How would you feel about this?

How would you mommas feel about letting your sons father take him on vacation when he hasn’t paid child support
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How would you feel about this?

Would your son be safe with him?? If the answer is yes let him it’s not Always about child support…

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I’m not gonna have my son miss out on a memorable vacation because of money.

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Well a vacation is for the child’s benefit so why not?

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If his dad wants to take him on vaccy and u know he’s safe and in good hands let him go .

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If he is safe with his dad, and there is no reason he shouldn’t go, money should not be an issue.

If it would make the child happy to go with his dad… Then don’t punish the child by taken away time with his dad BC he’s not paying. It’s not the child’s fault, and that’s who suffers also when not letting the child go.

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Wow :flushed: are you serious? That is his child!!! Spending time with the kid is soooo much more important than him giving you money!!!

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I think I’d be more worried about safety over anything . Bc you won’t be the one funding the trip so that part shouldn’t matter

Let his Dadey bond with his baby. Whats more important $ or your child feeling wanted and loved

What a dirty question…

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Your child isn’t a bargaining tool… dear lord

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Two wrongs don’t make a right.
The vacation shouldn’t be out of the question unless the child’s safety is not certain with dad.
However, child support is an obligation, and if you feel he is hiding income, you should bring up to your lawyer or to the court that he is able to afford vacations, but does not fulfill his financial obligations for the child’s daily life.

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As long as he is not from a different country that he plans on living and keeping the child then yes I would let him go .

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Even if he has denied you child support and as much as you don’t like him you can’t deny him of his son unless by the courts.

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Let him go as long as you have custody though courts if not he can file

One has nothing to do with the other.

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I raised 2 with no child support and still let my daughter’s father take her even though he didn’t pay. It’s not about the money it’s about the child and a child having both parents in their lives.

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He can afford to take a vacation but not pay his child support?

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Child support doesn’t determine how well he can care for his child unless the mother is just in it for the money which means she doesn’t deserve the child to begin with :woman_shrugging:t2:

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Seriously?
If this is how think, please send that child with his father.
Adult business isn’t about the child. Handle the cs in court.
Besides, of you don’t have legal custody, in some states, he doesn’t have to ask you. Be the adult for your child.

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Jesus Christ it’s not about money. If the child is safe let it go with its father. If the father ain’t a threat to you or the child custody should be split 50 50. Fathers who pay child support should be provided with receipts on what their money actually went too

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I had three rules with my oldest dad: Don’t come around unless you’re sober, have a job/support paid, once you decide to be part of her life you stay/no revolving door bs. She is 13 and has seen him maybe 4-5× ever. His parents see her and take her all the time. He is not present.

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My son is 11 and his father has never been consistent on his child support, ever. Yet, I have never ever kept him from seeing him because of money? If there is a question about safety, then that’s different. Also, if your son “wants” to go and spend time with him? Why not

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A father shouldn’t have to pay you to see his child. Yes they should help but just bc they fall behind doesn’t mean they should be stripped of their rights your child isn’t a weapon to use against someone

Make sure you at least have something notarized where he leaves on whatever day and returns on whatever day they return because if the father wants (if y’all have no custody agreement set) he could keep your son from you and since he’s on his birth certificate it wouldn’t be kidnapping. I know women personally who went through this kind of thing. Then you’d have to wait til a court date to get him back. Not even about the CS though. So just be weary about that.

I think you should let him go if the father is a safe person… but don’t let these other ppl on here make you feel like it’s a stupid question! Good for all you that you didn’t get support… congrats. Some people really need the money to help raise THEIR child… & when they don’t get it while the father is living his life not giving a shit it really sucks. I would be in a tough spot too if this was the case for me… but if you know that kiddo will have fun than ya! You’re putting your son first…

Don’t listen to these rude ass people.

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Child support aside…can you trust him that far away to take care of the child? Will the trip be a good experience for the child? Will the trip help build a better bond between the child and father? Will the trip give your child good memories to hold on to for years to come? Is the father a good father? Will the child be in danger? Will the child be safe?….etc….those are the questions you should be asking and answering in your mind. Those question and more so the answers are what you should be making your decision off of!!!

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Im the one who pays my kids dad child support because he’s very good at hiding his money. He can take the kids anywhere he wants as long as he gives me notice so I don’t make plans for that time and can prepare the kids for extended time away from me and get them excited about the trip. Money has nothing to do with my kids rights to be with their father. We do not like each other. He was useless as a husband but he loves his boys and they deserve the opportunity to make all the memories both parents can offer.

Well, he would be paying for the vacation, so it would be counter-productive not to let him go if $$$$ is the issue. Maybe his issue rightly or wrongly is giving you the money, maybe come to an agreement where he directly pays for school fees, books, uniforms etc etc to the value of child support? If still, he doesn’t pay it then
he is a wanker but your son still deserves the bonding time.

I’m not sure how your adult agreements correlate to child visitation. You’re not renting your child out.

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I would do just so ur child can have fun and enjoy a vacation.

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I’d let him take his child… just because no money has been paid doesn’t mean I’m going to keep my kids from their dad. That’s low.

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My ex is behind on CS from years ago. I would never withhold visits because of back CS and I would never tell him not to take them on a vacation where they will make forever memories. I should also mention that parenting plans and uniform support orders (child support) are two separate matters with the court and if you chose to withhold visits because of money, you could be held in contempt on a parenting plan.

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Let him go. Stopping a relationship between a father and their child over money is ridiculous! Don’t be selfish

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Ummm let him go!!! Some fathers don’t pay child support cus they are miserable themselves!! Doesn’t mean keep the child away!! At the end of the day they had fun together but still doesn’t change that he still owes

Regardless the dad is going on that vacation. You’re just denying your child the experience of the vacation so the only one who will really lose anything is the child. At least he’s taking the kid.

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This is concerning. That you’d rip your kid out of a vacation over child support. I find it weird he’s behind but can do a vacation BUT if you are basing visitation off of what he’s paid…you are ripping your kid off. Safety is the number one priority.

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You sound money hungry? You okay love…
everyone struggles but dont scoop that low.

Currently dealing with a women like you rn. And honestly you kind me physically sick :nauseated_face::face_vomiting:

Demanding money flat and the moment you don’t get your way you hold your child as a porn?? Ewww… just ew.
You shouldn’t have custody.
I said what I said.

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It’s shitty he doesn’t pay child support and has the money for a vacation but why take the opportunity away from your child??

Why must it always be about money? Dad wants to spend time with his son be thankful. Let your son have an as normal as possible childhood.

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A boy needs his father period unless it’s toxic

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Is your child excited?? Does he love his dad?? Why punish the child just because you didn’t get $$$?? At least the dads trying to do something with him?

My kids’ dad didn’t pay child support that was Court ordered fully…couldn’t be bothered to even make an effort to see them. I was both Mom n Dad

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You can’t hold a child from the parent because you didn’t get money. This is why kids grow up with issues. You child isn’t an item you can rent out for money. Let your kid go have fun.

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Ask him how he can afford a vacation when he can’t afford child support?

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All I have to say just make sure your kids dad keeps you updated. There’s no need to keep the kid away from there father. If your worried about child support that’s what court is for.

I wouldn’t care if the father was actually present and showed up more then twice a year. Not to mention he lives out of state. There’s no trust or relationship built he’s a ghost so why would I?

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That’s still his child. He shouldn’t have to pay to see his own kid. As long as he’s active in the kid’s life and a good father you can trust, then let the child go with him. If you’re that worried about child support, take him to court.

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You shouldn’t punish the child because of the father.

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It’s toxic that you are thinking with your purse and not your sons needs! Unless the contact is nasty then pull your head in and let you son have quality time with his father!

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I’d say only withhold visits if it was a safety issue. It sucks he doesn’t financially help but IS HE TRUSTWORTHY? SAFE? That’s the real question I’d think.

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I wouldn’t like it. But I would want my child to be happy and make memories.

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My daughter went to live with her father at age 7. For the next 10 years he’d threaten to keep her from me if I didn’t give him more than what we agreed. I wish we would’ve gone through the courts. It hurt her so much watching us be assholes to each other. Please don’t put your kid through the same thing. Be the bigger person for your kid’s sake. If he’s not paying the support go to court and have it taken directly from his check

How often does he see your son? How old is your son?

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Take him back to court instead of punishing your child :roll_eyes:

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Child support shouldn’t have anything to do with the bond between a parent and child that’s selfish

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As long as he’s been actively involved, I wouldn’t care.

I woud let my child experience as much of the world that he could safely.

Child support is for the benefit of the child. So if the holiday benefits the child then he should go. Your relationship with your ex has nothing to do with the relationship between your child and their dad. I never received any maintenance from my ex for my daughter but he pays for everything she needs so that’s all that matters.

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Child support should not decide of the child and parents have a relationship point blank period!! To keep a child from a parent because of child support is petty and selfish

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Let the kid go on vacation. time with the other parent is more important then money. Money brings material things while time brings memories and memories last forever.

I would want my child to have the time with their father.

So because he hasn’t paid YOU child support you want to punish the child and not let him go on vacation? Grow up and let him spend time with his dad especially if he’s active in his life

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child support has nothing to do with visitation

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What??? I totally get wanting and needing child support, but that’s pretty much punishing the child as well…… please don’t be that parent. Take it from experience, they will know (the kids) once they reach a certain age, they’ll know who was petty and kept them away from said parent :disappointed:

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My daughter lost her father when she was 2. Believe me, she just wishes she could hear his voice, wishes he was here with her. She could care less about the money :woman_shrugging:t3:

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Nope. So he can go on a vacation but he can’t pay child support? Is this even a question??

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Don’t use the child as a weapon against dad :roll_eyes::roll_eyes:it’s disgusting

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Child support has nothing to do with visitation time so if your child wants to go you need to let that happen quit letting money influence the bond between a parent and a child sounds a little bit selfish

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Well as long as there’s communication and it’s not like out of the country and they have an established relationship then yes. As much as it would suck and I’d miss them. Child support being paid or not has nothing to do with visitation.

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A child deserves a father and if he has them half the time then he shouldn’t be paying. Let the child enjoy the holiday with his father money isn’t everything

I would hope you have custody, if there’s red flags then no, if him not paying is the only issue then let the kid go.

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Send the child on vacation with their father :anguished:that’s the obvious choice in my book… Don’t be high conflict or petty…

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deprive your son an experience with his dad because he didn’t give YOU money? :woozy_face::woozy_face:

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As long as it’s safe and the kid can enjoy himself shit that’s the least the dad could do. If you’re concerned about child support take it up with the court, dont take it out on on your kid’s opportunity to spend time with his father.

Context matters. How behind? Is he an involved and responsible parent?

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What does child support have to do with your child spending time with his dad? Maybe sooner else is helping pay for the vacation?

Child support and visitation DO NOT go hand in hand!!! Let the child go with their father!! Tf?!

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I also just cannot understand how the words “child support” are so triggering for a lot of people. Jeez :joy:

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I feel like you need to sort out your priorities :thinking:

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Are you serious. ? Lmao he’s taking him on a vacation

If he paid child support he may not have the money to take his son on a vacation. I guess it depends on how far behind he is on the child support.
I would take him to court to get the arrearage caught up.
Also, depends on what your divorce decree states. If it states that he is allowed to take his son on a week or two vacation every summer, then you may not have a choice. Still take him to court for the back child support.

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Let him go on vacation with dad.
Take him to court to about the child support.

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This is really not ok, what if its someone else paying? You’d keep your child from going still? Will your child have fun and be safe? Yes? Let that child make memories and have an awesome experience.

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Ya super petty. Don’t punish your son because his dad didn’t give YOU money

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If the dad is paying for the vacation I would not allow it, first he has to pay child support. He’s financially responsible for his kid like you are!

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He mustn’t be on the birth certificate don’t government departments just take care of that when you name them no matter where they run off to :joy:

two different things.

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Not all about money :speak_no_evil:

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Your son don’t know anything about child support. Love your child and let him be with his father. Any female that withholds their child from the father over money should’ve never been blessed with children because you don’t love your child and you have no regard for their feelings.

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If he can be trusted with your son I would allow them to create the memories. Sons need quality time with their dads.

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He should be paying to help you support the kid (file with the court), but shouldn’t have to pay to see him. Totally not okay to with-hold a child from their parent. That doesn’t just punish the adult, it also hurts the child because they don’t get to see someone they love AND they grow to resent the other parent which hurts them even more.

You do you though. Just my thought/opinion.

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If he’s a good dad otherwise let him go… kids are not pay to play objects.

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Don’t be spiteful!!! Your son Will resent you for not letting him see his father

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There’s so many questions we need…

Has he always been involved?
Does he see the child regularly?
Is he a good father?

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A parent shouldn’t have to buy time with their child. Children need both parents.

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I wouldn’t send him. He doesn’t get to play superdad while I’m struggling to provide necessities. I won’t enable him. Those say he should be allowed to create memories with his son are disregarding her right to also make memories with her child. You all think it’s ok for him to take her ability to create enjoyable memories by not contributing to the child’s needs?

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I would obviosly let him visit his dad, because it is not fair for the child to not see his father.
But…if the dad has enough money to go for a holiday, and also has enough money to pay for his child to go with him for a holiday, than he has enough money to help with the necessities of his child! I personally would not, but then again, there are so many questions to be asked before you get to this discussion.

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