How to talk to kids about sensitive subjects?

When talking to your children about a very uncomfortable subject what are some tips? My son is experiencing sexual emotions for the first time, he’s been noticing urges & differences in his private area & all he can say is it feels “weird” or “different”. Unfortunately I don’t know how to explain those feelings as I am a woman & do not know what boys/men experience mentally & emotionally when arousal & curiosity starts happening. I know this is a touchy subject for kids & I’ve talked with my kids about no means no & if someone touches you in your private areas to say no & tell a trusted adult but this is a completely different conversation & I want to approach it in the most respectful & honest way I can. My husband/kids father expects me to have this conversation with our son & I am not sure where to start.. Any tips or help with starting the conversation & opening up for questions would be greatly appreciated! Thanks for all the advise in advance!!
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How to talk to kids about sensitive subjects?

The father really outta be having the conversation with him :triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post:

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It was up to me too. As a single mom whose has boys and knowing that their father wouldn’t do it and was uneducated as my boys because he was from another country. Tell your son that at first the conversation might be awkward or uncomfortable for both of you but you wouldn’t want that then the conversation my girl is pregnant. Research the subject, talk with a Dr, or a very close male about the questions he has or might come up. Also, if he doesn’t wa the conversations with you then suggest a male he might be completely comfortable and honest with Google, urban dictionary and a male friend helped me through almost all the conversations. Heck, my boys taught me something

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Yes I agree :100: but sometimes he won’t. Don’t go to him as it is a bad thing simply get to his leavel…and see tell him it is part of being a lil older thier is nothing wrong with what you are going threw it’s all apart of life and assure him you are gonna go through it together with him.its okay to like and look at girls but at the most respected ways possible. Don’t go back n as a teacher just you are his mom.let him know nothing’s is wrong…soon the doors are gonna be locked so don’t scare him when doing so and please don’t punish him if he is looking at magazines…just assure him his doing everything a boy is supposed to be going threw…

Hey, there’s a guy on YouTube who makes videos for kids without father’s, or father’s who don’t act like a father. Lemme see if I can find the guy.

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I have a eight year old boy and in a few years I’ll be having that conversation with him and then I got a 2 yr old girl and that’s gonna be awcurd.but at the most you can teach him to respect his body as he will respect a women’s body you have the cards to make a wonderfully gentleman… :100: Percent you got this …as a father you are a super mom…

I just try to be matter of fact about it with my kids. I stress that it’s all just natural and it’s also something that happens to everyone else that ever existed.

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I suggest starting by reassuring him that what he is feeling is normal. And other boys are experiencing the same physical involuntary reactions and emotions, as he is.

I would also teach privacy. Masturbation is normal for kids. But there is a time and place that is appropriate.

Also talk about respecting privacy and letting him know you respect him and understand that he is growing up. Let him know you trust him and respect his personal space by agreeing to always knock on his door before entering, this will help him feel safe and that he has a place to be his own refuge.

I would also continue to talk with your husband. He may feel uncomfortable, especially if his dad never had a conversation with him about. Suggest he and your son watch different YouTube videos describing going through puberty.

I have a daughter who I bought a couple graphic novels for – they were about a group of friends going through puberty and explaining what she is experiencing. There may be something similar for boys, too!

Good luck! You got this! Just be supportive, let him know you’re here if he wants to talk, and let him know you love him.

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And… why are these MEN not hving the talk w him🤷🏼‍♀️

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Ummmm, yeah, dad needs to step up here!

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Is he close with any men that you trust? Like your brother/his uncle? Maybe he’d be able to talk with him? I have no idea where to start on that one. You might have luck Googling how a mom can talk to their son about puberty and such? Good luck!!

Tell the dad to nut up and talk to his son.

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It helps to focus on the more scientific aspect of it. “Blood is rushing to your genitals and the pressure creates pleasurable sensations”. “Our dna is programmed to replicate, and that’s why it gives us pleasure when we engage in reproductive pursuits”. “You will be feeling these sensations and desires from now on, increasingly in the upcoming years, and then less so when you grow up”. “It’s ok to feel aroused and curious, let’s make a list of appropriate and inappropriate ways of exploring this new stage”. “Don’t let anyone shame you for experiencing this, but also don’t let it drive you towards bad decisions”.

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I just told mine the truth.

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This book is excellent!

Man, if you don’t tell your husband to talk to your son about his MAN parts

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Tell your husband you can’t have this conversation because you’re not male and didn’t experience what your son is experiencing. Then ask for the real reason he’s avoiding the conversation. Your son needs to be able to talk openly with his father.

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That Parent Group (with Cath Hakanson)

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Ummm, the place to start is to tell your husband to man up and be the dad and talk to his son

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I had ‘conversations’ with both of kids on a regular basis in order to keep if from being awkward when it came time to have a deeper one on one conversation.

My son has autism and I have some pretty in depth conversations with him. I talked to him about what happens to his body, what to do and how to handle the situation. I have purchased condoms so he had then available to see/open/try. I want him to be comfortable when the time comes.

The lesson I told both my son and daughters—NO MEANS NO! You should never pressure (or be pressured) into sex and that a girl (or boy) is able to change their mind at any time and you stop immediately!!
If you are not able to discuss having sex and the consequences of having sex with your partner then you shouldn’t be having sex with them.

It is very uncomfortable and embarrassing but An uncomfortable discussion is much better than the lack of one! Good Luck!!

This should be the father’s place to talk to his son, he wouldn’t talk to his daughter about her period.

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“Guy Stuff: the Body Book for Boys” should be a great resource. The counterpart, “The Care and Keeping of You” (both by American Girl) is awesome, and might be good for him to read also, so he knows what’s happening to his female peers also. There are other wonderful resources too—ask your local librarian.

For sensitive talks with kids, I suggest going for walks at night. It’s easier for kids to open up to you in relative darkness when they don’t have to look you in the eye, and there’s something soothing about walking when hardly anyone is around.

If you have any trusted males you can ask if they will talk to him, but tell hubs to find his balls and at least answer the kid’s questions. Sheesh.

First find out what he already knows about the subject, its amazing how much and how early kids are sharing information, it will probably be a fill in the blanks and explain disinformation thing for you

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Talk while doing something else, like driving, drawing, gardening. Anything where they don’t have to make eye contact with you, its easier to talk when not looking at someone.

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I’d be telling your husband to man up. You are not a man and have no clue what to say. That is his boy and the conversation needs to happen between them.

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I talked to my son about all of this stuff. What if they don’t have dad?

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You didn’t put how old your son is which would help. Chances are he prob knows quite abit from sex ed at school and maybe friends. Id buy him a book about puberty so he has something he can refer to if he doesn’t want to ask. I’d do abit of research into the changes he will go through emotionally, if you understand it you can explain it better.

Yeah no dad needs to talk with him.

your husband is a burnt bean for that

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First of all, how old is he?

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American Medical Association… Amazon.com: American Medical Association Boy's Guide to Becoming a Teen: 9780787983437: American Medical Association, Pfeifer, Kate Gruenwald, Middleman, Amy B.: Books

I agree with most of these comments. Your husband is the one that needs to talk to him

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Your husband is your child’s father right? Get him told woman, he’s the man, he knows what’s going on and what not.

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Just be honest. You get an erection and so on…anyone can have this conversation.

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Why isn’t your husband doing it? Surely that makes more sense as he will know what the lad is going through?

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Your husband needs to step up and have the conversation.

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Us orne have a very good book that I went through with my son when the time was right he came to me for a chat. I then gave him the book and he would have a read and come back with any questions. It’s called What’s happening to me

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I’ve been reading my 10 and 13 year old 3 pages a night from these puberty books.they laugh the giggle they get embarrast.but we can now talk openly.

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Bibliotherapy. Find an age appropriate book (ask a librarian) and read it together. Find a newer book that also deals with consent and gender.

They have books for little girls that are detailed but easy to read and made for certain age groups. I wonder if they have something similar for boys? It really helped to explain to my daughter when she was younger. And they had one for younger and older girls with pictures too.

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Well for a starters it’s both your responsibility to talk to your kids about this, he’s running from.a responsibility and there are some goods out there that can help, I think mother thing you most need to talk.about is what he can now be exposed to and that’s porn as well as his own feelings and body,.explain porn is not real and real sex/love making is different than what is shown via the porn industry, be honest and make sure they know they can come to you for everything and please don’t forget consent from both sides is needed so you have covered there side and.saying no but if there partner doesn’t wanna do.anything even as little as handholding or kissing then they need to respect that , be sex and body positive as much as you can and know how amd justice sure they know they can always come to you x

I was a single mum raising my boys they have always bn very open with me so the conversation was reasonably easy for me whn my boys spoke of those feelings i explained 2 thm tht it was normal as they were growing boys and their hormones would go crazy 4 a while bt thn they would b ok we always had the safe sex talk n both my 2 eldest boys have and always carry condoms with thm in case they were ever in a position to need thm my now 19yr old has told me whn he lost his virginity and with who and how it felt it would b nice if ur husband had the convo tho

Your husband should be doing it

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1st i wanna thank you for the sake of humanity. Some parents deny this change happens and dont educate their child or shame them for something thats 100% normal and natural to feel and do. Then they end up having multiple kids that they never intended to have or got pregnant super young because no-one simply talked to them.

If your husband wont have this convo… ask a male family member or friend to help. It takes a village. I would want to be there as id want to make sure they are giving appropriate information and advice and for my input. My sister and i have started this convo with my nephews aged 12 and 10. 12 year old has a gf. My sister has explained things like its ok to show affection by holding hands, there will be no going into your bedroom, no sex. Lets them know its natural nothing to be ashamed of, has explained ejactulation and concept of pregnancy( helps that im currently pregnant and in in early labor as of yesterday so a convo soon about actually having a baby and what i went through- obviously to an age appropriate level). We explained condoms and will be showing them how to use them on bananas, went over bc briefly. We also gave them a chance to ask questions.

tell his father to man up

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Most mums talk to their boys about this stuff, I think dads get to embarrassed. We teach our children how to cross a road safety, so we should talk about body changes and sex to stop unplan baby’s, if he asks you a questions, answer them properly, and explain how boys body’s work , and girl if he wants to know,also talk about condoms, also let him talk even if he’s asking embarrassing questions, children appreciate honesty, and you will be able to correct anything that’s his been told that’s wrong ,let him know what his feeling are natural, there is some great a books out there too ,
You have got this mum give him a cuddle after you have these talks ,it will bring you both closer together and he will feel he can talk to you about anything in the future

When I was growing up my mum got me a book which had all this sort of stuff in it, I think it was actually called growing up and it had all about puberty, teenagers and also a common questions and answer part and then anything I was unsure on I would talk about with my mum. Maybe look on Amazon or eBay on books for growing up? Good luck xx

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Here I am thinking youre a single parent seeking advice then mention your husband?! Um… this is something he needs to discuss with your son … if you cant trust what your husband might say … have a puliminary convo with your husband first to assess exactly how competent his answers are to your sons questions and coach your husband. This is definitely a man thing … especially if the man is around.

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Buy a book -learn all you can. Many conversations will be uncomfortable - but talk anyway. Do t be afraid to admit you are just as uncomfortable. Offer to take him to someone he feels more comfortable with if necessary

There are books that can help him if he is uncomfortable talking about it.

Just be honest with your son. Explain to him it’s natural and while it could be embarrassing its not something to be ashamed of. And as others have suggested, find some she appropriate books. I do think dad should step up and talk to his son about this, but if he’s not stepping up you’re gonna have to

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My son is six and already knows his testicles have sperm inside and that when the sperm meets an egg from a woman that’s how a baby begins to grow. I have anatomy books that I’ve shown him. :joy: I’d probably end up telling my son that his body is experiencing hormonal changes and it’s totally normal to feel that way. I’d ask him if he had any specific questions about the changes he’s feeling. Also, check out your local library and ask the librarian if there are any books on boys going through puberty. I always just explain things the scientific way. It’s easier and it’s more comfortable for me that way. He even knows all about periods because he busted in the bathroom while I was changing and thought I had shit myself :rofl::rofl::rofl: busted out my anatomy book and explained all that to him.

But really your husband should step up and help explain if not on his own than the two of you together should.

Tell the men to grow a set and talk to him. Jeez

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The way these kids are growing up so fast now days there’s no other way than to be blunt, honest, and real, not only about this situation. But all of them. I don’t have any boys, but I have 3 girls 11, 8, and almost 3. They’ve always known there private parts as a V, and that no one is to touch them, look at them, etc. TikTok, school, and friends came along and my 11 year old is already asking what is sex. My answer was, when two people have sex there’s a chance you can have babies… it’s where P enters the V and so on and so forth. Very up front and forth coming is the way to go. It may make you feel uncomfortable talking to your son/daughter about these things as the other gender but would you rather them not know? Not confide in you when it’s their time? Hide it from you because you were never open about it?

Your husband expects you to have this conversation? Last I checked moms don’t usually come with that kind of equipment so I think he should step up to the plate. Thats honestly pathetic. If anything you should maybe have a conversation with your husband as to why he won’t. If its just because he doesn’t want to then thats so stupid. Yes you can get books for your son and explain best you can and I urge you to get him books, but as a girl who tried having this conversation with her dad because her mom didn’t, it sucked because I wanted to talk to a girl about it someone with the same parts as me. If husband wont do it then pick up the mantle and do your best but if your husband can’t do this for your son, imagine what else he won’t do in the future for him, he will grow to resent your husband for not being the man he needed him to be or he may even resent you for not letting your husband do it. There is a lot of possibilities. But like I said be aware that if he can’t even do this with your son now, how is he going to treat him as he gets older and if thats the case choose your son over your husband and kick husband dearest to the curb.

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Personally I think this is a subject for the husband… is it that he would be embarrassed talking about with your son and that’s why he expects you to do it? Maybe talk to him together? … my boys are little so I still have a while before this comes up at my house but we are building up to it… we are 100% brutally honest in my home especially with my kids… every thing is age appropriate for them but still completely honest. I would be that way when this topic comes up too, use proper words (penis, vagina, erection…) but make sure he knows when he has a question about anything to come to you and you will have an honest answer with no judgement.

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Feel dad should talk tomorrow him

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That’s a part of parenting. Shame on your hubby. Your son needs a male role model, and he’s missing a vital moment with him.

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I was a single mom & I just talk to my son about everything. Boys are no different with ‘those feelings’ So talk to him as his mom, If you can’t I am sorry about that, find a therapist to talk to him or he will get everything from his friends.

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Soooo you think it’s ok for the father to just skip what’s also part of his parenting?

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Just be honest. Tell him what’s happening is completely normal and natural. But he has to understand that even though it’s normal and natural, private things are private for a reason. Don’t hand him a book because he’s not going to read it. Tell him it’s all a part of becoming a man.

When I was first reading this it sounded like he had an absent dad. But since he’s not his dad should talk to him. I’m dreading this day as I have soon to be 4 boys.

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Some time men are pretty stupid and boy CHILDREN are more comfortable talking to their Moms. This may sound stupid but she could explain some things better than her husband. I think wemen are better to explain thinks to kids than dad’s. Your son has questions to ask be honest. I think you would do a better job. You have a chance to be that most wonderful mom to him

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Maybe go buy a puberty book from your local bookstore and start there

My mama got the encyclopedia out when I was 9 and my sister was 7. She told us all about the anatomy differences and why.

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Young one - sometimes Daddies don’t know how to talk to their son - because no one talked to them - and had to wing it. Try get Daddy, your son and you to sit down and do it together. :heart::v:t4:

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It works best if both parents are educated, on the same page, open minded and attack this subject as a team. That way if mom can’t answer certain questions dad can and vice versa… I get it, trust me I do. My oldest sons father wasn’t involved with this conversation my youngest son’s father and I had to have this discussion and even a few years later the oldest still had questions and my current husband and I answered to the best of our ability, which is all we can do. If dad refuses to help with this discussion then go to the next best person (grandma/grandpa, an Uncle). Best of luck.

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It’s not any different for a boy than a girl. Normalize feelings — consent isn’t just saying no. - also need to explain no force - no drugs and alcohol - need to be the same intellectual age - and everyone has a right to say no at any point.
Also masturbation is normal - people do it, but there is right and wrong times - and right and wrong places.

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Tell him it’s normal, that he doesn’t have to be ashamed. Tell him that you are there to listen and research these things with him if he feels comfortable with that.

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If you are truly uncomfortable and his dad refuses, find a video one YouTube. Have him watch it alone and come to you with questions.

research male puberty. it’s natural. there’s nothing taboo or weird about it, uncomfortable, yes. but it’s better to have uncomfortable conversations with your kids instead of none at all. i wasn’t allowed to know what PMS was even when i started my period. i never understood it till about 20. i never had the birds and the bees talk so everything seemed unsafe to me until i learned better. it’s genuinely not okay, it puts a lot of unnecessary fears in a kids head like is this normal am i the only one. be honest and caring. that’s seriously all you need.

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Just be honest with him. Find out exactly what his feelings are. Boys are questioning the same as girls. Both my boys sat down and do your best, there is nothing to be ashamed of it’s a human body and it’s maturing. How you act is extremely important for future conversation.

Um you should be able to speak to this to an extent, but dad would be able to give the best advice on things. I had these talks with my boys several times. Never needed my dad or my husband to step in, but that’s me. But as far as him expecting you to do it? No boo boo that’s a mutual effort. I would understand a bit if he’s not bio dad(parental bond and such), but otherwise no.

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It’s best if your husband has that conversation with your son!

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Husbsnd needs to be there too!!!

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Tell. The. Truth.

Use medical terms and speak facts. Keep it short and sweet and get over the “uncomfortableness”. You have the opportunity to teach. Do it in a way they understand but that when as an adult they don’t feel embarrassed about it.

Tell him to not complain when your son comes to you for advice instead of him. By you talking to your son, you’re building that intimate bond with him instead of dad.

Your husband won’t help his son, WHY?

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Plenty of books n videos if dad cant/ wont help out. Maybe watch/ read them yourself to see if appropiate for age 1st

I would do the research but it more than likely will be more comfortable for him if his dad speaks to him. As another male he can relate to what his son is feeling or going through. Maybe rehearse some key points with your husband.

I told my boys(they are 14&19 now)that,this is normal and to never ever feel ashamed.

You better talk to him he’s going to have wet dreams and stuff he may get a hard on and rubb he has to know that’s normal or he will have guilt feelings I really think he would feel better if a man told him just tell your husband if he don’t want to explain it to him you’ll ask a man in the family to do it. He won’t like that Better to tell him a little at a time. Heck my grandson was worried about getting someone pregnant and came to me I’m his grandma he’s over 18 I went out and got him rubbers I don’t know what size so I got him a veriaty of them. He call me couple of weeks later and said he needed a large. Ha ha ha

Just be honest and upfront and then find a real man to help

Seems to me the dad should be there first and foremost to have this conversation with his son. He should b able to explain those feelings to his son better than mom.

My ex wouldn’t talk with our three boys so this momma had a heart to heart. I was open, honest, and knew my facts. My boys grew up knowing momma had their back. If there are problems they know mom will be there to help. You got this!!

We have four sons and I had this conversation with all of them. I was completely honest and told them that curiosity is normal . I explained how everything worked and that touching and getting to know yourself is also normal and not a bad thing. I explained what would happen. I asked if they had any questions and told them I would always answer their questions honestly . They have always came to me . We are all very close.

I told my son to look at the wall and try to explain, he couldn’t get the words together when he was looking at me.

So as a mom to 3 boys who had to have this talk with them by myself mind you I did my research first so I knew my facts we discussed what was normal as in wet dreams and what not what was appropriate and what wasn’t and also birth control and sex now I’m unsure of your feelings on sex and your kids but like with my kids I told them if they ever felt like they where wanting to have sex with their partner then to tell me so I could get them on birth control cause I have a daughter as well or get them condoms so they where protected. I answered thier questions to the best of my ability and if I didn’t know I looked it up and we talked about it. My kids are now all teens and they all still come to me about this stuff. Also don’t make them feel ashamed for masterbating it’s normal just have a talk about it and where and when they should be doing it and only have a discussion if it gets out of hand