Ok, if your boyfriend went out with some girl he’s “friends” with for dinner and you can’t go, how would that make you feel?
A relationship should be built around mutual trust and respect, without those two factors you have nothing. To be able to have open communication where you can confess your fears and insecurities surrounding any situation, is how you healthily come to a mutual understanding of what’s comfortable to both you and your partner. I understand that my insecurities are a reflection of me and not my partner and so in turn I try not to project those unto my partner. I see no wrong doing in my partner choosing to spend his time with any other human because I know that he will act in what’s respectful to and of me, even when I’m not around.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How would you feel if your boyfriend went out with a girl "friend" for dinner?
That’s a HELLL NO from me. If I can’t go, he’s not going.
That be a all hell no and we’d be fighting nope not in my book. He’d be a ex boyfriend
I’d tell him to take his shit with him!!! Disrespectful
he would be out that door quick
The fact you can’t go should tell you…
If they have been friends for awhile and I knew her, it wouldn’t bother me at all.
That’s a date….the fact you can’t go is a red flag
How does it make OP feel
Nah that’s crossing a line friends or not & whats the “reason” that you can’t go?
I don’t see the issue as long as he isn’t trying to hide it from me, I don’t care
Why can’t you go? Because you aren’t available to go? Or because he/they said you can’t go?
Ia be feeling a bit stabby
Can you not go because they told you that you can’t or you can’t because you’re busy?
My partner is allowed friends and vice versus
Helllllllll mf no… Especially if I didn’t know her or meet her
Can’t go as in you are unable to make it, or Can’t go as in you were told you weren’t invited?
eww if she cant be cool with Both of you, she’s no friend! & if its your boyfriend who wont let you come, he isnt just Your boyfriend
Hed come home to his stiff on the curb.and the locks changed
I have guy friends so as long it’s a mutual thing and it’s not disrespectful I wouldn’t care. I wouldn’t try to control the situation though - if I felt he was into her, I’d move on.
It would make me feel single… cause I’d tell him to kiss my ass
I don’t see an issue with it at all
It’s disrespectful. Period.
Buh bye I have friends that are guys they are all married and I am close with their wives. I would never meet them alone for dinner.
That’s gonna be a no from me.
Nope it would be the same if I went out to eat with a guy who was a friend it wouldn’t happen
Are you unavailable to go because of some other commitment? Or did he say you can’t go?
New friend or old? Do you know her?
It would make me feel like I became single.
Context on the “Can’t go” is needed…
Can’t go because of your own situation but you were invited, it’s fine.
Can’t go because you were not invited and not allowed to go, it’s time to send him packing
he cheated so dump him
I think there’s alot of variables, but men are allowed to have woman friends.
Ummm that would be her man not my man anymore…he is very disrespectful
Nope!!! Someone’s getting cut
It wouldn’t bother me. My best friend is a guy. So if my husband had a best friend who was a girl, why would it be any different? I trust my husband and he trusts me. But we’ve been together 11 years, it may have bothered me when we were newly dating but not now.
Go out to dinner with a guy “friend” if that’s how it’s gonna be, it should work both ways.
Need more background on this “friend” and why I wouldn’t be able to attend.
And what if the shoe was on the other foot
He would be kicked to the curb
Let him go if he wants to. He just better Not come back! Thats no boyfriend of mine.
A dinner with a friend shouldn’t matter so much, either male or female. If you already DONT trust him … that’s the bigger problem
If you don’t have a reason not to trust him, who cares? Why would you need to go? I’d probably ask a couple of questions, yeah. But I don’t have a problem with this.
I wouldn’t care. I trust my husband.
It depends on your relationship. I trust my husband but I also know my husband would never go eat without me especially with a woman alone. There’s a level of respect there that can’t be broken
Well you can have friends from the different sex. Its not a big deal. If you cant trust him you dont need him.
Context is very important here…
Are people no longer allowed to have friends? If you’re threatened by a friendship maybe there’s a deeper issue here
We need way more information on this
Honestly if you feel some kinda way just do it back set plans to go out with a guy friend an id if he doesn’t like it then point out why you don’t either
I go out with my friend from work for lunch and I wouldn’t mind if Karl did we trust eachother x
I just don’t see why he needs to go to dinner with another female
I’ve had multiple male best friends who I have hung out with without my husband, including going to eat. We are just friends. My husband trusts me. And he’s always invited whether he comes or not.
Jealousy is petty. But I also trust my husband, so 🤷
Tell him how it makes you feel
My husband goes to dinner with his female best friend and I go to dinner with my male best friend all the time without the other. It’s called trust if you don’t have that in your relationship it may be time to re examine where you are!
I’d be going out with some guy friends …
Not giving room for opportunity. Sorry not Sorry!
What’s mine is MINE.
I trust my husband,but there better be a good reason why i couldnt go and he better bring me something home to eat! I know my husband went out to eat with female coworkers for lunch when worked…that is different and fine. He also went out to lunch with male coworkers too. That doesnt matter. However,if just a friend and there isnt a good reason i cant come…that would be fishy and he better bring food home to soothe my anger that i couldnt go bc i am very food driven. Lol.
It’s not about trust at all but a level of respect for each other. Why would I ever go out to dinner with any man other than my husband unless it’s my parents or my father if my mother dies? It’s not normal practice in our marriage. Not sure how it’s supposed to be in general.
If you can do it you better expect the same treatment in return
Depends. You gotta trust tho or there’s no relationship
I’d feel a bit wobbly inside but I’d have let him go. It’s about trust and love. If you don’t have those, why are you together?
I went out with a friend last night for dinner I even bought back dinner for my family. We’ve been friends for 29 years no problem over here!
Depends on the female and situation. Hubs has ALOT of female friends. One of his best friends is a female and also a bff of mine so there is NO worry there.
I’d show up anyway!! Make it a party!!
These comments really make me sad tho… Eye for an eye leaves everyone blind. If you don’t trust him, there’s no point to the relationship. Period.
That’s disrespectful af. For you not being able to go is a huge red flag!
Jealousy means you my feel insecure. Maybe check if that’s what’s going on. Is it a bunch of people and she happens to be in the group? No biggie. Is it just the 2 of them? Maybe more of a concern but still could be nothing
It’s more about respect than trust to me … you can’t go because you are either working or have plans or Bc they say you can’t go? That’s a big difference
Why couldn’t you go with them? That would be the issue for me.
Depends. How long they been friends? If it was before u and they were strictly friends then sure they can go, but why then wouldn’t u be able to go? If it’s a new friendship, ya nope! Lol girls are shady asf. And so are men
Hmmm my husband can go out with anyone he wants, but I can’t imagine a world where he told me I wasn’t allowed to come along.
If there is no double date, then absolutely not
If I had met her and my intuition tells me it’s only friends then I would be ok with it. But if I have an incling at all that she is interested or vice versa he would be eating her for dinner. And NOT in a fun way
Can’t go? Like… no, I’m sorry you are not invited? Or you can’t make it because you have your own thing going on… … that makes a BIG difference to me.
There would be no such thing as long as I could help it
Depends on how well I know the girl. She would have to be a good friend of both of us. My husband had a female friend before he met me but she’s more like an aunt to him. I’d trust him with her alone cuz I can tell they’re only like family.
My boyfriend spent time with 2 of his female friends spent time together for his birthday last week. I started to get jealous but then I remembered that he’s given me no reason to distrust him and deserves to have friends. He was honest about it and I left it alone and let him enjoy his time.
The only part that’s off is that you can’t go. So I’d need clarification. Like are you busy and can’t go. Are they going someplace your kids can’t go. Are they planning a surprise for you. Are there personal matters she needs advice on. That would make the difference.
Yea sorry but that’s not happening lol
You can’t go he should not disrespect you he should not go either
From a secular perspective is whatever. From my faith based perspective, it’s a no from me dawg.
Even if you trust each other, isn’t that opening the door for something more? Maybe not now but eventually?
Ummmm . Question. Why u couldn’t go? If u cant go why they have to go?
Oh hell no I’d show up anyways
It would depend greatly on the context, how he knew this friend, and how often they go out to eat together. If it’s a chick he met a month ago and they’re eating out every week, that’s a big no. If it’s his best friend from high school and she’s in town visiting and they want to go eat and catch up, that’s fine. It would also depend on the reason you can’t go. Is it because you’re busy or just don’t want to go, or is it because they don’t want you there?
Evaluate the situation as objectively as you can. One on one time with real friends is ok. Dating other people right under your nose is not.
Why can’t you go? That seems weird, i would never deny my husband to go out with me and whoever. Red Flag
It depends on why you can’t go. If it’s because you’re working, then I see nothing wrong with him hanging with a friend. If you’re free and they just won’t let you join, huge red flag.
I don’t care what female “friend” it is, I would feel completely disrespected. How well do you know this female “friend”? If you tell him how it makes you feel and he still insists on going, I’d play PI and find out what’s going on for myself 🕵🏻♀️
As long as he’s OK with me having that same quality time with my male friends, we are all OK…
Well, my best friend of 10 yrs is a guy, and it always has been and always will be platonic so I really don’t see an issue with male/female friendships.
Well if she was jusy a friend and I had to work or was busy I don’t see the problem
Hell to the no. Especially if i am told i can’t go. Screw that. If he went he could stay gone
Sus, IMHO. I’d probably need more context (is there a VALID reason you can’t go?) But likely this sounds unacceptable
Can’t go? Well he can’t go on yours either…do on to others as others do on to you…
I’d probably feel pretty single.
Find you a guy friend and go out with him. See how he feels about that
Mad upset go find then
Lots of insecurity in these comments.
I’m a very jealous person and needy, but even I wouldn’t mind depending on the back ground of the situation.
My amazing man does not care who I am friends with because we trust each other fully. And same goes for him. As long as this girl isn’t an all of sudden kind of friend I don’t care a bit
That would be a hard no from me , but if he’s okay with doing that, he should be okay with me going out with my guy friends. equal energy. If he doesn’t like you doing it then, he shouldn’t do it either .
If I wasn’t up to going and we were meeting a friend for dinner, I would still expect him to go and meet up with her for dinner. He wouldn’t want me to avoid going out just because he didn’t feel up to going somewhere.