical mind
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Why would he do this to you?
Do not force him to stay with you, I know it’s very hard, no tips or tricks work if there is no love and support, just let him be.
Trust me, motivate and encourage yourself, do better for yourself and your child, get a good adviser and solicitor who can help and guide you.
m sure you can do much better than now, good luck
YOU DESERVE BETTER INDEED xxx
So he pretty much decided 10 months ago that he wanted a divorce but he had no compunction about getting you pregnant 9 months later! And his timing in dumping this news on you when you just delivered his baby! OMG! What a truly incredible jerk!!
Watch “AUDIOBOOK | The 5 Love Languages | Gary Chapman (EN)” on YouTube
I think she should try out listening to this and see if it helps. He hasn’t been getting something out of the relationship for his feelings to change. I think it’s normal for couples to get distant and then come back together. She says she is about to have a baby. Is your sex life good or poor. Sex isn’t everything but it is the thing that connects a couple. If you love him. Try and be proactive in saving the marriage. If he gives back zero effort, you can be at peace that you tried your hardest. He needs to also think of the children. He needs to keep that in mind and put in the work to save the marriage also. Try and if it’s really over. Be proactive to make life as loving and comfortable for your children. It’s about them. Adult feelings need to be set aside.
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I no your pain and pray that God will give you the strength to overcome.
Leave with your respect in hand. Just let him go and enjoy that beautiful baby.
Get what u need like his social security number n such likes for child support
Let the dick go and take him to.court
Take it from me your true love well come don’t let hi
Win
When people tell you who they are, believe them. I will be praying for you.
Yes let his ass go… And humble yourself. They always come lurking and don’t fall for it. Because if he leave you for somebody that relationship will fail at some point 
KARMA
He more then likely has a girlfriend. Let him go.
Maybe the baby will help but def get you a great support team cuz PPD may hit hard as Fuck
So very sorry for his loss consider yourself free
Have him see MD. Could be depression, not the marriage.
Get a good lawyer and nail him in court. What an ass he is
Honestly give him his divorce, Take care of yourself and the kids. What you agree to on with your kids is on both of you. But just for you, Leave. Being unloved and pregnant isn’t a good mix. Just adds more stress when you dont need it.
Why punish yourself because he fell out of love. You don’t want to make it work for the sake of the kids either, if he decided this while you’re pregnant.
Let him leave and it will hurt but you will eventually be better off 
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Have you tried being a good wife?
Get rid of the bast—- and get it ALL
He’s a real jerk. He could have,at least, supported you thru delivery. It is his child!
That’s precious baby.
Let him go! Not worth keeping
Kick his ass to the curb and move on , he already has
You guys need to discuss things as a couple maybe with the help of a third party and explain how you guys are feeling about certain things so you guys can work on them so therapy is probably the best option or maybe a close friend
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He cheated. There is no saving that. Why would you even want to? Realize you deserve better, have some self respect and walk away and never look back.
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If he cheated he shouldn’t get a say in what YOU need to be able to move past it. If you need him to come to counseling with you, he needs to go. If he’s unwilling to do what you ask of him he’s unwilling to do the work to save the marriage and it’s a lost cause.
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No one can tell you how to save YOUR marriage you have to save it yourself by both of you working at it
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My mama has been married to my dad for 35 years and she has always told me. It doesn’t matter if you are with that person 5 minutes m, 5 years or 50 years. Cheat on me and I will leave and never look back. That’s the ultimate betrayal. I couldn’t stay. I am praying for you
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I agree with a lot of what’s being said. Hebpaid the crime and needs to come to terms things need to change between both of you to work. Going to counseling will only help if both of you are willing to outbin the work. If he refuses counseling he’s basically admitting he doesn’t want to make it work and you should move on knowing you were willing to try and he wasnt.
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Cheating is something I couldn’t move past but your marriage has lasted so long that maybe it could be salvaged.
His lack of communication isn’t helping at all. I feel you need to present an ultimatum. Counseling or you split.
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You can only save the marriage if you both put in work. If he’s not willing to at least have real conversations and thinks everything is fine as is, the marriage is done. Sorry.
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Pack your bags and go enjoy the rest of your life in peace.
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Doesn’t sound at all like he wants to save this marriage. The cheating is a deal breaker right there. But the fact he won’t do anything to work on things like counseling shows he doesn’t care. I say move on, no point in putting effort into a marriage that he obviously doesn’t care about.
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Cant fix someone that doesn’t think they are broken or can use help. Save your heart and don’t waste more time that you already have
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It can’t be saved if he isn’t also willing to save it.
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You can not make someone go to therapy if they do not want to go, that being said you should go to therapy because you might want to save your marriage now but in the end you getting therapy might show you your worth and give you the tools to stay in your marriage or the courage to say “screw you” and walked out.
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I am shocked at these comments.
Go to therapy alone. He will eventually follw suit. Work on you and how you can accept it and move on. He can’t help you move on from it. He needs counseling for himself to figure out why he cheated, forgiving himself and moving on from it. Then you two need counseling together to put together each thing you worked on for yourselves. There are 3 parts to this. Each one of you separately and you two together. You have to start somewhere. From what I have seen the cheaters find it harder to forgive themselves . They punish themselves. Especially of it is out of their normal. Talk to him. Explain you are going to counseling to work on you . Encourage him but don’t attack him.
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Just packing and living separately life it’s will give you peace after so many suffering and tolerances with this man! You need to enjoy yourself. Maybe he will come around for counseling if he really wants to be with you or not… just don’t get your high hopes. Men are too slow to understands what’s worth of marriage purposes. He will regret it.
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Documentation and good divorce attorney.
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Same thing happened to me 7 years ago after 27 years of marriage, six kids with one deceased. Youngest graduated from HS and he said he wanted out, just wasn’t happy. Refused counselling. Found out that he had been cheating on me for about 20 years of our marriage…with someone I knew. I tried to fight for things but eventually just wore down and gave up. I miss my intact family a lot but I have found the most wonderful man who treats me better than I deserve and would never be like my ex. And it is hilarious that my ex acts like I have the plague whenever we have to be anywhere near each other 
I wish you peace and happiness in however it works out…
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Your answer is in your question
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YOU alone can not save the marriage. It takes two people to make or break a marriage and if he is not willing to work on it, it will never get better. Sounds to me like he may not care or love you enough to try to make it better. Maybe he wants out unless he is only staying for financial reasons and if that’s the case, the treatment and cheating will continue. 
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30 years is a long time, sounds like u would benefit from a new journey, prayers for you. Time doesn’t change people
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I don’t understand why people FIGHT to stay in a crappy marriage. He’s showing you who he is… believe him.
Once you go start living your best life, you’ll wander why it took you so long.
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Don’t save the marriage you should find a man that loves you
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If he is not willing to do counseling or therapy , i.e.put in actual work…there will be no saving it
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Well you 100% will benefit from counseling. It is designed to be safe place to give tips and tools to help you. However you both need to be all in or it’s not going to work. Maybe he’s not willing to do the self reflection and deal with what’s happened. You are always going to be stuck in a repeating loop because you’re lacking the insight to move forward. Counseling was very helpful and I recommend it…. But you have to get him on the same page as you. Maybe he’s not going to change and he’s unwilling to do this. If he’s not what are you going to do? Good luck.
you were married for 30 yrs, Really how many of those yrs have you been really happy in this marriage??? He isn’t going to change so get a divorce. Everything will be split 50/50 . Oh & if you don’t remarry & he made good money, you can collect is SS if he dies, & if you haven’t retired yet, or you retired & his SS is a lot more than yours 
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Go to counseling alone. He’s not likely going to change and you will get the tools you need to make the right decision for your own happiness.
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You cannot fix someone who doesn’t see any issues within themselves. He obviously knows he would have to change because the counselor is going to tell him that. Marriage is like a bank, you withdraw and deposit into it. If someone is taking too much and never depositing that’s where issues, resentment, and bitterness comes in. The adulterer drained the bank account and should be replenishing it every chance he gets. I don’t care how bad a marriage gets, involving a third party is never the answer. He broke vows to you and to God, from a religious stand point. If you guys are not religious, that’s OK too, but you will find prayer and devotion helps. Also, if he refuses to fix anything and expects all the change to come from you, it may be better to go separate ways or a separation.
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It seems that you want to save the marriage; Does he want to save the marriage? If so, than you both should tell one another what needs to be done for you both to be happy.
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He’s unfaithful. Not open to counseling. Not open to compromise. There is nothing you can do to save the marriage. Leave before you make yourself more miserable.
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I left my ex-husband after 31+ years. I put up with his shit way longer than I should’ve and over time it just got worse and worse. Get out! Life is too short!
As others have stated, it takes two to make a relationship work. Staying together with someone who doesn’t respect you, is just setting the tone for how your children will view love and it will give them an unhealthy perspective of what a relationship is supposed to look like. You and your children deserve better than this.
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Go to counseling alone. Even if he’s not willing to go with you that will help you find your self worth and sort your feelings out so you can decide. I’m sorry after so many years you are finding yourself in this position but things can get better even if your decision is to leave.
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Don’t stress about saving your marriage. Your kids are grown, So save yourself. 
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You need a higher power, and counseling. God can fix anything.
From the sound of it, as long as you’re willing to be the one doing all the compromising and giving in, your marriage will last forever. If he refuses to change and refuses to take the steps necessary to fix your marriage, you have two choices. Stay and deal with things the way they are OR leave and find your own happiness. In my opinion though, if he has cheated, your marriage is already over.
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Get out now it is only going to get worse
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went through that same thing 5 kids and it only got worse leave before that happens
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You had a good run.Seems your kids were meant to be,not the marriage. Dont waste anymore of your time.life is to short
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Hi. I really get how scary and sad it is to end a marriage and leave when u are older in life and have been with the one person so long. However that being said many women our age are more than happy to be single rather than be lonely and unhappy and still be married to a stranger. Your husband may pull his socks up finally when u leave, but if you are like me, once l had settled into a house l was so relieved to be able to breathe and relax. It was nice not to have to worry about what was for tea, what mood he would be in, it was hard and l was sad but I WAS STILL HAPPIER WITHOUT HIM. 6 years in l have my independence and l am my old self again. Yes l have regrets and many times l wish he and things had of been different but still l made the right choice. I am with someone else now, yes he isn’t the love of my life, but l am loved, and l have companionship and l am treated with respect and the same is given in return. Please leave and see what the future holds for.you…U deserve to be happy. U really do. Good luck and be brave, time for you now.
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Once you cheat that’s it. Talking to someone , texting someone. That is all forms of cheating.
You deserve better! Move on. 
. God has a better plan for you:heart:
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I was married for 30 years and raised 2 children together. We divorced last year and both of us are okay. However, there continues to be this nagging feeling of loneliness. I still miss him so much. We are both in relationships and get along great but I’m sure we will always be super connected.
A marriage takes two to make work. As hard as it is, your husband isn’t willing to put in that work. You can try counseling alone and see if he later changes his mind. Maybe he’s one of those people that feels weak if he goes to talk about marriage to a complete stranger. Then again, maybe he just doesn’t want to put in the same effort that you do. If he doesn’t want to, there is nothing that you can do to change that.
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Sorry but he Checked out. If he was truly sorry and wanted your marriage to work he would be WILLING TO DO ANYTHING to save it.
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I’m telling you from personal experience, that you can’t rug sweep this. He thinks everything is fine, because in HIS world it is.
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I went through the same thing and we ended up divorced. He refused to work it out and I couldn’t get past it. He ended up cheating several more times. The last time he left, I said I was done. The relationship turned toxic and he started being abusive towards me. Now he’s kicking himself and is lonely while I am in a healthy relationship with a real man that knows how to treat a woman.
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I don’t understand why so many people insist on the need to save a marriage that is not making either party happy. Life is too short to force something that isn’t working- there is a whole wide world of new opportunities and experiences out there. So many people get wrapped up in the “marriage is forever, save it at all costs” mentality- but why? If it stops making you happy move on and find something that does. Live a life that you are happy to look back on, not one that you forced yourself to endure. You will be grateful for it someday.
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Counseling or nothing!
He created some of this mess by being unfaithful… there will never be a quick fix to a relationship other than going y’all’s separate ways… if he’s not willing to put in true effort to fix it, save yourself and just leave. You deserve that peace of mind, the clarity and the love you desire. You’ve got this❤️
You go to counseling. For you. It will help you find yourself and if forgiveness is in you, it will help make it so. And if it’s not, it will help you make sound decisions about your future. Good luck
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Get yourself to a therapist, even if he isnt willing to go, maybe the therapist can help you learn to communicate better. If you want to save your marriage, then start with learning about yourself and how you deal with things.
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So here’s the thing, you are the only one putting in the work. Take a step back and look at your whole relationship as a movie. The woman going above and beyond to make her marriage work, the husband is unfaithful, unfazed by his hurting her, not willing to make things right. Is this movie a love story where the man changes and everything is better or realistically do you root for the woman to break out of her comfort and start a new life of your own. The truth is your husband is set in his ways and statistically won’t change. He confirmed it the moment he declined counseling. What you need to do is stop worrying about him and start doing for you. Live your life to the fullest. If you can’t leave for financial reasons, then take a trip to visit family alone. YOU go get therapy. Take a class or find something that brings you happiness and do it alone. What men don’t understand is that when they are not willing to work on a marriage together with their spouse, he is teaching his spouse how to live without him. He is unknowingly preparing you to be on your own. Once you live for yourself, take back all you’re energy and work on yourself, he will either try to catch up to you or it is crystal clear that you need to walk away and won’t have to ask. A marriage is salvageable when two people are trying to save it, not just one.
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If he cheated and doesn’t want to get better together he’s already made the decision for the both of you.
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Leave him! Time for u to get someone new 
When I was dating, I had been cheated on before I met my husband. (Actually met my best friend bc of being cheated on) I honestly never dated the same guy twice. If they cheated they were gone.
My husband now hes never cheated on me. We been together since 2012. I was a sophomore in hs. He had graduated when we met. 2 beautiful kids now. I believe its worth fighting for at least once if you have faith in it. If it involves kids. But if it has happened multiple times. Better off co-parenting.
I would never want to come back from cheating but that’s me. Everyone deserves better than that.
Do what you feel is best for you to regain happiness & peace of mind.
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Go. Nothing will change. There is no hope. Unless ur willing to just sweep stuff under rug and ignore the cheating…
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do what your wife asks of you on the first try!
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Go now you have already wasted enough time and if he had an ounce of respect or love for you he wouldn’t have cheated on the first place. And remember he is the one to break up the family not you
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If he cheated, the least he could do is go to therapy. The fact that it seems he is willing to put zero effort into saving your marriage after being unfaithful shows he’s probably done. It’s painful and only you know the right decision, that’s just my input.
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He is not making an effort by the sounds of it. If he is unwilling to go to therapy or try to compromise or change then he isn’t really worried about showing you he cares. Sounds like it’s pretty much over. I am so sorry. I think you should still go to therapy for yourself it can help you still.
Honestly? If this was me, and our kids were old enough to be able to explain things properly too… I’d leave. I don’t have time for immaturity, someone unwilling to put in any effort, or someone unwilling to try. especially if he was unfaithful and then refuses to even attempt to make things better or apologize.
I learnt a long time ago that I’m not a door mat and I deserve better. And that I am worth it. And that I gotta stop letting a man walk all over me. And now? My ex and I are great friends for our son and I actually have a good man who treats me right and never makes me feel like my exes did or cheat on me and etc.
As much as things coming to an end is always hard and sometimes it really sucks… sometimes it’s what best.
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Joke btw lol um it seems he doesn’t want to change maybe your cant save it just being honest
I would tell him it’s time for HIM to go. Here’s the thing, people grow apart or they don’t, if they do grow apart especially after 30 years together then you should both do it with your heads held high and move on. No need for drama or being mean especially when there are kids involved (no matter their age). You only have one life to live.
Live life happy.
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If he’s gone outside the marriage, no effort into trying 2 save it, and the communication issues there is no point In Saving it. The fact the kids are old enough 2 understand there are issues it should only cause a few minor issues in separating. There is no point In continuing 2 try and fight 4 something on ur end if he isn’t willing 2 either. Trust is a 2 way street and u will never be able 2 trust him again now that he’s done it. If there is no communication there is no relationship either. Don’t look at it as 30 years of life wasted. Look at is u raised a good family he just won’t be apart of ur life anymore other than the kids. U now have some freedoms u won’t get being married. It’s a chance 4 a new chapter.
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Sounds like you’re willing to try to save your marriage. On the other hand he does not! You can’t force people to change. You’re better off moving on.
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If it’s fine the next day is a RED FLAG, go to therapy alone so you can still get an extra opinion
My mom and dad were together for 55 years…dad never left her but he loved her eventhough he cheated many times…she would never divorce him because she loved him they were friends and it hurt her when he cheated…but in the end he took care of her when she had dementia and they both had cancer which the died from…
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You’re obviously willing to work on yourself. I don’t believe it’s you. I’m sure it’s not all him either but the fact that you’re willing to put the work in means something. 
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It really depends on his reasoning. Some people, and especially men in their 50s as I’m guessing you guys are from the whole married 30 years thing, see therapy as almost like a weakness or a waste of time. Before you make a decision take the time to make sure that you have done your best to not just tell him how you feel, but to find out how he actually feels. It is very easy to think you know what someone is thinking, especially if you don’t have good communication and you’ve spent a lot of time in your own head about it.
You get counseling. You need to work on you. He either follows and helps your relationship or he falls away and you go on with your life. There is nothing set in stone that says you are forced to stay in an unhappy marriage
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