How old is she? If she’s old enough, she can fly by herself. You can walk her up and wait for her at her flight gate with an I.D…
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She only sees him 4 times a year ! Is is really that much of a inconvenience ? Also the reason she has to travel in the first place is becuse of your husbands job so why should she have to pay .
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Go get a modification to your order. I’m sure the judge would change things. That seems insane to me.
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I’d definitely go back to court. Travel should be split that the receiving party has to pick up the child and pay for it! At least that’s how it is with my custody agreement and my husbands! And I’m sure any judge or even mediator (if that’s an option) would say that! Good luck custody battles suck
If he was together with his ex when they split and he is military-was the bm and child in their home state? Did she take the child to her home state? Seems if they are a military family she may have taken the child first away from him, unless he was transfered first 
. Also my family splits transportation with my ex and our oldest because we had to move with my husband’s job. I lowered child support before we moved so he could use the money saved from support for the trips he pays for.
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If u go to court they would most certainly can order switching holidays as far as getting her to meet halfway im not sure but can’t hurt to go to the courthouse n ask the lawyer of the day or call a lawyer
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At 9 or older, assuming she doesn’t have any special needs, she should be able to fly alone.
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Go back to court and have it so the mother has to do some traveling and see if you can change the visits around
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First off he is active military and I want to say thank you for his and your families sacrifices. 2nd how dare you people judge his schedule
When he is helping keep our country safe. 3rd I agree he needs to speak with his x wife about schedule
And if she cannot comply take her to court. They have 3 children and I’m sure time with dad is very short so I would not
Want to be traveling but honestly the plans where there before 2 more kids were added. If you do not like the arrangements and no one will budge he may have to take her to court and fight for more time.
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I think you should pay for her to get to you and the ex should pay for her to get back to her 
I don’t think you should have to pay for your child to leave you
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Been there done that. Tried the court… she lived in FL us in MI. We offered collect calls ( because she was never around when we prearranged a call) we had to pay ALL her transportation otherwise we didn’t see her. You can try n take her to court but honestly if BM doesn’t want to even meet you 1/2 way then it’s likely she won’t of the courts tell her to. I know it’s hard but keep doing what you are doing. As soon as you know the visitation look for a flight. Even if it’s to a airport that’s a bit closer. Driving 200 miles is better than 400. We picked our daughter from Chicago many a time. Or we did a long weekend n drove to FL picked her up n drove home. Stay with what you have… my opinion
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We learned that the day of the celebration was more important then the date early on and it saved us a lot of grief over the years. I know it sucks but it may make it less stress for all if you do it that way. In truth I hated my kids not being able to just “be” on the major holidays and hated splitting them into Christmas eve/Christmas day. They didn’t get to fully enjoy toys or family.
Before my bonus son came to live with us full time, we lived in CA and his EX moved to FL with his son, my husband too was active duty. We NEVER had a scheduling conflict with his visitation, unless he was deployed. We knew what days we were going to get his son because it never changed, so we would book his ticket very early in advance and we’d fly him to us. We paid for our own visitation because it wasn’t her responsibility. We didn’t fly our family of 5 to go see him, we flew him to us. His leave was alway granted. My question is why does he only have her for 4 days of visitation? I’d be for going to court and getting more visitation days or lengthening the stay of the times she gets to spend with you; but from the sounds of the situation, there are things you could be doing differently to cut those costs down and maximize the visits. You think it’s rough on you; your kids get their dad whenever he’s home, his daughter gets to see him 4 times a year-I think you could be a little more understanding to that and plan better. Sure it all sounds confusing and over complicated because he’s “active” duty, but in the grand scheme of things, it’s only as difficult as you make it.
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You could take her to court but if she’s already this unhelpful then I doubt that will change. I believe travel should be split between both parties (flying on public holidays is always darer). I think it does make a difference on who moved away etc though.
Try to revise schedule to reverse every other year
We do the unaccompanied minor flights on southwest, $50 each way. We have two kids in the family that use it to fly from Colorado to California and back. We just check them into the airport and wait for plane to leave, other parent has to do the same.
Let her fly alone. I flew cross country at her age before.
I don’t understand why he can’t ever have Christmas. I would take it to court and change it. Plus kids get usually 2 weeks off for Christmas why can’t he have more? Go back to court make her meet half way. My ex and I do every other year for holidays. One year he has Christmas next me.
Depending on the state, yes.
Request a fair modification. Provided your guys can make it based on THE CHILD’S state guidelines, it should be fine. Plus, she’s older. If planes are uses, she can fly alone & your can be at the gate to get her. My son flew a lot. I filled out they paperwork & always went to gate with him. 
My son’s father rarely brought his whole family to get our son & I travelled 4hrs when he would have them bc being a witch to this wife & kids bc we don’t get along was a waste of energy.
I also hardly went to pick up my SD.
It wasn’t about me.
Yes they will do half way or U do one way she dose one way mine been to court I drive to pick up 9 in half hrs drive home there dad picks up drops off he in NSW
Bring her home to your State. File for custody and don’t return her until the ex-wife agrees to be a better parent. Play her game!