I’m writing this with a really conflicted heart. My husband and I have struggled with infertility and recurrent miscarriage (we’ve lost five babies total, four of which were in the last two years) and have no living children. I’ve just found out I am pregnant again which I am overjoyed (though anxious and cautious) about.
Here’s the problem though. After everything we’ve been through, my husband dropped a bombshell on me at the beginning of the month that he wanted to stop trying to conceive. And I don’t just mean take a break for a couple of months so we can work through our grief and recover, but I mean stop altogether for AT LEAST a few years. He even went so far as to throw numbers like five or six years out there but then backpedaled when I started to spiral. This was devastating for me and something I really struggled to accept- I went and spent a week by the beach to try and make some peace with it. Obviously though, if one person isn’t on board- you stop.
So now, IN THE SAME MONTH, it appears we conceived despite using protection and I’m not so sure what to do. I obviously can’t hide things forever, but especially given that I’m not sure how he’s going to take the news, I’m tempted not to tell him until I know things are going to work out. We’ve gotten our hopes up and down so many times, is it worth making him come to terms with this only to have his heart broken again? Do I need to tell him right away or would it be crazy to wait until I at least heard a heartbeat?
What would you do?
In same boat I’m going to wait y til heartbeat then take the scan photo to him and discuss and if he is not on board 100% then I am not continuing anything to do with him